# items

item_name: bordered initials embroidery pattern
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This sheet of paper has been printed with guidelines for embroidering initials on clothing, and a decorative border for them.  You could easily sketch your initials on it and then embroider them from the pattern.

appraise_text:
The bordered initials embroidery pattern is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: [type] hipflask
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This small flask has been shaped with a gentle curve to slip snugly against one's hip and stay discreet under clothes.  A screw top safely seals in any liquid, alcoholic or otherwise.  An Assassins' Guild coat of arms is engraved onto it.

appraise_text:
The small hipflask is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, nine items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: [type] hipflask [larger]
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This bronzed flask has been shaped with a gentle curve to slip snugly against one's hip and stay discreet under clothes.  A screw top safely seals in any liquid, alcoholic or otherwise.  An Assassins' Guild coat of arms is engraved onto it.

appraise_text:
The silver hipflask is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: blackened silver mirror
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a blackened silver framed mirror.  Ideal for doing your makeup or checking around the corner.

appraise_text:
The blackened silver mirror is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silver.


item_name: black beret
description: This is a snooty little black beret, irritatingly floppy with a little nodule poking out on top.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The black beret is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: painter's smock
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A smock worn by painters to stop their clothes getting dirty.  It is dull grey from overuse and is stained with innumerable, and frequently unidentifiable, colours.

appraise_text:
The painter's smock is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: collapsible steel baton
weight: 1lb
description:
This is a finely made collapsible steel baton.  It has been collapsed, making it less useful for hitting people but more handy to store.

appraise_text:
The collapsible steel baton is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: watered-steel long sword
weight: 3 2/9 lb
description:
This long, slender sword has a simple cruciform hilt wrapped in black sharkskin for a good grip.  The blade is made from the finest pattern-welded steel, the folded and hammered layers of metal resembling the flowing surface of a forest stream.  It is of high quality, evidently manufactured by expert hands.

appraise_text:
The watered-steel long sword is about three and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: rose-hilted long sword
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
Delicate but strong rose stems, coated with a dark glossy green enamel, twine about the cruciform hilt of this elegant, slender sword.  An open rose blossom, the intricately layered petals formed from gold, sits at the juncture of hilt and blade on each side, and the sharp thorns that dot the quillons are also gleaming gold.  The blade is made from the finest pattern-welded steel, the folded and hammered layers of metal resembling the flowing surface of a forest stream.  It is of high quality, evidently manufactured by expert hands.

appraise_text:
The rose-hilted long sword is about three and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: crossbow string
appraise_text: The crossbow string is about three feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of hemp.
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a piece of fine bowstring with a loop on each end.  The thickness of the string implies the use in a crossbow, since these strain the strings considerably more than a bow.


item_name: carved wooden flamingo
weight: 23 1/9 lb
description:
This carved wooden flamingo is of the standard cheesy garden variety.  Its neck extends up in a graceful curve while its two spindly metal legs veer off in opposing directions, the better to balance the flamingo once it is placed.

appraise_text:
The carved wooden flamingo is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: ankle length black velvet dress
weight: 5lb
description:
Stitched in the softest of velvets, this dress swirls easily around the ankles of the wearer.  It has a waist that flatters and hugs curves where they should be, ignoring those that should not be there.  It has a bodice that reveals just a hint of cleavage.

appraise_text:
The ankle length black velvet dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: amethyst silk veil
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This gauzy gossamer veil looks as though it was spun from crushed amethysts, gleaming in tones of sapphire and ruby where the light touches it.  It floats in front of the wearer's face, concealing everything from the bridge of the nose downwards.  It is bound along the top by a thin gold ribbon, which trails out into tiny gold clasps that secure the veil in the wearer's hair.  Small marquise-cut amethysts dangle from the bottom hem to weight the thin fabric and to guard against the veil being blown aside by an errant breeze.  The shimmering silk of the veil serves to enhance and deepen the eyes, making them appear larger and more alluring.

appraise_text:
The amethyst silk veil is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is amethyst and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: large pair of chopsticks
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a very long pair of plain wood chopsticks, they would look nice stuck up in your hair, provided you like the long and spiky look.

appraise_text:
The large pair of chopsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of red chopsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of rounded pointy chopsticks, lacquered red and covered with a delicate gold leaf patter at the thicker end.  The perfect accessory to a red and gold kimono, these chopsticks would look lovely twirled up in your hair.

appraise_text:
The pair of red chopsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of wooden chopsticks
description: This is a small pair of slender wooden chopsticks that would look very nice stuck in your hair.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The pair of wooden chopsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of square chopsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of square chopsticks, their wood lacquered with a plain, clear gloss.  They would look lovely holding a head of hair up in a bun.

appraise_text:
The pair of square chopsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of fine pearl chopsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of round and pointy chopsticks, complete with fine carving on the handles - partly lacquered gold, partly dark wood.  The thicker ends are decorated with very fine pieces of mother-of-pearl.  You could probably bind your hair up nicely with them.

appraise_text:
The pair of fine pearl chopsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of ribboned chopsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of very plain wooden chopsticks, partly joined at one end with a piece of ribbon.  They're not the kind of chopsticks you'd want to use more than once, really.  They might look nice stuck in your hair, though.

appraise_text:
The pair of ribboned chopsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: old Circle Sea map
appraise_text: The old Circle Sea map is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pen and ink map of the Circle Sea.  Cities, mountains and forests from Klatch to the Ramtops are displayed.  The map is dog-eared and worn with the black ink fading to indigo in places.  Marked on the map in ink are the Haribos mountain range, the mountains of Turnwise Klatchistan, the Betrush Mountains, the Mountains of the Sun, Wanobe, the Carrack Mountains, Ur, Al'Znufir, El Harib, Djelibeybi, Tsort, Heliodelphilodelphiloschromenos, the necropolis, Al Ybi, the Morpork Mountains, Ankh-Morpork, Al Khali, Kom, some stone ruins, Ephebe, Hayl, Eritor, the Skund Forest, Quirm and Pseudopolis.


item_name: cursed herring
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Some dolt misheard the order to get the herring cured and it ended up with a curse on it instead.  Thankfully it hasn't been cured too, so at least it'll eventually rot away.


item_name: reduced price herring
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
For some reason this herring is cheaper than the others.  Closer inspection reveals that it is probably not as fresh as it might be and that it might not be so great to eat.


item_name: cured kipper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A herring, freshly caught from the sea and then smoked for extra flavour.  It seems to have been pickled.


item_name: cured extra large kipper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This kipper is actually quite huge, and would happily feed a medium-sized family.  It seems to have been pickled.


item_name: Mad Hamish Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of Mad Hamish of the Silver Horde, with a firing wheelchair-mounted Barking Dog!  It is about four inches high, an elderly man seated upon a wheelchair covered in blades.  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The Mad Hamish Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: 'Teach' Saveloy Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of 'Teach' Saveloy of the Silver Horde, with bow-and-arrow!  It stands about six inches high wearing a mail shirt, a quiver of toy arrows and model bow.  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The 'Teach' Saveloy Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Truckle the Uncivil Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of Truckle the Uncivil of the Silver Horde, with stick-swinging arm action!  It stands about six inches high holding two walking sticks, one in each hand.  On one of the walking sticks you can read "LOVE" and on the other you can read "HATE".  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The Truckle the Uncivil Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Boy Willie Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of Boy Willie of the Silver Horde, with halberd-swinging dual arm action!  It stands about six inches high holding a halberd in both hands.  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The Boy Willie Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Caleb the Ripper Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of Caleb the Ripper of the Silver Horde, with sword-swinging dual arm action!  It stands about six inches high holding two katanas, one in each hand, and a chocolate shield slung over its back.  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The Caleb the Ripper Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Shining Army Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This model appears to be a tacky rip-off of the Silver Horde figures.  It represents an elderly gentleman holding a katana, and looks enough like one of Cohen's gang to confuse a well-meaning parent.

appraise_text:
The Shining Army Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Cohen the Barbarian Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of Cohen of the Silver Horde, with sword-swinging arm action!  It stands about six inches high holding a broadsword in one hand.  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The Cohen the Barbarian Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Old Vincent Action Figure
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an action figure of Old Vincent of the Silver Horde, with club-swinging arm action!  It stands about six inches high holding a spiked club in one hand.  It appears to be made out of heavily-varnished painted wood.

appraise_text:
The Old Vincent Action Figure is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: My Little Water Buffalo
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a wooden water buffalo model, painted a hideous light blue, with a garish purple mane and sparkling pink hooves.  Quite why this appeals to any child at any age defies belief.

appraise_text:
The My Little Water Buffalo is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Executive Whapper
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The Executive Whapper consists of a small wooden pole, roughly one and a half feet long, with a button halfway up it.  If you peer down one end, you can see several fingers pointing back up at you, and a thumb giving you the universal 'Thumbs up'.  You could probably 'swhap' someone with it.

appraise_text:
The Executive Whapper is about a foot and a half long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: musical box
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is an elegantly crafted musical box.  Decorated by the image of several Auriental pipers, piping on their pipes.  It is very beautifully made by a skilled craftsman, and looks as if it might be worth quite a lot.  The musical box is closed.

appraise_text:
The musical box is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: mystical eight ball
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is an imported magic eight-ball.  It is something of a fabled contraption amongst the Agateans, who believe it can tell the future.  You need merely give it a good 'shake' and see what appears on the read-out.

appraise_text:
The mystical eight ball is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: brown hedge robe
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is an ancient brown robe with small cheap white lace trimmings lining the edges of the garment.  It is made out of an old faded brown velvet material which looks like it was orginally a curtain that has been cut into shape.  It is what brown hedge wizards would wear.  The brown hedge robe has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The brown hedge robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is brown and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: green sash
description: This fine sash of green silk is just the kind a third level wizard would wear.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The green sash is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is green and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blue sash
description: This fine sash of blue silk is just the kind a sixth level wizard would wear.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The blue sash is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: silver-blue silk cloak
weight: 1 7/9 lb
description:
The hem of this thigh-length cloak has been cut into a dozen scalloped points, each one tipped with a faceted crystal like a bead of water dangling from an icicle's tip.  The high stiff collar comes to a point at the back, and others project forwards on either side, all three tipped with a matching crystal.  The silver chain clasping it across the front is quite simple, draping in a loose arc across their chest.  A network of glowing octarine threads traces between the crystals.  The silver-blue silk cloak has one inside pocket.

appraise_text:
The silver-blue silk cloak is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is silver-blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: badly printed t-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a fairly plain t-shirt made from white cotton.  Its only redeeming feature (if you could call it that) are the words "I joined the Wizards' Guild and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!" badly printed across the front.  On the back is an even worse blotchy impression of the Unseen University.

appraise_text:
The badly printed t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black top hat
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a rather stylish black top hat.  There does, however, seem to be a little more to it.  In softly glowing letters, you make out the message "Fore aye liste of ytems that canne be prodused fromme thyse hatte, juste 'list items'".

appraise_text:
The black top hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of felt and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black trenchcloak
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This long black trenchcloak has been designed by a wizard who has heard of the idea of a trenchcoat, but not how to remain inconspicious.  The basic, brooding design of black leather has been augmented with silvery runes, golden sigils, multicoloured sequins and a multitude of pockets to create a very impressive piece of clothing that unfortunately sticks out like a sore thumb in any covert situations.  The black trenchcloak has four inside pockets.

appraise_text:
The black trenchcloak is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: soft red velvet cloak
weight: 3lb
description:
The thickest and softest of warm red velvet, spangled with golden sequins forming runes of mystic and unguessable power, falls in gentle folds to shroud the wearer's body against any extreme of cold.  Whether by some virtue of the material or from some art and craft of the runes, it seems proof against any bitter or biting wind.  The runes flicker with lambent octarine flame.  The soft red velvet cloak has one inside pocket.

appraise_text:
The soft red velvet cloak is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is red and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: dark hooded cloak
weight: 1lb
description:
The dark silk of this cloak seems utterly lightless, like a bolt of fabric cut with Gapp's own shears from the vasty deep beyond A'Tuin's belly.  The close-fitting rounded hood gives the wearer an air of chilly remoteness, though the single tiny star on their brow - with neither seven points nor nine, and seemingly done in diamond dust - relieves that a little.  Tiny octarine stars glimmer and wink across the surface of the silk.  The dark hooded cloak has two inside pockets.

appraise_text:
The dark hooded cloak is about five feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: hooded snow-silk cloak
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
Made from rare white silk like snow still falling, this cloak is cut to billow and swirl like a Spindlewinter blizzard, showing flashes of the pale silvery lining.  A deep hood edged with white braid casts a map of shadows across the wearer's face, coming to a point on their brow, and two silver clasps shaped like jagged icicles support a delicate, glittering chain of forged snowflakes to hold it closed.  Tiny octarine snowflakes drift in swirls and clumps across the surface of the silk.  The hooded snow-silk cloak has two inside pockets.

appraise_text:
The hooded snow-silk cloak is about five feet long and about two feet wide.  It is snow white and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: monster herring
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a behemoth among herrings, a prize catch for the lucky fisherman who caught it.  It looks like it could feed a reasonably large party.


item_name: red herring
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a bright red herring.  You can't help but feel it has some arcane "use" but you can't think what it is.  Perhaps someone, somewhere needs it and would be very grateful if you gave it to them.  You notice a small insignia of a fish eating its own tail on its underside.


item_name: cured monster kipper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a behemoth among kippers, a prize catch for the lucky fisherman who caught it.  It looks like it could feed a reasonably large party.  It seems to have been pickled.


item_name: blue and silver carp kite
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a large Auriental kite that has been constructed in the shape of a huge blue and silver carp, its mouth gaping open in earnest awe.  Long silver fins are attached to the body and would trail behind it in the wind.  You could probably fly it outside.

appraise_text:
The blue and silver carp kite is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: box kite
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Constructed of balsa and bright red paper, this box shaped kite looks light yet sturdy.  Perhaps you could fly it.

appraise_text:
The box kite is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: red and white striped diamond kite
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a large white Auriental kite, with two red stripes on it.  You could probably fly it somewhere outside.

appraise_text:
The red and white striped diamond kite is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: stone kite
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This kite is actually fairly light.  Created from paper and wood but delicately painted to look dense and heavy, it would look a strange sight flying through the air.

appraise_text:
The stone kite is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: red and gold dragon kite
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a large Auriental kite that has been constructed in the shape of a huge red and gold dragon with two wide-spanned wings which stretch out on either side and trail long banners which flutter back in the wind.  You could probably fly it outside with enough wind.

appraise_text:
The red and gold dragon kite is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: padded slip
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A touch of padding here, a bit of cloth there, combining to make the physique that much more feminine, although it would be hard to be boyish in this sheer white slip.

appraise_text:
The padded slip is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black slip
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
In a light black silk, this slip is nearly transparent.  To preserve some semblance of decency, an orchid curls from the lower hem across the chest, rendering certain areas opaque.

appraise_text:
The black slip is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blue slip
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A slinky under-skirt in sky-blue silk, it translucently covers from the upper chest to the upper thigh, with a braid of deep blue cord running down the left-hand side.

appraise_text:
The blue slip is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: rose slip
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
In a light rose silk, this slip is nearly transparent.  To preserve some semblance of decency, a dark pink flower curls from the lower hem across the chest, rendering certain areas opaque.

appraise_text:
The rose slip is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is light rose and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: porcelain top hatpin
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The long hatpin has a small, round, white, porcelain top.  It is painted with a tiny flower.  It reminds you of Magrat in a strange way.

appraise_text:
The porcelain top hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: glass top hatpin
description: The long, sharp hatpin is adorned with a simple golden faceted tear drop shaped glass at the top.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The glass top hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: womble hatpin
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The long hatpin has a small, round, white, porcelain top.  It is painted with a tiny womble.  It reminds you of Magrat in a strange way.

appraise_text:
The womble hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: brass top hatpin
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The long, sharp hatpin has a top made of brass.  The top is shaped like an eye with a tiny ankhstone gleaming in its centre.

appraise_text:
The brass top hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: long brass hatpin
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a simple brass hatpin, about eight inches long, designed to skewer a hat and hold it safely on the wearer's head.  Of course, the sharp point could be terribly useful when confronted by someone Taking Liberties, too.  This one has been topped with a blue glass knob.

appraise_text:
The long brass hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: red glass top hatpin
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The top of this long hatpin is constructed by an oblong red glass and a rectangular blue one.  It reflects the light softly making this a beautiful hatpin to wear.

appraise_text:
The red glass top hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: long, sharp hatpin
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of the famed batwing hatpins used by proper witches everywhere.  It is made of silver and has an intricately carved ebony bat on the head.

appraise_text:
The long, sharp hatpin is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: model house keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small model house.  It can be used to put keys on.

appraise_text:
It is made of metal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or fifteen items.


item_name: golden circle keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small golden circle.  It can be used to put keys on.

appraise_text:
It is made of metal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or fifteen items.


item_name: model demon keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small model demon.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: crystal ball keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small crystal ball.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: octarine octagon keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small octarine octagon.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: silver star keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small silver star.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: broomstick keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small broomstick.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: silver crescent keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small silver crescent.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: black scarab keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small black scarab.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: model corpse keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small model corpse.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: model of a djinn keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small model of a djinn.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: wooden staff keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small wooden staff.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: tall pointy black hat
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This stern badge of witchy authority is very no-fuss, for the no-frills kind of witch.  It is quite tall and pointy, reinforced on the inside by the standard willow struts, making it adequate protection against anything the inclement Ramtops weather should throw at the wearer.  The tall pointy black hat has one inside pocket.

appraise_text:
The tall pointy black hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of felt and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: glenpictsie hat
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a boat-shaped, martial cap made of black wool.  It feathers a black cock feather pinned on the side with a silver badge.  Black ribbons hang from the back.  It is hard to wear such a cap at anything but a jaunty angle.  The glenpictsie hat has one inside pocket.

appraise_text:
The glenpictsie hat is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or four items.


item_name: black silk pointy hat with a veil
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Although a bit more flimsy perhaps than the traditional witch's pointy headgear, this is nonetheless obviously a witch's hat.  Stitched in black silk over a thin willow frame, it has embroidered on it a black snake winding around the brim and a mysterious black veil that semi-hides the face.  The black silk pointy hat with a veil has one inside pocket.

appraise_text:
The black silk pointy hat with a veil is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: quilting pattern book
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
description:
The cover of this book features a block printed picture of a patchwork quilt overlaid on a rough map of the Lancre Kingdom.  Written in block printed characters: A Lancrastian Quilt.


item_name: spool of [colour] thread
appraise_text: The thread spool is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A wooden spool to hold thread used for embroidery and mending clothes.  It is full of [colour] thread.


item_name: quilting needle
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This needle is made for some heavy-duty work but still has a nice sharp point.  It looks perfect for appliqueing quilt blocks and joining them together but doesn't look useful for much else.

appraise_text:
The quilting needle is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [colour] quilting blocks
description: This quilting block is made from [color] cotton.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The [colour] quilting block is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cotton.


item_name: tree trimmer
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
This is a tree trimmer.  It's an inherently simple device, consisting of two sharp bits of metal and two handles.  When pressure is applied to both handles simultaneously, it cuts stuff.  The wonders of modern technology, eh?

appraise_text:
The tree trimmer is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of oak and iron and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: map of Bes Pelargic plate
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a delightful plate with a beautiful map of Bes Pelargic painted on it with different shades of lacquer.  You can even see where you're standing.  There's a big arrow pointing to it.  There is nothing on the map of Bes Pelargic plate.

appraise_text:
The map of Bes Pelargic plate is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 5 pounds.


item_name: I love Bes Pelargic mug
description: This is an adorable mug emblazoned with a large red heart and the words "I love Bes Pelargic".
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The I love Bes Pelargic mug is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about forty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: Pearl River bowl
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a large bowl that has been lacquered with several competing shades of blue which mirror the ebb and flow of the Pearl River.  It is entirely realistic, and there are even a few drowned rickshaw drivers painted along the bottom.

appraise_text:
The Pearl River bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Bes Pelargian sculpture
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
You feel sure that this is a sculpture of a famous landmark somewhere in Bes Pelargic.  On the other hand, the artist hasn't done a very good job and it might just be a model of a fish.

appraise_text:
The Bes Pelargian sculpture is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: origami paper person
appraise_text: The origami paper person is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of Wun Mystical Bat's most famed creations, an origami paper person.  Just how does he get all those folds in?


item_name: origami paper crane
appraise_text: The origami paper crane is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of Wun Mystical Bat's most famed creations, an origami paper crane.  Just how does he get all those folds in?


item_name: origami paper lotus
appraise_text: The origami paper lotus is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of Wun Mystical Bat's most famed creations, an origami paper lotus.  Just how does he get all those folds in?


item_name: origami paper buffalo
appraise_text: The origami paper buffalo is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of Wun Mystical Bat's most famed creations, an origami paper buffalo.  Just how does he get all those folds in?


item_name: Lord Hong Special
appraise_text: The Lord Hong Special is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of Lord Hong's designs.  It appears he forgot to add a head.  In every other respect it is absolutely perfect.


item_name: set of fake breasts
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A pair of fake breasts.  They have a strap that can be used to place them around your head in a mildly amusing fashion.

appraise_text:
Some fake breasts is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: trick camera [black camera]
appraise_text: The black camera is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of metal.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a black camera with a button on it.  If you press the button on the camera, it will probably take a photo of your immediate surroundings.  Or perhaps not....


item_name: bubble pipe
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This pipe has been lovingly crafted to look as close to a real pipe as possible.  Inside the bowl there is a brown sheen.  It looks like it has some bubble mixture left in it.

appraise_text:
The bubble pipe is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of sapient pearwood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: water-spraying flower [fake flower]
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a fake flower that can be used to squirt people with water to great comic effect.  It seems to contain an endless supply of water, which is strange, as it seems to lack a water holder...

appraise_text:
The fake flower is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: massive diamond
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 22 2/9 lb
description:
This massive diamond is very heavy and carved from a large turnip.  It was bought in a vegetable shop, what did you expect?


item_name: some water chestnuts
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
A second cousin, twice removed (once by magic) of the more familiar Lancre chestnut.  This small round vegetable is almost flavourless except for a lingering waft of water buffalo dung.  These grow in paddy fields beneath water buffalo.


item_name: old jigsaw with a piece missing
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The picture on the box is of a giant turtle swimming through space, but looking at the pieces all you can see are parts of a buffalo standing in a field.

appraise_text:
The old jigsaw with a piece missing is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bale of blue silk
appraise_text: The bale of blue silk is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of silk.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A bale of the finest Agatean silk.  As silky as a baby's bottom.  In fact, no, it's just a mud stain.


item_name: mourner's robe
description: This is a simple robe of heavy cotton. Wearing it shows that you are in deep mourning.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The mourner's robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: door hinge
description: The hinge to a door. Without the door.
weight: 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The door hinge is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: rusty razor blade
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Clearly salvaged from behind the Bes Pelargic barber's sampan, this blade has long outlived its useful life.

appraise_text:
The rusty razor blade is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: loaf of bread
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a loaf of soft, white, homemade bread.  It smells delightful, and is the sort of thing a village child loves to see cooling on the windowsill.  A little butter, and it would be perfect.


item_name: piece of frayed string
description: A piece of frayed string about 8 feet long. The kind used by peasants to tie onto a water buffalo.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The piece of frayed string is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: screwdriver
description: This is a flat bladed screwdriver and would be ideal for screwing screws in.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The screwdriver is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: handful of rice
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: between 12 g and 13 g
special_find_note: From a bag of rice.
description:
This is a small pile of about one handful of the oblong, white, grains that are rice.  It is a staple foodstuff of Agatea.


item_name: [colour] glass nugget
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small sandy brown glass nugget.  Or at least it gives the impression of being sandy brown.  It shimmers ever so slightly, and there's most likely something magical about it.  It emits a slight octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The sandy brown glass nugget is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is sandy brown and is made of glass.


item_name: small rowan orb
appraise_text: The small rowan orb is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of rowan wood.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small, variegated orb of rowan wood.  The surface is smooth and flawlessly transitions from one hue of brown or tan to the next.  It seems perfectly useless, but one never can tell.


item_name: clockwork gear
appraise_text: The clockwork gear is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of octiron.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This clockwork gear is practically perfect in every way.  Except it's no bigger than the head of pin.  It likely has no practical use for any clock of normal size, but perhaps it has other uses.  The most miraculous thing about this gear is that it seems to have been forged from the purest of all octiron.  The surface shimmers in a vibrant rainbow of colour, including the eighth.


item_name: black bin
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
The tall, open-top wooden bin is little more than a large tube with a plain lid to help keep in any odours. Whilst it is highly polished, this is more to aid in keeping it clean as much as for any aesthetic value.  However, it is has been brightened up considerably by the paintings of bottles, fruits and chopsticks around the sides, ensuring it would fit right at home in any kitchen.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The black bin is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: porthole
appraise_text: The porthole is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of glass.
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
This is a moulded brass hoop with a little hinged door made of glass that opens to allow you to smell the fresh sea air when affixed to a boat wall.  Alternatively, it would allow you to see into a boat and hammer on it whilst shouting "LET ME IN, IT'S COLD OUT HERE!".


item_name: impstomatic
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a small, black box, with a lens of glass at the front.  You can see a small imp inside, with a paintbrush and easel.  A small button sits on top of the box, looking ominous.

appraise_text:
The impstomatic is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: practicing rope
appraise_text: The practicing rope is about four feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of cotton.
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a length of rope just long enough to be suitable for practicing various fishing and sailing knots.  Less than a thumb-width thick and rather smooth, it wouldn't seem too difficult to untie it either.


item_name: satsuki azalea bonsai tree
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This stunning tree is enough to take anyone's breath away.  It is in a deep red pot and is surrounded by a soft bed of green moss.  Its trunk sweeps over the side of the pot and reaches far out to the side, dropping ever lower.  It reminds you of a stream meandering gently down a mountainside.  The Azalea's leaves are a deep green and stay that way all year round, currently it has some gorgeous pink blossoms decorating its branches.

appraise_text:
The satsuki azalea bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pine bonsai tree
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This small pine tree has been trained in the formal upright style, one of the hardest to achieve.  Its trunk is perfectly straight, tapering naturally and evenly from the base to the top.  The branches are spaced symmetrically so they are balanced when viewed from any angle.  It grows up from a carpet of soft green moss that hides its roots.  The pine has been planted in a blue ceramic pot that is round and has a pebbly surface.

appraise_text:
The pine bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: elm bonsai tree
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This species of elm is very rare in the Agatean Empire.  Its trunk is large and gnarled at the bottom and takes a series of unexpected twists and turns to end up above where it started.  Its bark is rough and cork-like with cracks and deep fissures that show its age.  The crown of the tree is very full with deep green foliage.  It has been planted in a circular green pot and around the base of the trunk are some large coloured stones.

appraise_text:
The elm bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: fir bonsai tree
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This fir tree is severely stunted.  Unlike the other bonsais that have been trained to grow small, this tree just looks short and stunted.  At the base of the trunk the roots poke out above a shallow layer of dirt to form a grotesque and twisted mass.  The trunk itself climbs awkwardly above the pot where its branches spread out to form a clumsy canopy.  The leaves on the branches are a mixture of reds and greens, like the tree is stuck between seasons.  It rests in a plain, brown pot and as you stand back to get a good look at the plant, the  overall effect is quite pleasing.

appraise_text:
The fir bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: red wedding kimono
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
The choice of brides from distant shores, this traditional kimono is made from heavy silk and features panels of bamboo.  A white crane's head and beak appear on the front near the breast, the body of the crane flows down the back of the kimono.  The neckline is set out from the neck in back and it shows the white neckband of the light, white silk underkimono.  The kimono is secured by a long wide sash of intricately patterned silk brocade that is tied in an elaborate butterfly bow in the back.

appraise_text:
The red wedding kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: volcanic bonsai mountain
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
The most testing form of bonsai, bonsai mountains are tended to mainly by the History Monks and other very, very long-lived persons who don't mind waiting a thousand years to see what happens next.  This particular volcanic mound is still in its infancy, its crest and crater still bubbling away slightly in its core.

appraise_text:
The volcanic bonsai mountain is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: yellow gardenia wedding posy
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a large bunch of yellow gardenias, pale green leaves and long strands of curly golden rattan that have been bound together at the stems with a long length of gold cord.  Perfect for a blushing bride, the gardenias let off a subtle scent that tickles the nose.

appraise_text:
The yellow gardenia wedding posy is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wedding posy of tiger lilies
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Nothing more than a profusion of rust-coloured tiger lilies offset by a few brilliant green leaves that poke out through their petals at rare intervals, this wedding posy has also been dotted with small clusters of beige berries that droop down through the bouquet.

appraise_text:
The wedding posy of tiger lilies is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: tigerwood staff
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Strangely short, it appears more wand than staff, though it does have the telltale knob on the end.  It is highly prized as an ingredient, but was probably not as highly prized as it was by the tiger.

appraise_text:
The tigerwood staff is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of tiger flesh.


item_name: stainless steel dinner fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a plain stainless steel dinner fork that has been that has been crafted in the style used most often in the less prosperous areas of HungHung.  Made of simple stainless steel, the fork looks quite plain and would fit in with a bare dinner table quite nicely.

appraise_text:
The stainless steel dinner fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: stainless steel shrimp fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a plain stainless steel shrimp fork that has been that has been crafted in the style used most often in the less prosperous areas of HungHung.  Made of simple stainless steel, the fork looks quite plain and would fit in with a bare dinner table quite nicely.

appraise_text:
The stainless steel shrimp fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: gold plated knife
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a charming gold plated knife that has been that has been crafted in the style made popular in Sum Dim by the lower class aristocracy.  Long lines trace their way down the heavy handle, making this the sort of practical knife that would sit on the most modest of tables.

appraise_text:
The gold plated knife is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: giant spatula
weight: 8lb
description:
This oversized spatula is over five feet long, with a blade wide enough to serve as a strangely domestic polearm.  Its steel handle is cross-hatched with shallow grooves for a better grip, while its broad steel blade is both heavy and sharpened to a knife's edge.  What cooking could possibly require a spatula this large?

appraise_text:
The giant spatula is about five and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: stainless steel dessert spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a plain stainless steel dessert spoon that has been that has been crafted in the style used most often in the less prosperous areas of HungHung.  Made of simple stainless steel, the spoon looks quite plain and would fit in with a bare dinner table quite nicely.

appraise_text:
The stainless steel dessert spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: sterling silver soup spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely sterling silver soup spoon that has been carefully crafted with gentle lines and curves which ease down its handle.  Elegant and practical, this spoon would look good sitting on most contemporary dinner tables.

appraise_text:
The sterling silver soup spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Marzipan soup spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a silver soup spoon made in the style made popular by the social elite in HungHung.  A liquid-like design makes the spoon seem almost fluid in its elegant refinement.  This is the sort of utensil that would grace only the finest dinner table.

appraise_text:
The Marzipan soup spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: gold plated dessert spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a charming gold plated dessert spoon that has been that has been crafted in the style made popular in Sum Dim by the lower class aristocracy.  Long lines trace their way down the heavy handle, making this the sort of practical dessert spoon that would sit on the most modest of tables.

appraise_text:
The gold plated dessert spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: shiny metal tin
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A tin that shines brightly and appears to be covered in a thin layer of slippery grease.  It appears to have 10 applications left in it.  Written in bold lettering in Agatean:  One Dead Eel's Slippery Oil.  For lubricating pipes, bits, pieces and holes.  To use, just rub onto the bit that isn't slippery enough.

appraise_text:
The shiny metal tin is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: stainless steel soup spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a plain stainless steel soup spoon that has been that has been crafted in the style used most often in the less prosperous areas of HungHung.  Made of simple stainless steel, the spoon looks quite plain and would fit in with a bare dinner table quite nicely.

appraise_text:
The stainless steel soup spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: blackened metal tin
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A tin that was probably once aluminium, but is now blackened and slightly warped, apparently from some kind of internal heat.  It appears to have 10 applications left in it.  Written in faded lettering in Agatean:  Heat Rub(tm).  Sometimes quite tricky to apply, rub on sore muscle, keep away from eyes, mouth and "other".

appraise_text:
The blackened metal tin is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: brown-wrapped tin
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This tin is shrouded in brown paper, as if to conceal the contents from prying eyes.  Plain black lettering rings the entire tin, describing what's inside.  It appears to have 10 applications left in it.  Written in tiny letters in Agatean:  Venerable Old Dame's Mother-Helper.  For best results, apply to the afflicted man.

appraise_text:
The brown-wrapped tin is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: rugged stone box
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A round stone, cut in half and hollowed out, the box contains what appears to be fine gravel in grease.  A label is chiselled into one side, describing the product.  It appears to have 10 applications left in it.  Written in deeply chiselled letters in Agatean: Frum Kaltch!!! Genuwine Djinni Krag slymmink oyl.  Fore mowntens what want two bee molehils.  Rub on belley fore marximum rezult.

appraise_text:
The rugged stone box is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: beautiful cutlery box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a a finely crafted cuttlery box made from a dark wood. The sides are covered in gold scrollwork and the lid is made of fine crystal with a small golden handle shaped like a large pie.  Small ripples of magic wash over it.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The beautiful cutlery box is about six inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: stainless steel salad fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a plain stainless steel salad fork that has been that has been crafted in the style used most often in the less prosperous areas of HungHung.  Made of simple stainless steel, the short fork looks quite plain and would fit in with a bare dinner table quite nicely.

appraise_text:
The stainless steel salad fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: tarnished metal tin
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
The tin is a sickly yellow, filled to the brim with a blackish grease.  The lid has a black drawing of a drooping sunflower on it and there is bold writing on the label.  It appears to have 10 applications left in it.  Written in bold green letters in Agatean:  Fore after thee honnymoon.  Ointment of the Wilting Flower.  Rub liberally onto the plant and watch it collapse under its own weight.

appraise_text:
The tarnished metal tin is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: gold plated salad fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a charming gold plated salad fork that has been that has been crafted in the style made popular in Sum Dim by the lower class aristocracy.  Long lines trace their way down the heavy handle, making this the sort of practical shrimp fork that would sit on modest tables.

appraise_text:
The gold plated salad fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: sterling silver dessert spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely sterling silver dessert spoon that has been carefully crafted with gentle lines and curves which ease down its handle.  Elegant and practical, this spoon would look good sitting on most contemporary dinner tables.

appraise_text:
The sterling silver dessert spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Marzipan salad fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a silver salad fork made in the style made popular by the social elite in HungHung.  A liquid-like design makes the short-pronged fork seem almost fluid in its elegant refinement.  This is the sort of utensil that would grace only the finest dinner table.

appraise_text:
The Marzipan salad fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: gold plated soup spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a charming gold plated soup spoon that has been that has been crafted in the style made popular in Sum Dim by the lower class aristocracy.  Long lines trace their way down the heavy handle, making this the sort of practical soup spoon that would sit on the most modest of tables.

appraise_text:
The gold plated soup spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: gold plated dinner fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a charming gold plated dinner fork that has been that has been crafted in the style made popular in Sum Dim by the lower class aristocracy.  Long lines trace their way down the heavy handle, making this the sort of practical fork that would sit on modest tables.

appraise_text:
The gold plated dinner fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: sterling silver salad fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely sterling silver salad fork that has been carefully crafted with gentle lines and curves which ease down its handle.  Elegant and practical, this fork look good sitting on most contemporary dinner tables.

appraise_text:
The sterling silver salad fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: long white wand
weight: 1lb
description:
You recognise the long white wand to be Skjodor's wand.  This wand is about two and a half feet long and about an inch in diameter, except at one end that has a slight bulge.  The bulge is like a cup, the interior of which is not like a bowl, but is shaped so that a small pyramidal or octahedral shaped crystal could be attached to it.  It glows an intense octarine.

appraise_text:
The long white wand is about two and a half feet long and about an inch wide.  It is white and is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: Marzipan dinner knife
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a silver dinner knife made in the style made popular by the social elite in HungHung.  A liquid-like design makes the knife seem almost fluid in its elegant refinement.  This is the sort of utensil that would grace only the finest dinner table.

appraise_text:
The Marzipan dinner knife is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: sterling silver shrimp fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely sterling silver shrimp fork that has been carefully crafted with gentle lines and curves which ease down its handle.  Elegant and practical, this fork look good sitting on most contemporary dinner tables.

appraise_text:
The sterling silver shrimp fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: yellow wand
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
You recognise the yellow wand to be a wand of garlic breath.  The wand is an eighteen inch piece of wood, of hexagonal cross-section, painted a dull yellow.  It emits a slight octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The yellow wand is about a foot and a half long and about an inch wide.  It is yellow and is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: oak wand
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
You recognise the oak wand to be a wand of healing.  This is a small limb from an oak tree.  It even has one or two leaves still attached.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The oak wand is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: short wand
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
You recognise the short wand to be a wand of magic detection.  This is a piece of hazel about seven inches long that tapers from one end to another.  The flat ends have been inscribed with blue octograms.  It emits a slight octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The short wand is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: charred wand
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
You recognise the charred wand to be a wand of infestation cleansing.  This is a thinnish piece of wood, about two feet long, which has been charred at various points along its length.  It still seems quite sturdy, though.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The charred wand is about two feet long and about an inch wide.  It is charcoal black and is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: grey wand
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
You recognise the grey wand to be a wand of anima gauging.  The wand is a foot long piece of wood that bulges and constricts along its length like a roughly rolled sausage of grey dough.  The surface is very smooth, though, almost slick.

appraise_text:
The grey wand is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: thin stick
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
You recognise the thin stick to be a wand of artifact probing.  This is a small stick, a couple of feet long, that has been roughly scraped clean of bark.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The thin stick is about two feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: pine wand
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
You recognise the pine wand to be a wand of striking.  The wand is a smooth piece of pine, about two feet long, which tapers slightly from one end to the other.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The pine wand is about two feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: gold plated shrimp fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a charming gold plated shrimp fork that has been crafted in the style made popular in Sum Dim by the lower class aristocracy.  Long lines trace their way down the heavy handle, making this the sort of practical shrimp fork that would sit on modest tables.

appraise_text:
The gold plated shrimp fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: Marzipan dessert spoon
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a silver dessert spoon made in the style made popular by the social elite in HungHung.  A liquid-like design makes the spoon seem almost fluid in its elegant refinement.  This is the sort of utensil that would grace only the finest dinner table.

appraise_text:
The Marzipan dessert spoon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Marzipan shrimp fork
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a silver shrimp fork made in the style made popular by the social elite in HungHung.  A liquid-like design makes the short-pronged fork seem almost fluid in its elegant refinement.  This is the sort of utensil that would grace only the finest dinner table.

appraise_text:
The Marzipan shrimp fork is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: ivory-faced watch
appraise_text: It is made of ivory and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate, simple, and elegant wristwatch attached to a slender white leather strap.  The face of the watch has been placed on a circle of ivory, with each of the numbers on it carved out of a minuscule piece of ebony.  The current time displayed is: 11:28am, Thursday 24th Grune Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: vintage verge watch
appraise_text: It is made of some unidentifiable material and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful silver verge watch, a type of pocket watch popular among the higher classes.  A wide full plate of fire-gilt verge moves across Howandalandish pillars to reveal the face of the clock.  Pierced, engraved and scored deeply with scrollwork, the verge watch hangs from a short silver chain that would attach to a blazer.  The current time displayed is: 11:28am, Thursday 24th Grune Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: leather waistcoat
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A specially designed leather waistcoat for the discerning and style-conscious bat.  It is soft and supple, almost like a second skin (probably because it is made of bat skin).

appraise_text:
The leather waistcoat is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: ebony-faced watch
appraise_text: It is made of wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a simple and masculine wristwatch attached to a thick black leather strap.  The face of the watch has been placed on a circle of ebony, with each of the numbers on it carved out of a minuscule piece of ivory.  The current time displayed is: 11:28am, Thursday 24th Grune Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: pink furry wing cosy
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This wing cosy is designed to keep wings warm and toasty and protected from the elements, like a giant pair of wing-shaped mittens.  It is made of fur plucked from a fluffy little bat body, so it will be soft and snuggly, and has been dyed a very pretty shade of pink.

appraise_text:
The pink furry wing cosy is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Say Ko watch
appraise_text: It is made of metal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a genuine Say Ko watch.  Mass produced in Sum Dim, nearly every wrist in the Empire has seen a Say Ko at one time or another, but nevertheless they still prove to be quite popular, especially among the younger generations.  The face of this one is ringed with gold and something that slightly resembles silver.  It is bound to the wrist by a water buffalo leather strap.  The current time displayed is: 11:27am, Thursday 24th Grune Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: valley bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of lacquer and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
The dark green lacquer bracelet is carved in the shape of a river valley between two rolling hills.  It is overshadowed by thin wispy clouds and drops down to a bottom so deep that sunlight might never reach it.  It appears that the artist visited the Ramtops at some point.


item_name: silver labret
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A slim metal wire with a shiny bulb.  The wire bit slips through a hole below your bottom lip leaving the bulb pointing out as a facial adornment.


item_name: blue crystal earring
appraise_text: It is made of platinum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
Wrought from fine filigree platinum, this diamond shaped earring dangles elegantly from the wearer's lobes.  Delicate weaves of platinum fashion flower shapes in the centres of the diamonds while the point leads to tear drop briolettes of shimmering blue-green crystal which ripples as the colour wash over it; sometimes green agate, sometimes blue quartz.


item_name: ornate fruitbat brush
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This cute little brush appears to be made of bone.  It has dark black bristles which remind you of thick, bushy eyebrows.  It would be perfect for brushing, grooming or combing out knots and burrs from a fluffy critter's fur.

appraise_text:
The ornate fruitbat brush is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: gold handled axe
weight: 6 1/9 lb
description:
The most obvious feature of this two-handed axe is its handle.  It bears a pattern similar to the scales of a snake and is coated with gold.  Corroded into the steel of the blade are some runes which probably have been picked because they look pretty.

appraise_text:
The gold handled axe is about three and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a deep turquoise blue fan with an iridescent blue, green and purple peacock design.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: scarlet dragon and phoenix fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a vibrant scarlet fan painted with a golden dragon and phoenix, symbolising good luck and harmony.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The scarlet dragon and phoenix fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: very big fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is an enormous pink fan, decorated with little red hearts and the message: I'm Your Biggest Fan.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The very big fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: green bluebird fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a bright green fan with yellow bluebirds all over it.  At least, you think they're meant to be bluebirds.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The green bluebird fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: purple fish fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This fan is a deep violet with a pattern of silver and gold carp.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The purple fish fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: white tiger fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a large white fan decorated with a beautiful ink drawing of a tiger.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The white tiger fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: imp-driven fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is basically a box with a little propeller on top.  Through the airholes in the box you can see a disgruntled imp with its feet strapped to a tiny set of pedals.

appraise_text:
The imp-driven fan is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: black dragon fan
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a large black fan painted with a silver Auriental dragon design.  It is presently open, in full splendour.

appraise_text:
The black dragon fan is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: gumbo pot
weight: 6 1/9 lb
description:
This is a tall, straight-sided metal pot.  It looks like you could make quite a lot of gumbo in it, or boil a mess of crawfish.

appraise_text:
The gumbo pot is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: cigar baklava
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a rich, heavy pastry in the form of a rolled log of thin pastry, filled with a mix of ground almond, cinnamon, butter, sugar and a tempting array of spices.  It is soaked in a formidable syrup based primarily around sugar and lemon, and looks like it would be hard going to get through in one sitting.


item_name: sugared frittole
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A Brindisian delicacy, this sweet ricotta dumpling is lightly flavoured with lemon zest, then deep fried like a dough-nut, brushed over with icing sugar after cooling.


item_name: some lemon thyme
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small pile of lemon thyme, about one stalk.  Lemon thyme is a pretty little plant, with small, pointed, green leaves with a lighter streak down the middle.  The taste is like that of thyme, but with a hint of lemon.


item_name: roll of extra-hard cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Years of maturing have given this cheese an exceptionally hard and brittle texture, not to mention an eye-wateringly potent smell.  The golden-brown cheese has an equally sharp taste, best appreciated in fine slivers.  The washed rind has absorbed a secret recipe of wine and herbs; definitely one for the connoisseurs.


item_name: delicate cream-filled cannolo
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A shell of deep-friend pastry dough rolled into a finger-length log, filled with rich patisserie cream and sprinkled with icing sugar, the cannolo is just one of the tricks your average Brindisian nonna has up her sleeve for controlling her many descendants.


item_name: wedge of pepper and herb cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
Speckled green and black, the flesh of this cheese has been seasoned with tarragon, parsley and pepper, giving it a spicy taste and yeasty aroma.  The soft and slightly sticky flesh is encased in a smooth, terracotta-coloured washed rind.


item_name: ball of smoked Llamedos
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
When whole, this several pound ball of cheese is enclosed in a waxy crimson rind, resembling a giant holly berry.  The moderately strong, nutty flavour has been accentuated by smoking, giving the slightly rubbery flesh a rich wooden taste.


item_name: wheel of brown whey cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Cheeses made from whey, the watery part of curdled milk, are few and far between.  This example has had milk sugar and cream added to it, giving it a soft texture and rich brown colour.  Although mild, the flavour is a rather distinct departure from curd-based cheese.


item_name: block of blue-veined Quirm
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
An acquired taste, blue-veined Quirm has the ability to turn many people away by looks alone.  Pale yellow, almost to the point of white, and veined with streaks of bluey-green, this cheese is very soft and pungent smelling.  Those brave enough to try it discover a sharp, tangy flavour.


item_name: block of folded mint cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Torn mint leaves speckle this rectangular block of rich yellow cheese.  The mint gives a pleasantly refreshing taste to the firm texture of the folded cheese.  Aromatically, the mint also plays a part - this cheese smells delicious.


item_name: block of cheddar cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This simple yellow block of cheddar is the start and end of cheese for many.  With a smooth milky flavour and firm texture, cheddar is truly a cheese of the people.  This specimen has been well matured, giving it a firmer feel and sharper taste.


item_name: wheel of Old Morpork cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
The hard, thin, golden rind of this cheese has been embossed with the texture of the cloth it matured in.  Several days' curds are used to give the cheese a mottled texture and sharp, peppery flavour.


item_name: bright yellow carrot
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than 1 g
description:
Looking vaguely like a turnip, the carrot is a bit darker and brighter than that vegetable, being of the variety daucus auria, or "golden metaphor".


item_name: swamp mushroom
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a tiny, black mushroom, collected from the southern side of a tree at midnight in the deepest Genuan swampland.  It gives off a slightly stomach churning aroma, making it somewhat unappetising.


item_name: piece of clang
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Taking clang has been described as akin to playing Borogravian roulette with five loaded crossbows to the head.  But, such is the constant appeal of mind-numbing substance abuse amongst the Genuan aristocracy, eager for their next sojourn into the wicked wiles of depravity, that the little tablets continue to find a ready market in the Diamond City.  Just remember to cancel your appointments for the next few days, or perhaps indefinitely, before consumption.


item_name: luscious dark red tomato
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Unlike the hard, tasteless things you get elsewhere, with colourless flesh and skin like parchment, this is the real thing: Brindisians know their tomatoes, and this is one of them, juicy, rich and dark.


item_name: some lentils
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a a small pile of small round reddish-brown beans, about one handful.  They positively radiate with protein.


item_name: rough bowl
description: This is a rough pottery bowl, unglazed, purely utilitarian and easily replaceable.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The rough bowl is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 3 pounds.


item_name: bowl of lentils
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a rough pottery bowl, unglazed, purely utilitarian and easily replaceable.  In the rough bowl is some lentils.

appraise_text:
The rough bowl is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 3 pounds.


item_name: doll
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a wooden creator doll, expertly shaped to look like Carmine.  The likeness is stunning, with every feature expertly carved into the body of the doll.  One has to wonder if the subject was consulted in the creation of the doll... it's difficult to believe it could have been done from recollection, but likewise it's quite difficult to imagine Carmine posing for its creation.

appraise_text:
The doll is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: large olive
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a large olive with a purple-green skin.  It has a rich taste, a thick pulp, and of course an annoying stone.


item_name: simple wooden whistle
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a simple wooden whistle, about two inches long.  It has been hand-carved and then sanded to perfection to ensure no rogue splinters end up piercing the user's lips... a most considerate gesture.

appraise_text:
The wooden whistle is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pellet of honk
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Honk is a curious concoction, stilled from strange spices to be found only in the arid wastes of the Great Nef.  Much favoured by the desert tribes for its remarkable capacity to counteract the worst effects of strong Klatchian Coffee, it has however the unfortunate side-effect of its rolled pellets appearing to all intents to be nothing more than a natural by-product of the domesticated rabbit.


item_name: small wheel of Genuan brie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This delicate portion of cheese is covered by a downy and edible white rind, giving it an elegant appearance.  The flesh is straw yellow and soft, almost bursting with a decadently rich and fruity flavour perfect for desserts.  This cheese is popular in Genua, where it is usually made.


item_name: large grey mushroom
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This fat, brownish-grey mushroom is not the sort that would grow in fairy rings, being decidedly too squat and jolly for dainty, haughty pretties.


item_name: pair of squirrel leather boots
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
These are a pair of squirrel leather boots.  Much care has been taken to preserve the warm winter pelts of the squirrel so that the inside of the boot is warm.  The outside is a dark gold from the tanning process.  Hand stitching marks these boots as homemade.

appraise_text:
The pair of squirrel leather boots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: washboard with wringer attachment
weight: 44 4/9 lb
description:
This olde-worlde washing contraption, consisting of a board with a corrugated metal surface and two heavy rollers through which clothes can be passed for drying, would have made Heath Robinson proud.

appraise_text:
The washboard with wringer attachment is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and iron and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [adjective] [colour] robe [Genuan]
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is an attractive, [colour] robe made from a fine material that is commonly seen amongst the wealthy merchants and tradesmen of Genua.  The [adjective] [colour] robe has one handy pocket.

appraise_text:
The [adjective] [colour] robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cloth and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: pair of [colour] [material] panties [regal]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of pink satin regal panties.  They are cut high up on the thigh, with ruffles of satin that cascade in pleats from the waist.  It's enough to make someone want to get down on their knees and pledge allegiance.

appraise_text:
The pair of pink satin panties is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] [material] chemise [two-tone]
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a two-tone chemise made of satin.  The trim and straps of the chemise are a light pink, set against the main body which is a darker pink.  The two colours complement each other nicely to create a very attractive piece of stylish lingerie.

appraise_text:
The pink satin chemise is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is pink and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] [material] corset [strapless]
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely black corset made of satin.  It has black lace piping along the seams, and a floral motif stitched into the satin.  The corset is strapless, and has black lacing up along the front and along the fringes of the satin.  It looks very alluring.

appraise_text:
The black satin corset is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] [material] bra [full cup]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a full-cup bra of leopard-skin leather.  The cups cover even the largest of breasts, allowing for a degree of modesty that is somewhat at odds with the seductive nature of the design.  A most paradoxical piece of lingerie.

appraise_text:
The leopard-skin leather bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is leopard-skin and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [pattern or colour] party beret
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a floppy beret that, oddly, is covered in soft paisley sunset orange faux fur.  It feels a little heavier than it should be, as if something was hidden inside.  Sitting on its front is a small golden vulture badge and trailing out from its back is a bobble on a short string that could be pulled.

appraise_text:
The paisley sunset orange party beret is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is sunset orange and is made of fur and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: prawns onna stick
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Lightly cooked prawns, speared onto a wooden spike, and served in the style of a shish-kebab.  The prawns look tasty and delicious, and undoubtedly will ease any rumbling pains in your stomach that may be threatening to rip you in twain.


item_name: frog's legs onna stick
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Expertly dissected from rather annoyed frogs, marinated in a fine prawn sauce for a few hours, then heated in an oven to provide a tasty amphibian treat that no one, except the queasy of stomach, could ever possibly say no to.


item_name: alligator sandwich
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is an alligator sandwich, which was served very quickly indeed.  Alligator meat is a favourite of the Genuans.  It is thick, easily available, and surprisingly tasty.  It tastes a bit like chicken, in fact.


item_name: snake head sandwich
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Snake head is a type of plant that grows quite commonly in the swamps of Genua.  It is tasty, nutritious, and healthy, and, as you can imagine, it is certainly a popular ingredient for many Genuan meals.  This sandwich, however, is actually made from real snake heads, skull included.  It's more than a little crunchy, and that's not just the bread.


item_name: twig of neverba
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Twigs of neverba look somewhat like a miniature of the bush they are plucked from.  The tiny red leaves which sprout from this twig are flecked around the edges with red and purple, giving it an almost festive appearance.  It smells faintly, giving off an odour faintly reminiscent of clean, fresh grass.


item_name: argula leaf
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a long, wide leaf of argula.  It looks somewhat like a green puddle that someone has stepped in, but has a clean, fresh aroma, giving the impression that this is one vegetable that would be welcome in any good meal.


item_name: leaf of boldot
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Boldot can only be collected in the light of a full moon, while the collector is being bitten to death by frenzied poisonous snakes.  As such, it is a very rare and expensive delicacy used only for special occasions.  This leaf is broad and five pronged, with a deep, vibrant red colour interspersed with blotches of dark green and gives off a smell which brings to mind screaming and panic in a peaceful herb garden.


item_name: attamno flower
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small, brightly coloured flower from the attamno plant.  Eight delicate petals stem from its thin green stalk, and surround a blob of red and orange in the centre of the bud.  While innocent looking enough, attamno is said to have dire effects when not cooked correctly.


item_name: sprig of eztope
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small sprig of eztope, collected from the deepest reaches of the Genuan swampland.  It is greyish brown in colour, comprised mostly of tiny tufts and fluffy bulbs.  The smell which wafts from this herb conjures up images of soggy wetlands and misty swamps.


item_name: shrimp
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a succulent looking shrimp, its little legs hanging uselessly by its side.  Like much of the marine life around Genua, shrimps are prized for their full-flavoured contribution to a fine meal.


item_name: lobster
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a full-bodied lobster, whole and intact.  While the idea of eating a raw lobster doesn't appeal to many people, even Genuans, a cooked lobster has a certain something in terms of flavour that even those who keep them as pets find it possible to put aside the tears for long enough to spread butter on their tasty meat.


item_name: crawfish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Crawfish are little red crustaceans that resemble lobsters in a number of ways, except in size.  They are highly regarded as delicious, which is a survival technique that puts them alongside the Counting Pines as experts in natural selection.


item_name: clump of kelp
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Made from dried seaweed, kelp tastes much as one would expect - chewy and salty.  It is often used in salads and in squishi dishes.


item_name: rice cake
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a flat round biscuit type of thing.  It's made of that delicious puffed rice which is like packing chips, but with less nutritional value or taste.


item_name: alligator tooth necklace
appraise_text: It is made of leather and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Polished white alligator teeth have been strung together on a tough leather cord to create this fierce necklace.  Each shiny tooth is still quite sharp, and looks ready to jab unprotected skin.


item_name: stuffed alligator
weight: 20lb
description:
One of the essential items that indicates that a home belongs to a wizard, this is an amused-looking stuffed alligator.  While it is not the most impressive example of its species, and its scales are a little faded, it fulfills its role more than adequately, offering a toothy smile to any visitors.

appraise_text:
The stuffed alligator is about six feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of leather and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: alligator steak
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A fine fillet of alligator steak, thick with meat and thoroughly flavourful.  Alligator steak is a popular dish in Genua, the taste being somewhat similar to chicken.  Of course, that can be said of so many meats, but perhaps that's because the otherwise exotic nature of the animal itself underwhelms the senses when the meat is actually sampled.


item_name: grain of rice
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small pile of about one grain of the oblong, white, grains that are rice.  It is a staple foodstuff of Agatea.


item_name: ripe red raspberry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This little red raspberry is plump and ripe, just ready for eating.  How you wish you had some custard!


item_name: pork and alligator sausage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a tasty alligator and pork sausage, made from ground alligator meat combined with fine cuts of pork, all seasoned with hickory and inserted into a 100% natural sausage casing for leisurely consumption.  Yum!


item_name: serving of ribs
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
These are ribs.  What animal they come from is not of any interest.  Really.  They are quite a lot smaller than the real Pork Ribs that you can get in the posh restaurants in any case.


item_name: statue of an imp with bow and arrow
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Carved from finest marble, this is a small statue of a pot-bellied imp, replete with wings, holding a bow and arrow in its hands.  The imp seems delicately poised on one tiptoe, its remaining leg kicking back in dramatic poise, in the way that pot-bellied imps carrying little bows and arrows are wont to do.

appraise_text:
The statue of an imp with bow and arrow is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: carved stone bench
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
A beautifully carved bench, crafted from the finest of white marble, this would be the perfect accompaniment to any garden.  Images of dragons loop and swirl, as they chase their sinuous tails in a perfect mirrored pattern that runs the length of the bench, whilst the arms and legs seem crafted into the claws and feet of such mighty beasts of lore.  Just the place to while away an afternoon with your head in the clouds.

appraise_text:
The carved stone bench is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small frog statue
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Carved of finest white marble, this is a beautifully lifelike rendition of a frog, sitting astride a lilypad.  One could almost fathom its eyes were about to blink, or it were about to leap away with one mighty bound of its hind legs.

appraise_text:
The small frog statue is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sidesword
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
This cut-and-thrust sword seems to be something of a compromise between a rapier and a traditional cutting sword.  It has a rather narrow blade, but wider in profile and thinner in cross-section than a rapier to preserve its cutting ability.  It has a complex hilt, with forward- and back-swept quillons and a knucklebow, and finger rings alongside the ricasso.  If a long sword is too old-fashioned or uncivilised, but a rapier too frilly and fancy, this might be the sword for you.

appraise_text:
The sidesword is about three and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: falchion
weight: 5lb
description:
The blade of this ornate yet savage looking short sword is long and thick, broadening from the hilt before tapering into a sharp, wicked looking point.  Fancy scrollwork traces intricate, silvery lines up and down the blade and hilt, which is made of a fine hard redwood.  This weapon is clearly designed for hacking at one's enemies, and made for the discerning gentleman hacker.

appraise_text:
The falchion is about three feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: mahogany cane
weight: 4lb
description:
This is a short, elegant walking stick carved from fine mahogany from the jungles of Muntab.  It tapers smoothly from the handle end, which is capped with a smooth, round mahogany knob, to its tip, which is capped with a brass ferrule.  There is a brass fitting just below the knob, in which there is a button that one could push.

appraise_text:
The mahogany cane is about three feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: cavalry sabre
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This is a light cavalry sabre.  It is made of high-grade steel and has a flat, slightly curved blade, primarily designed for cutting strokes, but also well-suited for powerful thrusts.  A guard of curved brass bars encloses the wielder's hand.  Not the most elegant of weapons, but preferred by some officers nevertheless.

appraise_text:
The cavalry sabre is about four feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: voodoo rattle stick
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
Voodoo rattle sticks are long wooden sticks topped with hollow masks representing local voodoo deities.  The masks are painted in a particular colour to represent a strength of the stick in working beneficial voodoo magic.  This particular stick is coloured yellow to represent strength in wealth magics.

appraise_text:
The voodoo rattle stick is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: gris-gris necklace
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This necklace is a simple silk cord upon which is hung a silk red bag containing a number of strange and exotic components.  Gris-gris bags are part of the culture of Genua, and are highly regarded as voodoo talismans that ward off bad while attracting the good luck.  Whether they actually work however is largely believed to be a matter of faith.  Doubt in them, and your doubts will jinx the magic.  Believe, however, and you will see the true power of the gris-gris bags working for you.

appraise_text:
The gris-gris necklace is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blue tooth earring
appraise_text: It is made of bone and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This is a large, sharp tooth - presumably yanked from the mouth of some dangerous predator.  For some reason, perhaps illness of its previous owner or exposure to high thaumic fields, it has taken on a vibrant blue colour.


item_name: voodoo bead necklace
appraise_text: It is made of ivory and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This necklace is composed of brightly coloured beads of yellow, green, blue and red.  Strange little humanoid figures of bone have been woven onto the chain at regular intervals, their bodies painted in the same bright colours as the beads themselves.


item_name: leather charm bracelet
weight: 25 g
description:
This is a thin leather strap with a couple of metal rings and a drawstring to tighten it around your wrist.

appraise_text:
It is made of leather and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: Llamedese woollen tunic
weight: 1lb
description:
A cerulean woollen tunic of Llamedese design, its sleeves decorated by patterned swirls and mystic looking sigils.  The Llamedese woollen tunic has one handy pocket.

appraise_text:
The Llamedese woollen tunic is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: cracked and bleached skull
weight: 3 8/9 lb
description:
This is a skull, seemingly from a human, or at least human sized humanoid.  It is a bright, almost dazzling white, as if it had been bleached.  There are a few cracks along the scalp and jaw, suggesting that either the poor original owner had some nasty accidents in life, or that the skull has been dropped more times than an expensive crystal drinking-glass at a friend's dinner party.

appraise_text:
The cracked and bleached skull is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of bone.


item_name: monkey nose
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Monkey noses are dissected from fresh monkeys and stored until they can be used in an appropriate magical ceremony or used as a sandwich filling.


item_name: coffin nail
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a nine inch long nail of iron.  Just the kind of thing for tightly securing a coffin so that whoever has been laid to rest inside is incapable of escaping except by clawing the wood from the casket. 

appraise_text:
The coffin nail is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of iron and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: urn
description: A small urn, suitable for storing the ashes of the deceased. It is open.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The urn is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: dragon harp
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
Carved from finest oak, the wood crafted into the shape of a sinuous dragon taken to flight, this harp is a marvel to behold.  Of Llamedese craftmanship, just a touch of the strings is enough to melt the coldest of hearts.  Any bard would be proud to hold such a wondrous instrument.

appraise_text:
The dragon harp is about two feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of oak and appears to be a musical instrument from the stringed family.


item_name: chicken foot
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Expertly extracted from a chicken, these tasty snacks are valuable and powerful components in many voodoo rituals.  They are also low in calories and provide fifty percent of your daily fibre requirements.


item_name: red pepper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small, red pepper, used to add flavour to meals of all kinds.  It has a small twig still hanging from its thicker end, and that combined with a healthy colour and enticing earthy smell gives the impression that this vegetable is right from the patch.


item_name: recital harp
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This glossy harp is curved like a maiden's sigh, and stained a deep, reflective black, perfect for highlighting a bard's gaudy festival attire.

appraise_text:
The recital harp is about two feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and appears to be a musical instrument from the stringed family.


item_name: green pepper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small, green pepper with a small brown stalk still attached to its thicker top end.  The light reflecting from its skin combined with a fresh, earthy aroma gives the impression that this would add just the right zest to any meal.


item_name: okra pod
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This long, green vegetable is around an inch wide at its thickest end, and tapers down in a crescent shape to a round point.  Okra seed pods such as this are used in soups, stews and are wonderful boiled.  This one in particular looks to be bursting with freshness and flavour.


item_name: large watermelon
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 21 1/9 lb
description:
The crisp skin of this watermelon is striped in different shades of green.  It is rather large - if you brought it along to a picnic, it would fill the entire basket.


item_name: Lancrastrian lettuce
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The leaves of this fresh lettuce are long and crisp with a ridge running up the middle to the end.  The leaves are grouped into a few loose bunches around the middle of the lettuce, and all of them look green, healthy and delicious.  Clearly the long trip from the fields of Lancre has not spoiled this delicious vegetable.


item_name: shoot of Genuan pepper grass
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small, green shoot of Genuan pepper grass, with a thick, white stem and a longer, green leafy section which grows from it.  Used in all manner of meals from salads to gumbo, this shoot oozes freshness and healthy flavour.


item_name: swamphead
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a young, green, healthy swamphead.  Swampheads are the immature leaves of a rare plant which lives only out in the deepest swamplands, and hence this delicate green vegetable is a rare and delicious treat for anyone making a meal to impress.


item_name: some sorrel
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small pile of sorrel, about one stalk.  Sorrel is a plant covered in thin leaves which are a healthy green hue above and are somewhat purple underneath.  The leaves are folded along the middle and all exude the healthy, pleasant aroma of a fresh vegetable crop.


item_name: cherry wood jewellery box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small cherry wood box is designed for the sole purpose of giving away jewellery.  The dark red wood has been polished to a sheen so bright that if you look carefully you can see your own reflection.  The inside of the box is lined with soft, dark blue velvet and in the centre of the box is a small altar with two hooks, on which to present the jewellery.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The cherry wood jewellery box is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: small grape
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If you could collect thousands of these, stomp on them for days, and leave them to rot till they went fizzy, you might be able to make champagne, but I doubt it.


item_name: silver flask
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small oblong flask wrought from shining silver.  Intricate scrollwork has been etched into the surface, tracing out a design that seems the peak of abstraction.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The silver flask is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: midnight black candle
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This candle is a deep shade of black, with little points of white speckling its surface.  It is probably intended for use in some foul sorcerous incantation - either that, or for some rebellious teenager whose sense of style has failed to develop.  Much the same thing, really.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The midnight black candle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: ornate green candle
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Thin strands of gold and silver coloured wax trickle through the otherwise pure green of this thin, ornate candle, breaking up the colours to draw the eye up and down the candle's stem.  The wick is a darker green and sticks out from the top of the stem, completing the expertly crafted piece.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The ornate green candle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: swirling candle
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This candle is a bewildering mass of swirling colours, the blues, greens and reds blending into one another and flowing all the way down the wax stem to draw the eye around and around the different patterns.  It looks expensive, and probably not the sort of thing you would want to actually burn.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The swirling candle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: genuan knight marionette
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The light glints and shimmers off the miniature steel armour in which this perfect marionette of a Genuan knight is dressed, going well with the exquisitely replicated sword in his gauntletted hand be as threatening as a two-foot tall puppet can be.  A thin, near-invisible string snakes out from a carved wooden handle to each of his hands, feet, and his head which looks to be used to make him perform whatever actions you would wish.  He looks quite fun to play with if you were the sort of person who enjoyed making puppets wave their swords about.

appraise_text:
The genuan knight marionette is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: genuan duellist marionette
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Standing two feet high, this marionette exudes an aura of condescension and upper-class toff, being a well-crafted replica of a young Genuan duellist.  He is dressed in a black velvet waistcoat and black silk pants, both overflowing with frills and lace, and holds his porcelain nose high in the air as though looking down on any commoners he may have the misfortune to pass.  In one hand he holds a small, needle-like epee with which to duel against any two-foot tall enemies that may insult his manhood, and his hands, feet and head are connected to fine strings that meet in a carved handle to control his movements.  He looks well made and fun to play with.

appraise_text:
The genuan duellist marionette is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: cuddly squirrel toy
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This small, cute little fellow is covered in soft, pristine brown fur.  He has a small black button nose and black patches over each eye, which seem to look around himself with interest.  Sprouting from behind him is a huge, bushy tail with grey rings through the brown fur that stands at a jaunty angle that helps bring the entire toy to life.  A small silver key pokes out of his back, just visible through the fur.

appraise_text:
The cuddly squirrel toy is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Nac Mac Feegle doll
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This six inch tall bundle of animosity is a replica of a fearsome Nac Mac Feegle warrior, built exactly to a 1:1 scale.  His blue face is contorted into a mask of bellicose aggression, while a shock of startling orange hair seems engaged in a war for control over the face against a set of bushy orange sideburns.  His eyes, though made of glass, seem to peer out from under his thick eyebrows to search out victims to hack into pieces with the (proportionally) large sword he carries in one hand, and the small trickle of drool that seeps from his toothy grin lends him that extra air of authentic psychosis to delight any excitable young child.

appraise_text:
The Nac Mac Feegle doll is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: thick purple candle
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This expertly crafted candle is made of the finest wax coloured a deep, rich purple.  Veins of black, red and pink run all the way through its thick length, and the wick on the top is of the purest white.  It is clearly designed to be seen, rather than to be burned.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The thick purple candle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: dancing frog
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small piece of green candy, intricately shaped into the form of a frog.  His top hat and cane are easily identifiable, and the merry jig he is dancing comes to life in the hard candy, making this a somewhat amusing piece of food.


item_name: peppermint surprise
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small lump of rich, dark chocolate.  From one side seeps a dark greenish caramel-like goo, and the whole thing smells faintly fresh and minty.  It has clearly been made by an expert, and looks tantalisingly delicious.


item_name: speckled fudgeball
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A colourful layer of white and dark chocolate covers this soft, tasty-looking ball of fudge, promising delicious adventures within.  The powdery chocolate covering makes it look like a small snowflake, and is clearly a sign of a master confectioner at work.


item_name: toy mardi-gras float
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a small, colourful and almost perfect replica of the sort of floats used in the Genuan mardi-gras celebrations.  On the front of the contraption is a ruddy pink face wearing a brightly coloured hat with several limbs bouncing off the top, each one sporting a silver bell.  The bright colours of the face and hat seem to flow down to the float itself, where a myriad of blues, pinks and greens mix together into a whirlpool of hue, creating a strange mixture of colour that swirls all over the body of the float.  Behind the head sit a few small, perfectly carved wooden people, each wearing a different outlandish costume, and all looking improbably jolly.  The wheels are held on with tiny, perfect bearings, and turn independently of one another flashing more colour around.  It is an expertly crafted toy, and looks very fun to play with!

appraise_text:
The toy mardi-gras float is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: colourful fool marionette
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a well made, expensive looking marionette of a member of the fools guild in full costume.  He stands at around two feet tall and is wearing a large, brightly coloured hat with eight bells, each of which hangs off one of the hat's floppy limbs.  He holds a large fish in one hand and a cream pie in the other, and his head sports two large ears sticking out at an absurd angle to his face, which is dominated by a large, fleshy red nose and ruddy cheeks.  His coat and trousers are a few sizes too large, and hang off him in a way designed to be amusing.  He is a riot of patchwork colour, every part of his clothing and perfectly painted face and hands covered in bright splashes of hue that would delight any young child.  A fine, almost invisible string comes out of each of his hands, feet, and head and connects to a wooden handle which looks as though it would be fun to play with.

appraise_text:
The colourful fool marionette is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: cream coloured candle
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This candle is made of around six inches of unblemished, creamy wax, topped with a small, black wick.  It was clearly made to be seen by one's wealthy and pretentious guests, rather than to actually make light.

appraise_text:
The cream coloured candle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: chewy absinthe bottle
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a chewy confectionary shaped into the style of a bottle of absinthe.  There is a liquidic substance within the gum of the bottle itself.


item_name: chocolate cent
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3 g
description:
This is a circle of chocolate, the exact size of a normal Genuan cent.  The details of Ella Saturday's head have been picked out on one side in white chocolate, and a representation of the city's palace has been picked out on the other.


item_name: Genuan chocolate egg
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Made from an exquisite combination of milk and white chocolate, each Genuan chocolate egg contains a little toy that is sure to be a delight to any lucky boy or girl who is so deprived of entertainment they will play with poor quality freebie toys that have been fished from someone's mouth.


item_name: nutloaf
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This squarish loaf of golden brown bread is topped with a smattering of different spices, as well as a layer of nut shards.  It looks expertly made, and very tasty.


item_name: pepperloaf
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a thin, sausage-shaped loaf of bread sprinkled with a variety of different spices and cracked peppers with a faint, sharp aroma.  It looks heavenly and smells even better.


item_name: herb pullapart
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a large, square chunk of well-cooked bread absolutely smothered in a delicious array of herbs, spices and nuts.  It smells like a culinary party, and has clearly been made by a very skilled baker.


item_name: loaf of carrot bread
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a thick loaf of orange coloured bread, with a thin layer of carrot shavings around the crust.  It looks thick and easy to get your teeth into, and altogether yummy.


item_name: jammy dodger
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a round, double-layered biscuit with some squidgy jam in the middle.  The top of the biscuit has a heart on it so you can see the ruby red jam and because you know you're just going to love it.  Mmm, gooey stretchy raspberry jam between two shortcake biscuits.  Could you think of anything better?  You somehow know that the best way to eat them is nibbling off as much biscuit as possible so that you get lots of jam in your last bite.


item_name: Swordsman Sam chocolate bar
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Swordsman Sam chocolate bars are delicious milk chocolate snacks.  They come wrapped in a red wrapper showing the smiling face of Swordsman Sam, corporate logo extraordinaire.


item_name: loaf of cheese bread
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a long, thin loaf of bread, covered with a thick, yellow layer of toasted cheese.  A few strips of roasted tomato finish off the picture of a delicious, lovingly crafted loaf of bread.


item_name: silver cobweb nippleshield
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
A wide circle of silver creates the main frame for this piece.  From the centre a shield in the shape of a cobweb twists its way out via eight arteries and three tiers of veins.  A tiny spider has been carefully engraved into the surface of the centre band, it is almost too small to see with the naked eye.  A barbell, hidden behind the centre of the piece, is used to lock the piece onto the wearers nipple.


item_name: silver octopus nippleshield
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
A small shield in the shape of an octopus, with its eight arms reaching out in all cardinal directions is really what makes this piece spectacular.  Although not very different from other nipple shields the rather evil looking octopus with ruby inlaid eyes and long, tentacle arms reaching out across the wearers breast, this is simply a piece to remember.


item_name: narrow silver toe ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A delicate toe ring made from silver.  The narrow band is unmarred by any decoration, and has been polished to a fine lustre.


item_name: silver heart belly button ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a curved bar of silver, capped with a small silver ball at each end.  From the lowest ball dangles a short chain with a tiny silver heart on the end.  The heart has been engraved with a delicate swirling pattern, and a miniscule ruby has been placed in the centre.  A beautiful adornment to any stomach.


item_name: ornate silver toe ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A beautifully crafted toe ring made from silver.  An ornate crosshatch pattern has been etched into the surface.


item_name: silver sunburst nippleshield
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
The sunburst nipple shield is called a shield because of the shape.  Seven wavy spikes erupt from the shield, much resembling the appearance of the sun.  A hole in the middle allows the wearer to put their nipple through the shield and a traditional silver barbell is put through the nipple and onto two of the seven waves and locked on the back with a tiny ball on either end.


item_name: simple silver nipple ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
A simple circlet of silver, designed to add beauty and decoration to a nipple.  A silver ball holds the loop closed, its surface etched with a simple geometric pattern.


item_name: silver monkey brooch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a brooch made of silver and fashioned into the resemblance of a cheerfully comic looking monkey.  The monkey's tail curls around to form the pin for the brooch.  The monkey's arms are extended into a happy wave.  It's not quite an iconograph of a real monkey, but it looks enough like one for even an untrained observer to recognise the intent.


item_name: ornate silver ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a lovely silver ring that is formed of spirals of roped silver.  It looks as if it must have taken a lot of care to create it, and undoubtedly the silversmith is an expert in the medium.  You can even see the individual threads of each of the ropes.


item_name: silver turtle brooch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This brooch is a silver representation of a turtle... not one of the great astrochelonians of course, but one of the more prosaic turtles that are seen elsewhere on the Discworld.  The representation is somewhat comical; the artist did not attempt to make a realistic copy.


item_name: Ankh-Morpork chocolate
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Although it claims to be chocolate, the high amount of lips, hooves, and other exotica it contains mean that it is formally classified as 'cheese'.  If it were whiter, it would be classified as 'tile grout'.


item_name: goat cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Not-so-fresh from the pastures of Bad Ass, this is a typical goat cheese.  Despite its tame appearance, it is one of the richest tasting cheeses around.


item_name: wicker tube
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a short tube made from woven strips of reed.  It is brightly coloured and decorated with mystic sigils.  It is just large enough for you to insert your fingers into it.

appraise_text:
The wicker tube is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of reed and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: fluffy beauty bag
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely, off-white beauty bag decorated with red rosebuds and green leaves.  It is made of some sort of fluffy material.  Around the top of the bag is a zipper, and the lid has got a short handle attached in the middle.  It has also got a longer shoulder strap.   The fluffy beauty bag has one main pocket and two side pockets.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The fluffy beauty bag is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is off-white and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: makeup cleaning tissue
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A small, thin tissue which has been moistened by a number of eye-watering liquids.  Wiping the tissue on yourself would probably remove any makeup that the tissue touches.

appraise_text:
The makeup cleaning tissue is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of caustic makeup remover.


item_name: compact of blush
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small bamboo compact, which contains a rosy powder and a small powdering puff that can be used to administer the cosmetic without getting it all over your hands.  The thin wood has been stained with a dark lacquer, and the top has been inscribed with the abstract outline of a peacock with his tail spread marvellously across the slighty-rounded surface.  If you so desired, the compact of blush could be applied to someone.  The compact of blush is entirely full.

appraise_text:
The compact of blush is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: glass tumbler of lemonade
weight: between 7/9 lb and 8/9 lb
description:
This is a short glass tumbler, of the sort usually found in pubs and restaurants.  The glass tumbler of lemonade is about one-quarter full with four ounces of lemonade.  It is about one-quarter full.

appraise_text:
The glass tumbler of lemonade is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: vial of [colour] nail polish
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small glass vial of lavender coloured nail polish.  The bottle is complete with a wooden cap sporting a tiny brush to apply the varnish to yourself or someone else.  If you so desired, the vial of lavender nail polish could be applied to someone.  The vial of lavender nail polish is entirely full.

appraise_text:
The vial of lavender nail polish is not very long and not very wide.  It is lavender and is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bottle of [colour] hair dye
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small glass bottle, filled with sea green hair dye.  It appears to be a very high quality cosmetic, with a quite professional black label featuring scrolling silver-coloured text far too small to actually read.  If you so desired, the bottle of sea green hair dye could be applied to someone.  The bottle of sea green hair dye is entirely full.

appraise_text:
The bottle of sea green hair dye is not very long and not very wide.  It is sea green and is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: tube of lipstick
appraise_text: The tube of lipstick is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Found in Copperhead mines.
description:
This is a small wooden tube of lipstick with a few strands of beard hair stuck in it.  If you so desired, the tube of lipstick could be applied to someone.


item_name: tube of [colour] lipstick
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A short stick of ruby red pigment has been inserted into this lacquered bamboo tube, with a small cap to keep it from drying out.  Tiny golden designs of pheasants among tall grasses circle the tube itself, ornamental but cheap.  A tiny bit of wood at the bottom of the cylinder acts to push the contents toward the open side, so that more than one application can be held in the tiny tube.  If you so desired, the tube of ruby red lipstick could be applied to someone.  The tube of ruby red lipstick is entirely full.

appraise_text:
The tube of ruby red lipstick is not very long and not very wide.  It is ruby red and is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pencil of [colour] eyeliner
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a thin black pencil, filled with a compacted powder which is pink in colour.  It could theoretically be used to provide highlighting around the eyes, although too much would just make you look like a clown.  Unless of course you happen to be an official wielder of a bladder-onna-stick, in which case feel free to apply as much as you'd like.  If you so desired, the pencil of pink eyeliner could be applied to someone.  The pencil of pink eyeliner is entirely full.

appraise_text:
The pencil of pink eyeliner is not very long and not very wide.  It is pink and is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: jar of pickled eggs
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
A medium sized jar that smells distinctly of vinegar.  The jar is about one-quarter full with three pickled eggs.  It is about one-quarter full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The jar is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: pickled egg
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This egg smells slightly sour, as if of pickling vinegar.  Its surface is slick and a little greasy.  The whole combination is even less appetising than boiled eggs usually are.


item_name: wooden ring [talker]
appraise_text: It is made of wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This is a very plain piece of jewellery, made from a single piece of wood.  A yeti and a spider seem to be chasing each other around the ring.  Just beneath the surface, you can make out what looks like a pair of glittering eyes.


item_name: small crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is crystal clear.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: divining bob
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Nothing more than a leather cord looped through a simple silver ring, the divining bob sways gently when dangled.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The divining bob is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and silver and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: soft fluffy ball
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is an extremely fluffy white ball, made of something so quintessentially fluffy that it radiates fluffiness into its surroundings.  It is so fluffy that it won't even bounce, but it does seem to be eminently huggable.  There is a hole through the centre, suggesting that it could be worn over your wrist.

appraise_text:
The soft fluffy ball is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of fluff and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small round stone
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small piece of grey stone, vaguely round and with a rough surface.  It has an irregular hole running through the middle.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small round stone is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of stone.


item_name: bottle of lamp oil
description: This is a medium sized smoked brown glass bottle. It is closed.
weight: between 1 7/9 lb and 1 8/9 lb
appraise_text:
The medium sized smoked brown bottle is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: chocolate cookie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A chocolate cookie, which is also covered in chocolate.  Good for when you feel a bit down and need cheering up.  It looks delicious.


item_name: large amethyst crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted, amethyst crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid amethyst.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large amethyst crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: small aquamarine crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted, aquamarine crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid aquamarine.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small aquamarine crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: large aquamarine crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted, aquamarine crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid aquamarine.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large aquamarine crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: small ruby crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted, ruby crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid ruby.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small ruby crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: small jet crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted, jet crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid jet.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small jet crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: small emerald crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted, emerald crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid emerald.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small emerald crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: large emerald crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted, emerald crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid emerald.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large emerald crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: large ruby crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted, ruby crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid ruby.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large ruby crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: large amber crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted, amber crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid amber.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large amber crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: large jet crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted, jet crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid jet.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large jet crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: large crystal
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This large, multifaceted crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is crystal clear.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The large crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: jar of sugar
weight: 1 7/9 lb
description:
This is a large jar.  The large jar is completely full with some white sugar.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large jar is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: small amethyst crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted, amethyst crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid amethyst.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small amethyst crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: small amber crystal
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small, multifaceted, amber crystal has been threaded on leather cord so that it may be worn round the neck like an amulet.  It is solid amber.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The small amber crystal is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather, glass and crystal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: skull and crossbones embroidery pattern
description: This sheet of paper is printed with a skull and crossbones pattern for embroidery.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The skull and crossbones embroidery pattern is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: thick fleece
description: A thick sheep's fleece. You could probably spin it into wool.
weight: 6/9 lb
appraise_text:
The thick fleece is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: broom harness
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a set of leather straps that looks like it was designed to attach a broomstick across your back.  You can tell it's meant for a broomstick in particular, because of the little strap at the top for securing the bristly end as well as the finely-stitched writing on it.  It could sheathe a broomstick.

appraise_text:
The broom harness is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pin cushion
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A useful item for any serious seamstress, this pin cushion is worn around the wrist and could hold a number of pins or needles for easy access.  It is shaped like a hedgehog (for obvious reasons) and is inscribed with the words "The hedgehog can never be buggered at all", which seems to cause serious debate among some seamstresses (for less obvious reasons).  The hedgehog is naked of spikes.

appraise_text:
The pin cushion is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of cloth and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: frog embroidery pattern
description: This sheet of paper is printed with a frog pattern for embroidery.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The frog embroidery pattern is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: oatmeal biscuit
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Slightly too wholegrain to be really delicious and slightly too rich to be really healthy, this small oatmeal biscuit appears to be aimed at the kind of person who sees food as a punishment but hasn't yet quite got the hang of self-flagellation.


item_name: broccoli
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a nice leafy head of broccoli.  You can be almost certain there are no green wriggly things hiding in its depths.


item_name: wholemeal loaf
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a long, fat-bellied wholemeal loaf, practically bursting with luscious baked goodness.  Crispy on the outside, and light in the centre, it looks like an ideal choice both from the point of view of health and of pleasure.


item_name: dinner roll
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate little roll, of the sort that sits beside your plate as an accompaniment to a meal, not a meal in itself.  It is a white and fluffy thing, with a cross incised on the top.


item_name: rolled up [colour] bedroll
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
An essential item in any soldier's or hunter's inventory, this bedroll can be unrolled for added comfort when sleeping rough, or rolled away neatly when on the move.  Sturdy [colour] leather forms the outer layer of the roll and the inner part is comprised of layers of cotton wadding, making it both soft and light-weight.  It has been rolled up neatly.

appraise_text:
The rolled up [colour] bedroll is about nine inches long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is [colour] and is made of leather and cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: dark purple bathing suit
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This deep purple bathing suit, as dark as a day-old bruise, is cut high on the legs and low on the chest.  Three thin straps run over each shoulder to cross on the back.

appraise_text:
The dark purple bathing suit is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is dark purple and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: bottle of strawberry massage oil
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a bottle of strawberry massage oil perfect to rub on the skin after a nice hot bath.  Or before a hot bath.  Or any time at all for that matter.

appraise_text:
The bottle of strawberry massage oil is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: Sticky Trollop
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This started out as a Maid of Honour, but the original baker got a little overly "merry" on the scumble during the making, so now it's a Tart.  Light, flaky pastry surrounds the filling of sticky, golden honey drizzled over scumble-soaked cherries.  The whole confection is topped off with a blob of cream, flavoured with yet more scumble, and a cherry. A truly wanton pastry.


item_name: dropped scone
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This scone has been freshly baked and subsequently freshly dropped on the bakery floor. As a result, the light dusting of "extra ingredients" could be anything from sugar, dried fruit, or spices to sawdust or mouse droppings.


item_name: pair of floaties
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These floaties, also called water wings, are a cheerfully bright yellow.  They are designed to keep the wearer afloat when inflated and are worn around the upper arms.  It has a little drawing on the side of a Lancrastian sheepdog wearing four of these at a time.  They are flat and wrinkled.

appraise_text:
The pair of floaties is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is yellow and is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: mixed meat pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This small pie is an ideal snack if you're not particularly bothered by the specifics of exactly which meat is included.  Its crisp, golden pastry is packed to the crust with minced dead animals and thick gravy.


item_name: bottle of coconut massage oil
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a bottle of coconut massage oil perfect to rub on the skin after a nice hot bath.  Or before a hot bath.  Or any time at all for that matter.

appraise_text:
The bottle of coconut massage oil is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: Traveller's Suggestive Biscuit
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This robust, wholemeal biscuit is an ideal nibble for those long coach journeys between towns in the Ramtops.  Its unusual shape was created at the insistence of Lancre's own Nanny Ogg, and thus provides something of a conversation piece as well as sustenance when consumed in company.  Not a snack for the faint-hearted or bashful.


item_name: Carrot Surprise Cake
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This cake is an experiment in exotic fare.  The rich, dark exterior has been baked to perfection, concealing the "surprise" inclusion of raw, baby carrots.  Each mouthful provides a taste sensation quite unlike any before in the history of baking.


item_name: crumb bun
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This small bun is made up entirely from the crumbs of other items baked in the Lancre bakery, held together with a coating of caramelised sugar.  On a good day, the unusual mix of spices, dried fruits, delicate pastry and cake morsels can be an enticing taste experience. Mixed Meat Pie and Meringue Day, however, is not so popular.  So the question you have to ask yourself is - Do you feel lucky?


item_name: bottle of cinnamon apple bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of green and pale brown through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of cinnamon apple bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is green and pale brown and is made of glass.


item_name: bottle of blueberry bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of blue through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of blueberry bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is blue and is made of glass.


item_name: rubber duckie
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
An adorable bright yellow rubber duckie with a red bill gazes up at you with guileless blue eyes.  It looks exceedingly squeeeezable.

appraise_text:
The rubber duckie is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is yellow and is made of rubber.


item_name: bottle of banana daiquiri bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of bananananananananaananananananananaanananananananana and rum through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of banana daiquiri bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is bananananananananaananananananananaanananananananana and rum and is made of glass.


item_name: bottle of strawberry daiquiri bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of strawberry and rum through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of strawberry daiquiri bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is strawberry and rum and is made of glass.


item_name: bottle of lavender bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of light purple through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of lavender bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is light purple and is made of glass.


item_name: some oats
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a large pile of whole oats, more handfuls than you can estimate at a glance.  They still have the hulls on, which makes them inedible for humans.


item_name: pair of scandalously tight wine red lace knickers
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The thin wine red lace of these rather flimsy and impractical knickers, cut high at the waist and extending far down the hip, shows a pattern of grapevines and autumn leaves, intertwined in gentle arcs.

appraise_text:
The pair of scandalously tight wine red lace knickers is about four inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is wine red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: rather forward wine red lace brassiere
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Subtle underwiring renders the rather scanty wine red lace of this brassiere very supportive, and certainly does nothing to minimise the wearer's figure.  Gentle arcs of grapevines and autumn leaves curve across the cups, obscuring anything liable to cause offence to delicate sensibilities, and fragments of vine and leaf decorate the narrow shoulder straps.

appraise_text:
The rather forward wine red lace brassiere is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is wine red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: juicy t-bone steak
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This thick, juicy t-bone drips with homemade steak sauce.  The tender meat is marked by charred lines from being slow-cooked over the grill.  Looking at this mouthwatering creation it's difficult to believe the rumours surrounding the butcher and the recent decline in the local wolf population.


item_name: posh black forn silk dress with sequins
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This dress is black.  At least, in theory it's black.  It is black in the same way that a starling's wing is black.  It's black on a holiday.  It looks like the sort of forn propaganda to make Granny Weatherwax sniff; the sort of thing posh sorts wear to the opera and swanky stuff like that.  The posh black forn silk dress with sequins has one left pocket and one right pocket.

appraise_text:
The posh black forn silk dress with sequins is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: black woollen dress
weight: 1 4/9 lb
description:
This sensible, warm black dress is just right for the practical witch.  It reaches from neck to ankles, is made of fine black wool, and is very comfortable.  The pockets are suitably deep and voluminous, capable of hiding any number of secret witchy things.  The black woollen dress has one left pocket, one right pocket and one breast pocket.  It is over a quarter full with: a speckled frog.

appraise_text:
The black woollen dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or ten items.


item_name: flimsy black silk vest with embroidered moons
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
About as substantial as a sheet of tissue paper and almost as opaque, this is a highly impractical but very pretty piece of clothing.  It has gibbous moons embroidered in silvery thread around the base and neckline.  The flimsy black silk vest with embroidered moons has two breast pockets.

appraise_text:
The flimsy black silk vest with embroidered moons is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: portable running water shield
weight: 8 1/9 lb
description:
You've seen some weird inventions in your time, but this one really takes the cake for stupid creations.  You can't see any trademark but you just know that it's got to be a Johnson job.  This shield consists of a small round moat-like affair, with a tiny treadmill-run water mill inside which a mouse-sized imp is imprisoned.  The moat is full of water, and the imp treadmill makes the water run around the circle.  Apparently it's meant to be a kind of shield against zombies, who supposedly can't cross running water.  It is hellishly heavy and looks as though it would fall apart with one good thwack.

appraise_text:
The portable running water shield is about two and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of copper and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: puffy black silk blouse with bat-shaped buttons
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a loose-fitting, comfortable blouse made of black silk.  The buttons, upon closer inspection, appear to be made of ebony carved into the shapes of cute little bats.  The puffy black silk blouse with bat-shaped buttons has two breast pockets.

appraise_text:
The puffy black silk blouse with bat-shaped buttons is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: cast iron teapot
weight: 4 6/9 lb
description:
This teapot is large enough to make tea for a whole family of tea-drinkers.  Its size and cast iron body make it intimidatingly heavy - for a teapot.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The cast iron teapot is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cast iron and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about fifty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: blue fluffy blanket with fluffy bunnies on
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is the cutest, most adorable blanket you've ever seen.  It's made out of soft fluffy baby-blue wool, and embroidered into it are gorgeous little fluffy white bunny rabbits.  Looking at it makes you want to be a kid again, so you could cuddle it without feeling silly.

appraise_text:
The blue fluffy blanket with fluffy bunnies on is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cloth and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: deluxe steel pan
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is an artisan-handcrafted steel pan that can be used to pan for minerals.  It's been fitted with all the extras - with the ridges along the inside for better retention and the handles on the outside for a better grip, any amateur panner would feel confident of getting a good yield.

appraise_text:
The deluxe steel pan is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about twenty items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: simple copper pan
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a simple copper pan that can be used to pan for minerals.  While it's not the most sophisticated of tools, it's sturdy enough to serve in an experienced panner's hands.

appraise_text:
The simple copper pan is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of copper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about twenty items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: spicy sausage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The sausage, of a very questionable origin, seems to be designed to increase the thirst of whomever eats it.


item_name: apple scroll
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a spiral-shaped sticky bun with a thin, flaky honey-glaze.  The spaces between the spiral arms are stuffed with sweet, stewed apples and custard.  It's a dieter's nightmare and a dessert-lover's dream come true.


item_name: rat-onna-stick
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a rat, with an expression of total surprise on its face, a stick stuck into its nether regions, and ketchup smothered all over it.  It doesn't seem to be too pleased about its predicament.  It looks nice and fresh.


item_name: ham and cheese roll
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small, round roll of soft, white bread.  Large chunks of honey-baked ham have been baked into the roll, and melted goat cheese has been drizzled over the top, creating a mouth-watering snack.


item_name: round [colour] glass jar
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a small hand-crafted glass jar, stained [colour]; it looks as if it'd be useful for carrying small amounts of medicine around in.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The round [colour] glass jar is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is [colour] and is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: roast chicken drumstick
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This plump chicken drumstick has been smothered in a spicy red sauce and roasted to a warm, golden brown.  The tempting smell is enough to make anyone's mouth water.  Well, with the possible exception of other chickens.


item_name: silver bastard sword
weight: 4lb
description:
This gigantic, gleaming bastard sword looks largely ornamental, as it appears to be made completely of silver metal.  It is exquisitely crafted, the blade engraved with filigree-like tendrils, and the leather-wrapped silver hilt is carved into the shape of a winged dragon.  It looks utterly useless as a weapon, as everyone knows that silver dents horribly easily and the spiky dragon hilt looks kind of uncomfortable.  Of course, this all depends on what kind of enemy you're coming up against...

appraise_text:
The silver bastard sword is about three and a half feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: silver long sword
weight: 3 1/9 lb
description:
This lovely, gleaming long sword is made of about four feet of solid silver.  It is exquisitely crafted, obviously dwarf-wrought, and is absolutely beautiful.  An engraved pattern extends up the blade, curling delicately down to wrap around the hilt and gleaming leather-wrapped handle.  It looks too delicate to use as a real weapon, although there are some certain foes it might be useful against.

appraise_text:
The silver long sword is about three and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: long wooden javelin
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This very long wooden javelin is superbly balanced.  The shaft is a long smooth piece of light but strong wood.  Its tip is sharpened to an exquisitely pointy tip, and could do some decent damage.

appraise_text:
The long wooden javelin is about three feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: silver short sword
weight: 3 1/9 lb
description:
This is a beautifully carved short sword, apparently made from solid silver.  Its shaft is engraved with lovely curling tendril patterns, and the silver leather-wrapped hilt is wrought into the shape of a hawk.  It looks uncomfortable and too easily damaged to use as a real weapon, unless you were up against someone, or something, which was susceptible to that sort of thing...

appraise_text:
The silver short sword is about two feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: holy water-soaked whip
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
Now this seems awfully strange.  Looking at this piece of equipment - which, as a whip, by its very nature is sadistic and cruel - it's difficult not to wonder why a good and holy priest would allow one to be soaked in his holy water.  Never mind that it's for vampire eradication, it still doesn't seem probable.  The fact that you can see C.M.O.T.D. stamped on the plaited leather handle doesn't bode well for the thing's authenticity, either.  You might be able to lash at an opponent with it.

appraise_text:
The holy water-soaked whip is about six and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of leather and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: silver mail shirt
weight: 22 2/9 lb
description:
Now this is a fashionable piece of work.  A pure silver mail shirt which stretches from shoulders to knees and is belted at the waist by a silver-buckled leather strap, it would look stunning worn over a black undershirt.  However, looks is probably all it is good for, given that a well-swung sword would probably go through silver chain mail like a hot knife through runny butter.  It might just protect you against some certain things, though.

appraise_text:
The silver mail shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of silver and could be worn as armour.


item_name: crystal garlic pin
appraise_text: It is made of quartz and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Carved from a rosy pink shade of quartz, this small stone is a delicate replica of the many garlic cloves that hang from the roofs of Escrow.  Edged on the quartz is polished silver filigree that gleams and gives the small pin an enchanting degree of realism.


item_name: Escrow at night postcard
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This postcard is completely black except for some small white letters in the corner which read "Escrow at Night".

appraise_text:
The Escrow at night postcard is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Igor puppet
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small rag doll, roughly patched together from little pieces of cloth of varying colours, patterns and shapes.  A thick thread has been used for the seams, which gives it the impression of having large scars all over.  Its back has been generously stuffed with cotton, creating an impressive hunchback, out of which comes a string with a little tag on the end.

appraise_text:
The Igor puppet is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: town square postcard
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This postcard shows the town square of Escrow with its typical red brick paving and the beautiful well in the centre.  In the background the town hall with its impressive clock looms over the square.  The words "Greetings from Escrow" are printed in the upper right corner in old style letters.

appraise_text:
The Escrow town square postcard is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: guide to Magpyr Castle
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
description:
This is a long glossy pamphlet advertising Magpyr castle.  For some reason the attractions have been listed in alphabetical order.  How meticulous and weird.    It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed long glossy pamphlet is about six inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: glass globe
appraise_text: The glass globe is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of glass.
weight: 1 5/9 lb
description:
This is a glass globe, sized so that it can comfortably fit in your hand.  Inside the sphere there is a tiny castle sitting on a tiny cliff.  It seems to be made from dark granite, with deep yellow windows inset along the sides and the two looming turrets.  Apart from the size it appears amazingly realistic.  Sometimes it even looks as if there is something moving behind the windows.  But surely that wouldn't be possible.  Or would it?


item_name: music box
weight: 3lb
description:
This music box has been crafted in the shape and appearance of a tiny coffin from shiny polished mahogany wood.  It looks like the perfect place to keep your gothic jewellery collection.  There is a small keyhole at the bottom.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The music box is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood.  It can hold about 5 pounds, about thirty items, or about 5 shots.


item_name: stake keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
It's a miniature of a wooden stake, about 2 inches long.  There's a small metal ring pulled through one end.  Looks like you could put your keys on it.


item_name: gingerbread werewolf
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a werewolf-shaped gingerbread biscuit.  It has been lovingly decorated - streaks of icing represent the fur, a nut serves as the eye and the teeth consist of bits of almonds.  Standing on its hind legs, it looks as ferocious - yet tasty - as possible for a 4 inch tall werewolf.

appraise_text:
The gingerbread werewolf is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: piece of graveyard cake
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a rectangular piece of nut cake.  It is covered in chocolate icing and dotted with dozens of tiny colourful sugar flowers.  A piece of chocolate stuck into one end of the cake has been carefully shaped into a small tombstone, bearing "R.I.P." in sugary letters.


item_name: piece of Uberwald cherry gateau
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
Three layers of rich chocolate cake, generously filled with whipped cream and juicy, deep red cherries - all just waiting for you to sink your teeth into.  This cake is the incarnation of the diet sin.


item_name: deflated inflatable sheep
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a life-sized blow up sheep, but it has not been inflated, and looks pretty much like any crumpled mass of material.  You could probably inflate it if you wanted.

appraise_text:
The deflated inflatable sheep is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: toy bolt
appraise_text: The toy bolt is about six inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood and rubber.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small bolt designed to be fired out of a toy crossbow.  Instead of a pointed tip it has a small rubber suction cap.


item_name: toy crossbow
weight: 4lb
description:
This is a brightly painted crossbow, with a clown motif on the handle, and a bright red pump handle.  It looks pretty flimsy but, but then what warrior would use something looking like this?

appraise_text:
The toy crossbow is about two feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a fired weapon.


item_name: roll of [pattern or colour] wrapping paper
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a big roll of [pattern or colour] wrapping paper.  It looks like it could be used to wrap up something as a present.

appraise_text:
The roll of [pattern or colour] wrapping paper is about three feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 25 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: piece of [colour]-edged writing paper
description: This is a nice sheet of writing paper with the edges dyed [colour].
weight: between 4 g and 5 g
appraise_text:
The piece of [colour]-edged writing paper is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: four-sided die
description: This is a die nicely carved from ivory. It has four sides.
weight: between 3 g and 4 g
appraise_text:
The four-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: shiny brass coin
appraise_text: The shiny brass coin is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of brass.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a coin made from what looks like brass.  It shows the Patrician's head on the reverse and a ceremonial Ankh on the obverse.


item_name: deflated inflatable Captain Carrot
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a blow up doll of Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of the Ankh-Morpork city watch.  It is not inflated at the moment, and so looks pretty much like any other crumpled piece of material.  You could probably inflate it if you wanted to.

appraise_text:
The deflated inflatable Captain Carrot is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of plastic and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [colour] [material] teddy
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This teddy fits tightly, accentuating any natural curves beautifully.  The leopard-skin leather is held up at the front by a delicate silver chain, which wraps around the neck in a halter arrangement.  The leather clings at the side, then dips to a high-leg cut, before fastening at the crotch area.

appraise_text:
The leopard-skin leather teddy is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is leopard-skin and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of [colour] [material] knickers [genua knickers]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of Genuan knickers - they are like loosely fitting shorts of pink leather with a delicate, ornate trim along the trim.  Oo-la-la!

appraise_text:
The pair of pink leather knickers is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] [material] camisole
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This camisole is made from shimmering leopard-skin leather with leopard-skin ribbon straps that tie in a bow just on the top of the shoulder.  The leather hangs down loosely from the ribbons, covering a multitude of sins while giving tantalising glimpses of hidden delights.

appraise_text:
The leopard-skin leather camisole is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is leopard-skin and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] [material] bra [strapless]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a strapless bra of pink satin.  It is designed to hug the figure whilst still looking elegant enough to wear with any evening gown.  It is beautifully stitched, and provides all the support anyone could want - provided they don't mind sacrificing some of their cleavage.

appraise_text:
The pink satin bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is pink and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of [colour] [material] panties [plain]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of cream satin panties.  They are cut in such a way as to make them cling tightly to the skin of the wearer.  The design is simple, but the execution flawless.

appraise_text:
The pair of cream satin panties is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is cream and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: onyx pendant
appraise_text: It is made of gold and onyx and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This pendant is made of a large piece of carved onyx.  The stone has been fashioned into a beautifully carved rose.  The petals are carved in a manner to have them fall beautifully around the stem.  The stem which extends from the bud is made of pure gold and has delicate thorns along its length.


item_name: rose bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a gold bracelet made of delicately crafted golden roses along twisted vines with carved thorns and leaves.  It almost seems to glow with light.


item_name: werewolf hobby horse
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This is a child's hobby horse.  It is a long staff of wood with a carved wooden head in the shape of a wolf's face and muzzle.  There are dark stones set in the eye sockets and the head has been painted in greys.  Children generally hold the staff part between their legs and hobble about on it pretending like they are riding a werewolf.  You could probably hold it.

appraise_text:
The werewolf hobby horse is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: rampant wolf pin
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This pin is made of rose gold and has been created to look like a large wolf stretched out in a lope.  Even the fur has been worked to make it look as real as possible.


item_name: pair of vampire fangs
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of vampire fangs. They are carved in bone and set into metal wires so that they will fit in your mouth.  They are just the thing to impress all your gothic friends.

appraise_text:
The pair of vampire fangs is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of bone and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: white porcelain vampire
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a vampire doll with expensive white porcelain hands and face, while the rest of the body is made from cloth stitched so the arms and legs can move freely.  It is dressed in a little black evening dress.

appraise_text:
The white porcelain vampire is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: fluffy stuffed werewolf
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a cute stuffed toy, lovingly fashioned from real wolf fur and stuffed with feathers.  It stares at you with cute little black glass eyes and looks ready to take on the world with its little felt claws.

appraise_text:
The fluffy stuffed werewolf is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of fur, feathers and felt.


item_name: My Little Scraps
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a little wooden and leather doll fashioned to look like Scraps.  He's got floppy ears and two tails and a special drooling mouth.

appraise_text:
The My Little Scraps is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: model castle
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a impressive model castle with a retractable drawbridge.  It is painstakingly made from carved black oak and painted to look like stone.  The drawbridge is tied to its frame with string so that you can 'retract' it.

appraise_text:
The model castle is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: mahogany-handled paint brush
description: This is a mahogany-handled paint brush, the kind that would be used to paint a house.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The mahogany-handled paint brush is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: fan-shaped paint brush
description: This is a fan-shaped paint brush, the kind that would be used to paint a house.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The fan-shaped paint brush is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: tasselled paint brush
description: This is a tasselled paint brush, the kind that would be used to paint a house.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The tasselled paint brush is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: pearwood-handled paint brush
description: This is a pearwood-handled paint brush, the kind that would be used to paint a house.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The pearwood-handled paint brush is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: wide-bristled paint brush
description: This is a wide-bristled paint brush, the kind that would be used to paint a house.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The wide-bristled paint brush is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: gold-handled paint brush
description: This is a gold-handled paint brush, the kind that would be used to paint a house.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The gold-handled paint brush is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: roll of [pattern or colour] wallpaper
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a large roll of vellum white palm tree print wallpaper.  It looks like there's just enough of it to cover a single wall completely.  If you had some wallpaper glue you could probably paste it to the wall.

appraise_text:
The roll of vellum white palm tree print wallpaper is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: pot of wallpapering glue
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small pot of wallpapering glue, essential for anybody who's going to be doing anything involving sticking paper to walls or playing mean tricks on their friends.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The pot of wallpapering glue is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about forty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: round of Laschiri
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A traditional Uberwaldean food, Laschiri is a peculiar type of cheese.  Made of reindeer milk, the curds are drained and toasted in front of a fire while in a rimmed platter, giving it a crusty surface not unlike bread.  Underneath the crust lies a smooth, creamy cheese with a light and buttery taste - usually served with jams at breakfast.


item_name: packet of glitter
appraise_text: The packet of glitter is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A paper packet containing glitter which could be added to a full tin of paint to make wonderful and exiting new additions to the world of home (or wherever) decoration!  This additive will make your paint become glittery.


item_name: jar of feta cheese
weight: between 1 1/9 lb and 1 2/9 lb
description:
Made of clear glass, this jar is slightly bigger than the average jam jar.  A latchable metal lid on a hinge allows the jar to be sealed.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The clear glass jar of brine is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: flatulent water buffalo card (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a plain white card with a constipated-looking water buffalo embossed in the front in several contrasting colours.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The flatulent water buffalo card (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: golden book
description: This is a beautifully crafted gold-bound tome. It is closed.
weight: between 1 1/9 lb and 1 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The closed golden book is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Agatean get-well-soon card (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a magnificently hand-calligraphed Auriental get well card, with a charmingly executed cartoon of a queasy panda.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Agatean get-well-soon card (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: leather-bound book
description: This is a beautifully crafted leather-bound tome. It is closed.
weight: between 1 1/9 lb and 1 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The closed leather-bound book is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Auriental congratulatory card (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a magnificently hand-calligraphed Auriental congratulations card, bearing a stylised image of a triumphant lion.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Auriental congratulatory card (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Happy Agatean New Year card (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a magnificently hand-calligraphed Agatean New Year card, made from red paper and embossed with a golden fish motif.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Happy Agatean New Year card (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Auriental valentine (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a magnificently hand-calligraphed Auriental valentine card, with a romantic image of two swallows perching among sakura blossoms.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Auriental valentine (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Agatean birthday card (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a magnificently hand-calligraphed Auriental birthday card, decorated with the dragon and phoenix of harmony and adorned with the bluebirds of prosperity.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Agatean birthday card (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Auriental wedding invitation (closed)
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a magnificently hand-calligraphed Auriental wedding invitation, with a breathtakingly detailed image of a bride and groom in traditional costume.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Auriental wedding invitation (closed) is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pastry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Hublanders make their pastries by folding the crust into a pocket around their favourite foods, this is the classic Ankh-Morpork version, where they fold the crust into a pocket around the food they couldn't sell if you could see it.


item_name: old leaky quill
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Trimmed back to the shaft apart from a lonely tuft of feather at the top, this quill is slightly bent and discoloured from years of use.  The brass nib is battered and crossed, and there's a small split surrounded by a blue stain where it meets the shaft.  The nib glistens with messy, splotchy dark blue ink.

appraise_text:
The old leaky quill is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of feather and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: blue crystal ink well
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful crystal ink well made from deep blue glass.  There is a nicely engraved image of two crossed quills on the side.  The blue crystal ink well is completely full with two ounces of deep blue ink.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The blue crystal ink well is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of tin and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: paint-stained wand
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
You recognise the paint-stained wand to be a wand of colouring.  The wand is covered in old bronze paint making it impossible to tell what type of wood it's made of.  It looks like it could be refilled from a tin of paint.  It emits a slight octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The paint-stained wand is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: Woddeley's Occult Primer
appraise_text: The closed thin book is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: between 1 2/9 lb and 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a thin, useful-looking, cloth-bound book.  It looks well read, judging by the way the pages curl at the corners.  It is closed.


item_name: piece of writing paper with [colour] edges
description: This is a nice sheet of writing paper with the edges dyed [colour].
weight: between 4 g and 5 g
appraise_text:
The piece of writing paper with [colour] edges is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: ricepaper book
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
Covered with thin and slightly see-through ricepaper and bound with black silk threads, this book would make a striking addition to any library.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed ricepaper book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is off-white and is made of paper.


item_name: roll of labels
appraise_text: The roll of labels is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a tightly rolled strip of labels.  You could probably tear off a label, if you need to use one.  There are fifty labels left on the roll.


item_name: red book
description: This book is covered in flimsy-looking red cardboard. It is closed.
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The closed red book is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is red and is made of paper.


item_name: green sponge
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This sponge is small, green, and distinctly brassican in shape.  It's just what one needs for those hot bubble baths that are so often lacking in the vegetable department.

appraise_text:
The green sponge is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bundle of papyrus sheets
weight: between 6/9 lb and 7/9 lb
description:
This is a pile of roughly squared papyrus sheets, neatly sewn together down one edge to form a book.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed bundle of papyrus sheets is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper and papyrus.


item_name: potted cabbage
weight: 16 6/9 lb
description:
Rare and magnificent!  Strange and exotic!  This fine brassica has been shipped to the Aurient by none other than Brown Fingers Dibbler, purveyor of the finest Forn plants.  Its leaves are even nibbled slightly by a caterpillar, for the authentic touch.

appraise_text:
The potted cabbage is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: scumble-flavoured chocolate
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The chocolate is a soft dark ball which appears quite edible.  The coating appears melted and even burnt in places, revealing a pale brown interior.


item_name: mitamata
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The art of wrapping wafers in chocolate is an ancient one, and these miniature chocolate straws attempt, with some success, to exhibit the nuances of that craft.


item_name: chocolate rhinu
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
The Agatean Empire rhinu shows the Emperor's head on the reverse, and a lotus blossom on the obverse.  This particular one is made of creamy, dark chocolate, looking like every bite would be succulent and delicious.


item_name: chocolate-covered coffee bean
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The chocolate is a soft, light brown ball which appears quite edible.  Inside is a single coffee bean. The chocolate coating looks distinctly suckable.


item_name: chocolate-covered cherry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A round shell of chocolate around a soft interior, ostensibly cherry, though in reality, it is probably more likely to be some arcane combination of herbs and oils that tastes almost, but not quite exactly unlike any real cherry.


item_name: mint-flavoured chocolate
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The chocolate is a soft, light brown ball which appears quite edible.  It smells clean and fresh, with a cold, minty odour.


item_name: chocolate-covered carambola
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A flat, star-shaped piece of dark chocolate, it contains a thin sliver of carambola in the centre, just enough to give it a delicate, succulent flavour.


item_name: pair of tan leather thigh boots
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
These are a pair of tan leather boots that reach past the knee.  They are plain soft leather and are meant to be laced up tightly.  There is a flap of leather at the top of them that folds over and splits slightly to allow the laces to be tied.

appraise_text:
The pair of tan leather thigh boots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is tan and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of black slacks
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of fancy black slacks.  They are certainly evening wear for the distinguished gentleman.

appraise_text:
The pair of black slacks is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sleek black cloak
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful black cloak with a stunning red silk interior.  It is fastened with a gold brooch shaped like a bird in flight.

appraise_text:
The sleek black cloak is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: carved ebony stake
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This smooth ebony stake with many carvings of entwined dragons along its length.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The carved ebony stake is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: carved oak stake
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a oak stake carved with many small snake-like creatures along its length.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The carved oak stake is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: short oak stake
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a short stocky stake fashioned from oak.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The short oak stake is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: slim ash stake
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a small slim stake made of ash and smoothed to a fine grain.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The slim ash stake is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: long brass banded stake
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a long stake made of a soft wood.  It has been reinforced with several brass bands along its length.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The long brass banded stake is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: jagged stake
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a smooth stake made of oak.  The stake has been expertly carved to have a rather jagged point.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The jagged stake is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: brass banded stake
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a sleek wooden stake with several bands of brass strapped along its length to strengthen it.  It could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The brass banded stake is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and brass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: long pine stake
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
 This is a plain stake carved out of pine.  It is rather long and slightly unwieldy.  However, it could be useful if you're in a tight corner and have to do some quick close-quarters fighting.

appraise_text:
The long pine stake is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: stake scabbard
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This scabbard, made of fine leather, can hold a stake conveniently at one's side.  It could sheathe a stake.

appraise_text:
The stake scabbard is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: silver stake scabbard
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This scabbard can hold a stake conveniently at one's side.  It is made of fine silver to better ward off the evils one may encounter in their travels.  It could sheathe a stake.

appraise_text:
The silver stake scabbard is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: red silk negligee
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful negligee made of red silk.  It is just the thing to wear on an intimate occasion.

appraise_text:
The red silk negligee is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black leather jumpsuit
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is an interesting garment made of black leather.  It is a combination of trousers and a long sleeved top that are stitched together to form one outfit.  It laces along the back to make sure it is skin tight.

appraise_text:
The black leather jumpsuit is about five feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is black and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black silk bra
description: This is a simple yet elegant black bra made of fine silk. The black silk bra has two cup pockets.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The black silk bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: blue silk bra
description: This is a simple yet elegant blue bra made of fine silk. The blue silk bra has two cup pockets.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The blue silk bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: white silk corset
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a fine white silk corset made of many different shades of white silk.  The majority of it is made of a eggshell coloured silk tapestry that looks like white wolves on a white forest background.  The white silk corset has one cleavage pocket.

appraise_text:
The white silk corset is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: lump of wax
appraise_text: The lump of wax is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of wax.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a candle-shaped lump of wax.  It looks like what you'd get if you tried making a candle without a wick in it.


item_name: piece of candle wick
appraise_text: The piece of candle wick is about six inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of cotton.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a slim tube of cotton fibres, commonly called a wick, used in candles to provide the flame with enough molten wax to continue burning.


item_name: extra dribbly candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a thick candle that has been artfully dribbled to impress even the most discerning of Igors.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The extra dribbly candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: green scented candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a stubby candle made with green wax and artfully dunked in a barrel of pine sap and whale vomit to make the kind of natural scent that fills a room and refuses to share the comfy chair.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The green scented candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: humorously-shaped candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a long candle made of a pink wax and originally shaped to resemble a great big tonker.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The humorously-shaped candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: red scented candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a stubby candle made with red wax and artfully dunked in a barrel of rose oil and whale vomit to make the kind of floral scent that lasts.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The red scented candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: blue scented candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a stubby candle made with blue wax and artfully dunked in a barrel of violet scented oil and whale vomit to make the kind of floral scent that lasts.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The blue scented candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: long black candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a long black candle of 12 inches in length.  The candle has been dipped in a very dark wax to make it appear to be black.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The long black candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: dark red candle
description: This is a dark red candle. It is not currently lit. It is new.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The dark red candle is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is dark red and is made of wax and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: skull candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a white candle formed into the shape of a skull.  It is very detailed for a candle and almost looks real.  A separate white candle extends from the top of the skull.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The skull candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: diamond star brooch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This brooch is made out of silver and is inset with several diamonds and diamond chips to create the image of a shooting star.


item_name: peacock embroidered vest
description: This stunning work of embroidery depicts many beautiful peacocks all along a teal background.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The peacock embroidered vest is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is teal and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black lace widow's dress
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a stunning black lace dress with a high collar and a nice button down bodice.  It is the kind of outfit you would wear if you were a widow.

appraise_text:
The black lace widow's dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: deep crimson lace dress
description: This is a stunning lace dress with a high collar and short skirt, almost blood red in colour.
weight: 8/9 lb
appraise_text:
The deep crimson lace dress is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is crimson and is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: silver sword
weight: 3 1/9 lb
description:
This finely forged long sword seems to be made from the finest Klatchian steel.  There is a fine pattern of diamonds hammered into the steel and the edges have been covered in a beautiful coating of silver.  There is no mistaking this blade has a purpose.

appraise_text:
The silver sword is about three feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: black silk evening dress
weight: 1 5/9 lb
description:
This is a stunningly crafted evening dress for a rich gentleman on his night out.  It is made with black silk with lots of white ruffles and vests.  It glints in the light like a raven's feather and would make anyone stand out of a crowd.

appraise_text:
The black silk evening dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: deep purple tunic
description: This is a nice tunic with a deep purple hue and a nice high collar that buttons in the front.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The deep purple tunic is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is deep purple and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Agatean Chlong of Destiny
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a religious symbol of merely three straight lines and two curved ones arranged in some clay.

appraise_text:
The Agatean Chlong of Destiny is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: spray bottle
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a clear glass bottle with a spray attachment and a little cloth covered rubber ball to squeeze when spraying something.  It is almost full of what seems to be water.  It could probably be used to spray someone.

appraise_text:
The spray bottle is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Djelian religious symbol
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is the double snake symbol of the water cult.  It is drawn into some clay and baked to keep its form.

appraise_text:
The Djelian religious symbol is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: fine black and red qipao
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a glossy black silk dress reaching from a straight hem just below the ankle up to a traditional Agatean style collar.  It has the skirt slit part way up the sides and the dress is fastened by cloth loops of a deep crimson near the top.  The entire dress has been ornately dyed in a pattern of bamboo leaves of the same crimson hue.  The whole looks to be made to quite a high standard, something worn by only the highest classes.

appraise_text:
The fine black and red qipao is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Klatchian silver skirt
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
A thick band of ivory silk rests upon the hips and supports a number of delicate silver chain mail strips. The silver strips fall lightly, barely covering the legs beneath.

appraise_text:
The Klatchian silver skirt is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: diamond inlaid lip ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This lip ring, unlike most, has three balls on the ring.  Apart from the ball lock two additional balls has been placed on either side of the lock, their only purpose however, is decoration.  Each of the balls have been inlaid with a tiny diamond which glistens in the light.


item_name: captive bead nipple ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
A small silver bead has been added to this ring to act as a lock.  It is intended for those with interest in the more obscure relationships and to underline that the bead has been engraved with the word "Captive".


item_name: silver eyebrow pin
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2 g
description:
This is possibly as basic as you can get when it comes to eyebrow piercings.  A small pin is simply put through the wearers eyebrow and locked in place a ball on either end.


item_name: white gold lip ring
appraise_text: It is made of white gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
Crafted entirely in white gold, this lip ring is certainly meant for the upper class.  A decorative engraved ball, also made from white gold, closes the ring around the lip and also helps the piece look a lot more stylish.


item_name: silver tassel nipple ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
This piece, as far as nipple rings go, is a bit on the extreme end, seeing as the silver ring has a small silver chain with a tiny weight ball attached to it.  The combined weight of the piece isn't out of the ordinary but it still looks really extreme!


item_name: dark ruby nipple ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
An inch across, but slender and delicate, this loop of dusky red gold supports a trio of dark rubies.  The large central stone is flanked by two smaller ones, each a perfect match in colour and seeming to hold all the elusive mystery of a desert night in their depths.


item_name: cocktail shrimp
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a juicy, steamed shrimp, split open like a victim of some obscure religious rite, and dripping in salty cocktail sauce.


item_name: portion of fish and chips
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
It's hard to tell what is the fish and which of the small, sloppy pieces are supposed to be the chips.  They all taste the same anyway.


item_name: bag of boar scratchings
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a sloppy paper bag filled with greasy, crispy curls of burned pork skin.  They look as tasty and delicious as some chunks of cardboard that have been charred and soaked in lard.


item_name: stuffed crawfish head
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a delicious looking stuffed crawfish head.  While it is in fact not made with the head but with the larger thorax shell, no one complains as this means they get more of the delicious stuffing of spicy crawfish meat stuffing.


item_name: pair of [colour] [material] manties
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of leopard-skin leather manties.  These are panties, but for men.  The less said about these, the better.

appraise_text:
The pair of leopard-skin leather manties is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is leopard-skin and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Genuan Ming vase
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A delicate looking vase, patterned with spiralling images of Agatean dragons, sinuous bodies twisted in flight.  A light blue wash of ink on pearl white china.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The Genuan Ming vase is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: pitcher
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A rich copper red jug, patterned with the stylised images of a sun and moon in a typical Genuan design.  An ideal pitcher for the serving of wine or ale.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The pitcher is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 quarts.


item_name: lizard's tail
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This flower, coloured green and white, takes its name from...well, take a guess.  Unfortunately, rather than looking particularly like any form of reptiles appendage, they seem to be doing a better job of appearing like renegade pipe cleaners standing around in a bush, lying in wait to attack any potential threats to their existence.  Such as pipe smokers, perhaps.

appraise_text:
The lizard's tail is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Genuan soup bowl
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
A broad soup bowl with a stylised image of a yellow sun emblazoned upon it, in perfect compliment to the glazed rich red clays of the Vieux delta that have gone into its composition.

appraise_text:
The Genuan soup bowl is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: vanilla scented candle
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a vanilla scented candle.  It is a large pillar candle with a few vanilla beans embedded in the wax.  The scent suggests that it would be ideal for setting an intimate atmosphere for those quiet nights in alone with a very close friend.  It is not currently lit.  It is brand new.

appraise_text:
The vanilla scented candle is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: white ostrich feather
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a white ostrich feather.  Its long stem and fluffiness of plume make it an ideal tickling toy.  Perfect for the playful tease.

appraise_text:
The white ostrich feather is about a foot and a half long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ostrich and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: blue sage
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
In the Morporkian, "salvia azurea", this flower looks like a little green stalk with lilac pillows enshrouding the top half of the plant.  The tiny blooms stand small but proud, not too dissimilar in appearance to a Genuan courtesans' wig.

appraise_text:
The blue sage is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sunrise coloured lily
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
A wondrous collation of colours, this lily seems almost as if it were some beautiful Genuan sunrise, painted a bright canary yellow at its stem and tapering to its luscious leaves of crimson and burnished bronze.

appraise_text:
The sunrise coloured lily is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: lavender scented candle
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a lavender scented candle.  It is a large pillar candle, decorated lightly with a scattering of dried lavender flowers embedded in the wax.  The scent suggests that it would be ideal for setting a relaxing atmosphere for those quiet nights in.  It is not currently lit.  It is brand new.

appraise_text:
The lavender scented candle is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: black ring
appraise_text: It is made of octiron and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
This ring has been cast from octiron, and features a disturbing setting.  Its main feature is a blackened, flat disc, with an elegantly faceted ruby at its centre.  Around the rim of the disc, blood red letters have been marked into the metal.  Between the stone and the letters is an intricate network of silver wires, bulging upward from the face of the disc.  The impression is of enormous forces struggling to burst through a barrier, and only the ruby at the centre seems to be holding them back.  Etched in lines of glowing octarine: "Umbra Incognitas"


item_name: ruby headed nipple pin
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3 g
description:
Like most nipple pins, this piece consists of a small silver pin with a small ball attached on either end.  The balls, also crafted in silver, have each been inlaid with a tiny marquise-cut ruby.


item_name: black ostrich feather
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a black ostrich feather.  Its long stem and fluffiness of plume make it an ideal tickling toy.  Perfect for the playful tease.

appraise_text:
The black ostrich feather is about a foot and a half long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ostrich and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: leather-ringed key
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Paired with a chastity belt on purchase.
description:
In the distance to the northeast, Old Tom, the tongueless and magical octiron bell of Unseen University, tolls a single sonorous silence.

appraise_text:
The leather-ringed key is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and leather.


item_name: pair of pink fluffy handcuffs
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
At each end of the three pewter coloured links, is a handcuff engulfed in bright pink lamb's wool.  These handcuffs would be the perfect start of a tantalising rendezvous, if only you could find someone willing to be handcuffed.

appraise_text:
A pair of pink fluffy handcuffs is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be worn as armour.


item_name: small metal key
description: The small simply styled pewter key has a heart-shaped handle engraved with the words: Teramel Inc.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Key for handcuffs.
appraise_text:
The small metal key is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: natural ostrich feather
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a natural ostrich feather.  Its long stem and fluffiness of plume make it an ideal tickling toy.  Perfect for the playful tease.

appraise_text:
The natural ostrich feather is about a foot and a half long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ostrich and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: padded velvet box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This thick cardboard box is lined with padded velvet fabric to protect its contents.  Written in fancy lettering:  Chastity Belt, made by Ubersteel Inc.

appraise_text:
The padded velvet box is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cardboard and velvet and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or three items.


item_name: small box of body glitter
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a small box of body glitter.  Intricate swirling designs cover the outer casing, and inside, an incredibly soft powder puff nestles in the top.  The glitter itself looks to be coated in a sweet substance to make it cling to the skin.  It emits a light scent of honey.  The box is filled to the puff with glitter.

appraise_text:
The small box of body glitter is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: leather chastity belt
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A chastity belt, meant to put access to one's most private areas under some fiendish master's or mistress's control.  After it's closed and locked, it can't be removed until it's unlocked again.  This one is made out of shiny black leather, to give its wearer a glossy and stylish look.  It has a small leather-wrapped lock on the front.  It is currently open and unlocked, not being worn by anyone.

appraise_text:
The leather chastity belt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: chastity belt
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This thick cardboard box is lined with padded velvet fabric to protect its contents.    It is closed.

appraise_text:
The padded velvet box is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cardboard and velvet and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or three items.


item_name: fruit basket
description: A small, tightly woven wicker basket perfect for keeping fruit in.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
special_find_note: de558c279f58f9184fa19c172d86c5df9badd24b
appraise_text:
The fruit basket is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wicker and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: wicker chair [Genuan]
weight: about ten pounds
description:
Circular in design, woven in the Genuan tradition from reeds from the great swamps of Genua, this wicker chair seems an ideal place to curl up of an evening.

appraise_text:
The wicker chair is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Diamond City lily
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
The Diamond City lily is a tall flower that pulsates with vibrant reds and oranges, its petals delicately spotted with brown flecks that almost hypnotise its admirers.  The stamen protruding from the flower, like org... like long hands waving out, reaching out to any potential bees that may be buzzing around.

appraise_text:
The Diamond City lily is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: posy of white orchids
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
A delicate posy of pristine white orchids, gathered deep from the heart of the Vieux swamplands, and commonly worn by ladies of Genua as a measure of status.  The posy carries a heady sweet scent that lingers in the air long after the wearer has passed you by.

appraise_text:
The posy of white orchids is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: wicker snake basket
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
A round wicker basket about half the height of a man, with two handles near its rim for ease of carrying.  Perfectly suited for snake charming, all you need to add is the snake.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The wicker snake basket is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: fruit basket [Genuan]
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
A wicker fruit basket, perfect for gathering fruit from an orchard or even wild mushrooms from the depths of a forest.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The fruit basket is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: citrus scented candle
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a citrus scented candle.  It is a large pillar candle, bursting with citrus essences.  The scent suggests that it would be ideal for setting a cheerful atmosphere to perk up a dull day.  It is not currently lit.  It is brand new.

appraise_text:
The citrus scented candle is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: octiron charm bracelet
weight: 30 g
description:
This bracelet is made of an indeterminate number of dark, entwined octiron wires.  It looks very occult.

appraise_text:
It is made of octiron and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: steel charm bracelet
description: A shiny and delicate but deceptively formidable chain of premium steel.
weight: 25 g
appraise_text:
It is made of steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: barbed wire charm bracelet
description: This charm bracelet is just a piece of barbed wire! It must be very uncomfortable to wear...
weight: 25 g
appraise_text:
It is made of metal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: brass charm bracelet
description: Gleaming, unadorned but intricately twisted brass links form this elaborate charm bracelet.
weight: 25 g
appraise_text:
It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: black steel charm bracelet
description: Heavy links of blackened steel make this simple, utilitarian charm bracelet.
weight: 25 g
appraise_text:
It is made of black steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: gruper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A pointy headed fish.  Very slippery and with beady eyes.  Not suitable for the old, very young, expectant mums or over-sensitive types.


item_name: Curious Squid
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Imported all the way from the waters of the Circle Sea, these tiny squid are used by master chefs to create expensive dishes that contain no trace of the squid at all.


item_name: serving of calamari
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Calamari is not to everyone's taste, but for those who do like it, these rubbery chunks of fried squid meat are considered a chewy, tasty treat.


item_name: blowfish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
When threatened, a blowfish pumps itself full of water, which makes it appear to have doubled in size.  This also has the effect of forcing the spikes that cover its body to spring out.  On top of this, most of the fish is poisonous.  Why anyone would want to eat it, besides as a novel way of topping one's self, is unknown.


item_name: can of caviar
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This can contains thousands of tiny (and expensive) fish eggs, imported from across the Disc.  The only reason anyone wants to eat them is because they're rare.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The can of caviar is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: swordfish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
A swordfish is basically a large fish with an even longer "sword" protruding from where you imagine its nose should be.  It's rather sharp.  Pity you can't use it as a weapon.


item_name: grouper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This greenish-olive fish has longitudinal rows of darker black blotches covering its scales, while its underbelly has similar spots, but in bright red.


item_name: crab
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Crunchy crab claws and the tender meat inside... it's no wonder this cheaper alternative to lobster is so popular and a staple in the diet of any coastal region.


item_name: deformed pony
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a strange little Dinky doll.  It vaguely resembles a white pony.  Where its mane should be is a hole with a few straw "hairs" sticking out, and there seems to be a keyhole in its behind.  Written in neat letters: Dinky Industries Inc., Dinky.

appraise_text:
The deformed pony is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: My Little Dinky
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a strange little Dinky doll.  It vaguely resembles a white pony.  Where its mane should be is a hole with a few straw "hairs" sticking out, and there seems to be a keyhole in its behind.

appraise_text:
The deformed pony is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: deluxe lockpick
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a high-quality lockpick.  The wire is fine, but flexible and strong.  It also has useful hooks and thicker sections.

appraise_text:
The deluxe lockpick is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: set of safe-cracking tools
description: A set of tools for cracking safes. It features all kinds of strange and ingenious devices.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The set of safe cracking tools is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: tiger head cushion
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a cushion shaped vaguely like a tiger's head.  It's made of fluffy sheep's wool that has been appropriately painted with orange and black stripes.  The eyes are black beads and a reddish velvet tongue sticks out of the tiger's mouth.

appraise_text:
The tiger head cushion is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: medium album sheet
appraise_text: The medium album sheet is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a sheet of waxed paper with small card-shaped windows on it.  One side is slightly longer and covered in adhesive, so one could probably put it into a properly shaped book.  It holds six small slots with windows.


item_name: genuine mugger's cudgel
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a long, heavy piece of wood, which you could use to blatter someone over the head with.  Crudely carved into it are the words "A presente from thee Ankh-Morporke Shaddes".

appraise_text:
The genuine mugger's cudgel is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: piece of the Blessed Line
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A thin piece of fishing line, utterly ordinary except for the pale blue glow around it.  A small tag attached to one end proclaims this to be a piece of the Blessed Line, a fishing line reputedly used by Fish himself to trawl the depths of his Sacred Lake.

appraise_text:
A piece of the Blessed Line is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: cottage plate
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This plate has a beautiful painting of a forest cottage on it.  It is almost too nice to use.  There is nothing on the cottage plate.

appraise_text:
The cottage plate is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay.  It can hold about 2 pounds.


item_name: souvenir theft receipt
weight: 2 g
description:
This wrinkled slip of paper is not an official receipt from the Thieves' Guild of Ankh-Morpork.  It is, however, a nice way to have a memento of your visit in case all the thieves you've met had already filled their quotas and thus couldn't provide you with a real one.

appraise_text:
The souvenir theft receipt is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: "I love the Shades" cart sticker
description: This is a large cart sticker with "I love the Shades" written on it in large letters.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The "I love the Shades" cart sticker is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: fruit bowl
description: This bowl has had various fruit painted on it. It is open.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The fruit bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, about thirty items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: flowery plate
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This plate is what the potter describes as "smuvvered wiv fla'ers".  It is almost too nice to use.  There is nothing on the flowery plate.

appraise_text:
The flowery plate is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay.  It can hold about 2 pounds.


item_name: hexagonal plate
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This plate is hexagonal.  It looks quite odd, but has been coloured in a very subtle shade of blue to give it the overall effect of being a blue hexagonal plate.  It is almost too nice to use.  There is nothing on the hexagonal plate.

appraise_text:
The hexagonal plate is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay.  It can hold about 2 pounds.


item_name: star-shaped bowl
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This bowl is shaped like a star.  It is coloured in a very subtle green to give an effect that is surprisingly pleasing to the eye.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The star-shaped bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, about thirty items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: flowery bowl
description: This bowl is what the potter describes as "smuvvered wiv fla'ers". It is open.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The flowery bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, about thirty items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: Shades souvenir quilting block
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This cotton quilting block is the colour of dried blood and is printed in black with the words "I escaped from the Shades with most of my limbs!".

appraise_text:
The blood red cotton quilting block is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is blood red and is made of cotton.


item_name: mugger's mug
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is your standard, solid white mug, albeit a bit stained.  Written on it in big black letters is the phrase "Your coffee or your life!".

appraise_text:
The mugger's mug is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: animal bowl
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This bowl is not for use by animals (perish the thought!) but is rather nicely covered in paintings of various animals, some existing only in the imagination of the artist, unless that giraffe has been _really_ ill.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The animal bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, about thirty items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: war flail
weight: 4 7/9 lb
description:
Descended from a grain thresher, it hurts just to look at this war flail.  The sturdy wooden rod-shaped handle extends nearly four feet and has several chains attached to one end.  On the end of each chain is a metal ball covered in vicious spikes designed to tear flesh from man and beast alike.

appraise_text:
The war flail is about four feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: black iron flail
weight: 5 5/9 lb
description:
This black iron flail features a foot long handle, corrugated at the base for easier gripping in damage-inducing endeavours.  At the other end is an iron hoop linking the handle to a single ball via a thick chain.  Spikes fully two inches long protrude from the ball, set at 60 degree angles from each other for maximum carnage.

appraise_text:
The black iron flail is about three feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: two-handed war sword
weight: 8 8/9 lb
description:
This two-handed war sword has an unusually long handle wrapped in black leather.  Attached to it is a slender two-edged steel blade with a wickedly sharp tip and a small pommel guard.  Halfway up the handle is a set of parrying hooks, giving the wielder the option of using the weapon for close or long ranges.

appraise_text:
The two-handed war sword is about five feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: information booklet
description: This is a small booklet, hand-written and colourfully illuminated on thick parchment pages.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The information booklet is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: handful of squid tentacles
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Chopped into two-inch lengths, with the suckers still attached, the tentacles appear to be pre-prepared for cooking.


item_name: teardrop pearl
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Looking at this beautiful gem almost brings tears to your eyes.  It looks like it has been shed by an oyster for some heart-wrenching reason.  It has the perfect shape of a teardrop and is a gentle shade of blue.

appraise_text:
The teardrop pearl is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: melon pearl
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This attractive pearl resembles a melon closely.  Its shape is elongated and it has dark stripes running down the sides giving it a bird-cage effect.  Between the stripes, rainbow swirls shimmer up and down its length as it reflects the light.

appraise_text:
The melon pearl is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: linen bag
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From lock packages, quilting supplies, and other shop sales.
description:
Made from rough linen, this bag has long handles to allow it to be worn across the torso.  It looks perfect for small amounts of shopping.  The linen bag has one main pocket and one front pocket.

appraise_text:
The linen bag is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 7 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: silver tree of life ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This intricate silver band is engraved with the symbols of the holly and the oak representing the cycles of growth and regeneration and life and death.  When you look closely at this design you see two sides to the tree. The two sides represent the male and female aspects of nature that grow out of the same earth.  This dual nature also symbolises Positive and Negative forces in nature as well as Day and Night.  Two halves of a whole. Oh, and it's also rather pretty.


item_name: golden teardrop pendant
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a beautifully crafted golden pendant.  A delicate golden linked chain attaches near the point of an exquisite teardrop that has been polished so much it reflects even the smallest amount of light.  Lovingly hand-crafted, the pendant exudes a subtle sense of peace and love.


item_name: pair of cotton trousers
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Made out of what looks like a rather low quality cotton, this pair of trousers looks very cheap.  While they are in near perfect condition, that doesn't mean that they offer much, if any, protection from the elements or anything else.  The only cause they serve is that of decency.

appraise_text:
The pair of cotton trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: pewter girdle
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pewter girdle worn with the ceremonial robes of the Ancient Order of the Incarnation of the Dynastic Crescent.

appraise_text:
The pewter girdle is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of pewter and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of [colour] [material] panties [mesh]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of cream mesh panties.  The panties have been made from lace, but in such a way as to weave an alluring mesh that discreetly covers whilst also hinting at what may be found beneath.

appraise_text:
The pair of cream lace panties is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is cream and is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of seashell earrings
appraise_text: It is made of shell and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of seashell earrings made out of tiny brightly coloured seashells.  It gives the wearer a certain sparkle about the ears.  The multiple tiny fan-shaped seashells form a bigger fan, hanging on a tiny peace of undefined metal.


item_name: silver wolf pendant
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A tarnished silver wolf dangles from a braided black leather chain.  Its eyes are set in a deep opal, and seem to be looking right through you.


item_name: wolf charm bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Tiny silver wolves dangle in various poses from the links of this dainty charm bracelet.  Some of them are sleeping, some stalking prey, and still others are howling at the moon.  The way the wolves' tongues loll from the corners of their smiling mouths, and the way they tinkle gently as the wearer moves effectively prevent them from looking ominous in any way.


item_name: Bad Ass tourist pendant
appraise_text: It is made of iron and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is Bad Ass' small attempt at a tourist industry.  It is a small iron pendant of an ass with a naughty look on its face.  It was probably made by Gordo Smith, the village smith.  On a banner below the ass is written "I'm a real Bad Ass".  This is as good as Bad Ass humour gets.


item_name: richly embroidered jacket
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This roomy jacket has been made of thick dark blue silk, embroidered over the entire surface with twisting, curling patterns in gold thread.  A row of ornate gilded frogging runs up the front, concealing the hooks and eyes that hold it closed, and gold-fringed epaulets adorn the shoulders.  The richly embroidered jacket has two secret pockets.

appraise_text:
The richly embroidered jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is dark blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: Seven Lucky Words pendant
appraise_text: It is made of wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This rectangular silver pendant has the seven protective (and of course, lucky) words embossed on the front and is encircled by a little beadwork chain.  It is unusual looking and powerful and comes strung on a black cord to wear around the neck.


item_name: crystal egg
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 6/9 lb
special_find_note: c3ce05ff3b7105a1f49ecd1b05f331c5a3c3440c
description:
The crystal egg is stunningly beautiful.  Light is refracted through it into all the glorious colours of the rainbow.  It gives off a steady octarine glow.


item_name: tiny pewter anvil brooch
appraise_text: It is made of pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
No more than half an inch long, with an equally tiny pin to fasten it on, this minutely detailed brooch has been cast in the form of a blacksmith's anvil.


item_name: Set of Lucky Divining Sticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This bundle of sticks is used in the ancient art of divining the future by throwing some sticks down and looking at them.  It is accompanied by a chart which explains the patterns.  Learn your fortune today!

appraise_text:
The Set of Lucky Divining Sticks is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: black robe
description: This is the black robe of Death. He wears it to work. In fact he wears it all the time.
weight: 2 7/9 lb
appraise_text:
The black robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: gilded horsehead staff
weight: 3 6/9 lb
description:
This substantial-looking staff is gilded in what at first glance appears to be a fine layer of antique gold.  On closer inspection, however, it becomes clear that it's simply yellow paint with children's glitter liberally sprinkled along its length.  To finish-off the melodramatic effect, a crudely-molded horsehead sits precariously atop the staff.

appraise_text:
The gilded horsehead staff is about six and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: chrome-plated sword
weight: 3 7/9 lb
description:
As an instrument of death and destruction designed to instill fear into your enemies, this chrome-plated sword falls somewhat short.  Its huge blade is remarkably mirrored and more likely to distract or even blind combatants with a rogue sunbeam, than inflict damage with its barely-sharpened edge.

appraise_text:
The chrome-plated sword is about four and a half feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: grey turban
description: This is a turban of deepest greyness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The grey turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: red turban
description: This is a turban of startling redness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The red turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: decorative wooden axe
weight: 5 3/9 lb
description:
Carved from a single piece of Lancre pine, this decorative wooden axe is unlikely to be useful in most battle situations.  Charcoal-black geometric patterns have been branded onto the surface of the wood along the shaft.

appraise_text:
The decorative wooden axe is about three and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: green turban
description: This is a turban of startling greenness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The green turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pink turban
description: This is a turban of vivid pinkness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The pink turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: yellow turban
description: This is a turban of deepest yellowness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The yellow turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black turban
description: This is a turban of deepest blackness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The black turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blue turban
description: This is a turban of startling blueness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The blue turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of blackened steel headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of blackened steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from blackened steel depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in bits of amber, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: violet turban
description: This is a turban of impressive violetness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The violet turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: brown turban
description: This is a turban of deepest brownness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The brown turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: tarnished steel knife
weight: 1 2/9 lb
description:
This is a broad-bladed knife with a wide blood channel running along its sides.  Etched into the tarnished blade are crude illustrations of the legendary Slippery Hollow rider menacing local villagers.

appraise_text:
The tarnished steel knife is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: pair of platinum headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of platinum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from platinum depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in bits of amber, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: horse ear keyring
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The shrivelled ear of a horse has been attached to a keyring, enabling the lucky possessor to keep track of multiple keys.


item_name: lightweight dagger
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a remarkably lightweight dagger.  Its short, wooden handle is bound in strips of thin red leather, while the straight blade appears to have been coated in layers of chrome paint to create the poor illusion of a finely polished blade.

appraise_text:
The lightweight dagger is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: Slippery Hollow Memorial t-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This grey t-shirt has been printed with a grotesque characterisation of the Headless Horse, complete with bright red blood dripping from the severed neck.

appraise_text:
The Slippery Hollow Memorial t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of bronze headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of bronze and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from bronze depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in sapphires, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: pair of glass headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of glass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from glass depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in sapphires, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: horseless head hat
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a grotesque hat fashioned to look like the severed head of a horse.  There is a wind-up mechanism that looks like it could do something.

appraise_text:
The horseless head hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cloth and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: occult silver horse anklet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A dozen tiny silver horses, holding each other's tails in their mouths, form a procession along the length of this anklet.  Each horse bears a tiny diamond for an eye.


item_name: occult gold tree medallion
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This medallion is a round piece of gold with a large tree embossed upon it.  The tree is huge and imposing, with a formidable tangle of roots at the base.


item_name: occult gold horse anklet
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A dozen tiny gold horses, holding each other's tails in their mouths, form a procession along the length of this anklet.  Each horse bears a tiny diamond for an eye.


item_name: fake nose
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This grotesque nose can be strapped on over one's real nose to make the wearer look even uglier than before.

appraise_text:
The fake nose is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: occult silver horse ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This silver ring has been engraved with occult depictions of horses.  Several horses gambol around the ring, manes and tails flying gracefully.  On close inspection, the horses seem to be lacking heads.


item_name: orange turban
description: This is a turban of magnificent orangeness.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The orange turban is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of occult silver grue earrings
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This pair of silver earrings has been carefully crafted into the likeness of two grues, staring menacingly at the world through eyes of glinting ruby.


item_name: occult silver tree medallion
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This medallion is a round piece of silver with a large tree embossed upon it.  The tree is huge and imposing, with a formidable tangle of roots at the base.


item_name: occult horse skull brooch
appraise_text: It is made of bone and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This heavy brooch has been carved from bone, into the likeness of a horse skull.  Its empty eyesockets seem to hold an ineffable threat of danger.


item_name: pair of occult gold grue earrings
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This pair of gold earrings has been carefully crafted into the likeness of two grues, staring menacingly at the world through eyes of glinting ruby.


item_name: occult gold branch bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This gold bracelet is formed by intricately crafted and exceptionally detailed tree branches, all linked together in a loop.  The bark and leaves are all individually discernable, making the whole recognisable as representing the Tree of the Dead.


item_name: occult silver branch bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This silver bracelet is formed by intricately crafted and exceptionally detailed tree branches, all linked together in a loop.  The bark and leaves are all individually discernable, making the whole recognisable as representing the Tree of the Dead.


item_name: horse head luck indicator
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This cord necklace has a very small piece of wood threaded onto it, which has been carved into the shape of a horse head.  It has particularly long ears, which is very lucky, because if those ears ever fall off it will mean its owner is in danger and should run for his or her life.

appraise_text:
The horse head luck indicator is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be worn as armour.


item_name: black hooded wool cloak
weight: 3 8/9 lb
description:
This is a voluminous cloak of thick black wool.  It has a clasp at the throat and a deep hood that could be raised to hide your face or lowered to reveal it.  The black hooded wool cloak has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The black hooded wool cloak is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: black and white harlequin mask
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This fine silken mask covers wearer's face in black and white triangles.  With eye holes between the triangles, only the mouth and a patch of forehead are left bare.

appraise_text:
The black and white harlequin mask is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of lapis filigree earrings
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
Two perfectly round deep blue lapis stones are set into these delicate silver filigree latticework earrings.


item_name: [colour] [slogan] t-shirt [Slippery Hollow]
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a promotional, cotton t-shirt of the type sold to tourists.  It has been dyed black and bears the slogan "Filthy, Stinking, Rich.  Well, two out of three ain't bad".

appraise_text:
The black "Filthy, Stinking, Rich.  Well, two out of three ain't bad" t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: jack-o-lantern
appraise_text: The jack-o-lantern is about a foot long and about a foot and a half wide. It is made of wood.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Though this lantern was once but a humble pumpkin, little of the original squash remains.  It was mercilessly gutted, cleaned, cured, and then subjected to several brutal hours of cruel knifeplay.  Its formerly cheery orange surface is now scarred with a network of gruesome and ghastly gashes, which vaguely resemble a human face.  The candle inside is not lit.


item_name: long white candle
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a long white candle of 12 inches in length.  The tallow has been refined and treated to make it a pure white instead of the normal yellowish.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The long white candle is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: heavy black cube
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
You see a heavy black box with a window on one side.  Looking through the window, you notice a tiny demon sitting patiently next to a miniscule painter's easel.

appraise_text:
The heavy black cube is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: black fountain pen
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
An elegant fountain pen lacquered in a pitch black.  The thin, delicate shaft is decorated, in delicate gold filigree with a sketch of a headless horse, and the italic nib is forged from gleaming gold.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The black fountain pen is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: small ripe fig
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small but sweet-looking fig.  It is very tempting to pry that tough peel open to expose the inner pulp.


item_name: emergency whistle
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This small silver whistle can be blown to seek help in case of emergency.  Terms and conditions apply, response not guaranteed.

appraise_text:
The emergency whistle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of silver.


item_name: headless horse model
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small carved wooden model of a headless horse.  A rider sits upon its back with an attitude of menace, as if a headless horse wasn't menacing enough.  Some pieces of fabric have been glued on to make a mane and tail, and the rider has a piece of cloth for a robe.  The whole thing is painted black.

appraise_text:
The headless horse model is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: medium sized plain envelope
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a medium sized plain envelope.  It is open.  It has a sticky flap at one end with which you could seal it.

appraise_text:
The medium sized plain envelope is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: My Little Abattoir Playset
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is an intricately detailed miniature abattoir carved from wood.  It lacks only a roof, so that you can see the inside easily.  Little wooden cows inside can be moved around the walkways and holding pens by moving pegs on the underside of the playset.  You could try playing with it, or slaughtering a cow.

appraise_text:
The My Little Abattoir Playset is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: carousel painting
weight: 5 3/9 lb
description:
This painting features a charming toy horse fixed to an iron post.  Heavy brush has taken over the surrounding fairground and gnarled vines cover the horse's base, though a dark mass of spiky iron gears is just visible through the encroaching tendrils.  Dark clouds cover the sky from horizon to painted horizon; the only exception is a tiny break in the gloom, through which a single column of sunlight is able to descend.  By its scarce illumination, the viewer is just able to make out a jarring detail: the horse's neck ends right where one would expect a head to be.

appraise_text:
The carousel painting is about five feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of canvas and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: painting of a windmill
weight: 5 3/9 lb
description:
This painting depicts a lonely windmill atop a barren hill.  The stone walls of the mill are worn yet still sturdy, but the blades appear useless as the unforgiving light of sunset highlights the tattered and torn sails in stark detail.  A seldom travelled path snakes away from the mill and down the slope of the hill, presumably to somewhere far better than this unsettling, isolated and brooding structure.

appraise_text:
The painting of a windmill is about five feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of canvas and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: windable rider
appraise_text: The windable rider is not very long and not very wide. It is made of some unidentifiable material.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This windable toy depicts the headless horse rider of Slippery Hollow.  His pale face, his flaming sword and his headless horse are all lovingly recreated in this well constructed and painted little toy.  Just wind him up and watch him gallop off to terrorise the nearest village!  A small key protrudes from one side, allowing the toy to be wound.


item_name: cuddly peehs toy
appraise_text: The cuddly peehs toy is about nine inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of wool.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The peehs toy is a cuddly woollen replica of one of Slippery Hollow's confused sheep.  Many of the sheep of Slippery Hollow are affected by strange magical forces in the area, causing them to walk and sometimes even to vocalise backwards.  This huggable little peehs is no exception as you'll find out sometimes when you pet her.


item_name: horseless head
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small carved wooden model of a horseless head.  It glares malevolently at the world, and seems none the worse for the lack of a horse.

appraise_text:
The horseless head is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: crystal ink well of [colour] ink
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
This is an exquisite ink well formed of hand cut crystal.  The silver-plated lid has been delicately engraved with a pair of crossed quills, and it stands upon a solid ebony base.  Of a square cut, it sparkles beautifully as it catches and reflects the light.  The makers mark of JS can just be made out on the base.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The crystal ink well of [colour] ink is roughly a couple of inches long and not very wide.  It is made of crystal and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: crystal ink well of fake blood ink
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful ink well formed from hand cut crystal.  The silver-plated lid has been delicately engraved with a headless horse, and it stands upon a solid ebony base.  It sparkles beautifully as it catches and reflects the light.  The crystal ink well of fake blood ink is completely full with two ounces of fake blood ink.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The crystal ink well of fake blood ink is roughly a couple of inches long and not very wide.  It is made of crystal and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: headless horse sculpture
weight: 4 4/9 lb
description:
This sculpture of a headless horse is both subtle and menacing.  Its dark colours and graceful lines help it to blend in almost anywhere, but upon being noticed it sends a chill down the spine.

appraise_text:
The headless horse sculpture is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: windable witch
appraise_text: The windable witch is not very long and not very wide. It is made of some unidentifiable material.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This windable toy depicts a witch.  Although most witches are helpful individuals (for a given value of helpful) this one looks particularly mean or possibly even evil.  It is a very well constructed and lovingly painted little toy.  A small key protrudes from one side, allowing the toy to be wound.


item_name: windable wisp
appraise_text: The windable wisp is not very long and not very wide. It is made of some unidentifiable material.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This windable toy depicts one of the will-o-the-wisps sometimes found near Slippery Hollow.  Vaguely humanoid in shape, the misty and translucent body has been recreated in tough glass that has been misted to avoid showing the inner clockwork.   A small key protrudes from one side, allowing the toy to be wound.


item_name: eyeball
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This large squishy sphere has been painted to look like an eyeball, presumably one belonging to a horse.  It is eerily life-like, staring around disconcertingly.

appraise_text:
The eyeball is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of rubber.


item_name: copper moon circlet [talker]
appraise_text: It is made of copper and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A fine chain of polished copper fastens around the wearer's brow and supports a dozen tiny moons, growing and waxing towards the full moon at the centre and fading back towards the crescent moon at either temple.  Just beneath the surface, you can make out what looks like a pair of glittering eyes.


item_name: sheet of parchment
weight: 11 g
description:
This is a sheet of good quality parchment.  Clearly, someone thought that writing was extremely important, to go to the effort of producing such a beautiful, smooth, translucent piece of thinly sliced cow skin as this.

appraise_text:
The sheet of parchment is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of parchment and paper.


item_name: Headless Horse Action Figure
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is an ornately carved miniature of the famed and dreaded Headless Horse.  Although, if you peer down the neck hole, you can see that it does actually have a head.  There's a button on its back you could try pushing.

appraise_text:
The Headless Horse Action Figure is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: gloomy painting
weight: 5 3/9 lb
description:
Although appearing to be an abstract work of blackness broken only by dark swirls and tangles, this painting rewards further study.  The tangled lines seem jagged in places, perhaps representing briars or rips, while some of the less tangled lines seem to fork, like branches or perhaps a dark form of lightning.  Even the darkest areas of the work are highlighted sharply, perhaps suggesting that the black areas are wet or glistening.  The main sensation produced by extended study is one of depth though, as if the scene recedes away from the viewer and threatens to pull them in.

appraise_text:
The gloomy painting is about five feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of canvas and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sheet of lined parchment
weight: 11 g
description:
This is a sheet of good quality parchment.  Clearly, someone thought that writing was extremely important, to go to the effort of producing such a beautiful, smooth, translucent piece of thinly sliced cow skin as this.  That same someone thoughtfully considered the average writer, and ruled faint lines across the sheet in order to keep order on the page.

appraise_text:
The sheet of lined parchment is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of parchment and paper.


item_name: sheet of Slippery Hollow parchment
weight: 11 g
description:
This is a sheet of good quality parchment.  At the top of the sheet is a beautifully drawn sketch of Slippery Hollow itself, below which the name of the village is written in flowing script.  It needs no additional writing to proclaim where you bought it and to make all your friends jealous of your travels.

appraise_text:
The sheet of Slippery Hollow parchment is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of parchment and paper.


item_name: moon dragon bracelet
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This cuff bracelet features a marvelously detailed moon dragon, cast in fine silver.  Her sinuous body is curled into an intricate Llamadese knot around a glittering emerald, but her tail coils away to snake several inches up the wearer's forearm.  The tip of the tail is subtly curled into a gentle spiral, as though to hold something in place.  It could sheathe a stiletto.

appraise_text:
The moon dragon bracelet is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: riveted leather belt
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Constructed out of thick boot leather, this belt has been riveted all the way along its length to provide extra grip around the waist of the wearer.  Designed for heavy use, two studded leather loops are affixed to allow hafted weapons to be carried securely on either hip.  There are two loops free.  It could sheathe an axe, hammer or mace.

appraise_text:
The riveted leather belt is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: moon dragon hair slide
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This beautiful hair slide is wrought of fine silver lovingly sculpted into the shape of a moon dragon.  The noble beast curls and loops around itself, forming an intricate Llamadese knot around a single sparkling emerald.  It could sheathe a stiletto.

appraise_text:
The moon dragon hair slide is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: ornate sword harness
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This strange harness looks like something out of a Holy Wood adventure click.  It consists of two short scabbards festooned with a bewildering assortment of leather straps and brass buckles, all oiled and polished to a gleaming sheen.  The whole assembly would form a sleek V down the wearer's back.  There are two scabbards free.  It could sheathe a short sword, gladius, ninjato or hunting sword.

appraise_text:
The ornate sword harness is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: headless horse glove puppet
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a glove puppet of the headless horse of Slippery Hollow.  Despite having no head, the gory neck hole can be manipulated to represent speech.

appraise_text:
The headless horse glove puppet is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wool and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: confused sheep marionette puppet
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This marionette puppet represents one of the many confused sheep of Slippery Hollow.  You can even make it cross its eyes at the pull of a string.

appraise_text:
The confused sheep marionette puppet is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Magistrate Flathead marionette puppet
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This marionette puppet represents Magistrate Flathead, who pretty much runs the village of Slippery Hollow.  He even has a cute little magistrate wig on his head.

appraise_text:
The Magistrate Flathead marionette puppet is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: hotdog
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Unbelievably, this is the kind of thing Dibbler bases his 'cuisine' on.  It is the genuine thing; a hot and tasty sausage in a fluffy bread roll, smothered in tomato ketchup and mustard.  Quite delicious!


item_name: cream bun
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This bun is topped with a thin layer of icing sugar and filled with (almost) fresh, whipped dairy cream.


item_name: strawberry tartlet
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
A strawberry tart made for one.  A pastry base forms a cup which is filled with strawberry preserve.


item_name: horsehead biscuit
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This sweet biscuit has been prettily cut into the shape of a horsehead.  A large raisin has been pressed into it to represent an eye.


item_name: pumpkin loaf
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
The dough of this loaf was mixed with roasted pumpkin, finely mashed.  The result is a surprisingly orange colouring, and a slightly nutty flavour.


item_name: jade briar-rose choker
appraise_text: It is made of jade and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Carved with the care of a master's hand, this rose of translucent deep green jade is cradled by silver leaves, one inset with a single teardrop diamond, which glimmers like dew.  Delicate, age-patinaed silver vines, tipped with glistening golden thorns, entwine around the wearer's neck to form a dainty yet slightly dangerous piece.


item_name: sapphire and diamond ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 17 g
description:
A dozen small rose-cut diamonds encircle a single large, softly luminous sapphire on the bezel of this broad white gold ring.  The plain, unadorned band wears its age lightly, but even the respectful treatment it's had can't conceal the marks of time.


item_name: smoky amber earring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This earring is a globe of dark, smoky amber, seeming to glow softly with a warm, velvety orange-brown light.  It is set on a backing of ornately carved gold, which complements the smoothness of the amber.


item_name: pair of opal cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A cabochon-cut opal, shimmering with all the colours of a spring meadow, sits neatly in the plain gold setting of each elegantly simple cufflink.


item_name: jangly gold bangle
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a thin, circular loop of gold, stylish and glittering.  It seems designed to encircle the wrist while jangling against one or two of its fellows.


item_name: rose gold wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of rose gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A fine, apparently simple wedding ring of deep and luscious rose gold, this ring has a sensuous and subtle curve which is hard to describe, seeming to flow around the base of the finger, almost doubling up on itself if you look more closely.  The soft metal, less garish than yellow gold, has a warm and subtle glow which brings out the elegant sensuality of the carving.


item_name: white gold blackbird earring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This earring is made of white gold carved in the shape of a blackbird in flight.  Though a little stylised, there is a certain liveliness in the angle of its head and its half-open beak.  It hangs from a finely fashioned white gold hook, suspended unevenly so that it tilts to one side as it soars motionless though the air.


item_name: silver snowdrop brooch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
An elegant and stylised snowdrop, its blossoming head bending under the weight of winter only slowly lifting off the land, stands nearly an inch tall.  Made from carefully tended silver, it nevertheless shows a few tiny wear marks as a relic of its age.


item_name: armful of jangly gold bangles
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a set of thin, circular gold bangles, stylish and glittering.  They are designed to be worn as a group, to clash and jangle against each other as they slide up and down the forearm.  They would accentuate perfectly the dusky tones of dark, smooth skin.


item_name: amber gold blackbird necklet
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A slim and sensuous band of gold curves around the neck and down over the collar-bone.  Nestled into the little dip shaped to fit the hollow of the throat is a perfectly smooth globe of dark, smoky amber.  Deep within the warm orange glow of the amber is carved a stylised blackbird, wings outstretched and poised for flight.


item_name: rose-cut diamond nipple ring
appraise_text: It is made of steel and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
A large diamond, the soft rose-cut stone shimmering with gentle grey-blue light, hangs from a small steel ring.  The silver setting is clearly old and a little tarnished, but that only adds to the beauty of this antique piece.


item_name: book of poems
weight: between 1 1/9 lb and 1 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small book bound in rose-coloured leather.  The front has been embossed with an image of a single rose-bloom.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed rose coloured book is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: red and blue plaid picnic blanket
weight: 1lb
description:
The softest red and blue plaid wool, hand-woven in Sto Lat has been backed with a sturdy red, waterproofed cotton.  Set it upon a grassy meadow and spread out the delicacies for your most romantic picnic.  It has been folded down so as to fit more easily in a basket.

appraise_text:
The red and blue plaid picnic blanket is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cloth.


item_name: thick gold wedding band
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
description:
This ring is fashioned in heavy, dull gold.  Its weight and strength reflect your own deep commitment to your marriage.


item_name: gold ribbon wedding band
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 12 g
description:
This ring is made of soft gold, gold that takes on the soft texture of ribbon.  It is designed to follow every movement of the wearer like a flowing fabric, and has been trimmed on the edges with diamonds that look like they were embroidered by a fairy.  This wide ribbon of gold symbolises the vastness and strength of your mate's love for you.


item_name: seven-plus-one diamond wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of diamond and gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 14 g
description:
This wedding ring features seven-plus-one small diamonds set around the edge of the band.  They symbolise joy, love, happiness, longevity, eternity, devotion, trust, and the future.


item_name: butterfly lover's pendant
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a finely wrought enamel pendant in brilliant hues of blue and green, suspended on a pretty silver chain.  The two silver filigree wings are dotted with tiny peridots and emeralds, making it shimmer in light.  There is a small clasp on the back of the pendant, which when undone splits it into two separate necklaces, one for each lover.

appraise_text:
The butterfly lover's pendant is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be worn as armour.


item_name: silver and green frog friendship ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 11 g
description:
Laughing frogs are fashioned from silver and outlined in bright green enamel.  They leap and dance in bold relief on this heavy silver ring.  Each frog has two tiny emerald eyes.


item_name: solitaire diamond engagement ring
appraise_text: It is made of diamond and platinum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 17 g
description:
This engagement ring has been made from platinum, with a single round brilliant-cut diamond set into it.  It catches any light in the room and appears to magnify it, almost glowing with an inner fire.


item_name: enamelled floral wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 14 g
description:
This is a thick, gold wedding band with a pattern of delicately enamelled red roses running around the edge, symbolising love, passion, and romance.


item_name: twined leaf silver wedding band
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
A pattern of intertwining vine leaves is meticulously worked in sterling silver.  An heirloom pattern, this ring symbolises the intertwining of souls: of the wearer with their spouse.


item_name: white gold wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a circle of white gold, elegant and well wrought.  The simplicity of this sparkling metal emphasises purity of spirit and quiet, selfless love.


item_name: diamond trinity engagement ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 16 g
description:
This elegant white gold band features three large, brilliant-cut diamonds.  They represent the past, the present, and the future and have been set into a traditional prong setting.


item_name: simple gold-plated wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of iron and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 4.68 g
description:
This stunningly simple gold-plated ring was forged from the cheapest, possibly highly-toxic iron available and painted with a flaky yellow gold leaf.  It symbolises getting married because her daddy has found out and owns a large crossbow.


item_name: mother of pearl wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7.68 g
description:
This is a slender gold wedding band, around the edge of which a band of mother of pearl has been enamelled.  It seems to speak of the glories of the sea, ideal for a nautical bride.


item_name: ruby engagement ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 13 g
description:
Made from gold, this otherwise plain engagement ring has several small rubies set in a heart shaped cluster.  They sparkle brightly in the light, cut by expert hands, while the gold itself seems without flaw.


item_name: sparkling diamond wedding band
appraise_text: It is made of diamond and platinum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 18 g
description:
Fashioned in platinum, this exquisite ring is studded with flashing stones of the finest quality.  It gives off the impression that the wearer's mate cherishes them and wishes to provide everything possible to ensure marital happiness.


item_name: ruby star necklace
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
This necklace is formed by braiding fine gold wire into an elegant yet hefty plait.  Gently twisted, it would encircle the neck of the wearer comfortably.  It is finished off with a star-shaped ruby, which nestles in a golden setting, flanked by the braided gold chain.


item_name: black book
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
Covered in black leather, this little book could be used to record the names and c-mail addresses of all your love interests.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed black book is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is black and is made of paper.


item_name: yellow book
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
description:
The cover of this book is made from a flimsy-looking yellow cardboard and is decorated with a crude daisy pattern.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed yellow book is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is yellow and is made of paper.


item_name: diamond row engagement ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
description:
This is an elegant circlet of white gold, featuring a row of seven circle-cut diamonds.  They graduate in size from each end of the row to the centre, where the largest has been set.


item_name: pebble on a chain
appraise_text: It is made of steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
What is essentially a thin metal chain running through a small grey pebble is also apparently a charm designed to make evil trolls admire it.  While this could have some basis in truth, as trolls occasionally do admire nice looking pebbles and rocks, it is doubtful that seeing a nice one such as this with a hole drilled through it and a chain through the hole is going to make them want to do anything other than get angry at the wearer.


item_name: decorative domed ring [watch ring]
appraise_text: It is made of pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: between 1/9 lb and 2/9 lb
description:
A simple, hand-crafted piece of pewter has been shaped into a comfortable ring shape, complete with a small decorative dome.  It has been gilt with gold, and tiny ankh stones have been inlaid into its surface.  It is truly a thing of beauty and craftsmanship.


item_name: silver watch pin
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This slender lapel pin is topped with an ornate sliver of platinum representing the moon, which holds a small white orb.  Closer inspection reveals the orb to be a small time piece.  Remarkably small numerals grace its face while two tiny hands trace the hours away on this beautiful piece, one shaped from copper as a wand topped with a star, the other a detailed silver broomstick.  The current time displayed is: 1:27am, Friday 1st June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: gold watch
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a carefully crafted clockwork watch, supposedly much more reliable than an imp-powered piece.  It has been plated in gold for classic style.  The current time displayed is: 1:27am, Friday 1st June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: copper charm bracelet
weight: 25 g
description:
Made of copper wire woven into a basket weave-like pattern, this charm bracelet is both elegant and rustic.

appraise_text:
It is made of copper and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: rat pasty
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This traditionally made dwarfish snack was originally designed to be eaten down in the mines.  Made from a whole rat covered in short crust pastry, then baked for five days this will keep warm for a very long time if it is kept in a dwarfish vest.  Of course, if you tried to eat it after keeping it in a vest like that you'd probably end up learning every knot on the privy door.


item_name: One pinch of Zabingo pepper
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than 1 g
description:
This particular pepper, which comes by repute from the hellish pepper mines of Zabingo, where hundreds of hapless slaves toil day upon day without respite, a glimpse of day, or a hope of rest, is eye-wateringly pungent.  In fact, it's so strong that the Grand Merchant's Council of Zabingo have issued (it is alleged) a standing challenge to anyone who thinks they're hard enough.  If you can snort it more than twice in a row without sneezing, they will personally deliver a hundredweight of pepper to your door on the 17th of Grune every year.


item_name: red and green spotted mushroom
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a very strange looking mushroom.  Not only is it excitingly coloured, it is shaped vaguely like a cross between a frog and a llama.


item_name: patent barometric chronograph
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Large and hefty, this mirror-polished brass pocket watch has ornately scrolled numerals on its porcelain face and filigreed silver hands.  A number of small windows in the face show the day, month, year, an attempt to measure the weather outside, and the phase of the moon.  It is closed.


item_name: flower fairy cameo pendant
appraise_text: It is made of glass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Done all in gentle shades of grey, this oval glass pendant shows a dancing fairy with her head thrown back so her long hair flutters above her gauzy wings, alighting on a bluebell flower.  A slim dove-grey ribbon clasps the pendant closely around the wearer's neck.


item_name: white gold diamond wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 14 g
description:
This is an exquisite white gold wedding ring with a small cluster of diamond set into a curve in its elegant band.  The cluster takes the form of five flawless diamonds in a row.  The rest of the ring is unadorned, making the cluster the sole concession to decoration.


item_name: gold and diamond wedding ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 13 g
description:
This is an exquisite golden wedding ring with a solitaire diamond set into its elegant band.  The decoration around the circumference of the ring takes the form of beautifully tooled ivy leaves and gentle swirls interwoven with hearts along their length.


item_name: golden desert fox necklet
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A slim and sensuous band of gold curves around the neck and down over the collar-bone, little mounds of dark amber rising from it at irregular intervals, like sand dunes from the desert.  Nestled into the little dip shaped to fit the hollow of the throat is a larger, perfectly oval amber globe.  Deep within the warm orange glow of the amber is carved the wary shape of a hunting desert fox, nose sweeping the ground and ears pricked forward.


item_name: smoky amber robe brooch
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is an ornate oval brooch designed to sit to one side of the chest or the other, fastening one's robes or a cloak.  The large, flattened oval of smoky dark amber is set into an elaborately carved gold surround, which coils up around it in a complex pattern of little tendrils and ripples.  Deep within the warm orange glow of the amber is carved the wary shape of hunting desert fox, nose sweeping the ground and ears pricked forward.


item_name: garnet vine earring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This earring is made up of several delicate bands of rose gold, curling around each other in an intricate vine-leaves pattern that seems to grow downwards from the ear, rather than simply hanging there.  Nestled in the golden tendrils like luscious fruit are several tiny garnets, their wine-red depths gleaming in the light.


item_name: coiling gold viper earring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
In sensuous looping coils, this elegant rose gold earring writhes down from the ear lobe almost to the shoulder, carved in the shape of a tree viper.  Even the raised ridge of scales down the back is brought out in fine detail by the expert carving.


item_name: artificer's brooch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 30 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
This is a simple silver brooch in the shape of a knight's shield, emblazoned with the staff and crossed hammers of the Academy across a blacksmith's anvil.  It glows an intense octarine.


item_name: tiny pewter leaf brooch
appraise_text: It is made of pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
No more than half an inch long, with an equally tiny pin to fasten it on, this minutely detailed brooch has been cast in the form of an oak leaf.


item_name: tiny pewter Academy brooch
appraise_text: It is made of pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
No more than half an inch long, with an equally tiny pin to fasten it on, this minutely detailed brooch has been cast in the form of the Academy of Artificers' badge, a staff and a pair of crossed hammers.


item_name: bloodstone
appraise_text: Rocky as a mineral.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
This is a small green stone with not-so-subtle red splotches covering its surface.  It's strangely light to the touch and has a nice polished shine.


item_name: clay shard
appraise_text: The clay shard is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Broken at a steep angle, this shard of clay once belonged to what could have been a nifty little clay pot.  That is, had it not been smashed to pieces.


item_name: brown snail shell
appraise_text: The brown snail shell is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of shell.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
This is the conical shell of a once great snail.  The shell is still in near-perfect garden-snail-like condition.  Whatever that means.  The inside is completely hollow.  Dying embers of octarine pulse lightly.


item_name: battered pewter tankard
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
About half a pint in volume, this old battered tankard has clearly been much loved.  And, for that matter, thumped on the table to emphasize points, waved around to conduct a rousing song, dropped, thrown across the room, and sat on.  The pewter is a dull, weathered grey, but the staff-and-crossed-hammers emblem of the Academy of Artificers stands out in bright gleaming silver.

appraise_text:
The battered pewter tankard is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pewter and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, ten items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: large seed
appraise_text: The large seed is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of monkey.
weight: 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
This is certainly more of a nut than a seed.  A single brown nut covered in protective fuzz, much like a peach, only ...hairier.  The dark fuzz keeps the nut safe from would be predators and helps it root itself deep enough to grow fully and healthily erect.  Something magical and life giving throbs inside.


item_name: neat little jeweller's hammer
weight: 7/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
No more than four inches long, but exquisitely balanced, this little hammer carries the staff-and-crossed-hammers emblem of the Academy of Artificers engraved into the flat side of the head.

appraise_text:
The neat little jeweller's hammer is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: tiny pewter hammer brooch
appraise_text: It is made of pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
No more than half an inch long, with an equally tiny pin to fasten it on, this minutely detailed brooch has been cast in the form of a smith's hammer.


item_name: friendly brown snail
appraise_text: You appraise the friendly brown snail and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: 6/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Small and cute, with a yellow-spiralled brown shell, this snail looks around interestedly at the world.  It seems secure in the knowledge that if danger threatens, it can retreat into the warm cosy (if slimy) home on its back, and doesn't seem to object in the slightest to being picked up and worn.


item_name: black diamond navel stud
appraise_text: It is made of steel and diamond and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
The sharp-edged glimmer of this dark, elusively shadowed stone draws in both light and eye to where it sits firmly held in place by its slim steel bar.


item_name: small white earplug
appraise_text: It is made of wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small earplug is made out of smooth wood, so pale it's almost white.  Its smooth crescent shape allows it to sit inside one's ear without blocking out sound, and a clip extends outwards to fit over the edge of the ear and stop it falling out.  The word "iBean" is inscribed on the clip, in very small letters.  Just beneath the surface, you can make out what looks like a pair of glittering eyes.


item_name: music note keyring
weight: 3/9 lb
special_find_note: c492a94ebc15ed66dc4fa1dc95ba8a01d7a22677
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a small music note.  It can be used to put keys on.


item_name: anvil ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 11.30 g
description:
A plain silver ring has been augmented by a miniature representation of an anvil, flawlessly crafted from flint.  Lying crossed on the anvil are a golden hammer and an octiron staff, while the sides of the anvil have been stippled with golden spots which seem to form words.  Etched in lines of glowing octarine: "Argenteus Astrum"


item_name: silver cigar case
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is an elegant cigar case made from silver.  It has been engraved with simple scrollwork, making it functional yet stylish.  It looks as if it could contain about three cigars.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: black ceramic mug
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a ceramic mug.  It is glazed black, and would be ideal to hold coffee.  Written in white letters:  I Love Coffee!

appraise_text:
The black ceramic mug is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: tiny mug
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a really small ceramic mug, no bigger than a shot glass.  It is glazed black and would be ideal to hold coffee.  Written in white letters:  I Love Coffee!

appraise_text:
The tiny mug is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, four items, or about 1 shot.


item_name: black leather wristwatch
appraise_text: It is made of leather and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a black leather wristwatch, with a silver face and elegant golden hands that slowly count down the hours and minutes.  The time reads: 3:54am, Monday 13th June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: brown leather wristwatch
appraise_text: It is made of leather and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a brown leather wristwatch, with a silver face and elegant golden hands that slowly count down the hours and seconds.  The time reads: 3:54am, Monday 13th June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: brass pocketwatch
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 90 g
description:
This is an elegant brass pocketwatch.  It takes the form of an oval of brass, within which is the face of the watch itself.  Such watches are suitable for keeping in a pocket and removing only when one wishes to see the time.  They're usually too heavy to wear on a wrist, and in any case, they don't have a strap to make such an arrangement comfortable.  It is closed.


item_name: silver pocketwatch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 93 g
description:
This is an elegant silver pocketwatch.  It takes the form of an oval of silver, within which is the face of the watch itself.  Such watches are suitable for keeping in a pocket and removing only when one wishes to see the time.  They're usually too heavy to wear on a wrist, and in any case, they don't have a strap to make such an arrangement comfortable.  It is closed.


item_name: chunky silver wristwatch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a chunky silver wristwatch, with a thick silver strap that comprises of a number of thick silver bars on a thinner strap also made from silver.  The time reads: 3:54am, Monday 13th June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: gold pocketwatch
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 95 g
description:
This is an elegant golden pocketwatch.  It takes the form of an oval of gold, within which is the face of the watch itself.  Such watches are suitable for keeping in a pocket and removing only when one wishes to see the time.  They're usually too heavy to wear on a wrist, and in any case, they don't have a strap to make such an arrangement comfortable.  It is closed.


item_name: red leather wristwatch
appraise_text: It is made of leather and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a red leather wristwatch, with a silver face and elegant golden hands that slowly count down the hours and seconds.  The time reads: 3:55am, Monday 13th June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: silver link watch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a slender silver watch, its flexible band formed from interlocked links of solid silver.  The face is ivory, and the circle of silver surrounding it has been skillfully engraved with a motif of gracefully leaping fish.  The time reads twenty past three.


item_name: elegant silver wristwatch
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is an elegant silver wristwatch.  The strap is thin and delicate, with a small round face upon which the hands have been tooled in thin black.  The time reads: 3:54am, Monday 13th June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: ivory silk veil
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This sheer gossamer veil hovers in front of the wearer's face like a translucent mist, barely concealing the features behind it, from the bridge of the nose downwards.  It is bound in a slender white silk braid along the top edge, which trails off into small silver clasps that secure the veil in the wearer's hair.  Tiny white diamonds dangle from the bottom edge to weight the fabric, and to guard against it blowing aside in an errant breeze.  The gleaming silk of the veil lays a shimmering glow across the features that are left uncovered, and serves to enhance the eyes, lending them an air of youth and innocence.

appraise_text:
The ivory silk veil is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is ivory and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: chunky gold wristwatch
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a chunky gold wristwatch, with a thick golden strap that comprises of a number of thick golden bars on a thinner strap also made from gold.  The time reads: 3:55am, Monday 13th June Prime, UC 2039.


item_name: ribbon charm bracelet
weight: 25 g
description:
A long strip of multicoloured silk with a number of gold jump rings threaded onto it that could be wrapped around your wrist and worn as a charm bracelet.

appraise_text:
It is made of ribbon and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: tiny bean-frog
appraise_text: The tiny bean-frog is not very long and not very wide. It is made of beans.
weight: 5 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
This is a bean that has grown to resemble a small frog.  Her tiny legs cuddle close to her minute body while her miniature hands come forward slightly to grasp a dwarfed lotus blossom.  Magically, she retains her lovely green hue.  She also seems to have kept in all her sunlight.  Curious!


item_name: silver charm bracelet
description: A delicate charm bracelet, each narrow silver link engraved with a sinuous vine pattern.
weight: 25 g
appraise_text:
It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: silver snowflake bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate silver bracelet made up of many tiny intricate silver filigree snowflakes linked together.  No two snowflakes are alike, each differing in the intertwining of the fine silver filigree.  As the wearer moves the tiny snowflakes brush against each other and create a sound that is almost like snow falling.


item_name: silver viper bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
The finest silver has been fashioned into the likeness of a venomous pit viper, designed to clasp tightly around the wrist.  The tail wraps around to meets the head, complete with fangs and forked tongue.


item_name: friendly hairy caterpillar
appraise_text: You appraise the friendly hairy caterpillar and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
This long, wriggly, squiggly caterpillar, speckled in black and green, is really very very very hairy indeed, with bristly tufts sticking up from her back.  Her little feet are quite the cutest things, and she has tiny little waggly bobbly antennae too, and she seems like she would be quite content to amble about on your shoulder if you picked her up and wore her.


item_name: quartz crystal
appraise_text: Rocky as a mineral.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Long and smooth, this clear quartz is about the size of a baby's pinky-finger.  It shines and sparkles in the available light.


item_name: smoky quartz pebble
appraise_text: Rocky as a mineral.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Rounded and smooth, this translucent pebble is about the size of a baby's palm.  It seems to be filled with grey-brown smoke, shining and sparkling in the available light.


item_name: large amethyst navel stud
appraise_text: It is made of steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
A slim steel bar holds this large cushion-cut stone securely in one's navel, scattering glints of light sharded from the deepest red to the deepest blue across the surrounding skin.


item_name: clockwork band
appraise_text: It is made of electrum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Simple, yet elegant.  Etched on a reticulated electrum ring, eldritch runes supply the power used by the inner clockwork gears.  The latticework is so fine, it allows for a visual of the inner workings of this masterpiece.  Tiny, delicate gears hum and whistle ever so quietly as they keep stunningly accurate time.  An octarine shimmer washes across the ancient runes.


item_name: lead false nose
appraise_text: It is made of lead and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 20 g
description:
This is a cunningly-sculpted prosthetic nose made of lead; it could be glued onto your face to replace a nose lost in some kind of... unfortunate accident.  


item_name: [stone] ring
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This brilliant blue ring has been carved out of smooth [stone] by an expert hand.  The finely facetted stone is a delight to behold.


item_name: [stone] choker
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This brilliant blue choker is made of small chunks of smooth [stone], carved by an expert hand and suspended at intervals on a fine gold chain.  The finely facetted stone is a delight to behold.


item_name: [stone] bangle
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is an elegant bracelet of warmly glowing [stone] beads, each one cut with little red and deep orange facets by a skilled hand.


item_name: [stone] pendant
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A shard of smooth [stone] has been cut into an interestingly curved shape by a skilled hand, and suspended from a fine gold chain to form this necklace.  The finely carved brilliant blue facets glint softly in the light.


item_name: [stone] brooch
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful globe of [stone] mounted on a small oval of plain gold.  The precious metal sets off the purple-swirled of the stone perfectly, causing its finely carved facets to glint softly.


item_name: [stone] earring
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A shard of smooth [stone] has been cut into an interestingly curved shape by a skilled hand, and suspended from a small gold hook to form this earring.  The finely carved brilliant blue facets glint softly in the light as it swings.


item_name: [stone] anklet
appraise_text: It is made of [stone] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a stylish anklet of glistening [stone] beads, each one cut with little shiny black facets by a skilled hand.


item_name: ankhstone ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 19 g
description:
This heavy red-gold ring has been carefully wrought into an octagonal shape.  One facet has been set with a very large cabochon-cut ankhstone, glimmering in even the smallest scrap of light, and the facets flanking it have been engraved with the runes 'dessen', which protects against misfortune caused by snails, and 'fethun', which guards against attacks by kitchen implements.


item_name: golden mallet necklace
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Small mallets have been strung together by a thin electrum cord.  Each mallet has been etched by masterful hands to show the grain of real wood.  Flakes of ironwood have been added to the design to make the piece seem even more realistic.  This necklace was obviously created for the more masculine of artificers as it lacks any feminine charm of delicate embellishments.  None the less, this is a magnificent piece of artistry.  A shimmer plays across the small mallets.


item_name: hammer and anvil bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a bracelet made of the finest and thinnest silver possible.  The links of this bracelet are tiny and they hold together piping made from brushed silver of the same vein.  The startling shininess of the links contrasts beautifully with the more matte flare of the piping.  On opposite sides of this bracelet are strands of even thinner silver.  On each strand a golden hammer or a golden anvil dangles loosely.  Both are etched perfectly and each displays a relief.  The anvil boasts an iconograph of a workshop, while the hammer presents small runes which glow a slight blue.  Both the hammer and the anvil glow subtly in the octarine.


item_name: darkened pendant
appraise_text: It is made of octiron and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
One-more-than-seven small chains make up the necklace part of this pendant.  All of the chains have been created from a type of darkened and arabesque octiron.  The craftsmanship of merely the chains is extraordinary, alas, it's the gothic-like pendant itself that captures the eye.  Hanging from the long chain is a small nine-missing-one sided box.  Each side of the small box has a hole by which a single polished ruby is being held captive yet exposed.  Around each revelation, mystic runes have been etched thereby keeping the ruby from escaping.  Hanging from the bottom of the small gulag is another, much shorter chain from which a small hammer hangs.  The small ruby sparkles unnaturally.


item_name: diamond tipped graving tool
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a short, sharp length of tool steel, set in a polished oak handle.  The fine tip glitters with an incredibly hard and sharp splinter of diamond - it could probably be used to engrave text or patterns on anything hard enough.

appraise_text:
The diamond tipped graving tool is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: silvery blue graving tool
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a short, sharp length of silvery blue metal, set in a polished oak handle.  It could probably be used to engrave text or patterns on anything hard enough.  Engraved on the shaft are the staff and crossed hammers of the Academy of Artificers.

appraise_text:
The silvery blue graving tool is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of octiron alloy and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: steel graving tool
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a short, sharp length of tool steel, set in a plain oak handle.  It could probably be used to engrave text or patterns on anything that's hard enough to keep the pattern and no harder than it is.

appraise_text:
The steel graving tool is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: jeweller's polishing cloth
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This soft cloth can be used to polish jewellery and gemstones to a lustrous shine, removing every last vestige of roughness.

appraise_text:
The jeweller's polishing cloth is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of linen and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: roll of jeweller's files
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This soft canvas roll contains a dozen tiny, delicate files made from hardened Gebra steel and a sturdy oak handle for them.  Used in goldsmithing and similar work, the variety means that any surface or corner - even the most complex or arcane - can be smoothed or rounded to the smith's desire.  It also has a handy pocket for a polishing cloth.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The roll of jeweller's files is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of canvas and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: steel polishing file
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
A relatively fine-toothed steel file, set in a plain oak handle, this tool can be used to polish unwanted engraving away from metal items.  It will leave the workpiece damaged, but not badly so.

appraise_text:
The steel polishing file is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: silver thistle necklace
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This fine silver chain holds two delicate thistles entwined together.  It looks fragile, but is extremely strong.


item_name: pair of cherry wood headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of cherry wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from cherry wood depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in rubies, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: fake horse poo
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This round lumpy object is clearly supposed to represent horse manure, presumably for the tricking and grossification of any and all observers.  Sadly it is so obviously fake that all it might achieve is a snigger aimed at its owner.

appraise_text:
The fake horse poo is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pair of tarnished silver headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of tarnished silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from tarnished silver depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in bits of coloured glass, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: pair of crystal headless horse earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These cute little earrings made from crystal depict tiny terrifying headless horses, one on each ear.  Each horse's hooves are picked out in bits of rose quartz, and if they had faces you just know they'd be glaring.


item_name: miniature broomstick
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This tiny model broomstick fits neatly in the palm of your hand.  It looks like it could be wound up to some purpose.

appraise_text:
The miniature broomstick is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: horse ears headband
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This headband is simply a piece of black fabric with two horse ears sewn on top.  It can be worn on the head to serve the dual purpose of holding hair off the face and making the wearer look silly.

appraise_text:
The horse ears headband is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of cloth and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of pink leather kitten-heeled shoes
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
Soft, supple leather slippers perch on a slender kitten heel, fastened with a thin strap around the wearer's ankle, and held closed by a dainty silver buckle.  The leather is a particularly strong shade of pink, somewhere between sunset over the Circle Sea and the Patrician's rose gardens.

appraise_text:
The pair of pink leather kitten-heeled shoes is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: elegant silver corset
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
With broad smooth straps and a low sweetheart neckline, this elegant cloth-of-silver corset shows off dark skin and a slender waist to perfection.  The edges are accentuated with discreet embroidery in shimmering rose gold silk, forming a twisting, curling abstract design.  Matching ribbon laces it closed, falling with an air of studied abandon from a complex knot at the small of the wearer's back.  The elegant silver corset has one cleavage pocket.

appraise_text:
The elegant silver corset is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is silver and is made of silver and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: gold and mahogany ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and mahogany and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This is a broad gold band inlaid with a smaller red mahogany band, the surface of the lacquered wood flush with the metal edges.  The simplicity of the design places the bentwood mahogany in centre stage, tastefully displaying the grain of the wood.


item_name: garland of dried roses
appraise_text: It is made of dried roses and silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Early in the Century of the Three Lice, Quirmian society was seized by a fever of Islebrunomania.  The fashions of the Brown Islands (as reimagined through slightly daring Quirmian eyes) became the fashions of high society, and both respectable matrons and daring debutantes were seen in public wearing dresses of dried grass and wildflowers, sometimes over only three or even two layers of foundation garments.  This garland is a rare survival from that period, and would have been worn at a society wedding; the fashion was for the bride's family to gather roses and weave them through a silver chain into a garland.  It has clearly been well loved, and put up safely in silk and tissue paper.  Though the once vibrant reds have faded to soft pinks and warm greys, its rich scents have only warmed and mellowed with time.


item_name: antique cabbage walking stick
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Lightweight but sturdy, this stick has a gilded handle and a brass ferrule.  The only unusual aspect of its construction is that it has been made from the carefully dried and seasoned stem of a variety of tree cabbage.  These sticks are rarely made any more, since the particular variety of cabbage used has been rendered almost extinct after it attempted to take over the island farm where it was grown and institute a syndicalist collective.

appraise_text:
The antique cabbage walking stick is about three feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: set of silk underwear
description: This stuff feels great against your skin. It slithers and wombles and makes you feel really nice.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
Some silk underwear is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it. 


item_name: brass-bound engraving pattern book
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
This small, square book has been covered with thin brass and engraved with abstract patterns resembling vines.  On the front cover, the staff-and-crossed-hammers symbol of the Academy sits in low relief.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed brass-bound engraving pattern book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: elemental engraving pattern book
weight: between 1/9 lb and 2/9 lb
description:
This sleek book has been decorated with a print of engraved flames on the cover.  Compiled between its pages are five engraving patterns representing the elements.  Each of these superb patterns suits those with a moderate degree of engraving aptitude.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed elemental engraving pattern book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: goldsmith's pattern book
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
description:
This hefty leather-bound tome has been tooled with images of forge and anvil, and decorated with gold leaf.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed goldsmith's pattern book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: swansdown quill
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This quill is small and delicate, its upper half shrouded in a soft fuzz of down.  Looking at the tiny threads, stirring with every breath from the writer's lips, one could almost believe that nothing hurtful or bad could ever pass to paper from the tiny, artfully curved nib.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The swansdown quill is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of feather and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: pair of crystal and filigree earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a delicately crafted pair of earrings, made of twisted silver filigree and scattered beads of glittering crystal.  Each one curls down in a series of arching curls to almost brush the wearer's shoulder, glowing softly against one's throat.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of elegant crystal earrings
appraise_text: It is none and is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate creation of crystal and filigree, which swoops down to almost brush the shoulder with its soft silver strands.  Not far beneath the earlobe hangs a small droplet of crystal, below which swing long, elegant tufts of silver.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of crystal rose earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
Fine, frosted crystal has been expertly carved into many tiny petals, forming a pair of softly glittering roses in full bloom.  Backing each flower are two lightly veined rose leaves, complete with gently serrated edges.  Each rose is suspended from an elegant length of knotted silver filigree, which hints at the thorned rose stem.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of crystal bubble earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
Each of these earrings is a cluster of tiny hollow bubbles blown from glittering crystal.  They hover lightly above the shoulder, as if about to either pop or detach themselves and float away with a message for some distant friend.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of crystal acorn earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
Each of these smooth, rounded earrings is in the shape of an acorn, carved of glittering crystal.  The cap is frosted over and pitted like that of a real acorn, while the nut is clear and carved in two gently curving facets.  A fey aura seems to cling to it.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of crystal teardrop earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a gracefully elongated teardrop earring, made of glittering crystal.  It has been chipped into careful facets, so that it appears almost perfectly rounded and throws myriad tiny glints of light over the neck and throat of the wearer.  It seems to want to cover other people with sparkles, too.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of crystal earrings
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This is a delicate pair of earrings, made of glittering crystal.  Each is made of three small octagonal beads, the lowest dwarfing the two above it, strung together with twisted silver filigree.  The tiny facets seem to sparkle and dance as they move.  They seem to be strangely sensitive to the warmth of other people.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: pair of [type] moon dragon earrings
appraise_text: It is made of [type] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These flimsy little earrings made from [type] depict tiny filigree moon dragons in flight, one on each ear.  Looking out from the earlobe cheekily with their eyes made from tiny ankhstones, the dragons know very well that they sit in safety on the wearer's head and their little grins match.  Each dragon's slender little tail curls up about the ear as if to cuddle any stray locks of hair.


item_name: old broken watch
appraise_text: It is made of leather and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a very old watch, whose reliability is questionable to say the very least.  It looks like it has been through a fair share of adventures and possibly a meat grinder.  The face is scratched, the casing is mangled, and the innards are probably lacking a cog or two.  The time is somewhere around: 4:12am.


item_name: pewter tankard
weight: 1lb
description:
A hearty pewter tankard, this large vessel looks like the ideal equipment for a good night's quaffing.  Such an item could be used to commemorate the best of times or, failing that, simply remind you who you are after a particularly indulgent evening.

appraise_text:
It is made of some unidentifiable material and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about forty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: silver dragon fountain pen
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Long and slim, this fine silver pen is shaped to resemble an extremely lifelike dragon, open jaws clutching a glittering crystal.  The folded wings sit just above the writer's hand, and the scale-engraved spiny tail stretches down to end in a fine nib.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The silver dragon fountain pen is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: jewelled stick pin
appraise_text: It is made of steel, diamond and ruby and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The four-inch shaft of this pin is surmounted by a faceted ruby, a full quarter of an inch in diameter and encircled by tiny diamonds.  The needle-sharp point makes it perfect to stick into a tie or a cravat.


item_name: formal black skirt
description: This is a formal black skirt. It is well made and rather stylish in an odd sort of way.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The formal black skirt is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of chunky gold cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
No gentleman would dream of wearing shirts with buttoned wrists, so cufflinks serve the purpose much more stylishly.  This particular set have large, chunky gold squares, showing the wearer to be a gentleman of taste and money.


item_name: pair of black onyx cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
No gentleman would dream of wearing shirts with buttoned wrists, so cufflinks serve the purpose much more stylishly.  This particular set have large cabochon-cut onyx facings, showing the wearer to be a gentleman of taste and money, and would look very stylish with a light-coloured shirt.


item_name: pewter trophy
weight: 2lb
description:
This is an attractive trophy cup, made from the finest pewter and polished to a high sheen.  The perfect award for high achievement in any field, this would instill pride and satisfaction in any owner.  It has two large curved handles for displaying it to cheering crowds, and a convenient lid for holding all the champagne in.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
It is made of some unidentifiable material and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, twelve items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: pair of mother of pearl cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
No gentleman would dream of wearing shirts with buttoned wrists, so cufflinks serve the purpose much more stylishly.  This particular set is faced with two large ovals of mother-of-pearl, showing the wearer to be a gentleman of taste and money, and would look fantastic with a dark shirt.


item_name: pewter goblet
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate pewter goblet, so tall and elegant that it is almost impossible to ever imagine it being used.  The stem has been engraved with an abstract pattern which peters out towards the main bowl.  This would be a beautiful item with which to preserve a cherished memory.

appraise_text:
It is made of some unidentifiable material and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: pewter false nose
appraise_text: It is made of pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 20 g
description:
This is a cunningly-sculpted prosthetic nose made of pewter; it could be glued onto your face to replace a nose lost in some kind of... unfortunate accident.  


item_name: horseshoe keyring
weight: 5 g
description:
This is a perfectly ordinary keyring, to which someone has attached a small pewter horseshoe, probably to bring good luck.  Then again, considering how much things in your pocket get jostled about, the luck would probably all fall out and get in one of your riding boots.

appraise_text:
It is made of steel and pewter and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or fifteen items.


item_name: white horse t-shirt
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This baggy black cotton T-shirt has been cheaply printed with the image of a powerful white stallion, charging out of the surf.

appraise_text:
The white horse t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: traditional suit
weight: about six pounds
description:
The traditional suit is priced at A$78 and consists of a pair of black wool trousers with braid side trim and a black wool two-button dinner jacket.


item_name: morning suit
weight: about five pounds
description:
The morning suit is priced at A$85 and consists of a pair of black wool trousers with braid side trim and a charcoal grey morning jacket.


item_name: black velvet tails
weight: about five pounds
description:
The black velvet tails is priced at A$100 and consists of a pair of black velvet trousers and a black velvet coat and tails.


item_name: elegant ivory suit
weight: about four pounds
description:
The elegant ivory suit is priced at A$125 and consists of a pair of elegant ivory suit trousers and an elegant ivory four-button suit jacket.


item_name: Wizard's formal attire
weight: about four pounds
description:
The Wizard's formal attire is priced at A$55 and consists of a formal black velvet sash and a gaudy formal wizard's robe.


item_name: dark grey moleskin tails
weight: about four pounds
description:
The dark grey moleskin tails is priced at A$80 and consists of a pair of dark grey dress trousers and a dark grey dress tails jacket.


item_name: black velvet dress suit
weight: about five pounds
description:
The black velvet dress suit is priced at A$110 and consists of a black velvet dress jacket and a pair of black velvet dress trousers.


item_name: Palace Guard dress attire
weight: about five pounds
description:
The Palace Guard dress attire is priced at A$120 and consists of a formal Palace Guards' dinner jacket and a pair of formal Palace Guards' dress trousers.


item_name: formal Barbarian attire
weight: about four pounds
description:
The formal Barbarian attire is priced at A$30 and consists of a barbarian harness and a formal zebra hide loincloth.


item_name: Highland kilt and jacket
weight: about four pounds
description:
The Highland kilt and jacket is priced at A$100 and consists of a black linen dinner jacket and a formal tartan kilt.


item_name: Klatchian Foreign Legion dress attire
weight: about four pounds
description:
The Klatchian Foreign Legion dress attire is priced at A$125 and consists of a formal Klatchian Foreign Legion dress jacket and a pair of Klatchian Foreign Legion dress trousers.


item_name: formal Klatchian Foreign Legion dress jacket
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a khaki coloured dress jacket, of the sort usually worn by officers in the Klatchian Foreign Legion (as long as they can remember where they left it) on formal occasions.  The buttons are brass and highly polished.  It looks lightweight, helping to keep the wearer cool in even the hottest desert soiree.  The formal Klatchian Foreign Legion dress jacket has one left pocket, one right breast pocket, one right pocket and one left breast pocket.

appraise_text:
The formal Klatchian Foreign Legion dress jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is khaki and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: pair of Klatchian Foreign Legion dress trousers
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of lightweight khaki dress trousers, of the sort worn by officers in the Klatchian Foreign Legion (at least when they remember they are officers).  They have a strip of pale beige linen running down the sides of the legs.

appraise_text:
The pair of Klatchian Foreign Legion dress trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is khaki and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black linen dinner jacket
weight: 1lb
description:
This is a black dinner jacket, made from linen with a row of brass buttons down the front and up the arms.  It is very smart, and would be ideal for any formal occasion.  The black linen dinner jacket has one left pocket and one right pocket.

appraise_text:
The black linen dinner jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: formal tartan kilt
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a formal kilt, made from heavy-wearing tartan-patterned linen.  It would be ideal for those hailing from the Ramtops, where this kind of clothing originates, or indeed just those wishing to create that impression.

appraise_text:
The formal tartan kilt is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is blue and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: formal zebra hide loincloth
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is an elegantly crafted hide loincloth, ideal for a Barbarian to wear to a formal occasion while still acknowledging his roots.  Black and white zebra hide has been used to allow the wearer to melt in with the dinner jacket-wearing crowd.

appraise_text:
The formal zebra hide loincloth is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: formal Palace Guards' dinner jacket
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a black dinner jacket, of the sort worn by officers of the Palace Guard during formal occasions.  The arms are traced with gold braiding, while there is gold lace around the cuffs.  Shiny brass buttons run beside each of the lapels, which are made from gold-coloured satin.  The formal Palace Guards' dinner jacket has one left pocket and one right pocket.

appraise_text:
The formal Palace Guards' dinner jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: pair of formal Palace Guards' dress trousers
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of black trousers, of the sort worn by officers of the Palace Guard at formal occasions.  They are made from fine linen, with ornate gold trim running down the leg.

appraise_text:
The pair of formal Palace Guards' dress trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black velvet dress jacket
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a finely crafted dress jacket, cut from black velvet to create a chic garment that would suit even the most fastidious of Assassin's wardrobe.  It is lined with dark grey silk, a material that is echoed on the lapels, while the velvet itself is of an undescribable shade of black that sometimes appears darkest red, sometimes as blue as the deepest ocean, sometimes purple as a purple thing that looks almost black.

appraise_text:
The black velvet dress jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: pair of black velvet dress trousers
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of finely crafted black velvet dress trousers, of the sort worn to formal occasions.  The only truly black part of them is the silk trim running down the leg, with the rest almost appearing to change colour as you look - sometimes appearing dark purple, sometimes blackish-green, sometimes deepest blue.

appraise_text:
The pair of black velvet dress trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of dark grey dress trousers
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of dark grey trousers, made from moleskin.  Despite being cut to a formal style, it is in fact quite a practical garment, at least for those professions requiring ease of movement and the ability to hide in the shadows.

appraise_text:
The pair of dark grey dress trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is dark grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: dark grey dress tails jacket
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a dark grey dress tails jacket, made from moleskin with light grey silk lining.  It is not standard evening wear, being dark grey rather than the traditional black, but would allow the wearer to meld into the shadows more easily than a completely black garment.  The dark grey dress tails jacket has one left pocket, one right pocket and one secret pocket.

appraise_text:
The dark grey dress tails jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is dark grey and is made of moleskin and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: formal black velvet sash
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a well-made sash made from black velvet.  Impressive-looking symbols have been embroidered onto it in multicoloured threads, while omegas have been formed from sequins at each end.  Very impressive, yet gaudy - typical formal wear for a wizard in other words.

appraise_text:
The formal black velvet sash is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: gaudy formal wizard's robe
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a robe of a type normally worn by a wizard to a formal occasion.  It is covered in occult symbols made out of sequins, and has fancy gold embroidery in the few areas that would have otherwise have been bare.  The lapels are particularily impressive, made from red satin, and embroidered with crimson thread to form various swirling, interlacing designs of great occult significance.  Or just ones that the seamstress thought would be pretty.  The gaudy formal wizard's robe has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The gaudy formal wizard's robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: pair of elegant ivory suit trousers
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of elegant ivory-coloured cotton trousers designed to make up a two-piece suit.  The quality of the tailorship turns what might have otherwise been a fairly plain white piece of clothing into a dapper garment.

appraise_text:
The pair of elegant ivory suit trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is ivory and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: elegant ivory four-button suit jacket
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a classically cut suit jacket made from ivory cotton, ideal to give a clean yet elegant appearance.  It has a row of buttons made from the same fabric running down the front.  The elegant ivory four-button suit jacket has one left pocket and one right pocket.

appraise_text:
The elegant ivory four-button suit jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is ivory and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: charcoal grey morning jacket
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a morning jacket made from dark charcoal grey wool.  It has a single button, from which the material is cut away in a dramatic curve, and is lined with pearl-grey silk.  It is traditionally worn by the groom on his wedding day.  The charcoal grey morning jacket has one inside pocket and one breast pocket.

appraise_text:
The charcoal grey morning jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is charcoal grey and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: pair of black wool trousers with braid side trim
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
These black wool trousers fit comfortably.  They sport the traditional narrow braid of trim down the side of the trouser legs.

appraise_text:
The pair of black wool trousers with braid side trim is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black wool two-button dinner jacket
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This classic black wool two-buttoned dinner jacket is accented by a narrow shawl collar in black velvet.  The deeply cuffed sleeves have three large self-covered buttons.

appraise_text:
The black wool two-button dinner jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: traditional ensemble
description:
The traditional ensemble is priced at A$180 and consists of a pair of traditional black formal shoes, a pair of black silk evening socks, a stiff white bow-tie, a crisp plain-front white shirt, a black brocade vest, a pair of black wool trousers with braid side trim and a black wool two-button dinner jacket.


item_name: elegant ivory ensemble
description:
The elegant ivory ensemble is priced at A$200 and consists of a pair of white dress shoes, a pair of white silk socks, a white tie, a white silk shirt, an ivory silk waistcoat, a pair of elegant ivory suit trousers and an elegant ivory four-button suit jacket.


item_name: Assassin's ensemble
description:
The Assassin's ensemble is priced at A$185 and consists of a black velvet dress jacket, a pair of black velvet dress trousers, a black silk cummerbund, an embroidered brocade vest, a black silk top hat, a pair of traditional black formal shoes, a black silk shirt, a pair of black silk evening socks and a black silk cravat.


item_name: Thief's ensemble
description:
The Thief's ensemble is priced at A$150 and consists of a thin black mask, a black flat cap, a black and white hooped waistcoat, a black bow-tie, a pair of dark grey dress trousers, a dark grey dress tails jacket, a pair of black leather shoes, a pair of black wool socks and a starched white shirt.


item_name: Wizard's ensemble
description:
The Wizard's ensemble is priced at A$70 and consists of a pointy wizard's hat, a pair of white silk socks, a pair of pointy wizard shoes, a formal black velvet sash and a gaudy formal wizard's robe.


item_name: Palace Guard ensemble
description:
The Palace Guard ensemble is priced at A$220 and consists of a formal Palace Guards' dinner jacket, a pair of formal Palace Guards' dress trousers, a black silk cummerbund, a ruffled dress shirt, a pair of traditional black formal shoes, a pair of black silk evening socks and a black silk bow-tie.


item_name: Highland ensemble
description:
The Highland ensemble is priced at A$150 and consists of a black linen dinner jacket, a formal tartan kilt, a ruffled dress shirt, a pair of traditional black formal shoes, a pair of black silk evening socks, a black silk bow-tie, a fancy leather sporran and a white heather and thistle buttonhole.


item_name: Barbarian ensemble
description:
The Barbarian ensemble is priced at A$60 and consists of a skull-design buckle and belt, a fluffy cloak, a black bow-tie, a pair of furry boots, a barbarian harness and a formal zebra hide loincloth.


item_name: Klatchian Foreign Legion ensemble
description:
The Klatchian Foreign Legion ensemble is priced at A$150 and consists of a formal Klatchian Foreign Legion dress jacket, a pair of Klatchian Foreign Legion dress trousers, a braided leather belt, a black cotton kepi, a pair of brown leather shoes, a pair of white silk socks and a starched white shirt.


item_name: Uberwaldean top hat and tails ensemble
description:
The Uberwaldean top hat and tails ensemble is priced at A$150 and consists of a pair of vampire fangs, a black silk top hat, a pair of traditional black formal shoes, a pair of black silk evening socks, a black silk bow-tie, a white silk shirt, a black velvet waistcoat, a pair of black velvet trousers and a black velvet coat and tails.


item_name: Klatchian ensemble
description:
The Klatchian ensemble is priced at A$70 and consists of a pair of formal cream mojaris, a pair of long white socks, a pair of white pyjama bottoms, a white cotton kurta, a formal embroidered linen sherwani and a white linen turban.


item_name: Agatean ensemble
description:
The Agatean ensemble is priced at A$90 and consists of a black silk fundoshi, a pair of white silk socks, a pair of expensive zori, a black obi and a formal black silk kimono.


item_name: small champagne bottle
description: An expensive-looking bottle of champagne, just right to celebrate being on Discworld.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Given to new players on character creation.
appraise_text:
The small champagne bottle is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill. 


item_name: black and white hooped waistcoat
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a black and white hooped waistcoat, made from thin wool.  Although most gentlemen would not dream of wearing such a thing to a formal occasion, it would be ideal for a member of the Thieves' Guild who needs to look smart (even if it is just to pilfer something valuable).  The black and white hooped waistcoat has one watch pocket and one secret pocket.

appraise_text:
The black and white hooped waistcoat is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or ten items.


item_name: champagne bottle
weight: between 8/9 lb and 1lb
description:
This is an expensive-looking green champagne bottle, ideal to celebrate something (or indeed just for fun).  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The champagne bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: guest book
appraise_text: The closed guest book is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: between 1 1/9 lb and 1 2/9 lb
description:
This is a large, leather-bound book designed for happy couples to record the names of their guests in.  It has a bouquet of roses shown on the front.  It is closed.


item_name: flute glass
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a tall, thin, flute glass, of the sort usually used to serve sparkling wine in the more refined pubs and restaurants.

appraise_text:
The flute glass is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: second-hand nipple ring
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
A tiny, delicate steel ring pierces the wearer's nipple, and a second hooks onto it to let the three-inch brass clock hand - slim, elegant, barbed, and fretted - attached to it swing freely.


item_name: flowing black dress
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This dress is majestic and beautiful, that has streams of fabric that flow like black liquid in the wind.  Gold and silver stitching give a stunning contrast to the deep richness of the velvety black.  The flowing black dress has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The flowing black dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: Dysk keyring
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring consists of a metal ring, attached to a cute little model of the Dysk Theatre in Ankh-Morpork.  You could use it to put keys on.


item_name: Hwel quill
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a fine quill pen that was apparently once used by Hwel himself.  Now you too can write your own works of incredible genius!  The nib glistens with scratchy black ink.

appraise_text:
The Hwel quill is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: lollipop
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
The lollipop consists of a small, round piece of candy, moulded on to a stick.  Very substantial, I'm sure.


item_name: Dysk shotglass
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a high quality shotglass, ideal for a measure of spirit to be consumed from.  There is a little picture of the Dysk theatre etched into the glass.

appraise_text:
The Dysk shotglass is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, four items, or about 1 shot.


item_name: old brass cogwheel earring
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 6 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Only about a quarter of an inch across, this old brass cogwheel has been fitted with a slim steel bar to hold it securely in the wearer's earlobe.  The face of the wheel has been intricately engraved with smaller cogwheels, and perhaps if you could see in such detail the pointillistic detail of the engraving might turn out to be smaller cogwheels still... It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: magnificent silver ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Quite broad and heavy, this ring with its huge faceted blue stone is clearly very magical.  The sigils engraved around the band attest to that, and the colour of the stone shifts from moment to moment - from the clear blue of a Genuan sky to the deep blue of a Ramtop twilight.  It emits a slight octarine glow.


item_name: rose quartz pebble
appraise_text: The rose quartz pebble is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of crystal.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Found searching the AoA gardens.
description:
Rounded and smooth, this translucent pebble is about the size of a baby's palm.  It seems to be filled with rosy mist, shining and sparkling in the available light.


item_name: green colouring book
weight: 77 g
description:
Covered in bright shiny green card with a cheerful picture of a delicate flower fairy holding a bright blue crayon and a miniature version of the same book, this book will bring hours of fun to any child, from six to sixty.  Crayons are not recommended for children below the age of six, due to potentially unpleasant consequences for digestive systems and furniture.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed green colouring book is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is green and is made of paper.


item_name: purple colouring book
weight: 77 g
description:
Covered in bright shiny purple card with a cheerful picture of a huge jolly elephant holding a black crayon and a miniature version of the same book, this book will bring hours of fun to any child, from six to sixty.  Crayons are not recommended for children below the age of six, due to potentially unpleasant consequences for digestive systems and furniture.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed purple colouring book is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is purple and is made of paper.


item_name: yellow colouring book
weight: 77 g
description:
Covered in bright shiny yellow card with a cheerful picture of a happy-looking dog holding a bright pink crayon and a miniature version of the same book, this book will bring hours of fun to any child, from six to sixty.  Crayons are not recommended for children below the age of six, due to potentially unpleasant consequences for digestive systems and furniture.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed yellow colouring book is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is yellow and is made of paper.


item_name: blue cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small piece of cheese with a blue-green colouring to it.  It is imported from overseas and considered quite a delicacy but you could probably achieve the same effect by taking a piece of ordinary cheese and dipping it in the Ankh.


item_name: sand licence
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a licence giving you the right to have sand on or near you while in Klatch.  There doesn't seem to be authenticity markings on the licence but it could be real.

appraise_text:
The sand licence is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: addict-o-meter
appraise_text: The addict-o-meter is about nine inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of copper.
weight: 1lb
description:
This is a jet-black box roughly the size of a dehydrated human head.  Two ergonomic handles protrude from the sides.  There is a small hinged hatch on the top of the box.  There are some operating instructions on the back.


item_name: Lancre Blackheart apple
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a Lancre Blackheart apple. It is a big, fat, red fruit, so dark in colour that it's almost maroon.  They are sweet and sugary, and are used in scumble to give it a sweeter aftertaste.  Biting one of these will make it drip a wickedly sweet syrupy juice, delicious all by itself.


item_name: blue leather-bound book
weight: between 7/9 lb and 8/9 lb
description:
Covered in sky blue leather and bound with strong threads, this book is built to survive the roughest treatment.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed blue leather-bound book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is blue and is made of paper.


item_name: ten-sided die
description: This is a die nicely carved from ivory. It has ten sides.
weight: between 3 g and 4 g
appraise_text:
The ten-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pot of bubble mixture
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pot of bubble mixture.  It contains a slightly soapy substance.  There is a wire loop stuck to the side.  Pulling the loop would probably make it come off.

appraise_text:
The pot of bubble mixture is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: twelve-sided die
description: This is a die nicely carved from ivory. It has twelve sides.
weight: between 3 g and 4 g
appraise_text:
The twelve-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: squirting flower
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a yellow flower with red petals, made out of cloth.  A tiny tube connects it to a small water-filled bellow.  Interesting...

appraise_text:
The squirting flower is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: six-sided die
description: This is a die nicely carved from ivory. It has six sides.
weight: between 3 g and 4 g
appraise_text:
The six-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: one hundred-sided die
description: This is a die nicely carved from ivory. It has one hundred sides.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The one hundred-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: cheerful sparkly pink notepad
weight: 110 g
description:
The thin pink cardboard covering this little spiral-bound notebook has been thickly dusted with pretty sparkly glitter.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed cheerful sparkly pink notepad is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: twenty-sided die
description: This is a die nicely carved from ivory. It has twenty sides.
weight: between 3 g and 4 g
appraise_text:
The twenty-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pair of googly eyed glasses
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of googly eyed glasses.  They consist of a pair of frames with eyeballs on springs glued onto the front.  When they are worn the eyes pop out and look very amusing...well some people will laugh at anything.

appraise_text:
The pair of googly eyed glasses is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: set of chattering teeth
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a set of teeth and gums that has been carved from wood and painted.  They don't look particularly realistic and it is not very obvious of what use they could be.  Of course, there is a small winder on the side, probably possible to use to wind the teeth with.

appraise_text:
The set of chattering teeth is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pink glitter-filled pen
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Gaudy, pink and distracting, this glitter filled pen is the exact writing implement that most parents will buy their teenage daughter for her first day of middle school.  Made from a thin tube of clear glass, and filled with an unknown liquid through which the glitter moves and swirls, the pen is not especially light or all that easy to write with.  It does, however, have a fake silk flower's blossom glued on the top that smells vaguely of bubblegum.  The pen has a semi flexible pointed nib, used for writing in ladies' hand.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The pink glitter-filled pen is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: colourful crayon tin
weight: 1 4/9 lb
description:
Just big enough for crayons (or maybe pencils if you don't mind the points breaking off) this cheap metal tin has a cheerful picture on the lid showing an implausibly colourful cow (red and blue are implausible colours for a cow, after all) grazing in an incredibly green meadow under a cloudless sky with a rayed sun and a semicircular rainbow.  It is closed.  The colourful crayon tin is completely full with a Fushichou fuchsia crayon, a razzle dazzle rose crayon, a baby poo crayon, a black and midnight crayon, a piggy pink crayon, a marmalade orange crayon, a violet crayon, a black crayon, a blue crayon, a white crayon, a yellow crayon and a brown crayon.

appraise_text:
The colourful crayon tin is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of tin and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or twelve items.


item_name: small [colour] envelope
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small [colour] envelope.  It is open.  It has a sticky flap at one end with which you could seal it.

appraise_text:
The small [colour] envelope is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or six items.


item_name: gold nib pen
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This beautiful gold dip pen features intricate spiral engraving and floral outlay in exquisite detail along its length and cap.  The nib itself is made of simple gold, the lack of engraving allowing for smooth writing without distracting from the pure class of the pen.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The gold nib pen is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of gold and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: silver and brass cogwheel bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of brass and silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 35 g
description:
Dozens of cogwheels and gears, welded together to resemble a circular gear train, wrap loosely around the wearer's wrist.


item_name: second-hand navel stud
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 20 g
description:
The second hand from a grandmother clock, barbed and fretted, swings freely from a tiny brass cogwheel in the wearer's navel, held securely in place by a slim steel bar.


item_name: brass cogwheel navel stud
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 20 g
description:
This is a gleaming brass cogwheel, almost an inch across, salvaged from some artificing project or other - or perhaps from an antique clock, for that matter.  A slim steel bar has been welded to the back face, to hold it securely nestled in the wearer's navel.


item_name: pair of gleaming brass cogwheel cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 40 g
description:
Each of these cufflinks is a cogwheel, almost an inch across, salvaged from some artificing project or other - or perhaps from an antique clock, for that matter.  Slim steel bars and toggles make sure they'll hold a gentleman's shirt cuffs firmly together until the moment he needs to roll up his sleeves and get down to work.  Or a lady's, of course.


item_name: pair of tiny brass cogwheel earrings
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
Each of these earrings is a tiny brass cogwheel, no more than a quarter of an inch across, from some delicate artificing project.  A tiny steel pin hooks each one securely into the wearer's earlobe.


item_name: brass cogwheel choker
appraise_text: It is made of brass and silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 75 g
description:
A broad ribbon of woven brass wire, as flexible as silk, wraps closely around the wearer's throat, tying with a pewter-coloured ribbon at the back. A single cogwheel sits at the front, with a pearl at its centre where the gearshaft would have gone.


item_name: minute ring
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 4 g
description:
Made from an antique clock's minute hand, four inches of barbed and fretted brass curved and hammered into a neat circle, this ring fits snugly around a finger and makes quite a statement about the impermanence of time.


item_name: pair of second-hand earrings
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
As the name suggests, each of these earrings is the second hand from a clock - an ornately barbed and fretted spear of brass, three inches long, dangling from the wearer's earlobes.


item_name: pair of artificer's spectacles
appraise_text: It is made of brass and silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The round lenses of these spectacles are held securely in a frame of silver gear trains and mechanisms, each minuscule part outlined in incredible detail.  The arms are cleverly curved brass clock hands, inlaid with arabesques in thread-thin silver wire.


item_name: clockwork hairpin
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 75 g
description:
Not actually a functioning clockwork mechanism, but welded together from discarded parts of one, this hairpin consists of an hour hand - six inches long, slender and gleaming - with a cluster of gears and elliptical cams at the top.


item_name: escapement pendant
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 75 g
description:
Welded in place and eternally frozen between ticks of the cosmic clock, this brass cogwheel-and-pendulum arrangement makes a stylish statement.


item_name: emerald green tunic
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
A loose-fitting tunic made from emerald green linen.  Emblazoned on the chest is the symbol for Genua, a silhouette of a Mardi Gras mask over a stylised diamond.

appraise_text:
The emerald green tunic is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is emerald green and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: strapless black dress with a thigh-high slit
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Made from silky, glossy black satin, this strapless black column dress flares subtly from the hip.  A long slit stretches from the floor-length hem to the wearer's lower thigh, stopping just low enough to avoid showing their stocking tops.

appraise_text:
The strapless black dress with a thigh-high slit is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: elegant black suspender belt
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Simple, elegant, and exquisitely comfortable, this suspender belt fits perfectly.  The thin black silk is exquisitely soft, and the arcs of lace between the six broad straps add just the right touch of prettiness, while the straps themselves hold even the filmiest stockings secure without any risk of embarrassment.  There are a set of discreet pockets inside the belt, for the few tiny things a lady should never, ever be without, and the discreet label inside one hip bears the logo of exclusive Brindisian couturier Delicissima.  The elegant black suspender belt has two secret pockets.

appraise_text:
The elegant black suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: elegant crystal brooch
appraise_text: It is none and is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate creation of plaited silver filigree, which swoops down around in an elegant double curve like a loose, stylish knot.  Nestled in the heart of the curve is an oval of finely facetted crystal.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal rose ring
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
Fine, frosted crystal has been expertly carved into many tiny petals, forming a softly glittering rose in full bloom.  Backing the flower are two lightly veined rose leaves, complete with gently serrated edges, merging into an elegant band of knotted silver filigree, which hints at the thorned rose stem.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal flame ring
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1.25 g
description:
This ring is carved from glittering crystal, with such fine chisel-strokes that the slim band seems almost perfectly rounded.  Running around the outside are carven flames, seeming to dance and flicker with the light reflected from the fine facets.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal rose brooch
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Fine, frosted crystal has been expertly carved into many tiny petals, forming a softly glittering rose in full bloom.  Backing the flower are two lightly veined rose leaves, complete with gently serrated edges.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal loveheart ring
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 4.50 g
description:
This is a delicate ring made of double-plaited filigree.  Set into it is a glittering, gently rounded heart carved from crystal.  It seems to radiate a sweet, loving warmth.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal acorn brooch
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a smooth, rounded brooch in the shape of an acorn, carved of glittering crystal.  The cap is frosted over and pitted like that of a real acorn, while the nut is clear and carved in two gently curving facets.  A fey aura seems to cling to it.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: tiny top hat
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This top hat is only a few inches tall - far too small for a human.  It would probably take a much smaller head for this to not look ridiculous.

appraise_text:
The tiny top hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pound of mature Rincewind
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Commissioned by Archchancellor Ridcully of the Unseen University in order to prove a point, this remarkably potent cheese is definitely an acquired taste.  Given that the potency is due to a liberal combination of Bentinck's Very Peculiar Old Brandy and Wow-Wow Sauce, most people are more than happy to let it be a taste acquired by someone else entirely.


item_name: cylinder of Gadchkall
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This stubby cylinder of pale mustard-coloured cheese is made from camel's milk clotted with yoghurt.  The cheese is quite hard and has a heady, almost sour, taste and fragrance to match.  Naturally, this cheese comes from Klatch.


item_name: sapient pearwood seed
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a tiny seed.  No bigger than your eyeball.  Sleeping happily inside is a little sprout just waiting for an excuse to meet you.  Perhaps in the proper conditions, you could get this seed to grow into something useful.

appraise_text:
The sapient pearwood seed is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: small candied sachet
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small candied sachet constructed mostly of string and sugar.  It's very likely meant to hold very sugary items very safe from sugar imps' sweet teeth.  The sugar coating over the bag crackles lightly in the octarine.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small candied sachet is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: staff with a knob on the end
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is, without a doubt, one of the fabled knobbed staves of wizardly lore.  The fine-grained shaft is inlaid with sigils and runes, and the glistening knob draws all eyes with its eldritch air of barely contained arcane might.  The air around the staff feels slightly greasy, and seems to shimmer and hum with potentiality.  It's also about six inches long and made of toffee.  The knob glimmers in octarine.


item_name: airy candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes your TPA when eaten.
description:
This is a solid candy which is clear in colour.  This small, marble-shaped candy has many tiny clouds floating around within it.  It's hard to decide if it would be more fun to eat this candy, or gaze into it all day long.


item_name: rock candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes your CCC when eaten.
description:
This is a solid candy which is clear in colour.  This small, odd-shaped candy was formed with many tiny, square crystals.  It looks more like a complex stone than a piece of candy.  This piece might go over better if you were a troll.  Or if you at least thought you were a troll.


item_name: rainbow candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes all your HEB shielding types at once when eaten.
description:
This is a solid candy that is vibrantly coloured with all the shades of a rainbow.  Peering closely, you think you can see a flying unicorn at its centre.


item_name: blue candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Causes you to generate happy themed chats for a while after eating.
description:
This is a solid candy which is blue in colour.  Surprisingly, it's also crystal clear.  This little square of goodness must have been created especially for you.  Tiny wisps of light pulse from within.


item_name: red candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Causes you to generate angry themed chats for a while after eating.
description:
This is a solid candy which is red in colour.  Surprisingly, it's also crystal clear.  This little round candy looks as if it was made especially for you.  Small swirls of light can be seen within the candy which makes it glow ever so slightly in your hand.


item_name: green candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Causes you to generate depressed themed chats for a while after eating.
description:
This is a solid candy which is green in colour.  Surprisingly, it's also crystal clear.  Triangle-shaped, it sits in your hand and casts gloomy shadows over your palm.


item_name: yellow candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Causes you to generate excited themed chats for a while after eating.
description:
This is a solid candy which is yellow in colour.  Surprisingly, it's also crystal clear.  This gumball-shaped candy is just ready to be eaten by you.  The centre of this candy is filled with a type of liquid which flows to and fro like a mini ocean in your hand.


item_name: pair of comfy slippers
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
You can tell just by looking at them that these slippers are very, very comfy to wear.  Made from felted brown wool and worn over decades by a successive variety of feet, they have stretched and slumped into a sort of shapeless mass that nevertheless remains willing to mould itself snugly around any future owner's tootsies.

appraise_text:
The pair of comfy slippers is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is brown and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: electrum false nose
appraise_text: It is made of electrum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 20 g
description:
This is a cunningly-sculpted prosthetic nose made of electrum; it could be glued onto your face to replace a nose lost in some kind of... unfortunate accident.  


item_name: Temple of Soyin souvenir mug
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a mug with "I love Soyin" printed in large red letters around it.  Its inside appears to be larger than its physical size.

appraise_text:
The Temple of Soyin souvenir mug is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is white and is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: Temple of Soyin souvenir clock
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is an interesting device that is supposed to tell you what time of day it is.  It has Soyin's face printed underneath the hands and you perceive it to be an old, distinguished, careworn face but not unkind.  The time is a quarter past twelve.

appraise_text:
The Temple of Soyin souvenir clock is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: Temple of Soyin guide book
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
This is a little paperback booklet of the kind that you can buy whenever you visit somewhere.  This one looks no different from all the others in that it probably contains complete drivel.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed Temple of Soyin guide book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: amulet of confession
appraise_text: It is made of ruby and gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a peculiar golden disc engraved with many unusual runes and symbols.  It has a large red gem in the middle.


item_name: lily of the valley
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
All the small white calyxes somehow inspire pity for this lovely, fragile lily of the valley.  Perhaps if it could only come alive again, it would feel much better!  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The lily of the valley is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: purple violet
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a light purple coloured violet.  As you take a deeper breath you realise that this one seems to smell remarkably good.  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The purple violet is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Borogravian china sheepdog
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A Borogravian sculptor's fanciful image of a Sto Plains sheepdog, all fine white curls and huge brown eyes, sits looking up soulfully as though eternally hoping for a biscuit and a pat.  A real gold bell hangs from the sculpted blue ribbon around his neck, though the tiny clapper (tinkler?) has been lost to the ravages of time.  Or possibly removed by an exasperated previous owner.

appraise_text:
The Borogravian china sheepdog is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of ceramic.


item_name: Bandit Lord's medal
appraise_text: It is made of bronze and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
description:
Struck from fine bronze and carefully patinated to a deep blue-green, this medal is apparently intended to evoke the wild forests near Mad Reginald the Bandit Lord's erstwhile seat at Lostwithiel.  These were awarded for exceptional service to banditry and looting, but with the demise of the Bandit Lord's short-lived and exceptionally grandiose plan to crown himself Bandit King Of All The Area Between The Istanzia River And The Morpork Mountains - and not coincidentally, the demise of the Bandit Lord himself - no more were struck, and they have become very collectible.


item_name: gladiolus
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a really strange looking gladiolus. With its white dots on the pure purple sepals it is rather ugly!  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The gladiolus is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: polychrome cabbage teapot
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Astonishingly lifelike with its clever moulding and cheerful shades of brassican green, it's entirely possible a Sto Plains housewife would try to slice this up for an Octeday roast.  One ruffled leaf forms a spout, and another the handle, whilst a jauntily perched ladybird serves as a knob for the lid.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The polychrome cabbage teapot is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about forty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: bellflower
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty ordinary bellflower as you know it from your childish life.  You wonder if you could make it ring for you?  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The bellflower is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: bright sunflower
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty ordinary sunflower, you think at least.  With its almost golden leaves it appears to glow a bit.  But this could be only your imagination too.  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The bright sunflower is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: black rose
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This velvety black rose looks so overwhelming that you think you'll never ever give it away again.  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The black rose is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Borogravian china castle
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This miniature castle has been moulded in warm grey china, with the doors and window-frames picked out in gold leaf.  The cluster of slim turrets that crowns the principal donjon are topped with soaring spires in cheerful red tile, and there's even a tiny princess in one of them, dangling her gold-leaf hair out of the window in perpetual hope of rescue.  It looks like it would be a wonderfully comfortable and whimsical place for a king to live - it's a pity it's only nine inches tall, really.

appraise_text:
The Borogravian china castle is about nine inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ceramic.


item_name: red rose
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This red rose would be the best gift for your beloved one to show him or her how much you are in love.  It looks quite fresh.

appraise_text:
The red rose is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: white linen petticoat
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This calf-length petticoat is made from crisp white linen with lace inserts, and a froth of matching lace at the hem, the same soft white as an early snowfall or fresh-drawn milk.

appraise_text:
The white linen petticoat is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Genuan saddle
weight: 5lb
description:
This saddle is designed in the Genuan style - relatively lightweight to give the rider more contact with the horse for better control in combat.

appraise_text:
The Genuan saddle is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is brown and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: crystal brooch
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate brooch made of glittering crystal.  It is shaped up into a finely faceted oval, decorated with coiling silver filigree.  It seems to be strangely sensitive to the warmth of other people.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate bracelet made of glittering crystal.  It is composed of small octagonal beads, faceted and sparkling, strung together with twisted silver filigree.  It seems to be strangely sensitive to the warmth of other people.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.


item_name: crystal flame bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1 5/9 lb
description:
This bracelet is carved from glittering crystal, with such fine chisel-strokes that the slim band seems almost perfectly rounded.  Running around the outside are carven flames, seeming to dance and flicker with the light reflected from the fine facets.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.


item_name: crystal and filigree bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a delicately crafted bracelet made of twisted silver filigree, scattered with small faceted beads of glittering crystal.  The shimmering strands curve around each other like tendrils on a vine, crystals nestled among them like translucent berries.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.


item_name: crystal bell bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a fine bracelet of twisted silver filigree, from which dangles a row of tiny crystal bells.  Softened light glints from their facets as they rub shoulders, sending out muffled and musical chimes which peal gently with every movement.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.


item_name: crystal star bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Tiny glittering stars have been delicately carved from crystal and strung onto a slim bracelet of plaited silver filigree.  Some are attached directly to the band, while others shimmer on single silver strands.  They chime and tinkle against each other as they move, faint light glimmering from their facets.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.


item_name: leather briefcase
weight: 5 7/9 lb
special_find_note: Given for delivery on Genuan Coffee Nostra missions.
description:
This is a leather briefcase, with solid iron locks.  The handle looks well worn, as if this briefcase sees a lot of travel.  It is closed and locked.  It appears to have something written on it: Deliver to [NPC name].

appraise_text:
The leather briefcase is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 27 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: crystal bubble necklace
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This is a cheery necklace made of scores of little hollow bubbles blown from glittering crystal.  They drift down lightly over the throat, seeming barely to touch the fine thread of silver filigree that connects them, as if about to either pop or detach themselves and float away with a message for some distant friend.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal loveheart necklace
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
A glittering, gently rounded heart carved from crystal is the pendant on this delicately formed necklace.  It hangs on a chain of plaited silver filigree, seeming to radiate a sweet, loving warmth.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal teardrop necklace
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This is a gracefully elongated teardrop, made of glittering crystal.  It has been chipped into careful facets, so that it appears almost perfectly rounded.  It hangs straight down, nestled in the hollow of the throat, from a delicate silver chain of knotted filigree.  It seems to want to cover other people with sparkles, too.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal and filigree necklace
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This is a delicately crafted necklace made of twisted silver filigree, scattered with small faceted beads of glittering crystal.  The shimmering strands curve around each other like tendrils on a vine, crystals nestled among them like translucent berries.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: crystal necklace
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This is a delicate necklace made of glittering crystal.  It is composed of small octagonal beads, faceted and sparkling, strung together with twisted silver filigree.  At the lowest point of the necklace's curve, the beads are half an inch across, growing smaller as they move back up towards the clasp.  It seems to be strangely sensitive to the warmth of other people.  It gives off a steady but dull octarine glow.


item_name: elegant crystal necklace
appraise_text: It is none and is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a delicate concoction of crystal and silver filigree, which swoops down around the neck in an elegant curve and divides into a number of criss-crossing threads at the hollow of the throat.  At the corner of each little diamond is a small droplet of crystal.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.


item_name: pair of corridor earrings
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
A thin gold chain dangles from the ear, supporting a minature maze of corridors, all alike.  What appears to be the beginning and end of each maze is studded with a tiny chip of opal, but if you look closer, they seem to have no end, twisting and turning into infinity.


item_name: rusted fishhook
appraise_text: It is made of steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3 g
description:
This is a rusted, grimy fish-hook, caked with ages of gore.  Its barb, however, gleams, a bright steel point.  A rather interesting, if gruesome lip adornment.


item_name: pink twisty anklet
appraise_text: It is made of glistening pink material and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
description:
The strange bendy material this anklet is made of twists slightly as it curves around the ankle.  From the way it glistens unpleasantly, it really reminds one of a section of small intestine that has been fashioned into a piece of jewellery.  Perhaps it was left over from the last sacrifice.


item_name: heart medallion
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Hanging from a dull silver chain, this minature replica of a human heart is almost too lifelike.  Blood red, it seems to almost pulse in time with a mysterious heartbeat.


item_name: elaborate gold brooch
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A rather heavy, and elaborate gold brooch, in what appears to be the shape of a hat.  A pork-pie hat in fact.  Someone obviously managed to completely stuff up what could have been a beautiful and costly piece of jewellery for your average Hat priest.  As it is it's really only a joke now.


item_name: vulture necklace
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Thick strands of dull gold twist and twine around each other, forming a long and rather chunky necklace.  Two orange and black speckled feathers hang from it, between them dangles a small enamelled vulture.


item_name: crystal raindrop necklace
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This filigree necklace is adorned with exquisite, raindrop shaped crystals, hanging from a delicate silver chain like they fell straight from the sky and were caught on the necklace.


item_name: flame nose stud
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2 g
description:
A delicate post of silver supports a largish ruby, which has been shaped into a depiction of living flame.  Light reflects from the stone, making it look so realistic, the echo of sacrifices past seems to waft on the wind.


item_name: maze toe ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A thick band of gold that sits snugly around the toe.  A complicated, maze-like pattern has been deeply engraved around it.


item_name: fluffy lip stud
appraise_text: It is made of steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2 g
description:
Set upon a narrow bar of steel is a tiny ball of the whitest, softest most snuggleable fluff imaginable.  If only it wasn't so tiny, it would be wonderful to just roll around in.  You will have to settle for wearing it on your face instead.


item_name: silver and tourmaline toe ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Two twisting, intertwining lines of pale-green pinpoint tourmalines wind across the smooth arc of this slim, asymmetrical toe ring.


item_name: crystal eyebrow pin
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
A delicate shard of crystal, designed to be worn in the eyebrow.  Each end has been capped with a tiny raindrop-shaped crystal.  The light reflects through the piece, scattering exquisite rainbows across the skin of the wearer.


item_name: elegant black brassiere
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Simple, elegant, and exquisitely comfortable, this brassiere fits perfectly.  The thin black silk is exquisitely soft, and the lace trim on the cups adds just the right touch of prettiness, while the subtle underwiring supports without any discomfort.  The discreet label on the rear strap bears the logo of exclusive Brindisian couturier Delicissima.  The elegant black brassiere has two cup pockets.

appraise_text:
The elegant black brassiere is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: crystal amulet
appraise_text: It is dark rose pink and is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
It looks like a plain necklace with a fake gem affixed to it.  Yet, out of the corner of your eye you see a faint dark rose pink glow on the crystal.  It emits a slight octarine glow.


item_name: copper wand
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
You recognise the copper wand to be a wand of sparkles.  This is a copper wand.  The top sparkles faintly with a fusion of colours.  It emits a slight octarine glow.

appraise_text:
The copper wand is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of copper and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: Magic Beard tin
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This tin has a greasy feel to it.  It looks like something that you would find at Boffo's Novelty and Joke Shop.  A label is glued on the side.

appraise_text:
The Magic Beard tin is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of tin.


