# items

item_name: medium wooden shield
weight: 4 7/9 lb
description:
This looks like a shield.  It's round and made of wood.  If all else fails, it probably has the good makings of a nice warm fire.

appraise_text:
The medium wooden shield is about two and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: sensible black amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed in a sensible black, not one of those fancy blacks, this amphora carries a tan silhouette of a rather rotund female (perhaps it's the wind blowing at her robes) herding a group of pigs.  For some reason, perhaps a smear of wet paint, one of the pigs seems to be wearing a helm.  The woman's hair blows in the painted swirls of wind, except where restrained by a simplistic conical hat.  A work of fine art and a cautionary tale, its handles are tall and arched to allow easy stacking, and its triangular stopper has been left undecorated, and attached to the neck by a short braid of reeds.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The sensible black amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Sweet Chilli Surprise
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is one of the more popular menu items available at this restaurant.  For some reason, people seem to enjoy eating food that tastes good, but cannot be identified, sometimes not even by the chef.  This delicious meal consists of a wide bowl with a generous helping of red, sweet chilli sauce in the bottom and some white fleshy lumps of meat bobbing around.  If you like spicy food and surprises, then this is the meal for you.


item_name: maple fiery gods cabinet
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This maple wood cabinet looks as though it has seen some rough times.  Coal-black patches of burnt wood mark its naturally light-toned surface, including the inlaid panels on each of its doors.  The panel at the top of the cabinet has been engraved with figures of various gods.  They appear to be casting fireballs towards the city engraved at the bottom of the cabinet, scorched trails following their paths.  Huddled amongst this fiery destruction are the charred remains of Ephebe, smote by the wrath of the gods.  Absolute terror fills the faces of the fleeing Ephebians as they run among the engraved houses and streets.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The maple fiery gods cabinet is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of maple and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 40 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: velvet loveseat
weight: about fifty pounds
description:
This small, cosy sofa is covered in plush red velvet.  The cherry wood frame has been carved with hearts, flowers, ribbons and other indications of the romantic nature of this piece of furniture.

appraise_text:
The velvet loveseat is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pair of brass cranes
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
In Agatea, cranes symbolise longevity and prosperity.  Set into a pond, stream or garden our exquisite cranes will add a graceful Auriental elegance to any garden.  Cast in brass with a natural verdigris patina, this large pair of cranes would add an element of peace to any garden.

appraise_text:
The pair of brass cranes is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: plate of nuts
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a plate of different nuts.  Shelled and lightly roasted hazelnuts, peanuts, almonds, pecans, chestnuts and coconut are laid around the plate decoratively.


item_name: dark walnut dresser
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
Although this dresser looks normal at first glance, a closer examination reveals a number of disturbing features.  Instead of a handle, its top drawer has the realistic shape of a screaming face pressing outward from the wood, pupil-less eyes staring in panic.  Similarly, a pair of wooden hands thrust out from the space where the handle should have been on the middle drawer, clutching desperately at the air.  It is almost as though someone is trapped within the wood like a fly in amber, struggling to escape.  Whoever made this was probably more than a little deranged.  It is open.  It has three inlaid drawers.

appraise_text:
The dark walnut dresser is about four feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of walnut and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 122 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: bag of bulgur
description: This is a small burlap sack, with a draw-string at the top. It is closed.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The small burlap sack is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of jute and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: colourful Claro Cliff dinner plate
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a well-made dinner plate, glazed in colourful shades.  On it is painted a design of brightly coloured tulips, which although not lifelike are still very attractive.  A small CC monogram has been carefully signed on the reverse.  There is nothing on the colourful Claro Cliff dinner plate.

appraise_text:
The colourful Claro Cliff dinner plate is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 5 pounds.


item_name: Klatchian Special Tobacco
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown paper pouch designed for carrying tobacco.  It has a waxy coat to keep the contents dry.  The paper pouch is about one-quarter full with one handful of very special Klatchian tobacco.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The paper pouch is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or four items.


item_name: low glass table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a low table, made of a thick clear glass plate, seated on top of a wooden ensemble of four legs and four thin beams connecting them.  The glass plate is engraved with a delicate floral band, about one inch wide, going all around the edge, about one inch away from it.  There is nothing on the low glass table.

appraise_text:
The low glass table is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and glass and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: tea cabinet
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a delicate rosewood tea cabinet that has several small square drawers set into its width, and is punctuated in the middle by a long double-plateau counter that runs along its length.  The drawers have been polished frequently, and have tiny carvings of flowers inlaid along their surface.  Several rosewood railings run around it at several points, making it more sturdy and enhancing its beauty.  It is open.  It has five inlaid drawers.

appraise_text:
The tea cabinet is about three and a half feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: pair of gold wire glasses [build-a-bear]
description: This is a miniature pair of gold wire glasses. They would make the wearer look rather thoughtful.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The pair of gold wire glasses is about an inch long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is gold and is made of glass and gold and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: chicken meal
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is tender, boneless breast of chicken in a tarragon, basil and cream sauce served with local delicacies of vegetables - or at least that's how the menu describes it.  In actuality it's a small portion of chicken swimming in an unidentified liquid topped with a small amount of vegetables.  It appears nice enough, but other than being nicely presented there isn't much to the meal.


item_name: elderly kitchen table
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
An elderly, wooden kitchen table, worn smooth over years (or possibly centuries) of constant use, and eminently practical.  Even its legs are worn with the scuff-marks of impatient little boys swinging their shoes at the table.  There is nothing on the elderly kitchen table.

appraise_text:
The elderly kitchen table is about twenty-five feet long and about fifteen feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 88 pounds, or about one hundred and ten items.


item_name: pink and black striped anaconda
appraise_text: You appraise the pink and black striped anaconda and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a nice large pink and black striped anaconda.  It looks like it would look really good draped around your neck.  It is in good shape.  It is lying.  It looks perfectly happy.


item_name: decorative Tang plate
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is an large decorative plate, painted pink and white.  Rumour has it that it was once used by a late Lord Tang who had a particular fondness of squishi rolls, but rumour also states that a few too many squishi rolls created the unfortunate end of that particular Lord Tang - so who knows.  Nevertheless, it is a lovely piece of work, delicately detailed with fine lines of white and green which come together to outline a few sparse lotus blossoms.

appraise_text:
The decorative Tang plate is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of porcelain and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sewing box
weight: less than a pound
description:
A rectangular box with a lid on brass hinges and a carry handle.  It has all sorts of compartments for needles and spools of thread, making it a perfect container for both embroidery hobbyists and professional needlewomen.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The sewing box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: reel of fishing line
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a wooden reel with a good hundred yards of the finest catgut wrapped around it.  That's a lot of cats.  It is designed for catching fish with.

appraise_text:
The reel of fishing line is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: some rosemary
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of rosemary, about one sprig.  Rosemary is a foot-high greyish-green plant with small flowers on long stalks spaced up and down the main stalk.


item_name: silver gong
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a smallish silver gong, hanging from a silver frame.  Tiny goldfish swim around each other on the surface of the disc, nipping each others' tails as they go.  The gong can be hit to make a loud ringing sound and annoy everyone in the room.

appraise_text:
The silver gong is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: platinum water buffalo
special_find_note: 97996c0dc3d56a72f759919866c9eb8a41dfa8c7
description:
As the family emblem, this platinum water buffalo reeks of McSweeney.  It's very small, small enough to be put on a necklace or a piece of string if so desired.  The water buffalo has been chiselled from a nugget of the purest platinum and its eyes are crafted from small sapphires.


item_name: green perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The green perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: steel naginata
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
The steel handle on this weapon extends to a massive length of seven feet.  One end, extending past the polished handle grip, has been tipped with a long blade of finely crafted steel.  The joint where the blade meets the handle is ringed with gold.

appraise_text:
The steel naginata is about seven feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: pint of beer
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a nicely made pint glass, of the sort usually used to serve beer and cider in pubs and restaurants.  The pint glass of beer is completely full with one pint of beer.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The pint glass of beer is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 267 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: medium mercury twenty-minute glass
weight: about three pounds
description:
This timepiece consists of two medium glass chambers joined with a thin neck.  It is filled with glistening mercury.  Controlling the flow is achieved, as usually with hourglasses, by turning it.  The upper chamber is empty.

appraise_text:
The medium hourglass is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: strawberry rhapsody
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small round bowl of pastry, inside which sits a swirl of miniature strawberries covered in icing and glazing.  It is like a small pond of temptation, looking absolutely irresistible.


item_name: ivory ring
appraise_text: It is made of ivory and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1.14 g
description:
This ring has been carved from a piece of ivory.  It is decorated with geometric designs around its centre.  Upon closer inspection these appear to be stylised elephants holding each other's tails.


item_name: yellow nosegay bridal bouquet
weight: about a pound
description:
Made from yellow roses, chrysanthemums, and carnations this is a small round bouquet that would look pretty in anybody's hands.

appraise_text:
The yellow nosegay bridal bouquet is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of flowers and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: ocarina
weight: about a pound
description:
The ocarina is an oval-shaped ceramic wind instrument with twelve finger holes arranged in a curved ring around the surface and a protruding mouthpiece.  It looks like it would be quite easy to play.

appraise_text:
The ocarina is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and appears to be a musical instrument from the wind family.


item_name: basic door lock package
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small, brown paper bag, just the type to hold sweets, peanuts, or any other similar object.  The paper bag is completely full with a basic door lock and a small brass key.  It is open.


item_name: poster of Ankh-Morpork
weight: less than half a pound
description:
At first sight, this poster appears to be nothing more than a large brown blob, surrounded by a green border, but on closer inspection the blob consists of streets and houses.  The blob is cut in half by a river, with an island in the middle of it, like an iris in an eye (or an eyesore - in this case).  It must be the city of Ankh-Morpork!  Yellowish smoke clouds fill the air above it and a giant tower reaches up, seemingly looking to jump out of the picture.  Various symbols are spread out across the city, such as a spotted cow on the west side, with a skull and bones beside it.  More to the centre sits a broken drum, with a tiny plaster stuck to it and in the area around that various coats of arms can be found as well as a large palace with a large crater to the southeast.  Above the river are some green areas, as well as symbolic representations of grand houses and civil institutions, a for sale sign and a horse's head.  The green border surrounding the city is made out of thousands of tiny cabbages.

appraise_text:
The poster of Ankh-Morpork is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Two-Hump tobacco, that special taste of Klatch
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown leather pouch designed for carrying tobacco.  The stitching at the seams is slightly ragged.  The brown leather pouch is about one-quarter full with one handful of Two-Hump tobacco.  It is open.


item_name: transparent white perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The transparent white perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: stone bird bath
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a block of stone that has been chiseled and hacked into a vaguely bird bath shape.  It is really quite ugly.  Fortunately, birds don't seem to be art critics.  The base of the bird bath is made of some sort of porous stone that resembles Dwarf Bread in texture.

appraise_text:
The stone bird bath is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of stone and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sea green and silver amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay and glazed a clear shade of sea green with silver swirls to represent wavetops, this amphora carries none of the traditional Ephebian silhouette paintings but remains pretty in its simplicity.  A work of fine art, its handles are tall and arched to allow easy stacking and handling, and its triangular stopper has been decorated with a simplistic seagull in white and attached to the neck on a white braided ribbon.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The sea green and silver amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: bottle of Agatean Golden Wine
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large blackened blue glass bottle.  This is a rare bottle of Counterweight Golden wine, imported or possibly smuggled from the Counterweight Continent.  It is probably only possible to buy this from the most exclusive of shops.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The large blackened blue bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: party hat
description: This small, cone-shaped hat glitters in the light, reflecting it in all directions.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The party hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: lump of copper ore
description: A small lump of copper.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The lump of copper ore is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of copper.


item_name: Gappic rod [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This miniature priest's staff is a rather colourful affair.  The shaft of plain wood but atop it is a majestic, if tiny, bronze emblem, with several silk tassels, each dyed a different vibrant colour, dangling from its extremities.

appraise_text:
The tasseled staff is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: shimmering goldfish wall plaque
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Ruto, the Agatean word for fish has the same pronunciation as that of abundance, thus the gold koi fish becomes the symbol for abundance and wealth.  According to Fung Shooey, one should keep a tank of gold koi in the house to attract wealth and prosperity.  This particular plaque holds depictions of dancing goldfish, moving waves and shining seaweed on its face.

appraise_text:
The shimmering goldfish wall plaque is about five feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of brass and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: two-handed war hammer
weight: 4 6/9 lb
description:
This sturdy two-handed hammer is a little under three feet long.  The blackened Klatchian steel shaft is hexagonal for much of its length though rounded and roughened near the base to provide a sure grip.  At the tip are a square striking head and a curved spike for stabbing through armour.

appraise_text:
The two-handed war hammer is about two and a half feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: large wooden chest
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large wooden chest made out of sturdy but worn and stained planks.  There is a small keyhole in the front.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large wooden chest is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: inlaid cherry wood altar chest
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is an altar cabinet, a curious piece of Auriental home decoration that has become popular amongst the Sum Dim civil servants.  A squat cherry wood chest lacquered in burgundy, the front panels have been inlaid with circular designs in mother of pearl.  The roof of the chest flares out slightly from the main body of the structure, looking very much akin to a pair of short wings.   This gives the chest an appearance very much like a traditional Auriental gate and makes it quite an unusual item to have in the home.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The inlaid cherry wood altar chest is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 50 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: box of W&B's Gold Selection
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a gold-coloured box from W&B.  It is decorated with a relief of roses, delicately painted in red and greens.  A smell of chocolate seems to linger around it.  The golden logo of W&B is discreetly drawn on the back.  The gold chocolate box is completely full with three whipped cream milk chocolate pralines and three white chocolate cream dark chocolate pralines.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The gold chocolate box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: medium sand twelve-minute glass
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This timepiece consists of two medium glass chambers joined with a thin neck.  It is filled with fine, yellow sand.  Controlling the flow is achieved, as usually with hourglasses, by turning it.  The upper chamber is empty.

appraise_text:
The medium hourglass is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: wizard robe [build-a-bear]
description: This is a miniature version of a typical wizard's robe with the usual custard stains down one arm.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The wizard's robe is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is multi-coloured and is made of vermine and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: wildflower box stove
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This wildflower box stove was manufactured in HungHung and bears the rich castings of the T'seng era.  A crest of arms from the Tang household is embossed on a thick trellised background.  The bowed body is constructed of solid cast iron and offers an airtight burn.  The wildflower box stove is compact, cute, and quite easy to use when burning wood.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the wildflower box stove.

appraise_text:
The wildflower box stove is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: sea nymph head meerschaum pipe
weight: about a pound
description:
Meerschaum is a creamy white mineral that comes from the sea where it floats ashore on the waves, and as it dries, becomes extremely hard and durable - or so the makers of pipes claim!  The craftsman who gave shape to this beautiful pipe aspired to create the visionary beauty of the head of a beautiful sea nymph.  The bowl is shaped so that the smoke comes out from the figurine's mouth, leaving the eyes to glare furiously at whoever is sitting in front of the person smoking the pipe.  It has no tobacco in it.

appraise_text:
The sea nymph head meerschaum pipe is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of stone and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: happy AshkEnte card (closed)
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a card made from black, matte paper.  On the front is a picture of seven-plus-one bearded wizards standing around a huge octogram.  A black hooded, sharp scythed figure stands in the centre of the octogram and appears to be bargaining with an incorporeal one.  It is closed.  There is some fine handwriting on the outside.

appraise_text:
The happy AshkEnte card (closed) is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of card.


item_name: autumn garnet ring
appraise_text: It is made of red gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 11 g
description:
The red gold of this band, wrought into a circlet of curling oak leaves, wraps around to hold a single large cushion-cut garnet firmly between its ends.


item_name: black lever
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
The blackness of this lever is so intense it almost shines with forbodingness.  It is mounted on a thin wooden box, ready to hang on a wall.

appraise_text:
The black lever is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pint of cider
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a nicely made pint glass, of the sort usually used to serve beer and cider in pubs and restaurants.  The pint glass of cider is completely full with one pint of cider.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The pint glass of cider is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Hong Lotus
special_find_note: a7704097ddd3235564c97add74fdbd7d27ed9e70
description:
This remarkable lotus is carved from a single black opal.  Its beautiful petals light up with an inner fire that sparkles blue, gold, and red.  The smaller interior petals have been veined with some shiny metal that appears to be platinum or maybe even silver.  The whole thing is very small and could probably fit in the palm of a hand.


item_name: some tender buffalo droppings
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Fortunately, these are four meatballs that are made from freshly minced buffalo meat.  They look tender and delicious!


item_name: shark's tooth
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a large shark's tooth with a sharp serrated edge, carved with some generic mysterious patterns.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Ur Gilash, and is intended to prevent accidental pregnancies.

appraise_text:
The shark's tooth is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of bone.


item_name: diamond-patterned wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
The back of this wicker-work chair curves around in a comfortable semi-circle into the arms, sweeping down towards the braided knots that form the hand rests.  It looks something like half a basket, with the woven pattern interrupted in the centre of the back in such a way as to make a decorative diamond shape that draws the eye and complements the weave elsewhere.

appraise_text:
The diamond-patterned wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: print of Call Me Daisy
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a print of Margo Henshaw's Call Me Daisy.  It shows a man dressed seriously in a dark suit in front of a background of grey.  A white daisy appears to be growing out of the top of his head and he does not seem at all concerned about this strange affliction.

appraise_text:
The print of Call Me Daisy is about two feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: colourful Claro Cliff side plate
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a well-made side plate, glazed in colourful shades.  On it is a picture of a small copse, painted in simple colourful brush-strokes to create maximum impact.  A small CC monogram has been carefully signed on the reverse.  There is nothing on the colourful Claro Cliff side plate.

appraise_text:
The colourful Claro Cliff side plate is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 3 pounds.


item_name: ---ing words game
description: A bunch of cards and a box, with a dictionary in it. Fun for the whole family.
weight: You heft the ---ing words game and guess that it weighs less than a pound.
appraise_text:
The ---ing words game is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: gem book
appraise_text: The closed gem book is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a thin book about gems, as can be seen from the picture of a cut gemstone on the cover.  It is closed.


item_name: colourful Claro Cliff coffee pot
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a well-made coffee pot, painted in colourful shades.  It is a hexagonal base creating a very modern look.  It is decorated with an abstract pattern, hinting at flowers, landscapes and more without actually containing any of them.  A small CC monogram has been carefully signed on the bottom.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The colourful Claro Cliff coffee pot is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: pet brush
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small brush with a mass of soft bristles under a few firmer and longer ones, just the thing for teasing tangles out of a pet's coat and brushing it into gleaming waves.

appraise_text:
The pet brush is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: red-framed chinoiserie mirror
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This majestic mirror far exceeds its functional purposes.  An object of fantastic design and infinite value in an interior decorator's mind, the mirror is big enough to take the centre of one side of a wall alone, lending it an eye-catching and quite striking effect.  A round shape, the symbol of unity in Agatean culture, its antiqued ruby coloured frame is handpainted and handcarved with Agatean scenery in a gold-highlighted chinoiserie motif.  It is too dark to see much in the room.

appraise_text:
The red-framed chinoiserie mirror is about six and a half feet long and about six and a half feet wide.  It is made of glass and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: white marble bathtub
weight: about forty pounds
description:
Ornate fish-shaped gold-plated taps gleam on this large white marble bathtub.  The bright white marble is cold and perfectly smooth to the touch.  The bathtub is carved in a slight oval shape in which two people could relax comfortably.

appraise_text:
The white marble bathtub is about five feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 333 pounds, about sixty items, or about 31 gallons.


item_name: black leather belt [build-a-bear]
description: This is a very small belt made from leather, presumably taken from tiny little cows.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The black leather belt is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is black and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: portrait of a young boy fishing
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a traditional Auriental painting of a young boy fishing by a lake.  He is pulling a colourful fish out of the water with his fishing rod and has a rather perplexed look on his face.  A few reeds surround the rock he sits on, the background of the painting being nothing more than a simple whitewash.

appraise_text:
The portrait of a young boy fishing is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: crayfish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Crayfish, also called crawfish or crawdad, are closely related to the lobster, but are smaller.  Its thick, segmented body is a uniform greenish colour, which will turn bright red when cooked.  The usually inquisitive eye-stalks are, in death, dull and flaccid, but that matters little when there is delicious crustacean eating to be had!


item_name: needle trap
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a needle trap suitable for rigging inside the lock of a door.  It uses a small needle that will inject poison into anyone clumsily picking the lock.

appraise_text:
The needle trap is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: blue anaconda
appraise_text: You appraise the blue anaconda and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a nice large blue anaconda.  It looks like it would look really good draped around your neck.  It is in good shape.  It is lying.  It looks perfectly happy.


item_name: ship wheel
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a wooden spoked wheel of the kind usually found being utilised to steer sailing ships.  The wood is old and sea-worn, showing its age in more ways than one.  Undoubtedly strong gloves were needed to use this particular wheel, otherwise the pain and blood-loss from rogue splinters would be all but unbearable.  The ship-wheel has a loop of former rigging around its centre, making it suitable for hanging much like a portrait or other piece of fine art.

appraise_text:
The ship wheel is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: antique steel range
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is an antique steel range which has been preserved relatively well considering its age.  It reeks of several decades of loving care, partially because food several decades old is stuck to it in awkward places.  A long shelf runs over the fume hood, and four large elements have been placed on the steel heating surface.  Several curlicued licks of steel adorn the oven's door, leading down into four feet shaped like a pig's trotters.  There is nothing on the antique steel range.

appraise_text:
The antique steel range is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: snausage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
Snausages are bite-sized chunks of meat (or meat-related products) that are full of chunky, meaty goodness.  Often used as treats for obedient pets.  Yum yum.


item_name: Ephebian coffee table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This coffee table has an obvious Ephebian style to it, with shiny brass decoration covering much of its vertical surfaces.  It is perfectly round, good if you're prone to paper cuts and walking into things.  As the old saying goes, the only thing shins are for is finding chairs and coffee tables in the dark.  Several pairs of handcuffs hang jauntily from the legs, along with a small key dangling on a delicate chain.  There is nothing on the Ephebian coffee table.

appraise_text:
The Ephebian coffee table is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: "Carmine" poster
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the famous opera "Carmine".  A lurid illustration shows the famous soprano Christine Callous dressed as the lascivious Genuan gypsy, clutching a rose between her teeth.  Below the illustration are written the performance dates at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House.

appraise_text:
The "Carmine" poster is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: black leather armchair
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large armchair, with the thick seat and back covered in thick black water buffalo leather.  The curved legs and arm rests look like lacquered mahogany, and are sculptured in an abstract but nice motif.

appraise_text:
The black leather armchair is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: corbie foot
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is the shrivelled, curled foot of a scabrous corbie.  It's really unattractive, actually - all grey and scaled.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Eupiess, and is intended to ward off toothache.

appraise_text:
The corbie foot is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of flesh.


item_name: medium-length pine plank
appraise_text: The pine plank is about four feet long and about nine inches wide. It is made of wood.
weight: about five pounds
description:
A standard-length plank, cut from pine.  A few small tight knots and resin pockets add visual texture to the plank.


item_name: revolutionary document
weight: about a pound
description:
This document is battered and has obviously passed through many hands and been added to by each owner.  However somewhere along the way it seems to have fallen into not so much the Wrong Hands but Confused ones.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed revolutionary document is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: blue crab
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
The hard shell of this thick-limbed crab is a bright blue, hence the name.  The fat forelegs end with cruel-looking pincers, while the soft, pink underbelly looks ripe for stabbing into and removing the juicy flesh within.


item_name: goat steak
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Quite a popular meat in Klatch, this cut of goat has been preserved via the liberal application of salt.  It is a dull reddish-grey colour.


item_name: glazed sweetmeat
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small triangle of glazed orange sweetmeat, covered in delicious looking toppings.  Bits of orange peel and other fruits dot the top, making this little mouthful look festive as well as delicious.


item_name: goldfish stained glass fan lamp
weight: about a pound
description:
This elegant lamp features a stained glass fan which has been attached to a stone pedestal base.  Behind the fan on the pedestal sits a small depression where a tealight may be placed to illuminate the glass and shower fractured colours into the surrounding room.  The stained glass on this particular lamp depicts two yellow-gold and orange fish which seem to swim around each other endlessly on their multicoloured blue background.  There is nothing on the goldfish stained glass fan lamp.

appraise_text:
The goldfish stained glass fan lamp is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or one item.


item_name: golden cymbal
description:
This is a golden disc. It has a loop on the centre of one side for suspending it from a hook while it is hit, making a crashing sound.

appraise_text:
The golden cymbal is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: carved camphor mahogany chest
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This is a large camphor mahogany chest which has been ornately carved with a seafaring motif.  Large leaves border the edges, while a large ship and brass lock sit firmly on each side.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The carved camphor mahogany chest is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: plain washboard
weight: 8 8/9 lb
description:
This is a plain washboard, consisting of a board with a corrugated metal surface framed by a plain wooden construction.

appraise_text:
The plain washboard is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of iron and wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: fountain of blood stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A fountain of blood.

appraise_text:
The fountain of blood stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: side of beef
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This is a side of beef, which basically means it is half a cow, with some of the juicier bits removed.


item_name: orange and cocoa bean dark chocolate praline
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is an orange cream and cocoa bean praline.  It is filled with a sweet orange cream, and in the middle is a candied cocoa bean.  A covering of dark chocolate, which is decorated with a tiny swirl of candied orange peel, completes the creation.  It looks delicious and is probably quite expensive.


item_name: string of [type] sausages
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a string of garlic beef sausages, extruded from a sausage machine.  While they are still attached, if you pulled hard enough, you should be able to tear some off.  The string is twenty-eight sausages long.

appraise_text:
The string of garlic beef sausages is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It isn't really made of anything and looks edible.


item_name: bunch of flowers
description:
A small bunch of flowers that look very pretty indeed.  Possibly something that you would give to a loved one on your first date.


item_name: blue-grey marble fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This fireplace consists of a marble mantlepiece, surround and hearth constructed around a heatproof brick fire pit.  Clearly made by a skilled craftsperson, the blue-grey marble has been polished to almost a mirror shine that is set off nicely by its white veins.  It would add a touch of opulent grandeur to any home.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the blue-grey marble fireplace.

appraise_text:
The blue-grey marble fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: decorative map of Genua
weight: less than half a pound
description:
From the Swamp Sea to the borders with Borogravia and Uberwald, Genua stretches its marshes and wetlands seemingly endlessly.  The main feature is the Vieux River, which has its source in the hills of Uberwald and slowly makes its way seawards, creating an enormous delta in the process.  In that delta, Genua city is marked as a magnificent golden pearl.  A picturesque riverboat sits in the lower left corner and in the other three corners, alligators stare at you in a threatening fashion.

appraise_text:
The decorative map of Genua is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rice paper samurai screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a simple screen that would fit in most traditional homes.  A stoic samurai in full traditional Agatean armour and dress storms across the panelling, hand-drawn in shades of orange, blue, brown, cream and black.  The frame is made of a strange combination of walnut and spruce woods, their differing colours blending well with the shades of the panels.

appraise_text:
The rice paper samurai screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: huge firecracker
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a huge red tube sporting a short fuse that you could probably light to see some entertaining effects.  Holding it for too long after this is done is ill advised, though.

appraise_text:
The huge firecracker is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is yellow and is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: mensa regis board
weight: You heft the mensa regis board and guess that it weighs about a pound.
description:
This beautiful game board consists of an 11 by 11 grid, of which some of the squares are decorated.  A number of black and white playing pieces come with it.

appraise_text:
The mensa regis board is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: painted terracotta statue of a horse
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a an antique piece of painted pottery shaped to look like a prancing pony.  Its saddle has been painted purple, possibly to match the garb of the Imperial Regiments that often commandeer them.  There has been a small amount of restoration done to the terracotta around the statue's legs, but all in all this is still a nice piece of work. 

appraise_text:
The painted terracotta statue of a horse is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: fine rosewood music stand
weight: about three pounds
description:
Made from beautiful reddish-brown rosewood, this music stand is finely constructed, with three elegantly tapered feet and a wide surface to hold sheet music or books.  The head of the stand features elegant curves around the edge, softening the look of the piece.  There is nothing on the fine rosewood music stand.

appraise_text:
The fine rosewood music stand is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or one item.


item_name: white wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Someone with a true fondness for wood has fashioned this small chair.  Its sturdy frame supports a seat and back of strongly woven white wicker-work, and legs and struts are wound about with fine strips of the same.  A few abstract patterns have been worked into the material, making for an attractive and functional seat.

appraise_text:
The white wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: flying witch silhouetted by the moon stick-on applique
weight: about half a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A flying witch silhouetted by the moon.

appraise_text:
The flying witch silhouetted by the moon stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: short sword [build-a-bear]
description: This is a miniature short sword.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The short sword is about three inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: garlic sausage with potatoes
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a slightly spicy sausage flavoured with lots of garlic and some other herbs.  Though you still can't tell what kind of meat is in it, it looks much nicer than the average sausage sold in Ankh-Morpork.  The plate also contains some mashed potatoes which, while not looking that appetising, smell great, provided you like garlic that is.


item_name: smelly seed [build-a-bear]
appraise_text: The smelly seed is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a replica of a smelly seed.  It has been crafted using wood and some excellent paintwork.  There is a small strap on it.


item_name: rose gold incense burner
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This incense burner is a shallow rose gold dish with a small depression, suitable for a block of incense.  It is supported by a slender fluted pillar of polished satinwood, its tawny length gleaming slightly.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The rose gold incense burner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of gold and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or three items.


item_name: small block of cinnamon incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of cinnamon.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of cinnamon incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: plain wooden box
weight: about a pound
special_find_note: Found in Hilta Goatfounder's shelves.
description:
This is a small, plain wooden box.  It is obviously just meant for shipping or storage, as the wood is quite rough and it has no decorations or other nice things going for it.

appraise_text:
The plain wooden box is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: altar-style display cabinet
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This is a tall pine altar-style display cabinet that has a glass front to ensure that its contents are well protected and topped with a flared roof panel that is slightly wider than the main body of the cabinet.  The cabinet, made of waxed pine, has several brass accents on the four doors and three small drawers which inhabit its front face.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The altar-style display cabinet is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: magic alibi ball
appraise_text: The magic alibi ball is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of ceramic.
weight: less than a pound
description:
There is nothing truly magical about this ball, but it does do a neat little trick.  The ball itself is painted a shiny black and a small glass porthole has been installed in one side.  Through the round glass window you can see that it is filled with an inky blue liquid.  If you hold the ball with the window upright, a multi-faceted floating block with various alibis printed on it will rise up and reveal an excuse for why it couldn't possibly have been you.  To see a different alibi simply shake the ball.


item_name: ancient Sung vase
special_find_note: 778b02b2dd8fc0383125824d6f0ed023e03d4bae
description:
The vase stands about twelve inches tall from its base to lip.  The base is narrow and nips in slightly before the body of the vase expands out and up to the lip.  The lip is as narrow as the base and so the body of the vase curves in to meet it.  It is completely hand painted with deep blue leaves and the occasional golden flower.  A solitary golden carp frolics on one side and glints as the light catches it.  The eyes and scales of the koi carp stand out because they are decorated with tiny flecks of blue.  This looks like a very delicate and valuable antique and should probably be handled with great care.


item_name: bottle of deadly nightshade bubblebath
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of violet through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.


item_name: barrel umbrella stand
description: This small wooden barrel is quite narrow, making it very suitable for use as an umbrella stand.
weight: about ten pounds
appraise_text:
The barrel umbrella stand is about three feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or five items.


item_name: glass-topped maple desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is an elegant L-shaped desk, made of high quality maple wood and topped with a pane of glass.  Under the glass, the wood has been inlaid with little triangles of wood in different colours, radiating out in a delicate, hypnotic pattern from the centre.  There is nothing on the glass-topped maple desk.

appraise_text:
The glass-topped maple desk is about five feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: rosewood drum stool
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
A squat seat, it is easy to see how this rosewood drum stool got its name.  Shaped like a tall snare drum that has been pushed out from the inside, its top and bottom separated by seven unique bands of curved and glistening rosewood that have been inlaid with mother of pearl, this is truly a unique piece that would compliment almost any decorative style. 

appraise_text:
The rosewood drum stool is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Perfect Storm
weight: about a pound
description:
A large cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of dark blue cocktail with white swirls.  It is almost completely full.

appraise_text:
The cocktail glass is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: Wet 'n' Wild
weight: about a pound
description:
A thin cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of deep violet, red and green layered cocktail.  It is almost completely full.


item_name: single dragon and sword wall piece
weight: about five pounds
description:
This elegant wall piece comprises a long, slender sword with an elaborate hilt crafted in a miniature sun likeness in gold.  Holding the blade upright, point towards the ground, is a large silver dragon, tail wrapped around the blade several times.  Its wings are draped down its back to glide gracefully down the blade, almost as if caressing it.  While highly stylised, the dragon is crafted with careful detail and much tiny fretwork, making it quite life-like at first glance.  Seeing as that the blade cannot be pried loose from the dragon's claws and tail and that it probably would be about as useful in combat as a dull spoon, this wall piece has no real use but that for which it was designed: taking up space in a really elegant way.

appraise_text:
The single dragon and sword wall piece is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rocky Sandelfon doll
weight: less than a pound
description:
This doll is, well, rather un-doll-like.  In fact, it might be better described as being a rock.  Not a cuddly plush rock, just a lump of granite.

appraise_text:
The rocky Sandelfon doll is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of granite.


item_name: white lever
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This lever is painted an almost blinding white colour.  Somehow, it feels like nothing could stain this immaculate white.  The lever is mounted on a thin wooden box, ready to hang on a wall.

appraise_text:
The white lever is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: simple oak mantelpiece
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This oak mantel is simply crafted, with a plain fluted design about the front.  In the centre is a raised design, a series of carved steps leading from either side into a plain square.  There is nothing on the simple oak mantelpiece.

appraise_text:
The simple oak mantelpiece is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 7 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: Ankh-Morpork coat of arms sticker
weight: less than a pound
description:
Per bend sinister and per pale; first vert, semy of cabbages proper; second and third argent, a money bag Or; fourth sable; overall three scarps wavy azure... Alright, it's the Ankh-Morpork coat of arms, onna sticker.  The hippos look a bit old and tired from holding it up, and the paint has bled a bit, smudging the morpork's feathers and the cabbage leaves.

appraise_text:
The Ankh-Morpork coat of arms sticker is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: tall wooden wardrobe
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
Over six foot tall, this wardrobe offers plenty of space to store the clothes of an entire Morporkian family.  Their Ankhian counterparts might have more problems, but looking at the cheap wooden planks this wardrobe is made of, it probably wouldn't suit their taste anyway.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The tall wooden wardrobe is about six feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: square gift box
weight: about a pound
description:
This square box is made from pine and has a hinged lid.  A small gift could be secreted away in it.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The gift box is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: some dandelion
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of dandelion, about one stalk.  Tiny yellow dandelions that produce magnificent yellow pollen.


item_name: red mullet
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This beautiful red mullet shines a variety of colours from purple through bright red to a brilliant orange on its fins.  Its belly is covered with pink and green scales.


item_name: Ankh-Morpork souvenir card (closed)
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a muddy brown card that appears to emit a faint smell.  There's an artistic picture of the venerable Ankh-Morpork coat of arms on it, and underneath the words "Welcome to Ankh-Morpork, City of Thousand Surprises."  It is closed.  There is some fine handwriting on the outside.

appraise_text:
The Ankh-Morpork souvenir card (closed) is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of card.


item_name: nougat and orange milk chocolate praline
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
A bite sized piece of soft nougat made from the finest honey and candied oranges hand dipped in milk chocolate and decorated with a little squiggle of orange peel.  It looks delicious and is probably quite expensive.


item_name: pointy black hat [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is your typical, common or garden pointy black hat as worn by many a witch.  Its diminutive size would stop the smallest of heads from wearing it.

appraise_text:
The black pointy hat is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: unfinished yeti [build-a-bear]
description: This is a toy yeti, or at least it will be when it's completed.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The unfinished toy yeti is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of fur and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: small cauldron [Endless street house]
weight: 4 4/9 lb
special_find_note: d53ae373aec1f846e5516318687703ac43b7a76a
description:
The small black cauldron has obviously been used for cooking for a large number of years.  The encrusted dirt and protein enhancing things attached to the cauldron give it away.

appraise_text:
The small cauldron is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of iron and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 8 pounds, about fifty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: postcard of Slice
appraise_text: The postcard of Slice is about a foot long and about nine inches wide. It is made of paper.
description:
This is a glossy piece of cardboard depicting the sights and attractions of the village of Slice.  This particular card depicts a Rock and a Hard Place at night.  As can be imagined, this means the postcard is little more than a black background with slightly lighter black highlights.  Still, it's probably amusing to those who have had their sense of humour surgically removed.


item_name: big water half-hour glass
weight: about three pounds
description:
This timepiece consists of two big glass chambers joined with a thin neck.  It is filled with green coloured water.  Controlling the flow is achieved, as usually with hourglasses, by turning it.  The upper chamber is empty.

appraise_text:
The big hourglass is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: circular birdbath
weight: about forty pounds
description:
A simple white marble circle, this birdbath fits discreetly into any well-tended garden.  It has no decorations of its own, so as not to draw the eye away from the birds and the sparkling water.

appraise_text:
The circular birdbath is about eleven feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: cherry ghoul bookshelf
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
The entire frame of this bookshelf has been constructed out of suspiciously human-like bones carved from fine cherry wood.  Such wood may naturally be associated with something rather sweet, but it does nothing to soften the overall impression whatsoever.  A couple of devilish ghouls are clinging firmly onto the sides of the bookshelf.  The carving accentuates their partially rotten bodies and needle sharp teeth as they rip the last bits of flesh off the wooden bones.  Their lifeless eyes that look down upon the shelves are merely glass beads, but this does not make the effect any less daunting.  There is nothing on the cherry ghoul bookshelf.

appraise_text:
The cherry ghoul bookshelf is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of cherry wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: simple oinochoe
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This simple wine jug follows the classic Ephebian design for an oinochoe, having just one handle and a wide trefoil mouth for pouring wine from.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The simple oinochoe is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 10 pounds, about one hundred and fifty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: steel axe head
weight: about a pound and a half
special_find_note: Found in Copperhead mines.
description:
This is a broad, glimmeringly sharp axe head made of tempered dwarf steel.  There's only one side of it - the other is missing, with a twisted break where it would be.  If you had some other pieces, you might be able to forge them back together.

appraise_text:
The steel axe head is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of dwarf steel.


item_name: serving of lamb with rice and extra-hot curry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This piece of meat, which according to the menu is lamb, has been drenched in a strong, red sauce.  It lies within a ring of almost fresh rice.


item_name: pattern of flowering daisies stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A pattern of flowering daisies.

appraise_text:
The pattern of flowering daisies stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: bag of chocolate toffees
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small rectangular paper bag of a chic and tasteful, deep dark green.  Painted on it in suave gold letters is the word "Hayaryu's".  The spartan green bag contains:  ten lumps of toffee.  It is open.


item_name: enormous spider carapace
weight: 15 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Loot from Queen Shelox.
description:
This is a piece of an enormous spider carapace.  It looks impossibly solid and strong, although that doesn't seem to have done the original owner much good.

appraise_text:
The enormous spider carapace is about four feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of octiron and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: ornamental huamu wood chest
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This big chest is made of huamu wood.  It is adorned with ornamental details that depict lotuses on each corner.  The ornaments and lock are made of shiny brass.  It looks heavy and is almost big enough to fit a human in it.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The ornamental huamu wood chest is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: clay vase
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a clay vase.  It has a wide curved base which gets smaller at the neck with a wide rim around the top.  It has been decorated in the native, Djelibeybi style.  It bears the hallmark of the Djelibeybi Potter.

appraise_text:
The clay vase is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, ten items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: meerschaum ashtray with a Djelian motif
weight: less than a pound
description:
As meerschaum is a creamy white mineral that comes from the sea where it floats ashore on the waves - or so the carvers of meerschaum claim!  When meerschaum dries, it becomes extremely hard and durable.  When the craftsman gave shape to the stone in his skilled hands, he aspired to create the visionary beauty of a ring of Djelian handmaidens doing a complex ring dance.  There is nothing on the meerschaum ashtray with a Djelian motif.

appraise_text:
The meerschaum ashtray with a Djelian motif is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of stone.  It can hold less than one pound.


item_name: star oak cylinder stove
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
It would be appropriate if the designer who created this stove had the tune of "Star light, Star Bright, first star I see tonight," in his head when he created it.  It's always been guessed that this is how this particular stove got its name, because it shines wherever it is, day or night.  When there's a fire going, the glow of the flames through its radiant mica window warms the room, and when there's no fire going, the shine from its nickel legs, apron, draft control, dome and finial sparkles like a star.  There is nothing on the star oak cylinder stove.

appraise_text:
The star oak cylinder stove is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: black lacquer coffin
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a fine black lacquer coffin.  It is made from sturdy cedar and oak.  It has a beautiful interior of red silk and white lace.  This lovely coffin is just the thing to bury your dear departed brother, friend, or spouse in.  You could probably heft a corpse into this coffin.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The black lacquer coffin is about eight and a half feet long and about four and a half feet wide.  It is black and is made of cedar and oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 444 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: bamboo chest
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Being made out of bamboo, this chest would hardly withstand any attempt to force it open.  For this very reason, no lock has been attached to it.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The bamboo chest is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of bamboo and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: golden ebony wood wardrobe
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
Tall and imposing this wardrobe looms towards the ceiling.  The crafter obviously gave a great deal of thought to its construction in selecting different woods to present contrasts and blends.  The darkest of ebony seems to swallow the light highlighting miniature scrollwork picked out in gold across its surface, giving way to dusky madrona.  The spirals and knots give the impression of smoke curling slowly around the borders of the doors and around the brass handles.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The golden ebony wood wardrobe is about seven feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: lady's kimono
special_find_note: a4a93b269a40e4b3ea721d61580553c7be44c6ea
description:
This is a beautiful silk kimono.  It belonged to Lord McSweeney's First Wife, who donated it to the stage room after meeting Lord Fang's third wife in an almost identical one at a tea party (with the unspoken command that it be used whenever the Fangs visit).  It is a sea-green colour with a pattern of subtle greens and blues running down it that evoke a waterfall in full flow.


item_name: pair of iron gauntlets
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
These gauntlets seem rather crude but will probably be effective nonetheless.  They are made from a grey, almost black, iron with the surfaces left unpolished and slightly rough.

appraise_text:
The pair of iron gauntlets is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: copy of "Craggy and Beautiful"
description:
The cover of this magazine has a rather unusual diorama of rocks positioned in rather unusual and decidedly unnatural positions.  It's the kind of thing that would provoke comments like "Would ya look at da strata on dat one!"


item_name: yellow anaconda
appraise_text: You appraise the yellow anaconda and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a nice large yellow anaconda.  It looks like it would look really good draped around your neck.  It is in good shape.  It is lying.  It looks perfectly happy.


item_name: Shark Bite
weight: about a pound
description:
A tiny cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of thick black liquid, with a blossom of red in the centre.  It is almost completely full.


item_name: potted silk cabbage plant
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Rare and magnificent!  Strange and exotic!  Potted in a subtly plain pot, this fine silk-leafed brassica has been created in Sum Dim by none other than Brown Fingers Dibbler, purveyor of the finest silken forn plants.  Its leaves even look as though they have been nibbled slightly by a caterpillar, for the authentic touch.

appraise_text:
The potted silk cabbage plant is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: the first part of the Cohen Tapestry
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is the first panel of the Cohen tapestry, a four-panelled artwork that depicts the conquests of Cohen the Barbarian in a handwoven design.  Each panel is only a foot high, but almost as long as the room.  The panels are edged with a fine ivy-leaf motif, and bordered with a pale wooden frame.  This panel shows Cohen's arrival in the Counterweight Continent via the aquaducts of the city.  Cohen and his cohorts are dressed in loose white clothes.

appraise_text:
The first panel of the Cohen tapestry is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Crunchy Calamari
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
These succulent slices of squid have been dunked into boiling batter just long enough to make them crunchy on the outside yet still juicy and tender on the inside.  The circular slices have been stacked into a pyramid on your plate and are best eaten hot.


item_name: rough-hewn birdbath
weight: about forty pounds
description:
Cut from grey marble to achieve a rough-hewn rocky look, this is basically a slab of stone with a more or less circular basin in the middle to contain water. It fits well into a garden atmosphere of sylvan wilderness.

appraise_text:
The rough-hewn birdbath is about ten feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: white rosewood desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a sturdy old writing desk, made of heavy rosewood, painted with a creamy white paint.  Four drawers are set in the front, each with a simple brass handle.  There is nothing on the white rosewood desk.

appraise_text:
The white rosewood desk is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: large cobalt blue bottle
description: This is a large cobalt blue glass bottle. It is open.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The large cobalt blue bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: Pink Fishie ice cream cone
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Three scoops of Pink Fishie, which is a light strawberry ice cream with little sugar fishes mixed in, are piled high onto a triangular sugar cone.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: packet of eight cigars
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a cigar case made from thin sheets of wood.  It has two crossed cigars and a tobacco leaf printed on its lid.  It looks as if it could contain eight cigars.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The wooden cigar case is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: Gappic robe [build-a-bear]
weight: about three pounds
description:
This tiny golden robe has been created for a worshipper of Gapp.  It has many different folds and patterns on it, all looking very stylish indeed!

appraise_text:
The golden Gappic robe is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is gold and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Dragon Lady parlour stove
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This stove is grand, stately and is often known by most of its owners as the 'Dragon Lady'.  Having claws on its feet, dragons along both its sides, and two dragons on its finial, the inspiration for its creation came from the chief bureaucrat in charge of stove manufacturing in Sum Dim.  The bureaucrat was a woman and she was at once elegant, warm and inviting, greatly admired, and greatly feared.  She ignited diligence and quality craftsmanship from her workers and it shows in this stove's design.  With a breath of fire and a beautiful mica window, this stove casts an unforgettable glow over any room it's in.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the Dragon Lady parlour stove.

appraise_text:
The Dragon Lady parlour stove is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: bottle of Fine Morporkian Wine
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large red glass bottle.  The label claims this bottle contains "Fine Morporkian Wine", which is about as close to a health warning as you'll get in Ankh-Morpork.  The large red bottle is about three-quarters full with one pint of red wine.  It is about three-quarters full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large red bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: gold-leafed garden fishbowl
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Reading a story that is visualised on an art object is a particular kind of enjoyment.  A scene from the Agatean classic, 'The Dream of Red Chamber' is hand-painted on this sixteen-inch fishbowl, in which the heroine expresses forbidden love in her poetry.  In this scene one also has a glimpse of traditional Agatean house garden.  The colourful scenery is painted over multi-layered gold leaf which has been carefully applied by hand.  Resting on a beautiful hand-polished rosewood base, the shapes of several goldfish can be seen swishing back and forth beneath the water it holds.

appraise_text:
The gold-leafed garden fishbowl is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: leaf-bladed dagger
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
Forged from a single piece of steel, this dagger has nearly no guard and a simple, rounded pommel.  The blade curves in sharply just above the wielder's hand, before flaring out in a graceful, symmetrical curve designed to inflict deep, messily bleeding wounds.

appraise_text:
The leaf-bladed dagger is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: glass of beer
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a fairly large glass with a few chips in it from use, other than that it holds liquids not much more can be said about it.  The glass of beer is completely full with one pint of beer.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The glass of beer is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: copper dagger
weight: 1 7/9 lb
description:
A medium knife with a very thick, curved blade of beaten copper.  It is a traditional Djelian weapon; high on convention, low on practicality.

appraise_text:
The copper dagger is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of copper and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: Sung umbrella stand
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a conical umbrella stand that raises itself up in an smooth-sided cylinder.  Often placed by front doors to house the clothing accessories that are most-loathed, this particular stand has been lacquered with several shades of gold, red, blue, green and cream and depicts the Sung Estate as it is seen from the banks of the Pearl River in the Sum Bing district of Bes Pelargic.  Several white ceramic lions border the estate, guarding it and bestowing several thousand years of good luck upon its inhabitants.

appraise_text:
The Sung umbrella stand is about five feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or five items.


item_name: small canopic jar
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small kiln-fired canopic jar.  Someone has skilfully drawn a romanticised view of the Necropolis before the explosion of the Great Pyramid onto the side of the jar.  The jar is about the right size for storing eyeballs, toes and other smallish bodily parts.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small canopic jar is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, nine items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: centrefold tapestry
weight: about a pound
description:
Centrefold tapestries were originally circulated with the Seamstresses Monthly magazine, folded into thirds in the centre.  They gained popularity among weavers because they are cheap and easy to reproduce with a template.  This particular tapestry features pin-up girl Miss Djelibeybi in shades of pale pink and soft beige.  She hasn't got a stitch on.

appraise_text:
The centrefold tapestry is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rice leaf
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a smallish quantity of brown rice held in an edible leaf.  As there are no tools available with which to eat it, it looks like you'll just have to stick your mouth in and begin chomping.


item_name: broomstick [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small broomstick made from wood and some small lengths of straw, lovingly tied to the broom with string.

appraise_text:
The broomstick is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and straw and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Klatchian coffee table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This coffee table is of your average Klatchian style, with sharp, contrasting edges, and pyramid legs.  It has a lot of modern styling features, making it a coffee table especially for those with class.  It looks very impressive, and seems to make any room complete.  Several pairs of handcuffs hang jauntily from the legs, along with a small key dangling on a delicate chain.  There is nothing on the Klatchian coffee table.

appraise_text:
The Klatchian coffee table is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 8 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: Bottle of Nigorizake Sake
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a bottle of premium Nigorizake sake.  It has a square label stuck to it bearing the laughing panda logo of the Kou Ture Sake Emporium.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Nigorizake bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: swirling pink firework
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The swirling pink firework is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: beautiful krater
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This is a large, beautifully simple wide-mouthed krater with two curled handles and a glazed interior.  It is used in Ephebe to mix water with wine before serving and drinking.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The beautiful krater is about a foot long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 833 pounds, about three hundred and fifty items, or about 3 gallons.


item_name: sturdy violet amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from thick heavy clay, and glazed in a deep violet, this sturdy amphora carries shining gold-enamelled portraits of the two greatest of Ephebian gladiators, Anyphalaxis and Asphexiaton, commemorating their epic battle.  The battle lasted four days and four nights.  On the dawn of the fifth day, a wasps' nest was discovered under a bench by an onlooker, who, distressed, threw it from him.  The nest landed in the midst of the gladiators' battle, and both fought, back to back, until they were overcome by the stings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  Fortunately, the artist chose to depict the less puffy bloated version of the men.  A true warrior's work of art, its handles are thick, shaped for the lusty fists of warriors who crave drink.  Its stopper is solid, able to withstand fumble-fisted abuse, and is handily and cleverly attached to the neck with a thick cotton cord.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The sturdy violet amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: bronzed crook
weight: 7 7/9 lb
description:
This slightly-gnarled crook has an unpleasant sense of malign disapproval about it.  While its shaft is a rather unremarkable length of wood, its head is an unusually abrupt and flat hook which looks, from some angles, rather like a beak.  It has been coated in gleaming bronze, and an impressive collection of huge, grey and white feathers splay out and dangle from where it connects to the rest of the crook.

appraise_text:
The bronzed crook is about seven feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: small yellow conch
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small yellow conch shell.  It's a very nice conch, though.  You definitely haven't seen many better conch shells than this.  It's a premium quality conch.  Can you tell I'm rambling?

appraise_text:
The small yellow conch is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: really really huge candy cane
weight: about two hundred pounds
description:
This candy cane is around six feet long and a foot wide.  It is made of pure white rock candy with big colourful red swirls that run all the way along its glistening length.  Mmm, tasty!

appraise_text:
The really really huge candy cane is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of rock candy.


item_name: decorative map of Klatch
weight: less than half a pound
description:
This beautifully detailed painting depicts the continent of Klatch.  Among other things, it contains an impression of the Great Nef, in the middle of which you can spot the Dehydrated Ocean, depicted so realistically that just looking at it makes you thirsty.  Another eye-catching feature is the tropical forest of Howondaland, so green that you want to go out and plant a tree.  The features that dominate the entire map, however, are the oceans and the Circle Sea, so sparkly that they make you long for a holiday at the pool.  On the edges, little grapes and laughing demons have been added, which make this painting absolute top class.

appraise_text:
The decorative map of Klatch is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: box of washers
weight: about a pound
description:
A wooden box, with a hinged lid, used to store small objects.  The box of washers is about half full with seven small washers.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The box of washers is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: pair of antique soapstone musicians
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a an ancient pair of soapstone statues.  Beautiful in their design and pristine in their preservation, this beautiful pair of early Sung pottery musicians sit side-by-side, one playing a string instrument and the other with her mouth open as if in song.  Neither of the figurines has been painted at any time, so they both bear the greenish-greyed stone that comes with many years of age.

appraise_text:
The pair of antique soapstone musicians is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: wicker-work lamp
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a pleasant little lamp with a wicker-work shade, designed to hang on the wall above a desk or behind a sofa and throw light downwards in a helpful manner.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The wicker-work lamp is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or three items.


item_name: blueberry cone
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is two scoops of rich, creamy blueberry ice cream in a sugared cone.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: dull grey moulded dagger
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Simple but effective, this dagger has been constructed from a single piece of dull grey steel.  The blade is subtly curved and wickedly sharp, continuing without a crossguard to the (thankfully unsharpened) hilt.  A row of finger holes run down the length of the hilt, providing a safe and secure way to wield this elegantly austere dagger.

appraise_text:
The dull grey moulded dagger is about nine inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: sto whopper cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This variety of cabbage grows to a huge size in all weather conditions, and is probably a sport from one of the old duelling varieties.


item_name: bottle of Quirmian red wine
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large green glass bottle.  The large green bottle is completely full with one pint of Quirmian red wine.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large green bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: wooden mantel clock
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a small, wooden clock raised on four little nubs so as to sit slightly above the shelf or mantel it is designed for.  The case is made from honey coloured walnut wood, the top of which is curved in a florid manner, highest over the face.  The clockface itself is cream-coloured and etched with delicate black numerals.  A thick glass cover completes the clock, protecting the face from damage.  The dull, gold-painted hands indicate that it is half past one.

appraise_text:
The wooden mantel clock is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: chlamys
description:
A short piece of cloth worn over the shoulders as a cloak.  It draps over one shoulder and is fastened with silver pins over the other, leaving an opening down the fastened side.  The cloth hangs loosely around the body, reaching to the knee.

appraise_text:
The chlamys is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and cloth and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Congratulations on your Divorce banner
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a bright white banner.  On the left side is a picture of a deserted pigeon nest, while on the right is a chain made of golden bands being broken.

appraise_text:
The Congratulations on your Divorce banner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Temple of Small Gods wedding cake
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about five pounds
description:
This is a wedding cake that has been made to look like the Temple of Small Gods.  Different coloured pieces of marzipan pick out stained glass windows, while carefully sculpted icing forms various architectural features.  In the clock tower stand two figures, a bride and a groom depicted in a happy embrace.


item_name: glass wind chime
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an elegant wind chime.  The chimes are glass facsimiles of daggers.  Each dagger has been outlined in steel and is made with a different colour of glass (black, blue-black, purple-black and silver).  The chimes hang from a steel frame that can either be used as a free-standing unit or attached to a convenient wall or ceiling.

appraise_text:
The glass wind chime is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small clay bowl
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small clay bowl.  It looks as if it would be the perfect size for receiving individual portions of food.  It bears the hallmark of the Djelibeybi Potter.

appraise_text:
The small clay bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: small huamu wood chest
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This small chest is made of huamu wood.  Its lid has a golden dragon painted on it, and the lock on its front is adorned with a brass piece that resembles a dragon's eye.  It is very elegant.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small huamu wood chest is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 16 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: teddy bear with no eyes
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
A poor teddy bear whose eyes are missing.  Whether that makes it adorable or creepy is for the owner to decide.  It has probably passed through the hands of several different children on its way down through the economic classes, given at first to a spoiled rich kid before being handed down again and again to poorer, more appreciative children.

appraise_text:
The teddy bear with no eyes is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: rose-cushioned ebony sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
Elegant and elongated, this is a piece of art as much as it is furniture.  Its dark, smooth-grained ebony frame rises in a gentle curve along the back of the chair to one end, lower towards the other, curling around at either end towards the armrests.  The cushions are set into the frame, and covered with rose-coloured velvet.

appraise_text:
The rose-cushioned ebony sofa is about seventeen and a half feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: camphor trophy cabinet
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This is a camphor display cabinet inlaid with jade that has been shaped into blossoming plum trees.  It has a glass front to ensure that its contents are well protected.  The glass has been etched with a fiery dragon spiralling around a phoenix engulfed by flames.  Supported by various delicate geometric shelves on the inside, you can't help but admire the impressive trophies displayed in this cabinet.   It is open.

appraise_text:
The camphor trophy cabinet is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: sexy looking bed catalogue
weight: about a pound
description:
The catalogue has a lovely picture of two people in bed covered up with red silk sheets on the front cover.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed sexy looking bed catalogue is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: [colour] ink well
weight: less than half a pound
description:
This ink well is a small tin bottle with a wide mouth and a close-fitting cork.  The ink well is completely full with two ounces of black ink.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The ink well is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of tin and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: blackened shell
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a cowrie shell, blackened as if by fire.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Pishe, and is intended to promote good dental health.

appraise_text:
The blackened shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: Zen tapestry
description: This is a single thread of black cotton that hangs from a hook. It is very Zen.
weight: less than half a pound
appraise_text:
The Zen tapestry is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large barrel
description: This is a big barrel that looks like it could be used to contain wine or beer. It is open.
weight: about a hundred pounds
appraise_text:
The large barrel is about five feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 320 pounds, about two hundred and ten items, or about 30 gallons.


item_name: bowl of soup
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is an expensive looking soup bowl designed simply to look nice and hold soup.  The bowl of soup is completely full with one pint of soup.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The bowl of soup is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: painting of a countryside river
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a colourful peasant painting, charmingly called 'Country Wildlife of Birds and Plants in River'.  Strangely symmetrical, the block of blue that constitutes the water is surrounded on the top and bottom of the painting by a series of identical simple orchids which are bent over as if in a breeze.  Several white birds sit on the water, a few flapping their wings as if in mid-takeoff.

appraise_text:
The painting of a countryside river is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: tall wire basket
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
Bands of metal have been spun incredible thinly then woven to form a tall standing container.  A silken inner lining stops smaller contents from falling through.    It is open.

appraise_text:
The tall wire basket is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of metal and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: Kalamata olive
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a large dark purple olive, the skin so dark it's almost black.  Carefully grown on one of the well established olive trees in the groves near Ephebe, this is a perfect olive.  It has an excellent flavour, both rich and fruity, and a tiny stone.


item_name: [adjective] wire-haired retriever
appraise_text: You appraise the black wire-haired retriever and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is a clean-cut, lean, well-balanced hunting dog with an elegantly chiselled head.  Coarse black fur covers much of his face and body, lying in all different directions.  His tail is docked halfway, and his feet are webbed.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.  His fur is irretrievably messy.


item_name: hearts game
description: A bunch of playing cards that looks wonderful for playing a game of hearts with.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The hearts game is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: red leather pouch
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a smart red leather pouch designed for carrying tobacco.  Fine gold stitching holds the pouch firmly together at the seams.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The red leather pouch is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or four items.


item_name: Hattian robe [build-a-bear]
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a miniature robe made to suit any worshipper of Hat.  It has some small party hats sewn into the fabric and a few vultures that appear to be shouting 'Surprise!'

appraise_text:
The burnt orange Hattian robe is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is burnt orange and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: chubby ultra door lock
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a clear packaging for a chubby ultra door lock.  The chubby ultra door lock package is completely full with a chubby ultra door lock and a small brass key.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The chubby ultra door lock package is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: small block of violet-scented incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of violets.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of violet-scented incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: turquoise scarab ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 13 g
description:
This is a beautiful golden ring encrusted with small precious stones.  On the top of the ring is the likeness of a scarab beetle in turquoise.


item_name: white seashell
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a pretty pure white seashell.  It sparkles lightly from the light surrounding it.  The form is that of a fan, with ridges running from the round edge to the centre.

appraise_text:
The white seashell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: metallic [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of metallic [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of metallic [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: The aromatic oil of crushed lemon balm leaves
appraise_text: The small creamy yellow amphora is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: less than a pound
description:
Fashioned from quality clay and glazed a delicate shade of creamy yellow, this small amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in white.  A classical Ephebian design, it is quite charming in a certain epicene way.  Its ears are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is decorated with a simple, wavy black line and fastened to the amphora with a braided silk bond in pearly white.  It is almost full of crushed lemon balm leaf perfume, which could be applied to someone.


item_name: Welcome to PK banner
description: This is a big banner in solid black, which is lined with pictures of tiny crying wombles.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The Welcome to PK banner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: blowfish meal
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
Made from the highly poisonous blowfish, this meal is so named as diners are often delighted to be alive after consuming it.


item_name: bag of walnuts
description:
This is a little brown paper bag which is designed to hold a number of small items.  It has a colourful picture of a big pile of walnuts.


item_name: adamantine [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of adamantine [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of adamantine [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: stained battle axe
weight: 4 lb
description:
The serrated blade of this battle axe is covered with stains - possibly rust but probably blood.  The Klatchian steel from which the axe is formed glints at you as it catches the light between the stains, seeming almost to wink as if at some shared secret.  This is the sort of axe that whispers to its owner, inspiring bloody rampages for the sheer joy of tearing flesh and shattering bone.

appraise_text:
The stained battle axe is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: clear glazed amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed with a clear gaze to allow the purity of the clay to shine through, this amphora carries a simple imprint of a bunch of grapes, a pattern repeated at regular intervals.  A work of fine art, despite its practical use, its handles are short and rounded to allow easy carrying.  Its round stopper is made of pressed cork and is attached to the neck by a short thick cord.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The clear glazed amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: bamboo matchstick screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This double-sided screen has been constructed by lashing long bamboo poles together so that four distinct interconnected panels are hinged together when it is standing.  A lovely tan colour, the texture is rough and the knots in the wood give it a rustic minimalist look.

appraise_text:
The bamboo matchstick screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: glass tumbler of lime juice
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a short glass tumbler, of the sort usually found in pubs and restaurants.  The glass tumbler of lime juice is completely full with one cup of lime juice.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The glass tumbler of lime juice is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: traditional red futon
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This red mattressed futon is made of a pad of tufted cotton batting covered with red cotton cloth, set in a lacquered oaken frame.  The frame allows the futon to rest comfortably a few inches above the ground, its hard mattress a must for those craving a little punishment combined with a good night's sleep.  It looks comfortable and is the perfect thing to have if you are into the whole minimalistic trend for your home.  The futon has been folded out into a bed.

appraise_text:
The traditional red futon is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pink cascade bridal bouquet
weight: about a pound
description:
The pink flowers in this bouquet cascade down like a waterfall, giving a very pleasing look.  In it are roses, lilies, carnations, and sweet williams, all set against a background of wispy green foliage.

appraise_text:
The pink cascade bridal bouquet is about nine inches long and about a foot wide.  It is made of flowers and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: dead chicken
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is the dead body of a bedraggled chicken.  Most people would pluck the few feathers on it and then cook it.


item_name: Bottle of Tangbrini Sake
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a bottle of premium Tangbrini sake.  It has a square label stuck to it bearing the laughing panda logo of the Kou Ture Sake Emporium.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Tangbrini bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Grim's Old Blower Tobacco
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown leather pouch designed for carrying tobacco.  The stitching at the seams is slightly ragged.  The brown leather pouch is about one-quarter full with one handful of Grim's old blower tobacco.  It is open.


item_name: disposable impstomatic
weight: about a pound
description:
A cardboard box with a small window on one side.  Behind the window is a tiny imp waiting in front of an easel, palette in one tiny hand.  It is a cheaper version of its more sophisticated cousins and could probably be used to take a couple of iconographs before being discarded.

appraise_text:
The disposable camera is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: Nuns Legs
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of Nuns Legs, about one stalk.  It is a short plant, its stems covered with dark, bristly hairs.  As all insects seem to studiously avoid it, nobody can quite explain how it actually procreates.


item_name: Tsortean metal shield
weight: 12 lb
description:
This is a large metal shield of the type issued to soldiers in the Tsortean army.  It is about three feet tall, rectangular and slightly curved.  It looks very effective.

appraise_text:
The Tsortean metal shield is about three and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of steel and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: small clay cup
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small, unadorned, and cheaply made clay cup, with thin, slightly curved walls and no handle.

appraise_text:
The small clay cup is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: large pine shelf
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a large, plain pine shelf.  It's perfect to display a large collection of prized items, or some larger heirlooms.  There is nothing on the large pine shelf.

appraise_text:
The large pine shelf is about four feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of pine and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 16 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: Bed of the Seven + One Veils
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a large, four-poster bed made out of polished brass.  Each post is swathed in seven + one silk scarves in a rainbow of brilliant colours.  The canopy of the bed is midnight blue silk with tiny silver stars sewed on.

appraise_text:
The Bed of the Seven + One Veils is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Pet Backward Walking Sheep
appraise_text: You appraise the backward walking sheep and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This sheep has an interesting way of walking, namely backwards.  Although to be fair all sheep born and bred in Slippery Hollow seem to walk backwards; must be something in the air.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her wool is silky and smooth.


item_name: painting of the palace of Genua
weight: about five pounds
description:
The painting here is of a bird's eye view of the fairy-tale castle that stands at the heart of the city of Genua.  Its ice-cream cone turrets have numerous flags and banners fluttering in the breeze from the parapets.  Around the base of the palace can be seen the elegant white-bricked mansions that saturate the most affluent district of the city.  The neatly tended gardens of the palace can be seen clearly in the painting, picked out in delicate and accurate hues.

appraise_text:
The painting of the palace of Genua is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Pishite robe [build-a-bear]
weight: about three pounds
description:
This tiny Pishite robe has been made for a worshipper of Pishe.  There appear to be small rainclouds sewn onto the sleeves, evoking a feeling of serenity.

appraise_text:
The cyan Pishite robe is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is cyan and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: The bottled scent of ocean breezes
appraise_text: The small midnight blue amphora is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: less than a pound
description:
Fashioned from quality clay and glazed a delicate shade of midnight blue, this small amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in white.  A classical Ephebian design, it is quite charming in a certain epicene way.  Its ears are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is decorated with a simple, wavy black line and fastened to the amphora with a braided silk bond in pearly white.  It is almost full of ocean breeze perfume, which could be applied to someone.


item_name: elegant stiletto
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
The blade of this slender knife is made of the finest steel, whereas the handle consists of silver and is crafted into a bull's head.

appraise_text:
The elegant stiletto is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: small marble child statue
weight: about four pounds
description:
A life-size toddler, looking a tad wobbly on his legs, looks around with the inquisitiveness of the very young.  Cut from shiny white marble, he is entirely naked and lovable in the plump way of children who have barely learned to walk.  You can almost imagine the grass on his little knees in a moment or the ants he'll be catching the instant you turn your back on him.

appraise_text:
The small marble child statue is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: carved scarab side table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This small intricately carved table bears a detailed Djelian design featuring scarab beetles, pyramids and depictions of the Djelian pantheon.  It is made from sandalwood.  There is nothing on the carved scarab side table.

appraise_text:
The carved scarab side table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: simple terracotta amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Fashioned from burnt terracotta and glazed a dark shade of rusty earth red, this amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in black.  A classical Ephebian design, it lies in the cheaper range of amphorae, yet not as cheap as to thrown away after a single use.  Its handles are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is a simple round block decorated with a meander key pattern and fastened to the amphora's neck with a leather thong.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The simple terracotta amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: sticky toffee rat-onna-stick
description:
This is a favourite of dwarfish children everywhere, a plump and juicy rat which has been lightly fried then drizzled in caramelised sugar and treacle.  It looks as if just a nibble on it would warrant a trip to the dentist.


item_name: black silk beanbag
weight: about five pounds
description:
This immense, squishy beanbag is made from thick black silk.  The Assassins' Guild coat of arms has been embroidered in the middle with black and silver thread, causing it to glint dangerously in the light.  The beanbag is filled, predictably, with millions of beans.

appraise_text:
The black silk beanbag is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is black and is made of silk and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rickety oak desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is an aged oak desk, triangular, to fit into the corner of a room.  Two drawers are set into it, one on either side, and one wooden leg has gone a bit wobbly.  It has been darkened, and polished well.  There is nothing on the rickety oak desk.

appraise_text:
The rickety oak desk is about eight and a half feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: stately mirror
weight: about seven pounds
description:
Two gilt-covered figures, male and female, extend their arms to support this full-length mirror.  Its frame, gripped in wooden hands, is a dense network of silver wires, with the occasional flash of gold.  An oaken rim runs around the inner edge of the frame, and into this is set a flawless mirror.  It is too dark to see much in the room.

appraise_text:
The stately mirror is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "Flatulus" Flag
weight: less than a pound
description:
This flag is for anyone wishing to express just how much they adore Flatulus, the God of Winds.  You could probably "wave" the flag if you wanted to.

appraise_text:
The "Flatulus" Flag is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: candy broomstick
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small broomstick made of spun sugar.  The shape is a bit vague but it certainly looks full of sugary goodness.


item_name: edible flower
description:
This is a rather strange creation - an edible flower.  Its stem is made from some kind of bright green chocolate, which makes you wonder about its use by date.  The bud is made of chocolate and icing sugar, sugar being the operative word: there is probably enough energy in this rose to make a corpse hyperactive.


item_name: Shop Owner's Guide
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a brilliant vermilion coloured book with lots of pictures of money on the front cover.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed brilliant vermilion book is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: owl clock
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a wooden clock carved roughly into the shape of an owl.  The tail twitches back and forth, somewhat like a pendulum, and the owl's eyes roll cheerfully left and right with each tick of the clock.  A small set of tiles, strung on a metal rod and affixed to the owl's feet, tells the date.  According to the clock it is twenty-five past one on Friday the 1st of June.

appraise_text:
The owl clock is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: cream wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Someone with a true fondness for wood has fashioned this small chair.  Its sturdy frame supports a seat and back of strongly woven cream wicker-work, and legs and struts are wound about with fine strips of the same.  A few abstract patterns have been worked into the material, making for an attractive and functional seat.

appraise_text:
The cream wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: glass bead
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a shiny glass bead, almost an inch across, with a hole through the middle.  Mmm, shiny.  It has been dedicated hopefully to The Seus, and is intended to promote sweet-smelling breath.

appraise_text:
The glass bead is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: pattern of flowering marigolds stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A pattern of flowering marigolds.

appraise_text:
The pattern of flowering marigolds stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: harbour postcard
appraise_text: The postcard is about six inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
The picture on this postcard is pretty crowded, but fortunately all the details are clearly visible.  The river Djel is visible here and there, with the famous toothed logs floating innocently on its surface.  Many ships are anchored in the harbour, and lots or sailors are going about their tasks.  Altogether it creates an impression of a great and prosperous port.


item_name: shot glass of vodka
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a nicely made shot glass, of the sort usually used to serve spirit measures in pubs and restaurants.  The shot glass of vodka is about half full with three teaspoons of vodka.  It is about half full.

appraise_text:
The shot glass of vodka is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, four items, or about 1 shot.


item_name: rising sun wardrobe
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This structure almost reaches to the height of man.  Carefully crafted of genuine Agatean pine, the simple two-door design has been supplemented by a few aesthetic touches.  The doors have each been given a faux panelling effect, their central inserts artistically constructed in such a fashion as to have a central circle surrounded by the grain of the wood flowing away from it.  They look quite a lot like the sun would on a misty day.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The rising sun wardrobe is about seven feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of pine and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: clear blue amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed the bright clear blue of an Ephebian sky, this amphora carries a white bas-relief of the gods, dressed in Ephebian style, dining along a long table.  Each god carries his or her own sacred symbol, the detailed carved with the loving hand of a truly faithful artist.  A religious work of art, its handles are uplifted for easier movement.  Its star-shaped stopper is attached to the neck by a glittering silver cord.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The clear blue amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: small block of silvery incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have a soothing odour.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of silvery incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: deep violet perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The deep violet perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: mahogany nightstand with brass accents
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This mahogany nightstand has been adorned with large brass accents.  Large lips of brass curl around its dark edges to display themselves proudly.  It has been designed to be quite short, thus fitting in with other Auriental bedroom furnishings.  There is nothing on the mahogany nightstand with brass accents.

appraise_text:
The mahogany nightstand with brass accents is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: curry powder
description:
This is a a small pile of yellowy-orange powder, about one handful.  Curry powder was developed for those who wish to make curry without needing fresh spices.  Enjoy the taste of Klatch!


item_name: brightly coloured windsock
weight: about a pound
description:
This brightly coloured windsock is made from cotton and depicts a large blue thundercloud being chivvied along by a mighty gust of wind.

appraise_text:
The brightly coloured windsock is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: country kitchen table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a square kitchen table.  The tabletop has been so skilfully crafted that it is nearly seamless and appears to have been carved from a single piece of wood.  It has a single pedestal leg that tapers down to the floor where the craftsman's mark of a single oak leaf has been carved out of solid oak to form the foot.  Its smooth tabletop and pedestal leg could be painted or otherwise decorated.  There is nothing on the country kitchen table.

appraise_text:
The country kitchen table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: glass of red wine
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an expensive looking wine glass made to hold your glass of wine (though it would probably also hold someone else's glass of wine just as well).  The glass of red wine is completely full with seven ounces of red wine.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The glass of red wine is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: painting of a landscape near BhangBhangDuc
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a watercolour painting of a misty Agatean landscape.  Probably of somewhere near BhangBhangDuc, the features of the painting include sharp cliffs, misty recesses, green hollows and a single wiry tree that has been painted a peculiar shade of blue.

appraise_text:
The painting of a landscape near BhangBhangDuc is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: eyeball [build-a-bear]
appraise_text: The eyeball is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a replica of an eyeball.  It has been crafted using wood and some excellent paintwork.  There is a small strap on it.


item_name: black dress [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a miniature version of a black dress, usually worn by witches.  It is the best kind of colour for this, black.

appraise_text:
The black dress is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: palace postcard
appraise_text: The postcard is about six inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
A monumental sight is featured on this postcard, namely the Pharaohs' Palace of Djelibeybi.  Part of the Square of the Ancestors can be seen with its grand statues, and in the very centre, the palace itself.  A huge staircase leads towards the great gates of the edifice, with columns on either side.  The sandstone and limestone seems to be shining in the sun.


item_name: reddish wooden chair
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a plain chair made out of sturdy reddish wood.  It's not very decorative, but it will last for some time, and stand around in an unassuming way in the kitchen.

appraise_text:
The reddish wooden chair is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: piece of red clay
appraise_text: The piece of red clay is about four inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of clay.
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a piece of reddish-orange clay commonly found near Ephebe.  You could probably cast a piece of pottery with it if you had access to the right equipment.


item_name: apple-wood chest
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Carved from soft, untreated apple wood, this small chest still gives off the faint sweet scent of its fruit.  It is carved along simple, uncomplicated lines, nothing fancy, but very home-like and peaceful.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The apple-wood chest is about six feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 33 pounds, or about seventy items.


item_name: decorative map of the Ramtops
weight: less than half a pound
description:
This painting has been created to capture all that is great about the Ramtops.  Sitting in the centre is of course Cori Celesti which seems to be very cold with a small yeti or a large man falling from it.  Rimwards are the Lancre Moors which have been depicted here as full of magic and warping the painting slightly.  No map of the Ramtops would be complete without Bad Ass, although the artist seems to have just drawn a large black witches hat instead of any buildings, probably with good reason.  Around the outside of the map are yetis, witches and broomsticks each looking like they could climb out of the map if they wanted to.

appraise_text:
The decorative map of the Ramtops is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pirate flag
weight: about four pounds
description:
This huge rectangle of black material is a genuine example of the feared 'Jolly Roger', a flag flown by pirates through the multiverse.  The design is simple... a white grinning skull in the centre of the flag, with a pair of crossed bones underneath.  The flag has had a number of hooks inserted artificially at the top, meaning that it can be hung in the same way as a painting or poster.  It is undoubtedly a fine piece of pirate regalia and likely to provoke conversation wherever it is hung... particularly if it is hung from the mast of your own boat.

appraise_text:
The pirate flag is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: olives stuffed with garlic
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a shallow, unadorned, and cheaply made clay dish.  The small clay dish is almost completely full with seven garlic olives.  It is almost completely full.

appraise_text:
The small clay dish is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: light grey marble fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This fireplace consists of a marble mantlepiece, surround and hearth constructed around a heatproof brick fire pit.  Clearly made by a skilled craftsperson, the light grey marble has been polished to almost a mirror shine that is set off nicely by its black veins.  It would add a touch of opulent grandeur to any home.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the light grey marble fireplace.

appraise_text:
The light grey marble fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: piece of plain white packaging paper
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a lovely big piece of plain white packaging paper.  It looks like it could be used to wrap up something as a package.  Try wrapping up your gift in it.

appraise_text:
The piece of plain white packaging paper is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 25 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: coprolite fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
The mantelpiece, surround and hearth of this fireplace are all constructed of... well... faeces.  Fossilised faeces, to be precise.  The biggest mystery is that the creature that left its business lying around must have been truly enormous because it appears that each element of this fireplace has been carved from a single piece of the material.  Despite its origin, the polished coprolite is actually a rather pleasing golden brown colour with reddish-orange patches.  It would undoubtedly be a wonderful conversation piece - although it would probably be unwise to dwell on the topic of such a conversation.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the coprolite fireplace.

appraise_text:
The coprolite fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: stone topped counter
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a small, sturdy cabinet, made of thick oak planks beams, and reinforced with moderately ornate metal bands.  The top is a slab of grey rock, about one inch thick.  It looks rather heavy.  It could make a nice, sturdy counter for a kitchen or bathroom, or it can even serve as a nightstand.  It is open.  It has one top drawer.

appraise_text:
The stone topped counter is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: small sand four-minute glass
weight: about a pound
description:
This timepiece consists of two small glass chambers joined with a thin neck.  It is filled with fine, white sand.  Controlling the flow is achieved, as usually with hourglasses, by turning it.  The upper chamber is empty.

appraise_text:
The small hourglass is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: newbie guide book
appraise_text: The closed newbie guide book is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a guide book for the newbies who rushed through the newbie foyer too fast or are just absent-minded in general.  It contains valuable information on the commands, guilds and the city.  You may <read newbie book>, <open newbie book to page #> and <turn a page of newbie book>.  It is closed.


item_name: Two-Hump Tobacco
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown paper pouch designed for carrying tobacco.  It has a waxy coat to keep the contents dry.  The paper pouch is about one-quarter full with one handful of Two-Hump tobacco.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The paper pouch is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or four items.


item_name: pink fish doll
description: This is a cuddly doll that looks like a big pink fish. It has a serene expression on its face.
appraise_text:
The pink fish doll is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: [colour] garland
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a long chain made of [colour] paper, taped together to form little circles.  The ends are loose and fairly big, so the garland could be hung up somewhere as decoration.

appraise_text:
The [colour] garland is about four feet long and about an inch wide.  It is [colour] and is made of paper.


item_name: some cardamom
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a a small pile of brown cardamom seeds, about one seed.  A plant with a woody stem and rigid, upwards-facing leaves.  Its seeds have a spicy, citrus taste.


item_name: turtle figurine
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small, beautifully crafted turtle figurine.  The head, feet and body have been carved in onyx, while the shell is of iridescent, shimmering mother of pearl.

appraise_text:
The turtle figurine is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bottle of lilac perfume
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of violet crystal.  It is almost full of lilac perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
The violet perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: silky [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of silky [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of silky [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: gingerbread boy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This gingerbread boy appears to have one arm longer than the other.  He has raisins for eyes and the rest of his screaming face is drawn in icing.  With all the screaming going on you would almost miss his tiny wings.


item_name: small waxed paper packet of graveyard dust
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small packet, rather like an envelope, of thick paper that has been waxed to make it more resilient.  The small waxed paper packet is about one-quarter full with one handful of graveyard dust.  It is open.


item_name: Hattian rod [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This miniature crook is slightly-gnarled and has an unpleasant sense of malign disapproval about it.  The wooden shaft is topped with a tiny flat hook that resembles a beak.  It has been coated in gleaming bronze, and adorned with grey and white feathers.

appraise_text:
The bronzed crook is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: choi champion cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an aristocrat among cabbages, smooth, urbane, well connected, likes to be planted close together away from any other Brassica.  Prone to sneering.


item_name: packet of gravel
description:
This is a small and flimsy paper bag, which looks liable to rip and deposit its contents all over the ground at a moment's notice.


item_name: wicker basket [potatoes]
weight: about ten pounds
special_find_note: d2f7d9b7a759d48d3fec9cd50f7c401902051e5e
description:
This handy-sized wicker basket could probably be used to keep a whole lot of different things in, if it weren't for that fact that it has obviously been used to store potatoes in for a long time, and therefore is extremely dirty.  The wicker basket is completely full with fifteen dirty potatoes.

appraise_text:
The wicker basket is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: salmon roll
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is raw salmon, rice and carrots rolled up in kelp.  It looks like it might taste good, assuming you like eating raw fish.


item_name: [adjective] wire-haired terrier
appraise_text: You appraise the patchy wire-haired terrier and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This little wire-haired terrier has a cheerfully officious attitude to the world around him.  His coarse black and tan coat lies in all different directions and his alert ears are folded humorously out of the way.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.  His fur is happily disordered.


item_name: antique food basket
weight: about seven pounds
description:
Used for carrying food in the older times, now refurbished, this antique food basket is now a curious ornament to a contemporary eye.  Still usable for storage, if not for food, the handle is made of bamboo that has been bent into shape.  Retrieved from the Sum Dim countryside, no two of these baskets are alike.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The antique food basket is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 4 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: small glass ibis figurine filled with sand
description:
This tiny hollow ibis has been blown from glass and filled with layers of glittering yellow and black sand.  While very simple and stylised, the lines of the little figurine are graceful and lively


item_name: large sized canopic jar
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a large canopic jar.  Patterns decorate its surface and create a border to small scenes of people building pyramids.  It looks able to accommodate some of those tricky larger organs.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large sized canopic jar is about three inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Arr Plum Plum Plum ice cream cone
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Three scoops of Arr Plum Plum Plum, which is a deep purple plum flavoured ice cream with slices of red and yellow plums mixed in, are piled high onto a triangular sugar cone.  Fruity!  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: black marble sundial
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This sundial is made of a thin spire of black marble that is deeply carved with small black skulls.  The dial is made of an octiron disc, and the gnomon is shaped like a scythe.  It would be a perfect addition to Death's Garden, assuming the sun ever shone there.  No shadow is being cast by the gnomon.

appraise_text:
The black marble sundial is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: block of cinnamon incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small stack of cinnamon scented holy incense, about one block.  It can be burnt to purify the area in preparation for a religious ritual.

appraise_text:
One block of cinnamon incense is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: loaded twelve-sided die
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a die nicely carved from ivory with twelve sides.  This die is special because a secret widget inside of the die can be set, enabling it to land on any side the roller chooses.  The widget is currently set to twelve.

appraise_text:
The loaded twelve-sided die is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: smooth [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of smooth [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of smooth [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: paper cup of stewed, cold tea
description:
This small cup is made of waxed paper, and is designed to be thrown away after one use.  Looking at it, it's doubtful that it has been.  The paper cup of stewed, cold tea is about three-quarters full with one cup of stewed, cold tea.  It is about three-quarters full.

appraise_text:
The paper cup of stewed, cold tea is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: bottle of Old Seadog's Rum
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large blue glass bottle.  This looks like the sort all those sailors about town are drunk on, it should do the job for you too.  The large blue bottle is about three-quarters full with one pint of rum.  It is about three-quarters full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large blue bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: bottle of anti-vampire goo
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large green glass bottle.  The large green bottle is about half full with two cups of thick green goo.  It is about half full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large green bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: octagonal table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
The creator of this table was not a wizard.  Any wizard creating this table was looking for trouble, of the Soul-Eater variety.  Even looking at the table causes some weaker wizards to experience dizzy spells.  Its surface is an octagon of light-coloured pine.  Into the centre of the table is set a solid octagon of ebony, and surrounding it thin strips of wood outline a series of ever-larger octagrams, the colour of their wood getting lighter and lighter, until the last shape blends perfectly into the table, only the lines around its component strips betraying its presence.  Thin wires of octiron lie through the vertices of the octagrams, the eight wires meeting in the centre of the ebony octagon.  As a final touch, the eight legs each have eight sides.  There is nothing on the octagonal table.

appraise_text:
The octagonal table is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 9 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: pine pediment bed
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
The gracefully curved headboard is adorned with raised panels, single-spike bedposts, and a pediment that looks like an unwinding scroll.  The bed itself is double-size and made of hand-rubbed mountain pine.

appraise_text:
The pine pediment bed is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small red dictionary
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small, compact dictionary designed to aid the Agatean speaking person in their Morporkian studies.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed small red dictionary is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Sweet and Sour Swine
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Sweet and Sour Swine is the rich people's version of sweet and sour pork.  The thing that makes this meal so unique is the parts of the swine that it uses.  In the bowl in front of you, under the sea of green-flecked red sauce, you can make out an ear, an eyebrow, two trotters and, after careful and thorough examination, what can only be a nipple.


item_name: Throne of Bones
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is an immense chair formed of human bones.  Two skulls serve as finials along the back, their eyes set with glowing chunks of amber.  The feet of the chair are made, surprisingly enough, of carefully assembled foot bones.  Polished finger bones curl around the end of each arm, some of them still wearing the rings of their victims.  DEATH himself would be proud to sit in this throne, although perhaps a cushion would make it more comfortable.

appraise_text:
The Throne of Bones is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Grand Wizard clock
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is a massive clock carved of apple wood.  It stands about six feet tall and two feet across.  Both the front and the sides have windows that show the pendulum and gears.  The pendulum is made of thin steel, the blade a sharp crescent as it swings methodically back and forth slicing away the minutes.  The face of the clock is a pale amber colour, almost translucent, and the numerals appear to glow and wriggle along its rim.  In addition to merely telling time, the clock also has a row of small dials indicating the date.  According to the dials it is now twenty-five past one on Friday the 1st of June.  It occasionally pulses with octarine light.

appraise_text:
The Grand Wizard clock is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pair of white sandals
description: A pair of white sandals, that are usually worn by the priests of Djelibeybi.
weight: 6/9 lb
appraise_text:
The pair of white sandals is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is white and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small student piano
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This small, easy-to-play piano is perfect for students, children, and anyone who needs to fit their evening's entertainment into a narrow corridor.  It has a simple rosewood case, two bronze pedals, and an uncomfortable little wooden stool for sitting on.

appraise_text:
The small student piano is about five feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of rosewood and bronze and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: latticed shoji screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This double-sided shoji screen has a latticed wood pattern made of ramin hardwood.  A lovely honey oak colour, the panelling is broken up by rice paper dividers which checker the screen from the top all the way down to the solid kick panel which runs along the bottom.

appraise_text:
The latticed shoji screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: some eyebright
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of eyebright, about one stalk.  Eyebright is a an odd looking herb which has small, opposite toothed leaves and purplish flowers grouped in spikes.  It is often used as a remedy for ailments of the eye, due to its supposed resemblance to the human eye.  Of course, the only people who could possibly see the resemblance between the eye and the herbs must be having severe ocular problems of their own, and as such their testimony is somewhat other than impartial.


item_name: statue of Bast
weight: about six pounds
description:
This cat-headed god fully embraces His feline nature. Hence He is sadistic, lazy, arrogant, narcissistic, and immensely proud of all of it. Following in His lead, Bast's priests worship Him by worshipping themselves, and pursuing whatever self-serving whims might possess them. Some of His fanatics spend a great deal of time tormenting small rodents if they can find them, or anything else if it is more convenient.

appraise_text:
The statue of Bast is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: delicate glass candle holder
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Beautifully wrought from the thinnest glass, this fragile candle holder looks like it would shatter in a strong wind. Thin amber stems twist up from a heavy glass base, wrapping themselves around the candle that would sit in their midst.  On each stem sits a multitude of leaves, fired in soft greens, which would lie against the soft wax of the candle.  There is nothing on the delicate glass candle holder.

appraise_text:
The delicate glass candle holder is about five feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of glass and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or one item.


item_name: small blue flag with bolognas
weight: about a pound
description:
A small, hand-wavable flag, it is stained the official colours of the Bologna and World Peace mission -- which is to say it is a nice shade of blue with red bolognas drawn all over it.

appraise_text:
The small blue flag with bolognas is about two and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton.


item_name: shepherds pie with named meat
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a meal which combines potatoes, onions and meat with a mixture of other ingredients.  The almost overwhelming scent of garlic comes from the dish combining with the other ingredients to create a strong, but not unpleasant smell.  While the meal contains a named meat it doesn't say which.


item_name: porcelain vase
weight: about ten pounds
description:
An exquisite Agatean porcelain vase from the Ptang Dynasty.  The brilliant enamelling depicts spring flowers and butterflies and is overlaid with gold filigree.

appraise_text:
The porcelain vase is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: two-handed scimitar
weight: 6 1/9 lb
description:
This prodigious weapon resembles the smaller scimitars used by many desert nomads, but large enough to require the use of both hands by even the strongest wielder.  Although it only has a single sharp edge, its weight is such that being hit by the back of the blade would be almost as painful as getting hit by its sharp edge.

appraise_text:
The two-handed scimitar is about six feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: frog tail
weight: less than a pound
description:
A tail, from the endangered long-tailed sea frog.  Supposedly, it aids in thaumaturgical transformations.

appraise_text:
The frog tail is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It isn't really made of anything and looks edible.


item_name: [size] leaping dolphins stencil
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny piece of cardboard, cut with a hole in the shape of some leaping dolphins so it can be used as a stencil when painting.

appraise_text:
The tiny leaping dolphins stencil is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of card and paper.


item_name: standard furniture lock
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a clear packaging for a standard furniture lock.  The standard furniture lock package is completely full with a standard furniture lock and a small furniture key.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The standard furniture lock package is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: wooden barrel
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a worn wooden barrel, held together by three steel hoops.  It might no longer be waterproof and the hoops are a little rusty, but other than that it still looks fairly good.  The top has been outfitted with a brass lock, so that anything put inside can be stored safely.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The wooden barrel is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 20 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: some dog chow
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is more pieces than you can estimate at a glance of dog food.  It smells horrible; no sane human would eat a small pile of dried meats of dubious origin like this one.  At least not without mustard and a nice bun.


item_name: short loaf of garlic filled bread
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a short loaf of bread seeping with warm garlic butter and a few small slices of cheese, the smell coming from it is strong enough to notice from a few rooms away, and if you like garlic, it should taste amazing.  If however you don't like garlic you might want to try something else.


item_name: clay plate
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a clay plate.  The edges of the plate are raised to keep the food on it.  It bears the hallmark of the Djelibeybi Potter.  There is nothing on the clay plate.

appraise_text:
The clay plate is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 1 pound.


item_name: medium pipette
weight: less than half a pound
appraise_text:
The medium pipette is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 1 shot.


item_name: small block of beer incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been placed in a puddle of beer overnight and took up the beer's smell, so that when it burns, it will probably have the sweet aroma of stale beer.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of beer incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [colour] fox cat
appraise_text: You appraise the blue-grey fox cat and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about ten pounds
description:
A strange and breathtaking cat with a feral air, who at first glance looks like a small fox.  His large ears, full neck ruff, masked face and large bushy tail, so like a fox's brush, do little to dispel this illusion.  His soft blue-grey coat is warm and glowing, the ground colour a rich warm cream, ticked with many little shades of slate blue and silver, with the darkest line running down the spine and into the bushy tail.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.


item_name: small polished luggage
description: This small chest is shuffling about at the back of the shop, waiting to be bought.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The small polished luggage is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bar stool
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a tall stool, with one single metal leg, that flares in three curved legs fixed in a metal circle, at the bottom.  At the top, it ends in a thick but nevertheless uncomfortable round seat.  Slightly under the middle of the leg there is another wide metal circle, presumably so you can rest your feet on it when sitting.

appraise_text:
The bar stool is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: glossy [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of glossy [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of glossy [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: wooden leg
description:
A wooden leg.  Usually used by people missing one of their own legs, but occasionally used for other purposes.


item_name: pair of pleated red hakama
description:
This is a pair of deep red hakama.  Airy and comfortable through the thighs, they are bound up at the waist by a thick band which encircles the torso.  The legs of the trousers have been pleated with twenty perfectly pressed creases, indicating that these pants should only be worn by someone of high status.


item_name: bag of Klatchian coffee beans
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small rectangular paper bag of a chic and tasteful, deep dark green.  Painted on it in suave gold letters is the word "Hayaryu's".  The spartan green bag contains:  two small handfuls of coffee beans.  It is open.


item_name: hook
appraise_text: The hook is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of some unidentifiable material.
weight: less than a pound
description:
A remarkably sharp and vicious bent bit of the finest Klatchian steel.  It has an eye on one end to attach it to a piece of fishing line and a barb at the other to attach it to a fish's face.


item_name: relaxing fountain
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
A stone structure with water pouring down from a small bowl at the top of the fountain into a larger pool at the base.

appraise_text:
The relaxing fountain is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of stone and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large beaker
description: A large glass beaker perfect for alchemical work.
weight: about a pound and a half
appraise_text:
The large beaker is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: green seashell
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a pretty green seashell.  It is mostly white, but green lines are running diagonally across the ridges on the outer side as well as through the smooth part of the inner surface.

appraise_text:
The green seashell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: webbed baton
weight: about two pounds
special_find_note: Loot from Queen Shelox.
description:
This is a small, solid black baton that is wrapped tightly with an iron-like spiderweb.  Spidery etchings are just visible beneath the web.  The baton seems to radiate an aura of hostility and aggression.  It looks like it could hold three rituals in its shaft, etchings and webbing.

appraise_text:
The webbed baton is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: Hung-hung rainstorm
weight: about a pound
description:
This small glass dome contains an exact replica of the city of Hung-hung carved from a piece of turnip.  The dome is filled with water.  Hung-hung is not famous for its snow, but it is famous for rain.  Lots of rain.  When you shake it the water sloshes about.

appraise_text:
The Hung-hung rainstorm is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bull dance amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed festive red, this amphora carries a depiction of the famous Ephebian bull dances.  A stylized bull, horns extended, dominates the centre of the work.  Hovering above the bull, balanced on a single hand, a dancer is paused mid-flip.  A second dancer prepares to dive beneath the bull while a third holds waving cloths to distract it.  A work of fine art, its handles are high and arch to facilitate stacking.  Its round stopper has been painted to match the red of the background, and attached to the neck by a simple twist of wire.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The bull dance amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: deep fried blowfish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a whole blowfish that has been coated in a batter then deep fried to a golden brown.  Presumably the chef knows what he's doing when he prepares this delicacy.


item_name: stone bench
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
A stone bench made of some odd-looking grey stone, it is hard and cold; however, it withstands the elements impressively.  There is nothing on the stone bench.

appraise_text:
The stone bench is about five feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of stone and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: caramel cream milk chocolate praline
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
Creamy caramel made from the finest cream and honey encased in smooth milk chocolate.  A decorative dark chocolate medallion with an embossed rose completes this flavour sensation.  It looks delicious and is probably quite expensive.


item_name: wearable gargoyle
appraise_text: You appraise the yellow gargoyle and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small yellow creature with a slightly oversized head and small, blinking eyes.  His button nose hooks slightly over a small mouth with hard, thin lips and his little yellow chin has a small dimple in it, completing his innocent, childlike face.  He has short, stubby legs and tiny wings which fold around his rounded shoulders to frame his small, vulnerable looking body.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.


item_name: tomb postcard
appraise_text: The postcard is about six inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
A rather dark chamber is visible on the card,  on its walls some obscure paintings can be seen, and on the floor reside a couple of sarcophagi.  Most of them are closed, and covered with dust, but one has its lid shifted to the side.  This must be in connection with the snow white mummy propped against it.


item_name: console table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
Built of alder, a wood noted for its deep grain, this console table is rustic in style and sturdy.  It has a hand-rubbed honey finish.  There is nothing on the console table.

appraise_text:
The console table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 16 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: kushi umbrella
weight: 5 7/9 lb
description:
This large umbrella has been fortified under its delicate silk covering by curved bone segments.  The black silk pattern is covered in mandarin blossoms and delicate green leaves and is uncompromised in its quality.  This umbrella would serve well to protect oneself until concealed weapons are unleashed.

appraise_text:
The kushi umbrella is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of bone and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: calamari
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Calamari is pretty much a fancy name for squid.  It seems to be almost a staple of the diet around here.  Would you want to eat one?


item_name: Sweet and Sour Squid
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
As the name implies this is one of the tastiest and most popular types of squishi money can buy.  The preparation of this meal is time consuming, but the end result is worth it.  The body of the squid is cooked over an open flame and all the inedible insides removed, then it is placed in a deep bowl with the tentacles arranged in a flower pattern around the head.  The bowl is then filled with red sweet and sour sauce and the meal served hot.


item_name: Ecstasy
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a nicely made cocktail glass, of the sort usually used to serve exotic coloured cocktails in pubs and restaurants.  The cocktail glass of ecstasy is completely full with six ounces of ecstasy.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The cocktail glass of ecstasy is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: porcelain wall fan
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a unique Auriental porcelain display fan which has been enamelled with a navy blue and flower and succulent red berry design.  A wavy pattern in the porcelain emulates the normal ebb and flow of a silk fan.  These types of porcelain fans are normally positioned in the middle of a bare wall for viewing.

appraise_text:
The porcelain wall fan is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: plain chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a plain chair made out of various pieces of wood.  It isn't decorative at all, but it's well-made and sturdy.

appraise_text:
The plain chair is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: colourful Claro Cliff vase
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a well-made vase, glazed in colourful shades.  On it is glazed a depiction of tulips in bright somewhat garish shades, ideal to combine with a fresh bunch of bright flowers.  A small CC monogram has been carefully signed on the reverse.

appraise_text:
The colourful Claro Cliff vase is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: lacquered case
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a beautifully engraved small lacquered case.  It has the picture on it of two fine steel daggers with delicately jewelled handles.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The lacquered case is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: Pishe statue
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a lovely marble statue of the scantily clad goddess Pishe.  Her face and arms are raised toward the sky while droplets of sapphire rain cascade over her body.  The detail of the statue is quite remarkable.  Apparently it was a cold day for an outdoor shower.

appraise_text:
The Pishe statue is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: ebony writing bureau
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This lovely ebony bureau is perfect for any lady or gentleman keen on writing.  Its door, which folds back to reveal a writing surface, is inlaid with a pattern of silver daisies.  A small lock ensures that any secret correspondence can be safely hidden from prying eyes.  It is open.  It has three blue satin lined drawers.

appraise_text:
The ebony writing bureau is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 33 pounds, or about one hundred items.


item_name: silver moon dragon statuette
weight: about four pounds
description:
This small statuette, perfect for any dragon lover's mantelpiece, has been cast entirely in dark silver.  It depicts a perching moon dragon, wings half-raised, looking about as if expecting a rival to pop out of the sky any moment.  It is perched on a branch sticking out from a rock-like foundation upon which has been carved a crude human skull.

appraise_text:
The silver moon dragon statuette is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: enormous bucket
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This bucket is stupidly large, coming up to about your chest.  Why anyone would buy this bucket defies belief.

appraise_text:
The enormous bucket is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 50 pounds, about eighty items, or about 2 gallons.


item_name: dragonfly wind chime
weight: about a pound
description:
A deep green patina finish, a set of delicate sounding floral furin bells sway on a chain below a leaf which a large dragonfly has set upon.  The dragonfly's large wings weigh down the leaf and make it tilt slightly to one side, giving it a slightly off-balance and entirely unique character.

appraise_text:
The dragonfly wind chime is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: black nightstand
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This is a small lacquered bedside cabinet.  By the look of it, it's made of moderately thin oak planks, dyed graphite black and lacquered.  It looks nice, albeit a bit sombre by many people's taste.  It is open.  It has one top drawer.

appraise_text:
The black nightstand is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: rectangular gift box
weight: about a pound
description:
This pine box is long and narrow with a hinged lid.  It would be perfect for holding a small gift.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The gift box is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: McSweeney silver spoon
special_find_note: 88a1c3a29b068292cb525f181c32142b96b2ad8d
description:
Everyone knows that the highest members of society were born with a silver spoon in their mouths, well here it is.  It's just a standard silver spoon apart from the top of the handle which has the crest of the McSweeney family on it.  The crest has been placed on top of a nice square of tartan made from rubies and onyx.


item_name: scythe
weight: 5 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Quest reward item.
description:
The scythe can not possibly be sharpened any more, as it is beyond the human capacity to believe that it is this sharp in the first place.  Maybe a hand of one of the many Gods about the place could get it sharper, but then such a deity would have a problem.

appraise_text:
The scythe is about five feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: apple-wood bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
Carved from soft, untreated apple wood, this small double bed still gives off the faint sweet scent of its fruit.  It is carved along simple, uncomplicated lines, nothing fancy, but very home-like and peaceful.  It has been laid with crisp white sheets and a comfortable creamy woollen blanket, with deep green pillows and a loosely woven throw rug in a lighter shade of the same green.

appraise_text:
The apple-wood bed is about sixteen and a half feet long and about sixteen and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: box of W&B's Silver Selection
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a silver-coloured box from W&B.  It is decorated with a relief of roses, delicately painted in red and greens.  A smell of chocolate seems to linger around it.  The golden logo of W&B is discreetly drawn on the back.  The silver chocolate box is completely full with three dark chocolate liqueur milk chocolate pralines and three coffee cream milk chocolate pralines.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The silver chocolate box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: plain wooden desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a plain desk made from non-descript pale wood.  There is nothing particulary extravagant about it; it is the sort of desk that either a company buys in bulk to seat all their pencil-pushers, or that the work-conscious employee buys to finish his or her work at home.  There is nothing on the plain wooden desk.

appraise_text:
The plain wooden desk is about five feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: rich brown amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed in a subtle rich brown, this amphora carries a matte-black painting of two men, wrestling, straining and tossing manes of hair delineated in tasteful lines.  A work of fine art, its ears are tall and arched to allow easy stacking, and its round stopper is plain and practical. The stopper is attached to the neck by a short piece of plaited twine.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The rich brown amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: some cereus
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of cereus, about one sprig.  Pale, silvery white flowers on a short stem adorned with bunches of small leaves.


item_name: braided [colour] wicker sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This wicker sofa with black upholstery gives the impression of being halfway through a dance move, with its rear legs extended elegantly behind it, braided arms sliding forward and the ornamental back sweeping back and out like a lady's ball gown, only upside-down of course.  And most ladies wouldn't wear a ballgown made of wicker-work, even such detailed and elaborate work as this.  Still, it's a metaphor.

appraise_text:
The braided black wicker sofa is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: glittery [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of glittery [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of glittery [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: walnut crone chest
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This dark walnut chest is indeed quite an exceptional creation.  Three old crones have been carved into it, every wart and wrinkle picked in extreme detail.  The flanking sisters' empty eye sockets are turned towards the eyeball held in the outstreched hand of the one in the middle.  Faces twisted with grimaces of pure envy, the crones look as though they are just itching to dart forward and snatch the eyeball for themselves.  The carving of the hand, along with the eyeball, sticks out of the chest slightly.  A small brass lock has been inserted into the pupil of the eye.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The walnut crone chest is about four and a half feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of walnut and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: beautiful bouquet of flowers stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A beautiful bouquet of flowers.

appraise_text:
The beautiful bouquet of flowers stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: battered nodachi
weight: 4 6/9 lb
description:
This is a huge Auriental sword, over six feet in length.  It is slightly curved and well balanced with a blade which looks like it used to be of the finest quality.  At the moment, however, it is battered and even dares to be slightly bent in places.  There is also a huge notch that has been knocked out of the blade toward its tip.

appraise_text:
The battered nodachi is about six and a half feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of steel and wood and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: The sweet scent of crushed mint leaves
appraise_text: The small myrtle green amphora is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: less than a pound
description:
Fashioned from quality clay and glazed a delicate shade of myrtle green, this small amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in white.  A classical Ephebian design, it is quite charming in a certain epicene way.  Its ears are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is decorated with a simple, wavy black line and fastened to the amphora with a braided silk bond in pearly white.  It is almost full of mint leaf perfume, which could be applied to someone.


item_name: smoky grey amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed a dark smoky grey with sullen red swirls, this amphora carries an onyx-black silhouette of a great squid, the most feared sinker of Ephebian vessels.  A work of fine art, its handles are tall and arched to allow easy stacking, and its triangular stopper has been decorated with a picture of a half-ship disappearing into the wave, and attached to the neck by a black ribbon of mourning.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The smoky grey amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Housewarming banner
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small bright red banner decorated with something resembling a brick work pattern, decorated with various cracks and the occasional uninvited guest.

appraise_text:
The Housewarming banner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: braided wicker sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This wicker sofa gives the impression of being halfway through a dance move, with its rear legs extended elegantly behind it, braided arms sliding forward and the ornamental back sweeping back and out like a lady's ball gown, only upside-down of course.  And most ladies wouldn't wear a ballgown made of wicker-work, even such detailed and elaborate work as this.  Still, it's a metaphor.

appraise_text:
The braided wicker sofa is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: waxy [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of waxy [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of waxy [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: green wizard's pointy hat
description:
A proper green velvet wizard's pointy hat.  Made of the finest velvet, it was made to fit its owner's head flawlessly.  This hat was obviously made to impress all other wizards.


item_name: sausage shaped sofa
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
Shaped roughly like a sausage that has cooked on Mr. Dibbler's grill a bit too long, this is a very odd piece of furniture.  It is covered in dark brown cloth and sits very low to the ground.

appraise_text:
The sausage shaped sofa is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bag of chocolate liqueurs
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small rectangular paper bag of a chic and tasteful, deep dark green.  Painted on it in suave gold letters is the word "Hayaryu's".  The spartan green bag contains:  three cherry liqueur chocolates, two coffee liqueur chocolates, a brandy chocolate, a banana liqueur chocolate, an orange liqueur chocolate and two whisky chocolates.  It is open.


item_name: portrait of a young woman with a fan
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a traditional Auriental painting a young woman sitting on a whitewashed background, fanning herself next to a bonsai tree.  Two monarch butterflies flit around the tree, causing the woman's mouth to curl up at the corners slightly in poetic approval.

appraise_text:
The portrait of a young woman with a fan is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: painting of the fairy-tale Genua
weight: about five pounds
description:
This painting harkens back to the Genua of Lady Lilith's rule.  It is a painting of the main gate of the city.  City Guards in uniforms of red and blue stand to each side of the entrance.  Everyone is smiling, happy and cheerful to live in such a happy city.  In the background of the painting can be seen the palace, glowing white in the distance, an almost eerie blue aura seeming to surround it.

appraise_text:
The painting of the fairy-tale Genua is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: tall black bookshelf
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a tall bookshelf, with four equally spaced shelves on which to place books, a vase of flowers, or whatever else.  It is made of solid oak board, with the exception of the back which is still oak, but a lot thinner.  It is dyed graphite black and lacquered, giving it a rather sombre look by most people's standards.  There is nothing on the tall black bookshelf.

appraise_text:
The tall black bookshelf is about four feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of oak board and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 61 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: black cuckoo clock
weight: about seven pounds
description:
A wooden clock modelled on the nest of the Clock Building Cuckoo - but with considerably more style.  It has been painted a shiny black and its door is decorated with silver filigree.  The clock face shows that it is ten past nine.

appraise_text:
The black cuckoo clock is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: worn [colour] brocade sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This worn old sofa looks like it belongs to one of those very old stately homes in which the owner is a guest and the housekeeper rules all.  It is carved ornately from rather worn oak, stained dark with time, and upholstered with faded [colour] brocade in a vaguely floral pattern.

appraise_text:
The worn [colour] brocade sofa is about ten feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pinwheel firework
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The pinwheel firework is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: antique elmwood framed mirror
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This antique wood-framed mirror was part of a woman's dowry more than eighty years ago.  Cinnabar red and gilt accents add understated opulence.  Its unique design is hard to find in present day.  Retrieved from Bes Pelargic's countryside, it is a one of a kind treasure.  Ideal for an entryway or hallway, it can be hung from a wall with its well-preserved antique brass hanger.  It is too dark to see much in the room.

appraise_text:
The antique elmwood framed mirror is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bottle of Morporkian Red
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large red glass bottle.  The label claims it contains "Fine Morporkian Wine", which is about as close to a health warning as you'll get in Ankh-Morpork.  The large red bottle is about three-quarters full with one pint of red wine.  It is about three-quarters full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large red bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: hot-n-spicy sensation
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
A small bowl of hot and spicy broth.  This soup is made from chillies and garlic, and smells delicious.


item_name: okra candlestick
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This tall candlestick rests on a black iron disc, which acts as a sturdy base.  From the base rises a pale wooden stem, polished to a gleaming finish and inset with a fine network of silver wires.  Crowning the whole assembly is a stunning piece of metalwork, brass wrought into the shape of an upright okra flower.  There is nothing on the okra candlestick.

appraise_text:
The okra candlestick is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or one item.


item_name: round bed
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a rather odd bed, shaped like a large disc, with a roughly seven foot diameter.  It does offer the debatable advantage of being able to lie in any direction on the soft thick mattress.  On the other hand, it takes a lot more space in a room than a normal bed.

appraise_text:
The round bed is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: white chocolate cream dark chocolate praline
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a white chocolate cream praline.  It is filled with exquisite white chocolate cream.  A covering of dark chocolate, which is decorated with a tiny swirl of white chocolate, completes the creation.  It looks delicious and is probably quite expensive.


item_name: pair of sheep shears
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a pair of finest Slippery Hollow sheep shears.  They are made from the finest iron and sharpened to perfection.

appraise_text:
The pair of sheep shears is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of iron and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: bottle of embalming fluid
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large clear glass bottle.  The large clear bottle is almost full with one pint of embalming fluid.  It is almost full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large clear bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Jolly Sailor tobacco
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown paper pouch designed to hold Jolly Sailor brand tobacco.  The waxy brown paper features a blue label, on which is a picture of a life ring.  Inside this is an image of a happy looking sailor smoking a pipe.  The paper pouch is about one-quarter full with one handful of Jolly Sailor tobacco.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The paper pouch is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or four items.


item_name: colourful Claro Cliff sugar basin
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a well-made square sugar basin, decorated in a colourful manner.  The sides are decorated with stylised images of pansies, each side having a different, unique image.  A small CC monogram has been carefully signed on the bottom.

appraise_text:
The colourful Claro Cliff sugar basin is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: black rose [knockout rose]
appraise_text: The black rose is about six inches long and about an inch wide. It is black and is made of rose.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a stunning black rose, whose petals spread out as if reaching towards the sky.  It shimmers slightly and drops of dew roll down each petal.  It looks like it smells heavenly, and maybe you could try to smell it too.


item_name: alligator skin belt [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a very small belt made of the finest alligator skin.  It looks like its probably for a toy of some sort.

appraise_text:
The alligator skin belt is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is green and black and is made of alligator skin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: set of white pine kitchen cupboards
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a set of kitchen cupboards made from white pine.  Four sets of doors hide the shelves within, and fluted columns with triple crowned tops make the structure a little less plain.  A simple design which still manages to radiate elegance, this set of cupboards is practical and functional, but still manages to be pleasing to the senses.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The set of white pine kitchen cupboards is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: carton of papers
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a cylindrical carton of paper frames rolled up.  The carton is completely sealed with grooves down the side, as if it should be be inserted into something.

appraise_text:
The carton of papers is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: muslin screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a simple and traditional double-hinged screen, its panels filled in with a long sheet of roughly textured cream-coloured muslin fabric.  A lightly coloured construction, the material has been gathered at the top and bottom ends to produce a eye-pleasing loosely pleated effect which continues down its length.

appraise_text:
The muslin screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: mastermind board
weight: less than a pound
description:
A long thin board with lots of little pegs of various colours placed in two little dishes.  There is a little covered section and a long line of holes for the pegs to go in.

appraise_text:
The mastermind board is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Auriental painting of a mountain
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a painting of the sun rising behind a tall mountain, done in the unmistakable Auriental style, on rice paper.  It would nicely fit in a house decorated in an Auriental theme, or just as well in an art collector's home.

appraise_text:
The Auriental painting of a mountain is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: 50mm lens
appraise_text: The 50mm lens is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of steel.
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a tube with glass on both ends and seems to magnify things, but only slightly.  It has the numbers 3, 4, 6 and 8 inscribed on it.


item_name: Auriental scrollwork canopy bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a charming Auriental canopy bed, surrounded completely on three sides by tall supports made of red oak that encase the mattress.  The bed's front face had been scrolled with scores Auriental symbols and thatched geometric vinework that rises up to stretch over the wide canopy.  The bed itself looks quite comfortable, its black blanket and pillows crisp and fresh and looking quite ready to contribute to a good night's sleep.

appraise_text:
The Auriental scrollwork canopy bed is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large tasselled luggage
description: This large chest is shuffling about at the back of the shop, waiting to be bought.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The large tasselled luggage is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: ruffled gift bow
weight: about a pound
description:
This is the sort of big ruffled bow that you stick onto presents before they are given to their intended recipient.

appraise_text:
The ruffled gift bow is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: rich old sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This dignified old piece is designed in an elaborate antique style, though not overly ornate.  It has a frame of carved mahogany and is upholstered with deep, soft cushions of faded vermillion, rubbed bare in places of its rich gold embroidery.

appraise_text:
The rich old sofa is about seventeen and a half feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: scrabble board
weight: less than a pound
description:
A nice soft coloured board with pastel coloured squares on it.  It looks like a game you could play with words on.

appraise_text:
The scrabble board is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bamboo plant stand
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a square stand made from short lengths of bamboo that have been lashed together with twine.  It has two shelves that are stacked on top of each other, each wide enough to hold a large pot or a fair few magazines.  It looks as though it would be right at home sitting next to a futon.  There is nothing on the bamboo plant stand.

appraise_text:
The bamboo plant stand is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 16 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: stately mahogany desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This dark, stately desk looks as if it should have several large, floppy hounds draped out on a rug at its foot.  It carries the weight of years, and many pounds of solid mahogany.  Two brass-gilded drawers are set into the front.  There is nothing on the stately mahogany desk.

appraise_text:
The stately mahogany desk is about five feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: rain coat [build-a-bear]
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a tiny raincoat made from some sort of pliable, leathery material and then either dyed or painted a bright red colour.

appraise_text:
The red raincoat is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is red and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: bottled scent of desert breezes
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of blue crystal.  It is almost full of desert breeze perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
The blue perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: chubby ultra door lock package
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small, brown paper bag, just the type to hold sweets, peanuts, or any other similar object.  The paper bag is completely full with a chubby ultra door lock and a small brass key.  It is open.


item_name: white leek
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
Long, green and white, and absolutely lovely, this is the perfect leek to go into any pudding or soup of your making.


item_name: thud board
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a diamond shaped board depicting the Koom valley, scene of many famous battles between dwarfs and trolls.

appraise_text:
The thud board is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: gingerbread witch
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This gingerbread witch is shaped as if riding a broom.  She seems to have a cruel expression and her eyes are made of little red jelly sweets.  She looks very sinister for a gingerbread figure.


item_name: get well soon card (closed)
appraise_text: The get well soon card (closed) is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This card is ivory coloured and depicts a fluffy bunny rabbit holding a bunch of balloons.  The words "Get Well Soon" are printed on the front in rounded bubble writing.  The card would probably make you feel better just so you could get away from it.    It is closed.


item_name: occult bronze ring
appraise_text: It is made of bronze and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This bronze ring has been engraved with occult designs, such as mystic runes, stick-men wielding sticks and ferocious stick-bats, flying through the air propelled by the flapping of their stick-wings.


item_name: blueberry meringue
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a large cake with a sponge base, and a thick layer of meringue on the top.  A ring of cream lines the edge of the meringue, and the whole top is covered in a layer of fresh berries.  It looks absolutely heavenly.


item_name: Enduring Peasant Sake Set
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a cheap sake storage box which has been made from lightweight balsa wood.  It has been stamped with a round black logo of a laughing panda.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The cheap sake box is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: large varnished luggage
description: This large chest is shuffling about at the back of the shop, waiting to be bought.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The large varnished luggage is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: barrel of Laotan red wine
weight: about six hundred pounds
description:
This is a large, sturdy oak barrel, the sort used for storing wine since wine-making began.  The oak barrel is completely full with many gallons of Laotan Red.  It is completely full.  It is open.


item_name: metal pole
appraise_text: The metal pole is about two and a half feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of steel.
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a metal pole, primarily used as a fireplace poker.  It has a hole right through it so that it can hang on a hook.


item_name: dragon egg ink well
weight: less than a pound
description:
A cracked-open dragon egg, painted in swirling shades of pink and gold, rises up from a cleverly modelled rocky base.  Out of the open top, an incredibly cute-looking dragon hatchling with floppy ears and little white fangs gazes out on the wide new world, a look of childlike wonder in his bright blue eyes.  The eggshell around him has been hollowed out, providing the perfect place for ink.  The dragon egg ink well is completely full with two ounces of black ink.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The dragon egg ink well is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: granite mantelpiece
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This granite mantelpiece is simple, with no carving or adornment.  It is of a style favoured in Llamedos, where the only raw materials freely available are granite, mud and rain.  Despite its simplicity, it is pleasantly rustic.  There is nothing on the granite mantelpiece.

appraise_text:
The granite mantelpiece is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of granite and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 8 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: decorative harpsichord
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
Made with a light wooden frame and painted with a beautiful pastoral scene, this triangular harpsichord would make a decorative addition to any home.  A series of strings stretch horizontally in the frame and are plucked, when the black and white keys are hit, by a special coupler and jack mechanism.

appraise_text:
The decorative harpsichord is about seven and a half feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: black single bed
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a pretty large bed, in as much as a single bed can be called large.  It is a full seven foot long, by three foot wide.  Every single piece of wood is graphite black and lacquered, but you can tell it's dyed oak, not ebony.  Many people would describe it as sombre, but then again others like it that way.

appraise_text:
The black single bed is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large black table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a large and sturdy wooden table, dyed graphite black and lacquered.  The edges and legs are sculptured in a spiral pattern, somewhat similar to what you'd get if you wrapped a garden hose around a thin pole.  It's not the most elaborate pattern imaginable, but it actually looks nice, and you can tell that a lot of work went into making it.  There is nothing on the large black table.

appraise_text:
The large black table is about six feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: ornate bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
Slung low to the ground, the functionality of this bed seems secondary to its ornate canopy.  From each corner, a slender pine rod rises towards the centre of the bed, bowed slightly inward.  The rods are set with alternating strips of ebony and ivory which form interlocking spirals rising up the length of the rod.  At the meeting point, the poles are tied together with a strip of deep green fabric embroidered with gold and silver thread.  Stitched to the tie, sheets of lace cascade halfway down the poles to which have been secured the rippling scarlet folds that would cover the lower half.  The folds are fastened with navy-blue ties on which white stitching has been used to pick out miniature cherubs.

appraise_text:
The ornate bed is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large brass gong
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a large brass gong, which hangs from an equally large frame.  Tiny dragons writhe around each other on the surface of the disc, nipping each others' tails as they stretch.  The gong can be hit to make a loud ringing sound and annoy everyone in the room.

appraise_text:
The large brass gong is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of brass and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: silver seahorse ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This ring is a narrow silver band with three silver seahorses head to tail, inlaid with bright polished turquoise.


item_name: pink elephant stone fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
The mantelpiece, surround and hearth of this gloriously gaudy fireplace are all constructed from pink elephant stone, a durable grey basalt containing large pink crystals.  Polished to a high lustre by what was clearly a skilled craftsperson, it assaults the eye when you look at it.  It would look simply marvellous as the focal point of any room.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the pink elephant stone fireplace.

appraise_text:
The pink elephant stone fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: elegant walnut music stand
weight: about three pounds
description:
Made from honey-coloured walnut polished to a bright shine, this music stand features elegant scroll-work on its three legs.  The head of the stand features a square frame, in the middle of which is a harp motif.  There is nothing on the elegant walnut music stand.

appraise_text:
The elegant walnut music stand is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or one item.


item_name: small block of orange-scented incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of oranges.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of orange-scented incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: noble dragon wall mirror
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a rather large, circular mirror encircled by stylised rocks and mountains with the occasional drift of mist painted on.  The very detailed frame is carved from a light wood that shines through the paint in places, adding texture to the mountainous landscape.  There is even a small fairytale like castle on the right side.  A very large golden noble dragon in flight, eyeing the castle hungrily, dominates the top and left sides of the frame.  The bottom frame has a number of bright pink flowers with yellow stems scattered across the rocky landscape to add a sense of up and down.  It is too dark to see much in the room.

appraise_text:
The noble dragon wall mirror is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small yellow dictionary
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small, compact dictionary designed to aid the Morporkian speaking person in their Agatean studies.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed small yellow dictionary is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: measure of scumble
weight: less than a pound
description:
A shot glass for those few drinks that Brass Neck locals won't drink in a pint glass.  The measure glass of scumble is completely full with two tablespoons of scumble.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The measure glass of scumble is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, four items, or about 1 shot.


item_name: white marble fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This fireplace consists of a marble mantlepiece, surround and hearth constructed around a heatproof brick fire pit.  Clearly made by a skilled craftsperson, the white marble has been polished to almost a mirror shine that is set off nicely by its black veins.  It would add a touch of opulent grandeur to any home.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the white marble fireplace.

appraise_text:
The white marble fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: fluffy cloak
weight: 5lb
description:
This is a nice, thick Hublandish fluffy cloak that can be wrapped around the body like a robe.  "Fluffy" isn't entirely accurate since it's made from the wool of the sturdy Hubland sheep, but at least it looks fluffy.

appraise_text:
The fluffy cloak is about four and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wool and could be worn as armour.


item_name: fluffy sofa
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is an enormous sofa covered in a shaggy, orange material.  It has a big purple tongue that unrolls from the back of the sofa, down the middle, until it reaches the floor.  Despite its odd appearance, this sofa is extremely comfortable.

appraise_text:
The fluffy sofa is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: glassy [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of glassy [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of glassy [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: decorative map of Uberwald
weight: less than half a pound
description:
Uberwald.  Deep, dark forests, steep mountains and treacherous ravines.  Roaring rivers, crashing waterfalls, underground dwarfish kingdoms and mysterious castles.  Wolves with flickering teeth, gigantic bears, looming trolls and mountain goats.  This painting almost makes you feel as if you're there.

appraise_text:
The decorative map of Uberwald is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Ironhard Tacky
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of Ironhard Tacky, about one stalk.  It's a plant with long and hard green-blue stems, which sprout incongruously violet and orange flowers in late summer.  Some people believe the plant could be used as an aphrodisiac, but nobody has ever found a way to make it digestible.


item_name: light blue silk backpack
weight: 4 2/9 lb
description:
The light blue backpack is made of durable silk for your convenience.  It is rather round in shape and looks like a turtle without legs (and a head for that matter).  The light blue silk backpack has one main pocket and two side pockets.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The light blue silk backpack is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is light blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: panelled oak blanket box
weight: about forty pounds
description:
A large box normally used for storing blankets at the end of a bed.  It is skilfully crafted from oak and features an upholstered lid that could also double as a seat.  It has three recessed panels, each of which has detailed oak leaves, the mark of the craftsman, carved into the corners.  The panels and frame of the blanket box could be painted or otherwise decorated.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The panelled oak blanket box is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 27 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: fluffy blue sofa
weight: about fifty pounds
description:
This sofa has been constructed from some sort of fluffy material.  It seems to have the exact colour and texture of navel lint.  There must be some sort of structure underneath to support the weight of any sitters, but it is impossible to see with the vast quantities of fluff atop it.

appraise_text:
The fluffy blue sofa is about four feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of fluff and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: medium pine shelf
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a medium, plain pine shelf.  It would be ideal to display some prized pottery, or perhaps some family heirlooms.  There is nothing on the medium pine shelf.

appraise_text:
The medium pine shelf is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of pine and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: small block of myrrh
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a dried block of resin.  While untreated, it is meant to be burned for its aroma.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of myrrh is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: golden Satsuma jar
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This beautiful jar is made in Satsuma style, which elaborately employs the use of gold.  Besides the fully gold-covered handles and gold edges, countless gold threads and gold dots are woven throughout the entire jar.  An autumn scene is depicted in the centre of the jar, while the lid and base are covered in a pattern of soft black and warm gold dusted with pale green and rose-coloured flowers.  Its warm tones surrounded by the gold makes this jar shines in opulence  It is open.

appraise_text:
The golden Satsuma jar is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: comedy peasant hat
weight: about a pound
description:
In common with all forn parts the local shops think it would be a good idea to sell poor quality copies of the poor quality local hats.  Examples of this from around the Multiverse are rife but centre on the sombrero, police man's helmet and the fez.  This is a very poor copy of the ragged peasant coolie hats worn in the Agatean Empire.  It is essentially a shallow cone woven from straw.  Sadly, due to quality restraints it is far too small to wear.

appraise_text:
The comedy peasant hat is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Bittersweet green apples in an amphora
appraise_text: The small pale green amphora is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: less than a pound
description:
Fashioned from quality clay and glazed a delicate shade of pale green, this small amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in white.  A classical Ephebian design, it is quite charming in a certain epicene way.  Its ears are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is decorated with a simple, wavy black line and fastened to the amphora with a braided silk bond in pearly white.  It is almost full of green apples perfume, which could be applied to someone.


item_name: beautiful flower pin
description:
This beautiful flower glitters in the sunlight, and seems to brighten up the whole day.  The detail on it is incredible, right down to the tiny stem and leaves.  Shockingly, it is made out of real, good quality gold.  The edges are laced with shiny silver, and in the centre of the flower is a tiny red ruby which shines wonderfully.  This would be a gift that says "I care".


item_name: Queen Ptraci bookcase
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is a dainty bookcase in the Klatchian style known as Queen Ptraci, since the style became popular during her reign.  It is made of golden stained white oak and is covered with intricate carving that gives the the structure the appearance of something stolen from the Fairy realms.  Along the sides of the case are scattered flecks of diamond, ruby, sapphire, lapis lazuli, silver and gold.  It would be a perfect place to keep all those knicknacks that one collects during holidays in foreign parts.  There is nothing on the Queen Ptraci bookcase.

appraise_text:
The Queen Ptraci bookcase is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 68 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: bolt
appraise_text: The bolt is not very long and not very wide. It is made of some unidentifiable material.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This bolt could be used with a nut to bolt something together.  Except for excessively creative people, bolting is the only use for a bolt.


item_name: glass of bloody mary
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a fairly small glass with a few chips in it from use, other than that it holds liquids not much more can be said about it.  The glass of bloody mary is completely full with six ounces of bloody mary.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The glass of bloody mary is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: huge brass gong
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a huge brass gong, which hangs from an equally huge frame.  Prancing peacocks strut around each other on the surface of the disc, ruffling their tails as they stretch.  The gong can be hit to make a loud ringing sound and annoy everyone in the room.

appraise_text:
The huge brass gong is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of brass and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: steel ono
weight: 7 2/9 lb
description:
A massive battle-axe, the ono were traditionally used for battering down palace gates, knocking rivals off their horses or destroying opponents who deigned to enter combat with a lesser weapon.  It's nice to know that times haven't changed.  The handle of this ono is about five feet long, and a massive axe head has been attached to one end.

appraise_text:
The steel ono is about five feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: white wrought iron table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a small, round table made of wrought iron that has been painted white.  The iron has been fashioned to look like sticks of bamboo.  There is nothing on the white wrought iron table.

appraise_text:
The white wrought iron table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of iron and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 30 pounds, or fifteen items.


item_name: box of W&B's Platinum Selection
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a platinum-coloured box from W&B.  It is decorated with a relief of roses, delicately painted in red and greens.  A smell of chocolate seems to linger around it.  The golden logo of W&B is discreetly drawn on the back.  The platinum chocolate box is completely full with three chili and saffron cream white chocolate pralines and three marzipan and cherry dark chocolate pralines.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The platinum chocolate box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: porraceous sprouter cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This cabbage is a good winter grower, which must be picked before the first full moon of March, or it will grow huge inedible leaves within seconds.


item_name: black anaconda
appraise_text: You appraise the black anaconda and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a nice large black anaconda.  It looks like it would look really good draped around your neck.  It is in good shape.  It is lying.  It looks perfectly happy.


item_name: C.T.F. banner
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a very extravagant banner made of deep red fabric.  The letters "C. T. F." sewed on in black and lined with gold stand out in the middle, while the edges are decorated with various drawings of little weapons.

appraise_text:
The C.T.F. banner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rose quartz Pishe figurine
weight: about four pounds
description:
The rose quartz figurine of Pishe stands about half a foot in height, its jagged edges glittering impressively with whatever bits of light they can catch.  The milky rose colour thickens in some places, contrasting with the relative transparency of the rest of the quartz.

appraise_text:
The rose quartz Pishe figurine is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: wine red mosaic table
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large circular sofa table which squats low on its voluptuous outward-curving legs.  Lacquered deeply with shiny red wine coloured enamel, the surface has been inlaid with a large stone mosaic which depicts six men standing around the border of the circle, heads pointing inward, all facing away from each other.  Surrounding the inlay is an ornamental gold border which extends down the table legs.  There is nothing on the wine red mosaic table.

appraise_text:
The wine red mosaic table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 33 pounds, or about seventy items.


item_name: black wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Someone with a true fondness for wood has fashioned this small chair.  Its sturdy frame supports a seat and back of strongly woven black wicker-work, and legs and struts are wound about with fine strips of the same.  A few abstract patterns have been worked into the material, making for an attractive and functional seat.

appraise_text:
The black wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: some aniseed
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of green aniseeds, about one seed.  A long-stemmed plant with white flowers.  Its seeds have a distinctively liquorice-like scent.


item_name: four poster scarab bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a king-sized four poster bed.  It is decorated with continuous intricate Djelian design.  Every part of the bed is strong and sturdy and it would easily make a stunning feature in any bedroom.  It is made from sandalwood.

appraise_text:
The four poster scarab bed is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Auriental coffee table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This coffee table is obviously from the Agatean Empire, as it has traditional Auriental symbols etched into its surface.  It has been polished so many times, it seems, that glue itself would probably slide off.  Several pairs of handcuffs hang jauntily from the legs, along with a small key dangling on a delicate chain.  There is nothing on the Auriental coffee table.

appraise_text:
The Auriental coffee table is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 8 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: souvenir bottle of Ankh water
weight: about a pound
description:
This is the kind of bottle which, due to its tiny size, isn't too useful for holding drinks, but works well for storing liquid souvenirs - things like water from the Bay of Ephebe, a lover's breath, or tears of your enemies.  Whatever was put in this one, though, has corroded the cork and fused it closed.  Perhaps that is for the best.

appraise_text:
The souvenir bottle of Ankh water is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: [adjective] foxhound
appraise_text: You appraise the happy foxhound and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
An elegant, clean-cut dog with an athletic build, this foxhound is full of energy and bouncy enthusiasm.  His tail waves like a banner over his back, and his short, hard coat is white with a blanket of black and tan.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.  His fur is silky and smooth.


item_name: lacquered [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of lacquered [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of lacquered [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: turtle cone
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a delicate combination of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup swirled throughout and pecans in a sugared cone.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: small shiny luggage
description: This small chest is shuffling about at the back of the shop, waiting to be bought.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The small shiny luggage is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: honey wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
The back of this honey wicker-work rocking chair curves around in a comfortable semi-circle, something like half a basket.  The sturdy wooden legs run down to a pair of curved wooden rockers, allowing you to sit in it and contemplate life while rocking back and forth, possibly while holding a baby.

appraise_text:
The honey wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: white marble mantelpiece
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a white marble mantelpiece, a flat piece of stone designed to be placed above a fireplace to form a decorative shelf.  The white marble is struck through by darker veins in pink, orange and red.  There is nothing on the white marble mantelpiece.

appraise_text:
The white marble mantelpiece is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 8 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: large bunch of flowers
description:
This is a beautifully colourful bunch of flowers.  The fragrant blooms are interspersed with dark-green sprays of fern and white-berried sprigs of mistletoe.

appraise_text:
The large bunch of flowers is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Dish of Soft White Lumps
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
You have no clue as to what this is.  It's soft, white, and lumpy.  Actually, now that you think about it, you really don't want to know what this is.


item_name: thick cardboard shelf
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a thick cardboard shelf.  Although such things might be thought of as cheap, this one looks fairly sturdy - ideal for anyone on a budget.  There is nothing on the thick cardboard shelf.

appraise_text:
The thick cardboard shelf is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cardboard and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: red and green patterned McSweeney bowl
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This is a large ovular bowl made popular by McSweeney Lords who often used them to store unimportant bits of their prisoners' anatomy before their executions.  Rumour has it that the red in the red and green herringbone pattern is not an enamel, but a stain.

appraise_text:
The red and green patterned McSweeney bowl is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: creamy rose cascade bouquet
weight: about a pound
description:
This beautiful bouquet has rich creamy roses, stephanotis and wispy greens cascading down from the bride's hands like a waterfall.

appraise_text:
The creamy rose cascade bouquet is about nine inches long and about a foot wide.  It is made of flowers and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: unfinished womble [build-a-bear]
description: This is a toy womble, or at least it will be when it's completed.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The unfinished toy womble is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of fur and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wizard staff [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a miniature wizard's staff carved from yew.  It has a brass knob on the end of it and is etched with many mystical runes and sigils.

appraise_text:
The wizard's staff is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: marble statue of a young man lying down
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Cut from pure white marble, this is a life-size effigy of a young, beautiful, and entirely naked man half lying, half sitting, as if looking at something in the grass before him.  A lyre lies at his feet, discarded for a moment of quiet contemplation, but no doubt soon to be picked up to produce beautiful music.

appraise_text:
The marble statue of a young man lying down is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large metal shield
weight: 11 4/9 lb
description:
This is an impressive shield.  It is really really big, and it weighs quite a bit.  It is also quite difficult to throw around.  But it looks really good!

appraise_text:
The large metal shield is about three and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of iron and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: small black chest
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This chest is the very epitome of style.  It is finished in black matte and is extremely minimalistic.  The only decoration being the lock, which is in the shape of a small dagger.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small black chest is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 26 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: mancala board
weight: less than a pound
description:
A small rectangular board with 6 dips on each side and two bigger dips at each end.  There are a bunch of small multi-coloured stones in the dips.

appraise_text:
The mancala board is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: green slab [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a miniature version of the Green Slab, full of slander, opinions and other creative things.  There is an edition number on it but that could be made up.

appraise_text:
The Green Slab is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: griffin ring
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 7 g
description:
This ring is a simple brass ring with a tiny figure of a griffin on its topside.  The griffin is probably supposed to look menacing, with its wings spread and roaring, but somehow the artist managed to spoil the effect, so that it looks like it was sneezing.


item_name: black wide-brimmed hat [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny hat with a wide, floppy brim made from black velvet.  If you look at it sideways, the black has what can only be described as a very dark green tint to it.

appraise_text:
The black wide-brimmed hat is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: bottle of vodka
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a large clear glass bottle.  The large clear bottle is completely full with one pint of vodka.  It is completely full.  It is open.


item_name: Fishite rod [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
The length of this miniature staff has been finished with a rich blue lacquer, whose tones vary from a glimmering turquoise down to a rich, deep azure.  At the top of the staff, a tiny copper fishing hook has been fixed.

appraise_text:
The blue lacquered staff is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wind-up water buffalo
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a tiny working model of a water buffalo.  It is so accurate it even has a piece of string around its neck.  There is a small key in its back.  When you turn it the water buffalo remains perfectly still for several days.  How realistic.

appraise_text:
The wind-up water buffalo is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: sandalwood wall fan
weight: about four pounds
description:
This beautiful sandalwood folding fans feature intricate assorted paisley designs and releases a light sandalwood scent into the air.  A gold-coloured tassel hangs from a small ring from the bottom of the fan's handle, and there is a small wall mount on the back of its ribs so it can be mounted on a wall as a central decoration piece for a room.

appraise_text:
The sandalwood wall fan is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: [adjective] curly-coated retriever
appraise_text: You appraise the chestnut curly-coated retriever and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This large chestnut dog stands alert and erect with pricked ears and intelligent eyes.  She has the build of a slim retriever, with hundreds of little curls all over her close, thick coat, even on the backs of her ears.  It gives the fur something of the appearance of crushed velvet.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her glossy curls are neat and tidy.


item_name: Long, Slow Fish Against A Wall
weight: about a pound
description:
A skinny cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of pale orange cocktail.  It is almost completely full.


item_name: fried slice
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a delicious piece of best stale bread, fried in thick, white, greasy lard until golden brown in places.  It looks perfect for clogging those arteries.


item_name: Bottle of Shiboriate Sake
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a bottle of premium Shiboriate sake.  It has a square label stuck to it bearing the laughing panda logo of the Kou Ture Sake Emporium.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Shiboriate bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: [size] witches' broom stencil
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a medium piece of cardboard, cut with a hole in the shape of a witches' broom so it can be used as a stencil when painting.

appraise_text:
The medium witches' broom stencil is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of card and paper.


item_name: set of yew kitchen cupboards
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a set of kitchen cupboards made from yew wood.  Simply cut with modest lines, the cupboards are a pleasant pale yellow colour and radiate warmth and comfort.  Lacquered lightly with a glossy coat, two wide doors can swing open so that items may be stored inside.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The set of yew kitchen cupboards is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: red seashell
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a pretty red seashell.  The ridges which form a fan on the outside as well as the smooth surface on the inside are covered in a natural red paint.

appraise_text:
The red seashell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: small blue conch
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small blue conch shell.  It's a very nice conch, though.  You definitely haven't seen many better conch shells than this.  It's a premium quality conch.  Can you tell I'm rambling?

appraise_text:
The small blue conch is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: honey cake
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small round golden brown honeycake.  It looks as though it would crumble in your mouth and spread delicious vibes throughout your belly, and the person who made it was clearly an expert baker.


item_name: phoenix egg
description: This is an egg laid by a phoenix. It feels heavy, and quite warm.
weight: about three pounds
appraise_text:
The phoenix egg is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: wearable imp
appraise_text: You appraise the little brown imp and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about three pounds
description:
This small brown creature sits about six inches tall and peers around herself with mischievous looking brown eyes.  Her mouth is full of tiny sharp teeth that give her grin a fearsome quality, but are probably too small to even pierce the skin.  Her totally hairless body is well defined, rippling with muscles which give the impression that this little creature is more than capable of looking after herself.  However, a growing layer of fat indicates that she has gotten used to an easy life upon her owner's shoulder.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.


item_name: yellow rose
description:
The long green stem of this elegant rose supports a single yellow flower.  The delicate petals are so pale they are almost white at the edges, shading into a yellow so deep it is almost gold at the base.


item_name: Genua scenes embroidery book
weight: less than a pound
description:
The front cover of this embroidery pattern book is a depiction of the Diamond City of Genua.  A pair of mouse footmen stand to either side, one threading a needle, the other embroidering a design onto a jacket pocket.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed embroidery pattern book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: pair of empty maracas
weight: about a pound
description:
The maraca is a rattle-like percussion instrument which consists of a dried gourd onna stick, usually containing small stones or something similar.  This pair is empty and doesn't make any noise, but you can still shake them wildly and pretend to be a musician.

appraise_text:
The pair of empty maracas is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of dried gourd and appears to be a musical instrument from the percussion family.


item_name: carved pine mantelpiece
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a carved pine mantelpiece.  A symmetrical floral motif runs along its front, the two ends meeting in a bouquet of roses about the centre.  There is nothing on the carved pine mantelpiece.

appraise_text:
The carved pine mantelpiece is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of pine and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: heavy copper jug
weight: about four pounds
description:
Round-bellied and solid, this formidable copper jug would do just as well at pouring water over your head in the bath or clipping your mother-in-law over the head in the kitchen.  In fact, a suspicious dent in one side suggests someone might have used it for just that purpose.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The heavy copper jug is about a foot and a half long and about three feet wide.  It is made of copper and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 4 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 quarts.


item_name: pumpkin chest
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
Shaped and painted like a perfectly ripe pumpkin, this chest is held just off the ground by four sturdy wooden wheels.  Unfortunately, these appear to be merely decorative in nature, and don't actually turn.  A deep green stem has been attached to the top of the chest to act as a handle.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The pumpkin chest is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: grandfather clock
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is an intricately carved grandfather clock.  It stands about six feet tall with a glass front which allows you to see the pendulum swinging back and forth inside.  The face is made of brass and inlaid with a view of Discworld.  In addition to the large hour, minute and second hands there are smaller dials set in the face to indicate the date.  According to the dials it is twenty-five past one on Friday the 1st of June.

appraise_text:
The grandfather clock is about six feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: box of cigarettes
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small white cardboard box designed to hold cigarettes.  The cigarette box is completely full with ten cigarettes.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The cigarette box is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of card and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wearable gator
appraise_text: You appraise the green baby alligator and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about three pounds
description:
This tiny baby 'gator is all but split in half by an enormous toothy grin which seems as long around as he is tall.  A row of shiny white teeth sparkle from the inside of his roguish smile which beams from underneath two beady blue eyes set too close together in a face only a mother could love.  Leathery green skin covers this cute little critter's entire body, all the way down to his stubby, swishing tail, and a bumpy ridge runs all the way from his tail to the top of his head.  While his type are usually deadly hunters, his fat little belly indicates that this is one 'gator that likes life on his owner's shoulder.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.


item_name: green and white striped anaconda
appraise_text: You appraise the green and white striped anaconda and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a nice large green and white striped anaconda.  It looks like it would look really good draped around your neck.  It is in good shape.  It is lying.  It looks perfectly happy.


item_name: large round table
special_find_note: f32560bdd6d41e3c4d470d8154fdcc75f28da6ed
description:
A large round table.  There are some strange markings around the rim, they must be letters.  It is a very old table and bits of it are starting to crumble.  Written in angular letters:  King Bill from Ecky-Thump, cute picture.

appraise_text:
The large round table is about five feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: mother of pearl fan
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is an antique mother of pearl fan, complete with engraved silver and gold guardsticks.  The leaf of thin silk gauze attached to the fan's ribs is painted with an amusing scene of cherubs carrying a mandolin whilst another goes on ahead up a rope ladder to peep into an open window.  The handle is a thick concoction of mother of pearl that has been carved into a shape that sits well in the hand.

appraise_text:
The mother of pearl fan is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: white wrought iron chair
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This chair is made of intricately detailed wrought iron that has been painted white.  The iron has been shaped into leaves and flowers.

appraise_text:
The white wrought iron chair is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Pillow Book
description: This is a sexy-looking book bound in red silk. It is closed.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The closed Pillow Book is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Pepper Pants
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of Pepper Pants, about one stalk.  This plant is also called Anthriscus lancri, and is a low, twiggy plant with shiny, yellowish leaves, a pungent scent and a bitter, very spicy taste.  Its tiny flowers are split in two parts and are usually red, white or plaid.


item_name: block of musk incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small stack of musk scented holy incense, about one block.  It can be burnt to purify the area in preparation for a religious ritual.

appraise_text:
One block of musk incense is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: transparent brown perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny bottle of scent.  It has a tiny label on it with a picture of some cloves.  You could probably spray it on and find yourself gorgeous to the casual observer.

appraise_text:
The transparent brown perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: small coloured paintbox
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny paintbox, full of tiny quantities of coloured paints.  Presumably only somebody very small would find this useful.

appraise_text:
The small coloured paintbox is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Sekkite rod [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
As miniature poles go, this one is pretty threatening.  Its blackened metal length is adorned with painful-looking ridges.  Above a circlet of iron spikes, it is topped by a seven-sided emblem, each point of which is decorated with a tiny hand and metal point.

appraise_text:
The spiked black pole is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of iron and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: tin of C.M.O.T Dibbler's cream of guaranteed rust removal
description: The tin contains a dubious yellow-brown substance that smells oddly of sausages... and buns.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The tin of C.M.O.T Dibbler's cream of guaranteed rust removal (TM) is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of brass.


item_name: bottle of peaches and cream bubblebath
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of pale orange and creamy white through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of peaches and cream bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is pale orange and creamy white and is made of glass.


item_name: bottle of Klatchian Kir
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large clear glass bottle.  The large clear bottle is about three-quarters full with one pint of Klatchian kir.  It is about three-quarters full.  It is open.


item_name: [size] constellation of stars stencil
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny piece of cardboard, cut with a hole in the shape of a constellation of stars so it can be used as a stencil when painting.

appraise_text:
The tiny constellation of stars stencil is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of card and paper.


item_name: schweinfart emperor cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a rare cabbage breed from Uberwald, quite liked by vampires because the werewolves are sickened by the smell.


item_name: glass of champagne
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a tall, thin, flute glass, of the sort usually used to serve sparkling wine in the more refined pubs and restaurants.  The flute glass of champagne is completely full with six ounces of champagne.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The flute glass of champagne is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: exquisite pearwood case
weight: about three pounds
description:
Exquisite is the only way to describe the artistry that is this scroll case.  A master artificer has tamed and crafted the rarest and darkest of all pearwoods.  Unlike any other case of this type, the wood of this particular artifact has been filigreed and etched.  Coupled with metal work of pure, raw octiron, which has been formed to depict strange and frightening Uberwaldean scenes, this masterfully created scroll case is a formidable artifact, both in power and in appearance.  Where there might be corners on the case, the metal work rises up to form miniature gargoyles and the feet of the case have been formed to resemble the claws of dragons.  The whole of the case has been magically blackened, yet it gleams and glistens in every speck of light it can absorb.  It is in perfect condition.  There is no ink in the well.  It contains no paper.  It radiates pure octarine brilliance.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The exquisite pearwood case is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of pearwood.


item_name: simple cream bed
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is a comfortable-looking double bed, its timber frame sturdy but slim enough to have a certain composed charm to it.  Each bed post is topped with a little brass knob, and the wood is painted cream.  The sheets and blankets with which it has been made are of a slightly darker cream, while the pillows and the few cushions thrown on the end of the bed are a deep, pleasant blue.

appraise_text:
The simple cream bed is about eighteen and a half feet long and about sixteen and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: lasagne
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a meal served in a small bowl with varying layers of food inside.  It does actually appear delicious, if a little small, with four alternating layers of a meat sauce and rectangular sheets of pasta topped with a cheese sauce and some cheese.  There are a few vegetables at one side of the bowl and a small amount of herbs have been sprinkled onto the top of the lasagne itself.


item_name: oak double bed
weight: about fifty pounds
description:
This is a medium-sized bed made of blonde oak.  Each corner of the bed has a short post with a knob, and the feet of the bed look somewhat like large, cloven pigs feet.  The mattress is thin and hard.

appraise_text:
The oak double bed is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bottle of bergamot perfume
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of turquoise crystal.  It is almost full of bergamot perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
The turquoise perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: dried starfish
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown starfish, shrivelled and dried.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Glaxos, and is intended to prevent accidental pregnancies.

appraise_text:
The dried starfish is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of starfish.


item_name: large Auriental vase
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This large Auriental vase is decorated with a traditional pattern featuring a large red dragon, curled around the vase and surrounded by small birds.  You feel an urge to tap it to see if it's a ming vase.

appraise_text:
The large Auriental vase is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of plaster and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wooden wine rack
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This wine rack is a grid of slats, designed to hold half a dozen bottles.  It is made of unfinished pine and looks like a practical addition to a rustic home or to a cellar.  There is nothing on the wooden wine rack.

appraise_text:
The wooden wine rack is about a foot and a half long and about two feet wide.  It is made of pine and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 27 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: midnight blue amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Fashioned from fine clay and glazed a deep shade of midnight blue, this amphora has been painted with silhouettes of a hunting party complete with dogs and fleeing deer in white.  A work of quality, its handles are tall and arched to allow easy stacking and handling, and the triangular clay stopper has been decorated with a wavy white line and attached to the neck with a braided silver grey ribbon.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The midnight blue amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: coy noibi windsock
weight: about a pound
description:
Marking the presence of "Children's Day" in Shoo-Li, this colourful windsock makes a pleasant addition to any garden or child's room year-round.  Carp, which are considered "kings of the river" and highly respected for their ability to swim upstream, are rolemodels for young children in their ability to overcome obstacles.  This windsock is made from cotton and depicts a large red carp with matching tassels for fins and sequins for scales.

appraise_text:
The coy noibi windsock is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: floral patterns embroidery book
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a book of embroidery patterns.  On the front is a picture of a beautiful embroidery of a straw basket filled with autumn wildflowers.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed floral embroidery pattern book is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: powder blue amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed in a soft powder blue, this amphora carries a porcelain white relief of a slender pair of lovers, locked in their first kiss.  A work of fine art, its handles are small and more decorative than useful, the taller, more fluted silhouette of the amphora echoing the elongated flowing figures.  An experimental piece, this amphora is delicate, the light seeming to flow through it and illuminate the lovers from within.  Unlike most amphorae, it lacks a stopper, being intended for display.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The powder blue amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: medium wooden box
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a medium-sized wood box that has been skilfully carved from ebony by a master craftsman.  The interior has been left plain and the lustre of the natural wood allowed to shine through.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The medium wooden box is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of ebony and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 72 pounds, or about one hundred items.


item_name: top hat [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny black silk top hat.  It has a narrow brim and the crown stands four inches from the base.

appraise_text:
The black silk top hat is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: golden sarcophagus
weight: about two hundred pounds
description:
This is a fine black lacquered sarcophagus that has been decorated with an elaborate design in gold.  It has a beautiful interior of red silk.  This lovely sarcophagus is just the thing to entomb your dear departed brother, friend, spouse or Pharaoh in.  You could probably heft a mummy into this coffin.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The golden sarcophagus is about eight and a half feet long and about four and a half feet wide.  It is gold and is made of cedar and gold and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 444 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: grandmother clock
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
Slightly smaller and slimmer than the grandfather clock, this plain clock is made of polished white ash.  It has a narrow glass door that allows you to see the pendulum swinging hypnotically back and forth inside.  The face is made of ivory parchment decorated with rosebuds, and each number has been carefully painted in gold.  Small dials indicate the date as well.  According to the clock it is twenty-five past one on Friday the 1st of June.

appraise_text:
The grandmother clock is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: kanji parasol
weight: about seven pounds
description:
Handcrafted in HungHung, this oiled paper parasol is beautifully handpainted and handmade with bamboo ribs and a bamboo handle.  Kanji words of happiness and good fortune grace the white oiled accordion-folded paper in black, red and yellow writing.  Inexpensive and colourful, these parasols make great party decor!

appraise_text:
The kanji parasol is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: snow white amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed in bright snow-white, this amphora carries a startling all-over spider web pattern in fine black tracery.  A work of fine art, its handles are slender and seem too fragile to hold its weight.  Its stopper has been painted black and formed in the shape of a spider.  It is attached to the neck by a shimmering silver silk cord.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The snow white amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Micklegreen's Juicy cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a variety of cabbage that grows to a huge size in wet conditions, but if you are unfortunate enough to tread near after it is ripe it will explode over you and no amount of scrubbing will get the smell off for weeks.


item_name: heather shrub amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, this amphora has been glazed in a shade of dark lavender on top of a pattern of swirling violet and dark green, creating an end result not unlike heather shrubs in bloom in the wild.  A work of high quality, it is quite atypical in not being painted with silhouette scenery like most Ephebian earthenware.  It has a bit more rounded handles than usual for amphorae, and a round stopper impressed with the outline of a twig of heather, attached to its neck with a leather string.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The heather shrub amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Ankh-water bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a large patrician-size bed.  It has a wooden frame made from light oak and carved with images of ships and sea creatures.  What makes this bed special is the mattress, which has been filled with Ankh-water to provide a much harder surface than normal.

appraise_text:
The Ankh-water bed is about seven feet long and about six feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: old worn cane
weight: 4 1/9 lb
description:
This is a very old cane made of some sturdy wood that can keep up with being banged around everywhere.  Years of use have given it a rather natural polish.

appraise_text:
The old worn cane is about three and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: silk jasmine plant
weight: about ten pounds
description:
The delicate and fragile beauty of the blossoms on this silk-flowered plant is matched by the distinctive and soothing scent of jasmine perfume that they have been doused in.  Silk absorbs scents very well, making it the perfect material to use for perfumed silk plants.  Its pleasant aroma makes this a popular plant to keep in the bedroom.

appraise_text:
The silk jasmine plant is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Assassins' Guild coat of arms
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a finely crafted replica of the Assassins' Guild coat of arms.  The shield is made from the finest steel and is bisected diagonally with a strip of polished brass.  A cloak and dagger have been etched into the upper-right half and two crosses adorn the bottom-left.

appraise_text:
The Assassins' Guild coat of arms is about two feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of steel and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: medium-sized shiny luggage
description: This medium-sized chest is shuffling about at the back of the shop, waiting to be bought.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The medium-sized shiny luggage is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: watermelon sherbet
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
A watermelon flavoured sherbet that makes your mouth tingle when you taste it.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: itch
appraise_text: The itch is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of itchy bits.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This strange purple object is an itch.  It squirms and twists as if in agony, but because it is soft and wobbly it lacks the means to scratch itself.


item_name: bag of grapes
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a little brown paper bag capable of holding a lot of very small things.  It has been decorated with an ever typical simple Ephebian wave pattern.  The little paper bag is about half full with ten small grapes.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The little paper bag is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or about twenty items.


item_name: small magenta dictionary
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small, compact dictionary designed to aid the Ephebian speaking person in their Agatean studies.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed small magenta dictionary is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Buffalo Bells
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is the famous Auriental meal of buffalo bells, which is actually a polite name for... well, you get the picture.  The meal consists of a plate with a small bowl of red sauce in the middle, surrounded by crisp and crunchy, golden brown balls.  If you close your eyes while you eat you could probably convince yourself you were eating something else entirely, but the flavour would probably spoil that image.  Even the smell of these tasty morsels is divine.


item_name: ebony peryton bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This bed has been carefully crafted from finest ebony wood.  Its bedposts are carved in a way to resemble four quite realistic, albeit smaller, copies of leafless ebony trees.  The carving of a vicious creature, seemingly a mixture between a deer and a bird of prey, is perched on the footboard.  The beast, also known as the peryton, has a long feathery tail and huge ebony antlers that nearly reach the tops of the bedposts.  Large wings growing from its back are slightly outstretched, giving the beast an alert look.  Strangely enough, the peryton casts a humanoid shadow on the mattress, thus giving it an overall impression of a forest deathbed for whoever dares to sleep in it.

appraise_text:
The ebony peryton bed is about six and a half feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of ebony and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: print of Up Close and Personal with Iris
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a print of Henriette Duchams' Up Close and Personal with Iris.  Originally done with colour pencils, it shows a purple and yellow bearded iris.  It is from the perspective of a bee which explains why most of the picture is blurred blobs of yellow, purple and green.

appraise_text:
The print of Up Close and Personal with Iris is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: standard furniture lock package
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small, brown paper bag, just the type to hold sweets, peanuts, or any other similar object.  The paper bag is completely full with a standard furniture lock and a small furniture key.  It is open.


item_name: large cabbage green bottle
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large cabbage green glass bottle.  This is a vintage bottle of Sto Plains white wine.  It is a sparkling white wine made of cabbage.  The large cabbage green bottle is about three-quarters full with one pint of sparkling white wine.  It is about three-quarters full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large cabbage green bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: lacquered canopy bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a stunning Auriental canopy bed, surrounded completely on three sides by interconnected mahogany planks that encase the mattress.  Without a mattress, the bed would serve as a good puppet theatre for a troupe of children, but since there is currently a soft mattress, some blankets and several red and gold brocaded pillows inside it, the puppet theatre probably wouldn't work out too well.  The bed's sides have been lacquered and painted with a variety of reds, golds, greens and browns, and a roof, larger than the base of the bed, its corners curling upward, sits on top of the structure as a crowning glory.

appraise_text:
The lacquered canopy bed is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: big crowbar
description: This is a length of iron, made for prising windows open, shifting weights and cracking skulls.
weight: 8 8/9 lb
appraise_text:
The big crowbar is about two and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: print of Hemp Fandango
weight: about a pound
description:
This print of Michel Du Bois' Hemp Fandango shows two lengths of hemp rope on a dance floor.  One is dressed in a tuxedo while the other wears a pink ball gown.  They appear to be dancing.

appraise_text:
The print of Hemp Fandango is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: gator head
weight: about seven pounds
description:
Part of the belief in voodoo in Genua is centred around the negative energy that a practitioner can inflict on his or her unwilling target.  In an attempt to avoid such negative energy, the canny Genuan will make use of juju talismans... items that are designed to ward off negative energy within a location.  The heads of wild alligators are often used for this purpose, and hung from the roof of the home to be protected.  This is one such juju talisman.  The alligator itself doesn't look particularly pleased to be protecting people in such a way... its glassy eyes are still filled with malevolence, and its open mouth reveals teeth that are just as sharp and vicious as they were in life.

appraise_text:
The gator head is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: some cumin
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a a small pile of thin brown cumin seeds, about one seed.  A bush with long, floppy stems and white flowers.  Its seeds have a nutty and somewhat bitter taste.


item_name: "Shades Crew" mug
weight: about a pound
description:
This grubby looking mug has seen many pots of coffee and of tea so thick you can stick a spoon in it, but not nearly as many rinses.  This is the genuine Shades stuff - it's even chipped at the bottom.  And just so that everyone knows the mug is cultural rather than unhygienic, the words "Shades Crew" have been added in black paint.

appraise_text:
The "Shades Crew" mug is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: guitar
weight: about four pounds
description:
This guitar hasn't been made to the most exacting standards, but it is functional and, more importantly, inexpensive.  It looks suitably smashable.

appraise_text:
The guitar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and appears to be a musical instrument from the stringed family.


item_name: fiddle-back chair
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This chair, made of the finest burled maple from Sto Helit, has a high back that is carved into the basic shape of a fiddle.  Curling scrolls and mysterious little knobs of wood probably do not add up to a comfortable seat, however, and it is for this reason that bill collectors, lawyers, and mothers-in-law frequently end up sitting in chairs like this.

appraise_text:
The fiddle-back chair is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: medium leather shield
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
This leather shield has been made from a wooden frame with two layers of hardened and specially treated leather stretched over it.  Additional metal reinforcements in the form of thin strips of iron make it an especially good shield for its weight.

appraise_text:
The medium leather shield is about two and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of leather and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: large mug of real coffee
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a mug, of the sort usually used to serve hot drinks such as coffee.  The mug of black coffee is completely full with two cups of black coffee.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The mug of black coffee is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: old painting
appraise_text: The old painting is about two feet long and about a foot and a half wide. It is made of canvas.
description:
This is an old painting of a grumpy looking old man wearing a nightcap.  The paint is cracking and it could be quite embarrassing to be caught with such a terrible quality painting.  It's not even got a frame, so even if you really wanted to hang it up you couldn't.


item_name: traditional scroll painting of a child and a rabbit
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a traditional Agatean scroll painting of a child and a rabbit.  Holding out a carrot tentatively to the small beast, the child is robed with a yellow and white flowered kimono and looks slightly timid despite his bold gesture.

appraise_text:
The traditional scroll painting of a child and a rabbit is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: trench coat [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small trenchcoat, the kind that detectives would use.  Under normal circumstances you would half expect a waft of cigar smoke to be in the air.

appraise_text:
The beige trenchcoat is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is beige and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black lacquered armchair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a black lacquer armchair with a wide piece of burl wood in the middle.  The chair is quite square in design, with sharp ninety degree right angles where the pieces meet.  It looks rather delicate and it is questionable as to how much weight it would support.

appraise_text:
The black lacquered armchair is about five feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and lacquer and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sheep sugar shaker
weight: les than a pound
special_find_note: 1ed9614e3a58eba9b63ebce789078e0caebaea64
description:
This sugar shaker is made in the shape of a cute little ram.  A determined, but somewhat stupid expression on his face, he stands proudly.  His big curved horns have little holes for the sugar to come out.

appraise_text:
The sheep sugar shaker is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: treasure chest
weight: less than a pound
description:
A small treasure chest, made from sapient pearwood.  It wears an eye-patch and is leering at you suspiciously.  It has clearly not been in the ground for any extended period.  Its lid is shut, although not apparently locked.

appraise_text:
The treasure chest is about nine inches long and about a foot wide.  It is made of sapient pearwood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.  It has clearly not been in the ground for any extended period.


item_name: some delphinium
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of delphiniums, about one sprig.  The delphiniums growing here are also known as blue butterfly, and looking at them it is obvious to see why.  Clusters of blue flowers cover the light green foilage, their petals are shaped like butterfly wings.


item_name: textured leaf screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This beautiful screen has a lovely honey oak frame which pales in comparison to the panelling it holds.  Three textured rice paper panels, each divided into six vertical segments, sit in the hinged frame, each one handpainted in watercolours with a tan leaf design.  The frame is double-hinged so it can bend both backwards and forward to suit its placement, and the rice paper panelling has been ribbed with matchstick-like strings of wood to give it more support. 

appraise_text:
The textured leaf screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: mandarin-design walnut mirror
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a tall mirror that is graced with elegant scrollwork at its corners in chocolate brown walnut wood.  The wood has been etched and filled in with differing shades of orange enamel, depicting flowers, a pagoda, and several geishas as well as a triangular pattern which extends down the sides of the mirror's frame.  It is too dark to see much in the room.

appraise_text:
The mandarin-design walnut mirror is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large canopic jar
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a very grand and large canopic jar made from the finest alabaster.  This size of jar would be just perfect for storing the major organs of your deceased friends or family in.  It has been absolutely covered in wonderful geometric carvings.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large canopic jar is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of alabaster and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: fast-acting needle trap
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a needle trap suitable for rigging inside the lock of a door.  It uses a small needle that will inject a fast acting poison into anyone clumsily picking the lock.

appraise_text:
The fast-acting needle trap is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: oval bronze shield
weight: 9 1/9 lb
description:
This perfectly oval piece of bronze has been expertly worked into a finely-balanced shield.  Its shape is such that it can be wielded in one arm while not overly hindering one's movement.  There is an intricately-etched figure of a griffon in flight on the central, raised boss of the shield which is so life-like that it almost seems to swoop off towards one's enemies.

appraise_text:
The seven-fold oxhide shield is about five feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of leather and bronze and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: beautiful red rose
description:
This red rose is incredibly beautiful, and is of the long-stem, clasp between the teeth and dance around to impress the ladies type.  The thorns on it are quite sharp, but the flower is brilliant and at the height of its bloom.


item_name: black dress pipe
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a sleek and elegant man's pipe.  The silver army mount contrasts delightfully against the elegant black stained bowl and the black stem.  It has no tobacco in it.

appraise_text:
The black dress pipe is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wicker-work bin
weight: about three pounds
description:
This small, upright basket is made of closely woven cane wicker-work, stained a deep and attractive honey colour.  It looks just the sort of thing to sit unobtrusively in the corner of a room to receive all your little unwanted trifles.

appraise_text:
The wicker-work bin is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: oatmeal maze amphora
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay, and glazed in a pleasant oatmeal colour, this amphora carries a maze-like tracery of cornflower blue lines, surrounding the figure of a man bearing a sword and round shield.  On the back of the amphora, also encased in the maze, a strange half-man, half-bull is painted.  A work of fine art, its handles are broad and shaped to allow easy pouring, and its cylindrical ceramic stopper has been painted with the Ephebian word for exit, and attached to the neck by a cornflower blue ribbon.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The oatmeal maze amphora is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 555 pounds, about two hundred and eighty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: slim blue guidebook
description:
A slim, blue guidebook, bound in stiffened canvas with printed lettering above a picture of a windmill on the front cover.


item_name: small block of clove incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of cloves.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of clove incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: dried plum
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a large purple plum.  It is slightly bruised and just a little squishy.  It is all dry and shrivelled up.


item_name: wearable frog
appraise_text: You appraise the red and green frog and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a fat, colourful frog around eight inches in length.  Red and green blotches cover her wide, pudgy body, which sports four spindly limbs ending in webbed feet.  Large, fleshy pads on the end of bony toes give this creature the ability to cling to whatever person's shoulder she happens to inhabit, although a fleshy, warty face makes this little frog somewhat less than a study in cute.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.


item_name: Beef in Black Bog
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
The recipe for this famous meal has been guarded for centuries by the family of the restaurant chef.  The secret, it is whispered, is in the seven secret herbs and spices that go into the bog.  The beef content of the meal is simply whatever meat was handy at the time, slapped onto the grill until it is dark enough to be anonymous then taken off and covered in tasty bog.  The aroma that arises from the plate of black goo makes your mouth water so much you have to tilt your head back to stop from drooling.


item_name: scalloped square parasol
weight: about four pounds
description:
Handmade in a stunning square shape, its edges slightly scalloped, this oiled paper parasol features beautiful rose-coloured flowers set on doe brown stems which are surrounded by peacock blue forget-me-nots with tiny yellow centres.  Very minor imperfections scatter the parasol, betraying the fact that each parasol in its set has been crafted lovingly by hand.

appraise_text:
The scalloped square parasol is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: diamond-patterned [colour] wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
The back of this cream wicker-work chair curves around in a comfortable semi-circle into the arms, sweeping down towards the braided knots that form the hand rests.  It looks something like half a basket, with the woven pattern interrupted in the centre of the back in such a way as to make a decorative diamond shape that draws the eye and complements the weave elsewhere.

appraise_text:
The diamond-patterned cream wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: domino mask [build-a-bear]
description: This is a miniature black domino mask. It would probably make whatever wore it look very thiefy.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The black domino mask is about an inch long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Caroc card
appraise_text: The Caroc card is about six inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This card is about four inches by six inches and quite dog-eared, although it seems to be waxed, which must have helped it survive the elements.  On one side is a faded picture of what looks like a turtle, while the other is blank, except for a small mystic-looking design in the very centre.


item_name: snarling Sek doll
appraise_text: The snarling Sek doll is about nine inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of leather.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny representation of Sek in flesh-coloured leather.  Best not to ask what the leather came from, or why this tiny, seven-handed doll appears to be so upset with its current state.


item_name: guitar primer
weight: about a pound
description:
This a thin book of woodcuts printed on poor quality paper with the title of: Blert Wheedown's Guitar Primer.  The front cover pictures a young man playing a guitar and beneath the man crooked letters proudly declare: Play your Way to Success in Three Easy Lessons and Four Hard Lessons.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed guitar primer is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper and appears to be a musical instrument from the stringed family.


item_name: wooden koto
weight: about six pounds
description:
This looks like a six foot length of wood with thirteen strings fastened along its length.  The back of the wooden body of the koto is flat, whilst the front where the strings are fastened is slightly convex.  On each string is a peg that is set at a particular length of the string, this produces the pitch of the note from that particular string.

appraise_text:
The wooden koto is about six feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small block of rose incense
weight: less than a pound
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of roses.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of rose incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: white rose bridal bouquet
weight: about a pound
description:
Made from mostly from white roses, this bridal bouquet also has three delicate tiger lilies positioned equidistant at the front.  It is simple, yet pretty.

appraise_text:
The white rose bridal bouquet is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of flowers and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Bottle of Kuroshu Sake
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a bottle of premium Kuroshu sake.  It has a square label stuck to it bearing the laughing panda logo of the Kou Ture Sake Emporium.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Kuroshu bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: mandarin fan screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This beautiful screen has a lovely walnut oak frame which pales in comparison to the panelling it holds.  Three smooth silk panels, each divided into eighteen square segments, sit in the hinged frame, each one handpainted in brilliant mandarin, lilac, cream and peridot watercolours with a mandarin orange hana fan design.  The frame is double-hinged so it can bend both backwards and forward to suit its placement.

appraise_text:
The mandarin fan screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large pine board
description: This is a simple pine board, about the size of a tabletop.
weight: about twenty pounds
appraise_text:
The large pine board is about five feet long and about four and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: pristine statue of a marble goddess
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This life-size statue, cut from dull white marble, depicts a young goddess naked from the waist and up, one hand raised as if in a friendly greeting.  She offers her benevolent protection to any who comes to rest a moment in the quiet tranquillity of her calm gaze.

appraise_text:
The pristine statue of a marble goddess is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: black leather whip
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is an evil looking whip with a frayed end.  It would go well with certain other black leather clothing.

appraise_text:
The black leather whip is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is made of leather and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: abstract sculpture
weight: about five pounds
description:
This is one of those sculptures you generally find in extremely rich establishments.  Its only reason for being is to quietly remind the visitor that the person who owns it also possesses vast amounts of power.

appraise_text:
The abstract sculpture is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: standard door lock
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a clear packaging for a standard door lock.  The standard door lock package is completely full with a standard door lock and a small brass key.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The standard door lock package is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: matte [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of matte [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of matte [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: Retribution
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
Of all the magical weapons feared by evil-doers, Retribution usually comes near the top of the list.  A massive mace that would pack a considerable punch for an ordinary weapon, it has been imbued with an ancient sentience that is committed to the eradication of evil.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
Retribution is about two and a half feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: whole dog corpse
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Devoid of the head, legs and tail this corpse could almost be mistaken for a goat corpse although only by a very unobservant person.


item_name: porcelain dish
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This exquisite dish is fully two feet across and decorated with delicately painted flowers.  The depth of colour and detail is astounding.

appraise_text:
The porcelain dish is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: dragon egg candle holder
weight: about a pound
description:
Four stylised dragon's feet in pewter, each adorned with a gleaming emerald, support a large porcelain egg that has been cracked open so that a small candle could fit inside, its light streaming out through the thin fabric of the "shell".  The egg itself has been carefully painted with the image of a purple noble dragon in flight over a stylised pattern of orange flames.  There is nothing on the dragon egg candle holder.

appraise_text:
The dragon egg candle holder is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold less than one pound, or six items.


item_name: steel haft
appraise_text: The steel haft is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of dwarf steel.
weight: about a pound and a half
special_find_note: Found in Copperhead mines.
description:
This is a long handle made of tempered dwarf steel.  Cross-hatching close to one end allows for a good grip and marks which end is which.  If you had some other pieces, you might be able to forge them back together.


item_name: white perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The white perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: honey and toffee crunch ice cream
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
A bowl of rich honey ice cream with toffee pieces folded through and two wafers to top it off.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: plain white marble bench
weight: about ten pounds
description:
Barely more sophisticated than a slab of white marble polished to a shine, this is as simplistic as benches get.  Its undecorated surface reflects the light beautifully, and at the same time fails to draw the eye away from more important assets of the location.

appraise_text:
The plain white marble bench is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bag of dark chocolate truffles
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small rectangular paper bag of a chic and tasteful, deep dark green.  Painted on it in suave gold letters is the word "Hayaryu's".  The spartan green bag contains:  ten dark chocolate truffles.  It is open.


item_name: standard door lock package
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a small, brown paper bag, just the type to hold sweets, peanuts, or any other similar object.  The paper bag is completely full with a standard door lock and a small brass key.  It is open.


item_name: sweet potato muffin
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a muffin made from sweet potato, hence its name.  It is small and delicious-looking, ideal to have with some kind of jam or preserve.


item_name: percussion sheet music
description: This is a single sheet of music for percussion instruments.
weight: less than half a pound
appraise_text:
The percussion sheet music is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Queen Ptraci sofa
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is a padded sofa in the Klatchian style known as Queen Ptraci, since the style became popular during her reign.  It is upholstered in soft rose silk and embroidered with a delicate pattern of swans.  The frame is made of pale lacquered wood that is inlaid with amber, pearls, and silver wire.  It is the ideal tableau for a good, dramatic swoon or a seductive pose.

appraise_text:
The Queen Ptraci sofa is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Noble Lord Sake Set
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a finely crafted sake box for storing high quality accessories.  It has been crafted from prized Agatean teak and inlaid with a mother of pearl mosaic, depicting a noble panda delicately eating bamboo shoots.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The teak sake box is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: watercolour landscape screen
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This beautiful screen has a lovely honey rosewood frame that pales in comparison to the panelling it holds.  Three rice paper panels sit in the hinged frame, each one handpainted in watercolours and depicting one third of a Agatean mountain landscape.  The frame is double-hinged so it can bend both backwards and forward to suit its placement, and the rice paper panelling has been ribbed with matchstick-like strings of wood to give it more support. 

appraise_text:
The watercolour landscape screen is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of paper and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small leather shield
weight: 2lb
description:
A small leather shield with a wooden frame over which layers of hardened and specially treated leather have been stretched.  Thin strips of iron have been used to reinforce the shield and provide strength without too much extra weight.

appraise_text:
The small leather shield is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: Old Ramtops tobacco
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown leather pouch designed for carrying tobacco.  The stitching at the seams is slightly ragged.  The brown leather pouch is about one-quarter full with one handful of old Ramtops tobacco.  It is open.


item_name: [colour] curly-haired cat
appraise_text: You appraise the tabby curly-haired cat and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about ten pounds
description:
A tiny, sweet-faced cat with endearing elfin features, large inquisitive eyes and a turned-up nose.  A tabby coat of loose waves and curls covers a strong supple body in a compact, refined form.  His ears are unusually large, and turn to follow every sound.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.


item_name: old redwood writing desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a sturdy old writing desk, made of heavy redwood, once polished to a fine gloss but now scuffed and mellowed with time.  Four drawers are set in the front, each with a simple brass handle.  There is nothing on the old redwood writing desk.

appraise_text:
The old redwood writing desk is about five feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: black wooden coffin table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a strange amalgamation of a coffee table and a coffin.  It is of the traditional coffee table height, but shaped like a coffin.  The top is black, inlaid with gold fluting around the edge and the word "RIP" the centre.  The underside has been padded, just like the inside of a coffin lid.  There is nothing on the black wooden coffin table.

appraise_text:
The black wooden coffin table is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: Sekkir of Sek's toe bone
weight: less than a pound
description:
This bone is claimed to be from the body of Sekkir, a prophet of Sek.  Although this could be the case it is quite unlikely as Sekkir was last seen entering the digestive tract of a large Djelian crocodile when he went to preach to the infidel.  It has a small label attached to it, reading "Thee Toe Bone Ofe Sekkir".

appraise_text:
Sekkir of Sek's toe bone is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of bone.


item_name: Happy Inhumation banner
description: This is a big banner in solid black lined with pictures of tiny womble skulls.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The Happy Inhumation banner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: black lacquered pet coffin
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a rather small, beautifully created pet coffin, made of black lacquered wood.  It has a beautiful white silk interior.  Inside a rather small pillow is stitched to the top of the coffin.  It looks like it was made for a rather small pet cat or dog.  You could probably heft a corpse into this coffin.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The black lacquered pet coffin is about two and a half feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: castle wind chime
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a fairytale styled wind chime.  Fluffy white clouds made from glass dangle on thin wires, surrounding a tiny replica of Genua's palace; complete with its towers and ice cream turrets.  The chimes hang from an elegant wooden frame which can be used as a free-standing unit or attached to a convenient wall or ceiling.

appraise_text:
The castle wind chime is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bottle of sultry sandalwood perfume
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of red crystal.  It is almost full of sandalwood perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
The red perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: tung bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
The frame of this narrow, single bed is made of natural tung wood, a squat, oily sort of tree from distant Agatea.  At some point, tung trees must have cross-pollinated with sapient pearwood, however, because you have an uneasy suspicion that this bed wants to lick you.

appraise_text:
The tung bed is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: small wooden box
description: This is a small wooden box. It looks perfect to put little things in. It is open.
weight: about seven pounds
appraise_text:
The small wooden box is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: apple wood bookcase
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a tall, narrow bookcase made of apple wood.  The top is a lovely piece of polished granite.  There is nothing on the apple wood bookcase.

appraise_text:
The apple wood bookcase is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of apple wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 50 pounds, or about seventy items.


item_name: iron dory
weight: 5 lb
description:
This is one of the standard spears used by the Ephebian hoplite phalanx.  Well-balanced and weighty, it is tipped with a keen iron head and looks able to inflict some serious damage.  The shaft, formed out of hardened and polished ash, is capped with bronze at its foot for balance.

appraise_text:
The iron dory is about six feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of iron and wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: portrait of a young woman by a pond
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a traditional Auriental painting of a woman in a long kimono with a parasol.  She is walking past a small pond, staring down at it quietly as she passes.  The background is quite minimalistic, with only the outlines of a few willow trees to fill it in.

appraise_text:
The portrait of a young woman by a pond is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Tasty Tendril
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about three pounds
description:
This long, thin tendril looks as if it was once attached to a bottom-dweller, something that lived in the darkest corner of the Turnwise Ocean.  It rests in a long basket that is lined with some leafy green vegetables.  The tendril itself is pitch black apart from some white circular suckers that run down one side.  The tendril has been steamed a long while (probably overnight) to get it tender enough and bring out exactly the right flavour.


item_name: Thieves' Guild coat of arms stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  The Thieves' Guild coat of arms.

appraise_text:
The Thieves' Guild coat of arms stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: bag of Pin'Qi green tea
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small rectangular paper bag of a chic and tasteful, deep dark green.  Painted on it in suave gold letters is the word "Hayaryu's".  The spartan green bag contains:  some Pin'Qi green tea.  It is open.


item_name: greyed wicker chair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Someone with a true fondness for wood has fashioned this small chair.  Its sturdy frame supports a seat and back of strongly woven greyed wicker-work, and legs and struts are wound about with fine strips of the same.  A few abstract patterns have been worked into the material, making for an attractive and functional seat.

appraise_text:
The greyed wicker chair is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: black cloak [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a miniature version of a cloak worn primarily by witches, but not always.  It gives off the aura of black and the images of witchcraft.

appraise_text:
The black cloak is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small black paintbox
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a tiny paintbox, full of tiny quantities of black paint.  Presumably only somebody very small would find this useful.

appraise_text:
The small black paintbox is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: apple [build-a-bear]
appraise_text: The apple is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a replica of a small apple.  It has been crafted using wood and some excellent paintwork.  There is a small strap on it.


item_name: Sea Breeze
weight: about a pound
description:
A tall, thin cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of rich, azure cocktail.  It is almost completely full.


item_name: cheap firecracker
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a large red firecracker of Auriental manufacture.  It's the sort of thing that is thrown at weddings.  You may 'light' it, and 'throw' it.  This particular firecracker looks like it should have been rejected at some point during the manufacturing process.

appraise_text:
The cheap firecracker is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: some knapweed
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of knapweed, about one stalk.  It is a tall, slender plant with purple, thistle-like flowers.


item_name: tall jade crown
special_find_note: b659139ee83a4df266d9c6792a4f7cb0e2105ea1
description:
The Fangs, always one of the first to try new things, heard about the ancient Kings of the far distant lands of Ankh-Morpork, their power, their wisdom and their wealth.  The Fangs then decided that they wanted some, so they made a replica of one of the most impressive crowns they could find, reasoning that the bigger the crown, the higher the level of power.  In deference to their Agatean heritage, though, it's made of solid jade.  Unfortunately this makes the crown very difficult to wear comfortably, but at least it looks good.


item_name: dried finger of the Prophet Brutha
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is claimed to be one of the Eighth Omnian Prophet, Brutha's fingers.  This is quite unlikely as Brutha did not have orange knobbly skin and fingers that look as if they grow in the ground and normally have green tops.  It has a small label attached to it, reading: Thys is thee Fingere of Thee Prophet Brutha.  It is all dry and shrivelled up.

appraise_text:
A dried finger of the Prophet Brutha is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It isn't really made of anything and looks edible.


item_name: Quow's Magical Research [EFF Knockdowns]
description:
A research book by Quow, going into heavy detail on what affects EFF knockdowns, what makes no difference, exp-investment worth analysis, knockdown resistance of various shields and more.


item_name: tea table
weight: about fifty pounds
description:
This is an exquisite hand carved tea table.  Lavishly lacquered and designed with elaborate afternoon ceremonies in mind,  it is most definitely not a coffee table.  Only common people own coffee tables.  There is nothing on the tea table.

appraise_text:
The tea table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 18 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: pair of Enchanted Black Silken Socks of Death
description:
These special socks belong to the Master of the Assassin's Guild.  They are embroidered with tiny, grinning skulls.  Like Death, these socks are indestructible.  Probably.


item_name: bag of brown olives
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a little brown paper bag capable of holding a lot of very small things.  It has been decorated with an ever typical simple Ephebian wave pattern.  The little paper bag is about half full with ten small brown olives.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The little paper bag is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or about twenty items.


item_name: turquoise seashell
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a pretty turquoise seashell.  It is mostly white on the ridges of the outer side which form a fan, but has a bright turquoise shimmer on the smoother surface of the inner side sparkling against the light.

appraise_text:
The turquoise seashell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: white pine bench
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a short white pine bench designed to run along a wall or table.  Lacquered with a clear glaze, its finish is durable and simple enough to reside in the most minimalistic of homes.

appraise_text:
The white pine bench is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rose bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This double bed is made of pine with a honey finish.  It features wrought iron inlays moulded into scrolling, twisting rose vines tinted with silver gilt.  Sweet dreams are guaranteed.

appraise_text:
The rose bed is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: [adjective] [colour] poodle
appraise_text: You appraise the aloof yellow poodle and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
A tall, elegantly shaped dog with a proud gait and rather aloof dark eyes, this creature is nothing like her smaller, yappy cousins.    She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her fur is brushed into a perfect display of ordered curls.


item_name: medium first aid kit
description:
This is a medium-sized carved ivory box for keeping bandages in.  Unfortunately, the elephant that the ivory previously belonged to is already far beyond the reach of first aid.  Its cover has a glass window set into it, allowing anyone in need of a bandage to see how full it is.  To keep the bandages dry and clean, the inside surface of the box has been lined with glossy white velvet and a thin strip of rubber has been laid down along the crack between its cover and its sides.  A vertical red cross, the symbol of Glaxos, the God of Medicine, is carved and dyed on the side.


item_name: the fourth part of the Cohen Tapestry
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is the fourth and final panel of the Cohen tapestry, a four-panelled artwork that depicts the conquests of Cohen the Barbarian in a handwoven design.  The end of this panel is a little frayed: years ago it might have been longer.  This panel shows Cohen and his men leaving the Counterweight Continent to continue their conquests across the Discworld.  Some of the Silver Hoarde are shown staying in Bes Pelargic, while others are shown stuffing gold into their beards.

appraise_text:
The fourth panel of the Cohen tapestry is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Queen Ptraci table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a large mahogany table in the Klatchian style known as Queen Ptraci, since the style became popular during her reign.  The legs and trim are intricately carved, while the surface is inset with curliques of gold and silver.  The edge of the table has been inset with flecks of ruby, fire diamond, garnet, jasper and beryl, intensifying the colour of the mahogany.  It looks like it would be fit to host a fairy banquet for hundreds of their folk, or at the very least a dinner party for six humans.  There is nothing on the Queen Ptraci table.

appraise_text:
The Queen Ptraci table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: beige textile covered sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large, three seat sofa.  The seats, wide arm rests and back are covered in a light beige fabric.  The seat is very soft and starting to sag a little towards the front in the centre.  It could make for some very comfortable sitting, or some very uncomfortable sleeping.  Unless you're four and a half foot tall or your idea of comfortable sleeping involves being folded up, that is.

appraise_text:
The beige textile covered sofa is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sai [build-a-bear]
description: This is a very small three-pronged sai.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The sai is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: crisp sugared crostolo
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
These bows of deep-fried pastry dough dusted with icing sugar tend to be eaten by the handful at Brindisian festivals.  They're light, addictive and very difficult to get tired of.


item_name: ebony bedside table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
The slender, hand-turned legs of this ebony table give it a deceptively fragile look.  The top has been varnished to a mirror finish.  There is nothing on the ebony bedside table.

appraise_text:
The ebony bedside table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: lighting bolt stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A lighting bolt.

appraise_text:
The lighting bolt stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: crinoid marble fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
The mantlepiece, surround and hearth of this fine fireplace are shaped from marble containing fossilised feathery marine creatures called crinoids.  Some of the fossils are extremely well-preserved and, as a result of skilful polishing by a master craftsperson, it is even possible to discern their individual, wispy feeding arms.  It possesses a standard fire pit constructed of heatproof brick.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the crinoid marble fireplace.

appraise_text:
The crinoid marble fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: black marble mantelpiece
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a black marble mantelpiece, a flat piece of stone designed to be placed above a fireplace to form a decorative shelf.  The shiny black marble features veins of white, providing a nice decorative contrast.  There is nothing on the black marble mantelpiece.

appraise_text:
The black marble mantelpiece is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 8 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: antique writing desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a lovely old writing desk, the surface covered with the faint scratch marks worn smooth by years of use. Made of deep stained maple wood, the desk features a small compartment under the writing surface in which you could store inks, brushes and quills.  A depression in the upper right hand corner looks designed to hold an ink well while you write. The writing surface is angled down towards the writer.  There is nothing on the antique writing desk.

appraise_text:
The antique writing desk is about five feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: preening moon dragon candle holder
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This statuette depicts a moon dragon, back arched, trying to groom that hard-to-reach spot in the middle of its spine.  It is designed in such a way that it can hold a candle in the hollow between its wings, supported by the crook of its neck.  Every scale on the dragon's body is individually detailed and the skill of the sculptor is such that you can see every muscle, clearly defined beneath its pewter skin.  Its eyes are cut, faceted garnets that catch the light and sparkle, its expression almost amused.  There is nothing on the preening moon dragon candle holder.

appraise_text:
The preening moon dragon candle holder is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pewter and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold less than one pound, or one item.


item_name: large [colour] bottle [random alcohol]
weight: about four pounds
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
This is a large [colour] glass bottle.  The large [colour] bottle is completely full with two pints of [alcohol].

appraise_text:
The large brown bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: secure [mineral] lockbox
weight: about a pound
special_find_note: Found in Copperhead mines.
description:
This is a small but very secure-looking lockbox carved from smooth [stone].  The stone is reinforced by sleek wires of now-rusty steel embedded into it, its heavy lock is inset so that it can't be cut, and it has a dreadful threat carved into its top next to an engraving of a grinning skull.  Its owner must have really wanted to keep whatever's inside out of anyone else's hands.  It appears to have something written on it.

appraise_text:
The secure [stone] lockbox is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of [stone] and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: jackal paw
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is the paw of a jackal, preserved with all its fur still on it.  The black pads are dried and shrivelled.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Medusa, and is intended to dissuade unwelcome suitors.

appraise_text:
The jackal paw is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of flesh.


item_name: Agatean Empire badge
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a badge emblazoned with the humorous motto "My wizard portalled to the Agatean Empire, and all I got was this lousy badge."  Its pin is broken to prevent you from wearing it.

appraise_text:
The Agatean Empire badge is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: majmar
weight: 9 4/9 lb
description:
This is a small charcoal brazier used for barbequing meat.  Colourful and traditionally Klatchian, it gives food a unique earthy taste and can be carried about with some effort.

appraise_text:
The majmar is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of clay and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: mcsweeney kilt [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
The kilt is a miniature version of McSweeney kilt, for those that support the McSweeney family (they get a cut from every kilt sold).

appraise_text:
The McSweeney kilt is about an inch long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: canopy bed
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large canopy bed.  It has a translucent white fabric canopy draped over a metal frame which is suspended by the tall posters at each of the bed's corners.

appraise_text:
The canopy bed is about six feet long and about six feet wide.  It is made of wood and metal and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: satin quilting blocks
description: This quilting block is made from pearl grey and vanilla checked satin.
appraise_text:
The pearl grey and vanilla checked satin quilting block is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of satin.


item_name: small radish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small, red radish, with thin white roots extending from the base.  A small eye-shaped mark on the top of the radish squints at you evilly.


item_name: ornamental temple axe
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
A slender two-and-a-half-foot shaft curves slightly with a small, ornamented axe head at the top.  The shaft and axe are both made from steel and inlaid with charming swirling snake-like patterns that have been polished up to shine in contrast with the darker steel surrounding.  A two-handed weapon, the temple axe derives its name not from being used in temples as such but for the fact that it is a beautiful weapon to wear while riding to the temple on Octedays.  It is also rather useless in real combat.

appraise_text:
The ornamental temple axe is about two and a half feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: heavy sword [build-a-bear]
description: This is a miniature two-handed sword. Perfect for slicing and dicing up enemies.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The two-handed sword is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [colour] wicker-work lamp
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a pleasant little lamp with a cream wicker-work shade, designed to hang on the wall above a desk or behind a sofa and throw light downwards in a helpful manner.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The cream wicker-work lamp is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or three items.


item_name: bottle of Jimkin Bearhugger's Old Selected Dragon's Blood Whiskey
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large brown glass bottle.  This is a bottle of Jimkin Bearhugger's Old Selected Dragon's Blood Whiskey, reputedly distilled for hours at a time.  The large brown bottle is about three-quarters full with one pint of whiskey.  It is about three-quarters full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large brown bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: chubby special door lock
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a clear packaging for a chubby special door lock.  The chubby special door lock package is completely full with a chubby special door lock and a small brass key.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The chubby special door lock package is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: bread upma
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a delicious piece of bread upma.  It's normal bread, but cooked with ginger, tomato, chillies and mustard seeds to provide a gorgeous combination that would bring tears to the eyes of even the most seasoned connoisseur of spicy food.


item_name: painting of a dragon
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a large sheet of white silk held in a frame of ebony.  Depicted on the silk is a large dragon with interchanging red and gold scales that is curled up and stares at the onlooker through half closed eyes.

appraise_text:
The painting of a dragon is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Sweet aroma of wildflowers in the summer sun
appraise_text: The small wheat yellow amphora is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: less than a pound
description:
Fashioned from quality clay and glazed a delicate shade of wheat yellow, this small amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in white.  A classical Ephebian design, it is quite charming in a certain epicene way.  Its ears are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is decorated with a simple, wavy black line and fastened to the amphora with a braided silk bond in pearly white.  It is almost full of wildflower perfume, which could be applied to someone.


item_name: personal disorganiser
weight: about three pounds
description:
The new models of this type of thing have just begun to be imported into Ankh-Morpork from the cities of Agatea.  They are expensive, classy devices which can run your life, predict the future and provide many adventuring hints.  Older models are more the sort of thing which rarely turn on, and when they do the imp speaks a weird Agatean dialect.  This is one of the older types, and the imp occasionally mutters something.

appraise_text:
The personal disorganiser is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of metal.


item_name: dreamcatcher
weight: about four pounds
description:
Dreamcatchers are a common part of Genuan life... they are generally hung above the cradle of a baby to promote pleasant and harmonious dreams.  They are constructed of a wooden frame with threads woven throughout into a net.  A small hole lies in the middle of the net, and a long cord tied with feathers and beads hangs from the bottom.  Much of the nature of voodoo lies in the communication with spirits, and dreams are considered to be messages from the spirit world... good spirits, being smart, will be able to pass through the centre of the dreamcatcher and bestow calm and happiness on the sleeper.  Bad spirits, being stupid, will be caught in the net and will disappear when morning's light touches them.

appraise_text:
The dreamcatcher is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: cocktail glass of fizz
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a nicely made cocktail glass, of the sort usually used to serve exotic coloured cocktails in pubs and restaurants.  The cocktail glass of fizz is almost full with six ounces of fizz.  It is almost full.

appraise_text:
The cocktail glass of fizz is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eight items, or about 1 gill.


item_name: large clay bowl
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a large clay bowl.  It looks big enough to prepare large amounts of food.  It bears the hallmark of the Djelibeybi Potter.

appraise_text:
The large clay bowl is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: plank
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a basic wooden plank, about eight feet long.  If you had somewhere you wanted to lay it, it looks like it could do the job admirably.  As much as you can admire a piece of wood, anyway.

appraise_text:
The plank is about eight feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Holy Blade of Soyin
weight: 6 1/9 lb
description:
This is a blade of fine balance and unbelievable sharpness.  It has an ivory hilt which shines with a brilliant whiteness and some strange writing on the blade itself.  The blade is bathed in a pale golden aura.  It softly pulses in dull octarine shades.

appraise_text:
The Holy Blade of Soyin is about four feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: large tankard of alcoholic lemonade
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a large tankard, of the sort usually used to serve beer and cider in pubs and restaurants when a pint glass isn't quite enough.  The large tankard of alcoholic lemonade is almost full with two pints of alcoholic lemonade.  It is almost full.

appraise_text:
The large tankard of alcoholic lemonade is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: black double bed
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large bed, around four and a half foot wide, made of solid oak planks.  The wood is dyed graphite black and lacquered, giving the bed a rather sombre look.  The headboard has a curved top edge, somewhat like a very wide bell curve, and is wider than the bed itself by a whole one foot on either side.  If you have matching nightstands, they'd go there.

appraise_text:
The black double bed is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: [adjective] [colour] deerhound
appraise_text: You appraise the [adjective] [colour] deerhound and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This [adjective] sight-hound has a powerful, gentle air and keen hazel eyes behind a long, grizzled muzzle.  Her harsh, wiry coat is a [colour] which doesn't deign to gleam, and her long tail curves almost to the ground.  Although her heavy jaws and muscled limbs are capable of bringing down a buck, she is a loving family animal.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her fur is silky and smooth.


item_name: birthday candle
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a jolly little pink candle, about two inches long, and ridiculously thin and flimsy.  It wouldn't stand a chance outside its natural habitat of little tin boxes under the kitchen sink.  It is not currently lit.  It looks as good as new.

appraise_text:
The birthday candle is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wax and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: brightly coloured blowout
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small tube made of carefully folded and curled colourful paper.  One end is solid and sticking out so that you could blow into it, resulting in a pleasant noise raising the party attitude of those around you, or possibly annoying them greatly.

appraise_text:
The brightly coloured blowout is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: statue of a marble youth with a lyre
weight: about ten pounds
description:
Cut from shining white marble this life-size youth stands proudly in all his glorious nakedness, holding a lyre in one hand, and raising the other in a greeting to you.  He is the very ideal of a young athletic man also trained within the musical arts, an idol whose glory other young men may aspire to and older men may dream of.

appraise_text:
The statue of a marble youth with a lyre is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bag of green olives
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a little brown paper bag capable of holding a lot of very small things.  It has been decorated with an ever typical simple Ephebian wave pattern.  The little paper bag is about half full with ten green olives.  It is open.


item_name: wooden mallet
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This is the sort of mallet that is used for general purposes.  It's a large squared off lump of wood on the end of a solid length of wood about a foot long.

appraise_text:
The wooden mallet is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: Queen Ptraci chest
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a chest in the Klatchian style known as Queen Ptraci since the style became popular during her reign.  The designer had obviously heard of traditional chests, of the sort buried by buccaneers on desert islands.  However, this chest has been made from decadant sandalwood, bound with straps of silver and gold and inlaid with pearls.  While it would look out of place on a pirate kings' ship, it would be perfect for a wealthy home.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The Queen Ptraci chest is about four and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: small water egg-glass
weight: about a pound
description:
This timepiece consists of two small glass chambers joined with a thin neck.  It is filled with blue coloured water.  Controlling the flow is achieved, as usually with hourglasses, by turning it.  The upper chamber is empty.

appraise_text:
The small hourglass is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: armchair
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a plain chair made out of various pieces of wood.  There are supports for the arms on each side, but other than that it looks very simple.

appraise_text:
The armchair is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: [adjective] [colour] toy poodle
appraise_text: You appraise the prissy fawn toy poodle and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This small creature seems to be a cross between a rat, a dog and something out of mardi-gras.  She seems to be very proud of her looks and walks with her head held high and tail even higher.    She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her fur is brushed into a perfect display of ordered curls.


item_name: black textile covered sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large three seat sofa, covered in a jet black fabric.  The back, arm rests and seat are easily one foot thick, most of that being the very soft stuffing.  It looks very comfortable, if you don't mind the colour.

appraise_text:
The black textile covered sofa is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: vodka-infused watermelon
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a whole, large watermelon that has had a hole cut out of the top.  It has then been fed with a rather intimidating quantity of vodka over a period of time.  The result is a refreshing treat with a hefty alcoholic payload.


item_name: antique pagoda armoire
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is an aged pagoda armoire.  Resembling a pagoda, it has the unlikely ability to look sturdy and strong at the same time as beautiful and delicate.  Its base, the largest part of the piece, is supported by four thin wooden feet.  Whilst the closet space inside gets narrower the higher up you go and is topped off with a flared roof panel whose corners curl upwards.  Two long doors sit at the front, proudly showing off their marble-like finish.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The antique pagoda armoire is about six and a half feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: playwright's handbook
description: This is a hefty volume bound in brown leather with gold lettering. It is closed.
weight: about a pound and a half
appraise_text:
The closed playwright's handbook is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: large iconograph album
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a handsome, leatherbound album to store memories in physical form.  All the pages have four little boxes drawn on them, to glue iconographs in.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed iconograph album is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: special quilting blocks
weight: less than a pound
description:
This block is as black as midnight yet the witch printed on it can be seen as clear as day.  She has several warts, the requisite pointy hat and is sitting on a broomstick, arms crossed.

appraise_text:
The midnight black quilting block is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is midnight black and is made of cotton.


item_name: embalming chit
weight: less than a pound
special_find_note: ae47bc4f84fa77b823c93f81723f36d29b8e4df0
description:
A chit purchased with a corpse to grant access to the embalming area downstairs in the embalming guild.

appraise_text:
The embalming chit is roughly a couple of inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of papyrus.


item_name: rosewood display cabinet
weight: about a hundred and fifty pounds
description:
This is a tall rosewood display cabinet that has a glass front to ensure that its contents are well protected.  Supported by various delicate geometric shelves on the inside, the outside is inlaid with mother of pearl that has been shaped into blossoming cherry trees.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The rosewood display cabinet is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: strawberry cone
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a delicious strawberry ice cream with chunks of fruit scattered through it.  It is two large scoops in a sugared cone.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: happy graduation card (closed)
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a card made from red, matte paper.  On the front is a picture of a black cloak covering a golden dagger.  It is closed.  There is some fine handwriting on the outside.

appraise_text:
The happy graduation card (closed) is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of card.


item_name: ornate warhamster
description:
This is a heavy, intricately-detailed and fundamentally useless piece of decor, an ornate warhamster.  Made of what feels like solid lead, this is a life-sized model of a hamster, wearing plate armour covered in runes and arcane squiggles.

appraise_text:
The ornate warhamster is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: small wooden shield
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a small, wooden shield.  It is substantially smaller than its medium and large counterparts, and it may not provide adequate protection.  However, it is much lighter.

appraise_text:
The small wooden shield is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: silver dragon chest of drawers
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This imposing chest of drawers redefines the word ornate.  Elegant scrollwork is traced out upon almost every smoothly arcing surface of the darkened wood, each of its rises emphasised by twisted silver threads.  A scene depicting two mighty dragons entwined has been intricately carved into the beautifully swirling colours of the marble top.  Three drawers reside within the frame, their gleaming surfaces reflecting and scattering the illumination cast off by the polished wood and silver filigree handles which have been lovingly set into the face of the chest.  This is truly a beautiful piece.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The silver dragon chest of drawers is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: jaded scarab wardrobe
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is a medium sized wardrobe.  It has two solid wood panel doors attached to hinges to give a large storage space.  It has been varnished once or twice, however this doesn't really show because it is so old.  It stands rather rigidly on four small feet.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The jaded scarab wardrobe is about seven feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 50 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: dried octopus
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small brown octopus, shrivelled and dried.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Krosopht, and is intended to protect against fraudulent dealings.

appraise_text:
The dried octopus is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of octopus.


item_name: sectioned ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 16 g
description:
This golden ring has a setting that has been divided into four equal sections.  Each segment has been covered by a slice of highly polished precious stone, symbolising four elements of Discworld: ruby for fire, sapphire for water, diamond for air, and tiger's eye for earth.  At the joining point of the four wedges, an inverted cone of octiron rises, topped by a flashing Ankh stone: the fifth element, surprise.  Etched in lines of glowing octarine: "Circulus Inruptus"


item_name: translucent white perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The translucent white perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: miniature coloured paintbox
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a really tiny paintbox, full of tiny quantities of coloured paints.  Presumably only somebody very small would find this useful.

appraise_text:
The miniature coloured paintbox is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: small beaker
description: A small glass beaker perfect for alchemical work.
weight: about half a pound
appraise_text:
The small beaker is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, nine items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: polished wooden carving
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a figurine of a large, lumpy goddess, carved from a dark, black wood.  The swollen stomach seems to suggest either pregnancy or a fondness for rich food.  The design itself is fairly primitive - there is no mouth, nose or any distinguishing features at all - but somebody has industriously polished the figure to a shine.

appraise_text:
The polished wooden carving is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: wearable snake
appraise_text: You appraise the small green snake and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a small, perfectly proportioned green snake, about seven inches in length.  Scales of different colours of green run down from its snub nose to taper at the end of its tail, showing a rainbow of jade and bright greens, through to darker hues looking almost black in colour.  Its forked red tongue darts out occasionally to sniff the air, and while it looks as though this snake used to be a prime hunter, it has grown used to being fed tidbits, as its belly looks comfortably fat.  It is in good shape.  It is standing.


item_name: [adjective] bloodhound
appraise_text: You appraise the mournful bloodhound and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a massive, powerful hound with a long muzzle, drooping ears, and loose, wrinkled skin.  His jowls and hanging skin give him a rather mournful, dignified expression.  Powerful shoulders allow the dog to work for long hours without a break, and his tail is carried in an elegant curve over his back.  He is in good shape.  He is standing.  His fur is silky and smooth.


item_name: cuckoo clock
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a small and simple, yet wonderfully cute, cuckoo clock.  This, and many more like it, are made every winter by the remarkable Clock Building Cuckoo who inhabit the hostile Ramtops.  They build them as part of their courtship ritual to provide protection from the harsh conditions.  Unfortunately they don't provide protection from keen horologists, who, on spotting their nests, kill the birds and put their homes up for show.  The wooden face shows it's round about twenty-five past one.

appraise_text:
The cuckoo clock is about two feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: solitaire peg game
description: A square thingy with a bunch of little pegs in it.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The solitaire peg game is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: poster of the Circle Sea area
weight: less than half a pound
description:
This poster contains a pen and ink sketch of the areas surrounding the Circle Sea.  Even though it doesn't show a lot of detail, it still provides an accurate overview of the area.  It looks perfectly suited to decorate a study or even a modern living room.

appraise_text:
The poster of the Circle Sea area is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: large [colour] bottle [bourbon]
weight: about four pounds
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
This is a large [colour] glass bottle.  The large [colour] bottle is completely full with two pints of bourbon.

appraise_text:
The large [colour] bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: set of diamond panel kitchen cupboards
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a set of kitchen cupboards made from reddish-coloured mahogany wood.  A set of diamond glazed doors can swing open so that items may be stored inside.  A simple design which still manages to radiate elegance, the lacquered front has inlaid panels of dark brown pollard oak.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The set of diamond panel kitchen cupboards is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: brown leather belt [build-a-bear]
description: This is a very small belt, presumably made from leather taken from tiny little cows.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The brown leather belt is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is brown and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: fluffy sugared zeppola
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Something like the Brindisian equivalent of doughnuts, the zeppola is basically a log of dough with a twist in the middle, deep-fried then coated with sugar.  Delight your arteries today!


item_name: brown-painted wooden bench
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is a rather ugly kitchen bench, painted an unfortunate shade of brown in an attempt to fit in with some awkward colour scheme.  Above it, and built into its structure, are a set of kitchen cupboards - sadly, done in the same shade.  There is nothing on the brown-painted wooden bench.

appraise_text:
The brown-painted wooden bench is about five and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: pickaxe
description: This is a normal pickaxe with a nice sharp point.
weight: 5 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The pickaxe is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: the third part of the Cohen Tapestry
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is the third panel of the Cohen tapestry, a four-panelled artwork that depicts the conquests of Cohen the Barbarian in a handwoven design.  The entire tapestry shows over 70 individual scenes and each panel stretches the length of a room.  This panel shows the Silver Hoarde engaged in a terrible battle with thousands of imperial soldiers.  Rincewind is standing among terracotta figures, directing them towards the battle.  At the end of the panel, the imperial soldiers are lying on the ground.  The whole piece is decorated with a border of little yellow butterflies.

appraise_text:
The third panel of the Cohen tapestry is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rough-hewn marble goddess wallpiece
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
A rough, circular slab of marble, this wall piece depicts a goddess wandering a rocky shoreline with the waves rising tall in the background under a clouded sky.  Her himation is whipped around her body in fashions that reveal all but the most interesting parts, and her long hair is blown back from her head and shoulders.

appraise_text:
The rough-hewn marble goddess wallpiece is about three and a half feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: coarse waxen candle
description: This is a coarse yellow waxen candle.
weight: less than a pound
special_find_note: 5710741cef8a18e9b180a35b94519bb264bd923d
appraise_text:
The coarse waxen candle is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: hot fudge sundae
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
A scoop of vanilla ice cream and one of chocolate ice cream with thick, hot fudge poured over it.  It has not yet begun to melt.


item_name: occult bronze medallion
appraise_text: It is made of bronze and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This heavy bronze medallion is studded with gems, forming pictures of the Moon in Her various phases.  In Her full and half aspects, you think you can detect a knowing smile.


item_name: box of minotaur eyes
description: This is a metal box of the type used to contain alchemical supplies. It is closed.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The small metal box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of iron and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: unfinished werewolf [build-a-bear]
description: This is a toy werewolf, or at least it will be when it's completed.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The unfinished toy werewolf is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of fur and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: set of liars dice
weight: less than a pound
description:
A bunch of little cups and lots and lots of dice.  So many dice you could fill a bathtub and have a little swim.

appraise_text:
The set of liars dice is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: teat pipette
weight: less than half a pound
description:
A small glass straw with a finger-like rubber tip on one end which is used to suck liquids up into the glass chamber.  The teat pipette can then add a liquid to a chemical experiment one drop at a time while a curious alchemist waits to see how many drops it takes for it to explode.

appraise_text:
The teat pipette is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass and rubber and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or less than a shot.


item_name: coromandel peacock wall plaque
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Instead of a flat surface, this wall screen is carved in coromandel, which creates palpable edges of each object in the picture.  Exhibiting their extravagantly colourful tails, a pair of peacocks have posted themselves proudly on a rock in front of a blooming peony.  In Agatean culture both the peony and peacock symbolise good luck and prosperity, and both can be brought to your home by displaying this work of art in it.

appraise_text:
The coromandel peacock wall plaque is about five feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: unfinished cat [build-a-bear]
description: This is a toy cat, or at least it will be when it's completed.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The unfinished toy cat is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of fur and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: Pet Goose
appraise_text: You appraise the young goose and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a cute young goose, with a rough yellow beak.  Her beady black eyes are set high on her head while smooth black and light brown feathers cover the length of her large body.  Her wrinkly webbed feet pad and stamp almost continually.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her feathers are silky and smooth.


item_name: set of cherry wood kitchen cupboards
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a set of wooden cupboards that attaches to the wall and often hangs in kitchens to store meal ingredients and dishes.  Made of the finest cut of cherry wood, the front doors of the cupboards have charming whorls and swirls in the grain of the wood, the beauty of which have only been brought out more by the thick layer of clear glossy lacquer which has been applied over it to protect the cupboards from everyday wear and tear.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The set of cherry wood kitchen cupboards is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: chatoyant [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of chatoyant [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of chatoyant [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: Assassins' Guild coat of arms stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  The Assassins' Guild coat of arms.

appraise_text:
The Assassins' Guild coat of arms stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: Queen Ptraci chest of drawers
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a chest of drawers in the Klatchian style known as Queen Ptraci since the style became popular during her reign.  They are made from white oak, with the fronts of each drawer being inlaid with images of the Djel made up of precious and semi-precious gems.  The handles are made from ivory, with gold fittings.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The Queen Ptraci chest of drawers is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: [adjective] golden retriever
appraise_text: You appraise the creamy golden retriever and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
The large creamy body of this floppy, good-natured animal is covered with long fine hair that drapes down over her flanks and elbows, like the soft ears that flop against her cheeks.  Behind the wide, panting mouth, liquid brown eyes regard the world benignly.  She is in good shape.  She is standing.  Her fur lies in smooth golden waves.


item_name: beaded seahorse
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small seahorse charm, worked from wire and tiny glass beads.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Petulia, and is intended to ward off headaches.

appraise_text:
The beaded seahorse is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: card album
appraise_text: The card album is about nine inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of cardboard.
description:
This is a thick book made of sturdy cardboard.  The only thing differentiating it from a standard book is the lack of proper pages, instead it seems to contain thick sheets of waxed paper with small windows cut into them, ideal for storing small, flat objects.  The front of the album also holds a small index, allowing its contents to be listed.  It holds five pages and is currently closed.


item_name: white gardenia
weight: less than half a pound
description:
This beautiful white gardenia emits a heavy perfume.  Being a symbol of purity and finality, the colour white is often associated with death in Agatean culture.

appraise_text:
The white gardenia is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is white and is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: tatami mat bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
Set upon four short square legs, this bedding platform is traditional, comfortable and stylish.  A smaller tatami mattress has been placed upon the low bedframe, stuffed with straw and only the finest contributions from the water buffalo community, it is covered with a white sheet and looks quite comfortable.

appraise_text:
The tatami mat bed is about two and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Llamedese knot pattern stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A Llamedese knot pattern.

appraise_text:
The Llamedese knot pattern stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: green slat bed
weight: about fifty pounds
description:
Stylish, narrow wood slats within the head and footboard are emphasized by the hand-painted spruce-green finish.  This single bed is crafted of silver ash and is very sturdy.

appraise_text:
The green slat bed is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: wooden double bed
weight: about fifty pounds
description:
This wooden bed is made of untreated wooden planks that have been nailed together and outfitted with a cheap mattress.  It is large enough to accommodate two people.

appraise_text:
The wooden double bed is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Death-In-The-Box
appraise_text: The Death-In-The-Box is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of silver.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a smooth, deep purple cube, about five inches along each side.  On each side is engraved in gleaming silver one of the Caroc symbols, and on the lid, a spiral winds inwards to a dizzying vanishing point.  A tarnished silver handle protrudes from the right-hand side.  The Death-In-The-Box is closed.


item_name: bottle of the scent of deadly nightshade musk
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of black crystal.  It is almost full of deadly nightshade musk perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
The black perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: wicker-work basket
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a tall, round wicker-work basket, of the sort that will sit upright on the floor or a bench and lend a casual ornamentation to the room.  It is neatly woven in a series of star and diamond patterns, dyed in rich chocolate and honey tones.

appraise_text:
The wicker-work basket is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of cane and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: red anaconda
appraise_text: You appraise the red anaconda and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a nice large red anaconda.  It looks like it would look really good draped around your neck.  It is in good shape.  It is lying.  It looks perfectly happy.


item_name: beaded swordfish
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small swordfish charm, worked from wire and tiny glass beads.  It has been dedicated hopefully to Reebox, and is intended to ward off headaches.

appraise_text:
The beaded swordfish is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: bottle of cinnamon perfume
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of orange crystal.  It is almost full of cinnamon perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
The orange perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: low wooden chair
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a rather small chair, with of a two foot by one foot board for a seat, resting on two smaller boards near each end.  It's not lacquered or painted, and generally looks pretty crude.  It stands under one foot tall from the ground.  You could sit on it, though it's arguable if you can really call it 'sitting'.  'Crouching' would be much closer to the truth.

appraise_text:
The low wooden chair is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: ancient Ephebian obolus
appraise_text: The ancient Ephebian obolus is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of silver.
weight: less than a pound
description:
The ancient Ephebian obolus is no longer legal tender.  It is very old indeed.  It shows a faded head on the reverse, and a rack of amphorae on the obverse.


item_name: pedestal table
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
Finished in warm antique hues, this pedestal table is a roughly triangular object which ends abruptly in a flat plateau which looks to be the ideal place for placing a few books or a reading lantern.  Rising along its height are a series of drawers with brass handles, which narrow in width with the table as it rises.  There is nothing on the pedestal table.

appraise_text:
The pedestal table is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: small iron safe
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a small iron safe.  It bears the logo of Joseph Thighbiter, a renowned safe maker.  It appears to feature one of his patented locks.  It is open.  It has one top drawer and one bottom drawer.

appraise_text:
The small iron safe is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of iron and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 6 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: cluster of sparkly apple green cushions
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is an enormous cluster of sparkly apple green coloured cushions.  As trendy as they are, the sparkles cause them to be rather scratchy against the skin. They have been arranged on the floor for sitting, lying and lounging.

appraise_text:
The cluster of sparkly apple green cushions is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: ancient Hong kimono
special_find_note: efc93431eaa2ab95b79d891b537fc40ce3788f7b
description:
Threadbare and worn, this ancient kimono is completely unwearable.  The obvious markings are of house Hong but the design is ancient and follows a different style than the one the family uses now.  It may be that this discarded robe belonged to the first Lord Hong.  If so, this kimono is truly a great treasure of the Hong family.


item_name: dull [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of dull [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of dull [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: tufted leather chair
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is a big, red leather chair of the type usually found in posh clubs.  The back and seat are tufted with brass buttons, and the legs are highly polished walnut.

appraise_text:
The tufted leather chair is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of leather and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: framed page from an illuminated manuscript
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a beautiful, exquisitely illuminated page from an old Llamedese manuscript, cut from the book and placed in a protective frame so it can be proudly displayed on a wall instead of mouldering in some dusty book in some remote abbey somewhere, far from the eyes of art critics, dinner party guests, and suchlike cognoscenti.  The text block itself is quite small, and done in an almost unreadably ornate looping black runic script, but the rest of the page is taken up by a huge curving initial letter "Q" and a fantastically coiled and intertwined scaffold of vines.  A tonsured monk leans from the loop of the "Q", hand upraised as if preaching from the book he carries, and a ragtag assortment of animals and birds peep from the vine trellis as if hanging on his every word.  Despite its obvious age, the colours are amazingly rich and glowing, seeming to lift the figures off the parchment.

appraise_text:
The framed page from an illuminated manuscript is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: translucent purple perfume bottle
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The translucent purple perfume bottle is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: pair of wizard shoes [build-a-bear]
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a miniature pair of wizard's shoes complete with pointed toes.  They shine and sparkle in the right light.

appraise_text:
The pair of wizard's shoes is about an inch long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is multi-coloured and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: white wooden chair
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a plain chair made out of sturdy white wood wood.  It's not very decorative, but it will last for some time, and stand around in an unassuming way in the kitchen.

appraise_text:
The white wooden chair is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: picture frame
weight: about a pound
description:
A simple rectangular picture frame made from pine.  It could be used to display an iconograph or some embroidery.

appraise_text:
The picture frame is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: wrought iron chair
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This chair is made of intricately detailed wrought iron that has been painted black.  The iron has been shaped into curling vines and dark flowers.

appraise_text:
The wrought iron chair is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: calligraphed fishbowl
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
Calligraphy is the soul of Agatean culture.  On this sixteen-inch fishbowl a Zing Dynasty poem is strikingly carved in and then gold leafed against an equally striking black background.  The black lacquer is hand-painted over porcelain to create a matte effect.  A matching solid wood stand holds the bowl's weight, and several goldfish swim quietly beneath the water it holds.

appraise_text:
The calligraphed fishbowl is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bag of almonds
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a little brown paper bag capable of holding a lot of very small things.  It has been decorated with an ever typical simple Ephebian wave pattern.  The little paper bag is almost empty except for ten almonds.  It is open.


item_name: bag of medium olives
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a little brown paper bag capable of holding a lot of very small things.  It has been decorated with an ever typical simple Ephebian wave pattern.  The little paper bag is about half full with ten medium green olives.  It is open.


item_name: steel pickaxe head
weight: about a pound and a half
special_find_note: Found in Copperhead mines.
description:
This is a curved, wickedly pointed pickaxe head made of tempered dwarf steel.  There's only one side of it - the other is missing, with a jagged break where it would be.  If you had some other pieces, you might be able to forge them back together.

appraise_text:
The steel pickaxe head is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of dwarf steel.


item_name: tall driftwood cabinet
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This large cabinet is made from bits of wood found along the banks of the Ankh river - and it shows.  The randomly-shaped planks fit together very badly, making the cabinet look like the piece of junk it fundamentally is.  However, although far from decorative, it looks like it can hold a lot of weight.  There is nothing on the tall driftwood cabinet.

appraise_text:
The tall driftwood cabinet is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 33 pounds, or about seventy items.


item_name: spinach plant
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a bright green edible spinach plant.  Packed full of vitamins, the rumour is that eating enough of these will make you really strong.


item_name: water buffalo custome
special_find_note: a4a93b269a40e4b3ea721d61580553c7be44c6ea
description:
This is a simple water buffalo costume.  It consists of a horned mask in the shape of a water buffalo's head, with a long grey cloak attached to cover the wearer's entire body.  A tail has been stuck on to the back of the cloak to complete the image.


item_name: dalmatian stone fireplace
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
Is this a fireplace, or is it a lovable, spotty canine?  Well, quite clearly it is a finely-crafted stone fireplace - even if the stone in question happens to be creamy white and studded with unevenly-sized black crystals that give it something of the appearance of its furry namesake.  The mantelpiece, surround and hearth are all formed from this same material, while the fire pit is made of heatproof bricks.  RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUFFF!  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the dalmatian stone fireplace.

appraise_text:
The dalmatian stone fireplace is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 13 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: painted terracotta statue of an aristocrat
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a an antique piece of painted pottery shaped to look like a lady in the fashion of the Tang court.  Her head held high her face moulded into the typical "regal" expression, her robes are decorated with original pale orange and green pigments and flecked with stars. 

appraise_text:
The painted terracotta statue of an aristocrat is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: #1 wire brush
description: This is a small brush with a two inch bristle head.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The #1 wire brush is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of iron.


item_name: glass praying mantis
weight: about a pound
special_find_note: c541919c446aff2eeb9a6a900b4055f9a1a20ac4
description:
Standing tall and proud, this not-so-life-sized ornament of a praying mantis looks truly stunning.  The glass that it is made from has been coloured a dark black to conceal the fact it is hollow.  Opening the head would reveal a small hiding place for very valuable things, like a big swig of rum, if it wasn't for the fact that it's been sealed shut.

appraise_text:
The glass praying mantis is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: marble sarcophagus
weight: about seven hundred pounds
description:
This is a fine marble sarcophagus fit for a king.  The lid shows the Pharaoh in full regalia with an impressive beard.  The interior is polished marble with no lining.  This lovely sarcophagus is just the thing to entomb your dear departed brother, friend, spouse or Pharaoh in.  You could probably heft a mummy into this coffin.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The marble sarcophagus is about eight and a half feet long and about four and a half feet wide.  It is white and is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 555 pounds, or about one hundred items.


item_name: wheel of buffalo cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Featuring a thin and leathery natural rind, this Auriental cheese has a fairly hard, pale yellow interior.  Unlike goat or ewe cheeses, buffalo cheese doesn't have strong bite, the gentle flavour carrying a hint of almonds.


item_name: Bottle of Namazake Sake
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a bottle of premium Namazake sake.  It has a square label stuck to it bearing the laughing panda logo of the Kou Ture Sake Emporium.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The Namazake bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Fishite robe [build-a-bear]
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a tiny aquamarine robe made especially for a worshipper of Fish.  It has small yellow fishes sewn in groups of five covering most of the sleeves and the material used to create it gives off a wet look.

appraise_text:
The aquamarine Fishite robe is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is aquamarine and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: ve ve
weight: about four pounds
description:
A Ve Ve is a symbol of a spirit... in essence a signature by which a spirit may be recognised.  They are often used to draw the attention of a particular spirit and focus its positive energy within a particular location.  This particular ve ve is a drawing in metal, sculpted from iron and bronze to form a three dimensional representation guaranteed to please nine out of ten visiting voodoo gods.

appraise_text:
The ve ve is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Unseen University coat of arms stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  The Unseen University coat of arms.

appraise_text:
The Unseen University coat of arms stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: womble doll
appraise_text: The womble doll is not very long and not very wide. It is made of fluff.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This doll represents a small furry womble.  She looks very cuddly but also a bit sad, as if she is still waiting for the return of her brooch.


item_name: splendid birdbath
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This tall birdbath stands on an elevated pedestal, cut in decorative patterns from splendid grey marble.  Standing above the bath itself is a life-size statue of a child of some four years of age, looking rather like he is contemplating filling the bath.  Not with a bucket, mind.

appraise_text:
The splendid birdbath is about sixteen feet long and about six and a half feet wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Auriental honey rice noodle salad
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a nicely lacquered black octagonal plate, the sort usually used to serve meals in restaurants.  You could probably eat from it, if it contained food.  On the black octagonal plate is an auriental honey rice noodle salad.

appraise_text:
The black octagonal plate is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 5 pounds.


item_name: braised pig face
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
Folklore has it that eating the face of a pig will enhance one's beauty and make one more intelligent than the common folks.  A local chef perfected the art of cooking pig faces.  The pig face is double boiled and braised in a medley of herbs and spices till it is soft and tender, yet slightly crunchy around the ears.  Worth a shot, if you believe in old wives' tales, besides, you have nothing to lose...


item_name: iron weapon rack
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This weapon rack is made up of a wrought iron frame and two hooks.  It is designed to display a decorative or prized weapon.  There is nothing on the iron weapon rack.

appraise_text:
The iron weapon rack is about four feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of iron and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 100 pounds, or one item.


item_name: rice paper pamphlet
appraise_text: The closed rice paper pamphlet is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than half a pound
description:
This pamphlet has been made from a large piece of rice paper that has simply been folded three times.  It is closed.


item_name: Fin and Tonic
weight: about a pound
description:
A small cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of fin and tonic.  It is almost completely full.


item_name: Allidin's lamp
weight: about a pound
description:
Well, it's not the real one obviously... but a very fine replica of the powerful lamp that once belonged to Creosote.  Tradition had it that his uncle Allidin used the magic of the lamp to build up the family fortune... by rubbing the lamp, the power of a genie is invoked.  Each of these lamps is replicated, right down to the genie inside.

appraise_text:
The Allidin's lamp is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: some saffron
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a a small pile of deep orangey-red saffron threads, about one pinch.  A brilliantly mauve flower with vivid red stigmata.  Gathering the stigmata is difficult and time-consuming, and saffron is known as "red gold" among traders.


item_name: pink seashell
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a pretty pink seashell.  It is mostly white, but pink dots are arranged throughout the ridges on the outer side as well as through the smooth part of the inner surface.

appraise_text:
The pink seashell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: lion's head ring
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 8 g
description:
This silver ring has been carved into the head of a lion, with two small chips of lapis lazuli for the eyes.


item_name: terracotta statue of a foreign demon
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a very, very ancient piece of art; so old that its crafter has long since passed on into oblivion.  Depicting a being with seven arms, each one holding a heart tightly in its grasp, the being looks a little bit too bloodthirsty to be anything you'd find Agateans worshipping.  Perhaps it's been imported from somewhere.

appraise_text:
The terracotta statue of a foreign demon is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: bronze ring
appraise_text: It is made of bronze and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
description:
This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from bronze.  It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.


item_name: Milords and Miladies shopping bag
weight: less than a pound
special_find_note: 4bdcf399913a4a773d299cee7b4a95300dbd76b9
description:
A sturdy black paper bag with reinforced handles.  It has the famous intertwined double "M" printed by hand in brassy metallic ink.  Unfortunately the ink tends to smear occasionally, because the owners insisted on a rather large discount from the printers.

appraise_text:
The Milords and Miladies shopping bag is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 8 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: hot chicken sandwich
description:
The chicken on this sandwich is of the green sort.  It smells funny, moves funny and even sounds a bit funny.  The only nice thing to say about this sandwich is that it is indeed hot.  It should probably be eaten with caution, though.


item_name: scary Hat doll
appraise_text: The scary Hat doll is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide. It is made of feathers.
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a cruel-looking vulture, with a sharp beak and grey feathers.  Its bare neck is covered with what appear to be either actual flecks of carrion or some very realistic stitching.


item_name: grinning skull stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A grinning skull.

appraise_text:
The grinning skull stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: mother of pearl inlaid arabesque table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This large rectangular wooden table is quite heavy and austere looking.  Consisting of a dour frame connected by waffled lattice panelling which has been inlaid with large square tiles of mother of pearl, it would complete the most proper of living rooms and make a pleasant accompaniment to most homes.  There is nothing on the mother of pearl inlaid arabesque table.

appraise_text:
The mother of pearl inlaid arabesque table is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: blue stream firework
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The blue stream firework is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Anchovy Swirl
weight: about a pound
description:
A short, fat cocktail glass.  The cocktail glass is almost completely full with seven ounces of swirly red cocktail.  It is almost completely full.


item_name: nutmeg
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a large round nut from a nutmeg tree.  It could probably be ground into tasty powder for flavouring food.


item_name: painting of a cluster of peonies
weight: about four pounds
description:
There is an old Agatean saying that goes something like, 'Although the peony is beautiful, it still needs the support and complement of its green leaves'.  This particular watercolour, titled 'Flowering Wealth and Distinction', demonstrates this saying perfectly.  Four fantastic peonies, pale pink to magenta in colour, have been dotted on the fabric backing.  They would, however, be very little to look at without the wealth of greenery that surrounds and supports them.

appraise_text:
The painting of a cluster of peonies is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: four leaf clover stick-on applique
weight: about a pound
description:
This is an applique designed to be applied to walls as a decoration.  It has the following design on it:  A four leaf clover.

appraise_text:
The four leaf clover stick-on applique is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of cardboard.


item_name: blue picture frame
weight: about a pound
description:
Made from pine and painted a nice blue, this picture frame would provide a nice surround to an iconograph or some embroidery.

appraise_text:
The blue picture frame is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is blue and is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: large wood oven
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
A tastefully decorated door bears the name 'Wun Chi Puffin' and a temperature gauge monitors the large wood oven.  Resting on a smooth base, this range has a thirty-two inch cook surface and carries six burners and a water reservoir.  A top mounted nickel trimmed shelf on the back of the stove is complemented by dual warming shelves.  Subtle and sophisticated, this stovetop would complement most tasteful homes.  The hearth is blackened with ashes and old embers.  There is nothing on the large wood oven.

appraise_text:
The large wood oven is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: tub of [colour] dye
description: A white tub of [colour] dye for poodles.
weight: about a pound
appraise_text:
The tub of [colour] dye is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is [colour] and is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: chalky [scent] broom polish
description: A small ceramic jar of off-white waxy stuff. It is full of chalky [scent] broom polish.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The jar of chalky [scent] broom polish is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of clay.


item_name: some bryony
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small pile of bryony, about one stalk.  A showy plant, with dark violet heart shaped leaves, and small, loosely bunched greenish-white flowers.


item_name: snow globe
weight: less than a pound
description:
The main purpose of this glass orb, shaped like a ball cut in two, is probably just to be pretty.  It is very good at that, mind.  Inside the orb is a womble, looking quite desperate, placed in what appears to be a foyer.  Some white stuff is lying at the bottom of the orb.

appraise_text:
The snow globe is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: statue of Khuft
weight: about six pounds
description:
This is a small statue of Khuft, the founder of Djelibeybi.  He has been very fancifully depicted as a mighty warrior wearing richly detailed armour and carrying a sceptre.

appraise_text:
The statue of Khuft is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: blue and white Hong vase
weight: about seventy pounds
description:
This is an enormous vase, crafted many years ago by an artisan who so generously donated his time and efforts to the betterment of the Hong Family treasury.  Tall and ovular, the vase is a creamy white lacquer which has been splashed here and there with cobalt blue paint.

appraise_text:
The blue and white Hong vase is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rose-cushioned pale sofa
weight: about forty pounds
description:
Elegant and elongated, this is a piece of art as much as it is furniture.  Its pale, fine-grained wooden frame rises in a gentle curve along the back of the chair to one end, lower towards the other, curling around at either end towards the armrests.  The cushions are set into the frame, and covered with rose-coloured velvet.

appraise_text:
The rose-cushioned pale sofa is about seventeen and a half feet long and about seven and a half feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: Strawberry fields in a handy amphora
appraise_text: The small pale pink amphora is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of clay.
weight: less than a pound
description:
Fashioned from quality clay and glazed a delicate shade of pale pink, this small amphora has been carefully painted with silhouettes of competing athletes in white.  A classical Ephebian design, it is quite charming in a certain epicene way.  Its ears are tall and elegant, arching to a slightly pointy angle to allow easy stacking and handling.  The stopper is decorated with a simple, wavy black line and fastened to the amphora with a braided silk bond in pearly white.  It is almost full of strawberry perfume, which could be applied to someone.


item_name: jade Pishe figurine
weight: about a pound
description:
Graceful curves and rounded edges form a beautiful likeness of Pishe, Goddess of Slight Showers.  The diminutive figurine is a deep green jade, entwined with a soft cream colour of the same material.

appraise_text:
The jade Pishe figurine is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: holy symbol
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small [material] globe, about the size of a billiard ball, scribed deeply with several circles.  On the near face a runic glyph representing [God] has been cut into the surface and inlaid with [wood].

appraise_text:
The holy symbol is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of [material].


item_name: small iconograph album
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a handsome, leatherbound album to store memories in physical form.  All the pages have two little boxes drawn on them, to glue iconographs in.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed iconograph album is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: slippery Jill
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small bowl of soup, the main ingredient of which appears to be lard.  It is pink, as opposed to Slippery Jack, the other local delicacy, which is blue.  The reasons for this are lost in the mists of time, and are probably best left there.


