# items

item_name: small block of frankincense incense
weight: 2 g
description:
This is a small block of holy incense that will purify the area in preparation for a religious ritual if it is burnt.

appraise_text:
The small block of frankincense incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: small block of ylang ylang incense
weight: 2 g
description:
This is a small block of holy incense that will purify the area in preparation for a religious ritual if it is burnt.

appraise_text:
The small block of ylang ylang incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: small block of sandalwood incense
weight: 2 g
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of sandalwood.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of sandalwood incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: small block of vanilla incense
weight: 2 g
description:
This small block of incense has been carefully treated and scented so that when it burns, it will have the aroma of vanilla.  It is not currently lit.  It is unmarred and unburned.

appraise_text:
The small block of vanilla incense is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of resin and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: ball of red mud
description: This is a big ball of red mud that looks perfect for hurling at someone's head.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The ball of red mud is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: ball of gloppy brown mud
description: This is a big gloppy ball of brown mud that looks perfect for hurling at someone's head.
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The ball of gloppy brown mud is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: small incense burner
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a small bowl designed for burning incense in.  It has a delicate pattern of blue flowers painted onto it.

appraise_text:
The small incense burner is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: ball of golden yellow mud
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a big ball of golden yellow mud that looks like it was gathered from the shoreline along Tang Bay.  It looks perfect for chucking at someone's head for a laugh.

appraise_text:
The ball of golden yellow mud is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: purple sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty purple sea-shell.  It is fan-shaped and has ridges which run from the round edge to the base of the shell.  It is covered in a pale purple and white wavy pattern.

appraise_text:
The purple sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: pink sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty pink sea-shell.  It is fan-shaped and has ridges which run from the round edge to the base of the shell.  It is covered in a pale pink and white wavy pattern.

appraise_text:
The pink sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: rainbow-coloured sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty rainbow-coloured sea-shell.  It has a pearly gleam all over, and looks very special.  As it catches the light, a myriad of iridescent colours can be seen.

appraise_text:
The rainbow-coloured sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: orange sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty orange sea-shell.  It is fan-shaped and has ridges which run from the round edge to the base of the shell.  It is covered in a pale orange and white wavy pattern.

appraise_text:
The orange sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: cyan sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty cyan sea-shell.  It is fan-shaped and has ridges which run from the round edge to the base of the shell.  It is covered in a pale cyan and white wavy pattern.

appraise_text:
The cyan sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: blue sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty blue sea-shell.  It is fan-shaped and has ridges which run from the round edge to the base of the shell.  It is covered in a pale blue and white wavy pattern.

appraise_text:
The blue sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: grey sea-shell
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pretty grey sea-shell.  It is fan-shaped and has ridges which run from the round edge to the base of the shell.  It is covered in a pale grey and white wavy pattern.

appraise_text:
The grey sea-shell is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of shell.


item_name: Poo-Bah Mirror
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This small mirror is used not for admiring oneself, but to direct and channel Evil Forces away from one's home.  These mirrors are one of the main reasons the wizards of the Disc view the Ancient Art of Fung Shooey with distrust and suspicion, for not only do they have 7+1 sides but the average wizard couldn't see more than the tip of his nose in one.

appraise_text:
The Poo-Bah Mirror is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Won Lot Luck gourd
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a small gourd, basically two bulges connected by a thin neck.  The whole assemblage is painted with characters meant to bring the owner luck, and it has a bright red tassel tied on at the neck.  You can hear something rattling inside, like beads.  Perhaps you could shake it for luck?

appraise_text:
The Won Lot Luck gourd is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: ribbon of emperors' wealth
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a bright yellow ribbon, made of satin.  It has several shiny coins sewn into it in a column from top to bottom.  Each coin bears the face of a past Emperor, and on the whole, it is meant to bring you wealth and luck in matters relating to money.

appraise_text:
The ribbon of emperors' wealth is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silk.


item_name: Dragon With Pearl figurine
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small, beautifully crafted dragon figurine, said to bring luck and fortune.  This dragon has its own platform, and will grace your table or desk with its vivacious presence.  It is holding the famous Pearl of Potentiality, which is very symbolic of... well... potential and, erm, stuff.

appraise_text:
The Dragon With Pearl figurine is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Prosperity Fish
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a large, heavy figurine of an interesting Fish.  It seems to be cast in bronze, with coins for scales.  It is resting on a wave of water, which rises from a base also made of coins.  This Fish is meant to bring good fortune in monetary dealings to its holder.

appraise_text:
The Prosperity Fish is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: Energy Egg
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This Egg is a beautiful, bright, red colour, and has intricate designs carved all along its wooden shell.  Its primary purpose is to remove the negative forces from the surrounding area, so that only positive energies remain.  Perhaps there is some way you could enhance the positive powers of this talisman?

appraise_text:
The Energy Egg is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: special chicken log
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a special chicken log, which legend has it can be fed to special chickens to encourage them to lay the fabled Egg of Life.  It is pale green, crunchy, and bears more than a passing resemblance to celery.

appraise_text:
The special chicken log is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of celery.


item_name: reflective ba ka rickshaw decal
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A stroke of genius, this decal has been created from a shiny reflective material, designed to protect your rickshaw from evil demons when it barrels through crowded intersections.  Ironically, it's more likely that the blinding sheen of the red decal causes more accidents than it prevents.  There is a small matte oval in the centre where you can write words of luck and prosperity.

appraise_text:
The reflective ba ka rickshaw decal is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: enormous plume of rushes
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This five-foot tall spray of rushes is meant to be worn on the back, as is shown by the two straps that go over your arms.  It extends high over the mourner's head and would be an impressive sight in a long procession.

appraise_text:
The enormous plume of rushes is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of rushes and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: ivory dagger
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful dagger carved out of ivory, and is a perfect example of form over function.  The hilt is wrapped in elephant skin and embossed with gold leaf forming an intricate pattern.  The blade of the dagger is engraved with the image of an ibis.  While it is obviously designed for looks, as ivory doesn't exactly hold the best edge, you still wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of this weapon.

appraise_text:
The ivory dagger is about nine inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of ivory and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: bright pink piggy swim ring
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a swim ring, designed to be worn around the waist while inflated to aid in floatation.  It sports a giant, winking, pig's head, guaranteed to give unusual nightmares to any young swimmer for weeks after seeing someone floating around in this.  A valve on the rump allows for inflating or deflating the ring, depending on whether the wearer wants to float or just make a fashion statement.  It is flat and wrinkled.  The bright pink piggy swim ring just slips off of your waist, as it's not inflated.

appraise_text:
The bright pink piggy swim ring is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of rubber.


item_name: pair of midnight rain swimming trunks
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
These sleek grey-black trunks fit closely to the wearer's hips, exuding a sense of style and speed.  They have been embroidered across their surface with a scattering of darkly glimmering raindrops.

appraise_text:
The pair of midnight rain swimming trunks is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is grey-black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: mirrored breastplate
weight: 7 2/9 lb
description:
This brightly polished disc of thin steel has been strapped together with long pieces of leather.  When worn around the chest, this light piece of armour would probably provide decent protection.  The blinding mirror shine probably wards off blood-sucking vampire ghosts, as well.

appraise_text:
The mirrored breastplate is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be worn as armour.


item_name: steel urumi
weight: 1 7/9 lb
description:
This dangerous-looking weapon comprises a four feet long, flexible length of razor-sharp steel and simple hilt on either side of a straight crossbar.  The flexibility of the blade means that it would be capable of launching whip-like slashing attacks, although it would take a considerable amount of skill to control it such that one does not lose an eye or an ear on the backswing.  It appears to be sufficiently flexible to wear as a belt when not in use.

appraise_text:
The steel urumi is about four feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of watered steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: twin-bladed steel urumi
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This dangerous-looking weapon comprises two four feet long, flexible lengths of razor-sharp steel attached to a simple hilt.  The flexibility of the blade is such that it would be capable of launching whip-like slashing attacks, although the twin blades would make its movement on the backswing extremely unpredictable.  It appears to be sufficiently flexible to wear as a belt when not in use.

appraise_text:
The twin-bladed steel urumi is about three and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of watered steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc. 


item_name: seven-bladed steel urumi
weight: 2 8/9 lb
description:
This weapon comprises seven four feet long thin steel blades attached to a hilt and would probably have a greater resemblance to a nest of writhing snakes than a weapon when wielded in combat.  Although it would take a great deal of skill to avoid ripping your own face off on the backswing, it also looks capable of taking out an entire room of your worst enemies simultaneously.

appraise_text:
The seven-bladed steel urumi is about four feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of watered steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: ratty wooden cage
weight: 11 1/9 lb
description:
This is a large, ratty wooden cage, completed by a thick profusion of dirty white feathers.  There is a small door at the front of the cage which rests on rusty hinges.  Inside the cage is a clucking chicken.

appraise_text:
The ratty wooden cage is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: painting of Brown Beer
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This picture is a print of a painting by Loseshire of "Brown Beer", the much-loved steeplechase winner.  It shows the horse in mid-air as he leaps over an impossibly large obstacle.

appraise_text:
The painting of Brown Beer is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: genuine horseshoe
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a genuine horseshoe that would protect a genuine horse's hooves from wear and tear.  Alternatively, you could keep it as a good luck charm.

appraise_text:
The genuine horseshoe is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: devotional painting of Gapp
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Gapp, the god of fine clothing.  He is shown in this painting as an old tailor sitting cross-legged with a bolt of cloth in His lap, his long-fingered hands holding a needle in one hand and a measuring tape in the other.  His eyes have no pupils, but instead show a pattern of fine red and green paisley.  This is just the painting to inspire the creation of new designs, colour combinations, and fashionable accessories.  The border of the painting is lined with silk ribbons and glittering sequins of many colours.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Gapp is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: blackboard
weight: 16lb
description:
The residue of faded chalk-dust and long forgotten doodles lies heavily on the blackboard.  The grain of the board is worn and slightly mottled with age, hinting at a long and dignified history of classrooms and university lecterns.  Or perhaps just hinting at cheap wood and bad upkeep.

appraise_text:
The blackboard is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is black and is made of slate and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: devotional painting of Hat
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Hat, the vulture-headed god of unexpected guests.  Hat is shown standing next to a fold-out sofa, His hands clutched in reverence and His vulture head bent in prayer.  This is just the painting to inspire wicked new ways of dealing with unexpected guests.  The border of the painting is lined with miniature toothbrushes and tiny towels.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Hat is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: linen-bound book
weight: between 1 8/9 lb and 2lb
description:
Square and solid, of a size to fit nicely in the hand, this book has been bound entirely in stiffened Llamedese linen, gleaming with the unsullied purity of fresh creamy-white cloth.  A decorative border of silver-grey knotwork has been embroidered along the edges of the covers, and more adorns the spine, leaving only a narrow panel for a title.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed linen-bound book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Akina TR-10 dual-action camera
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a shiny steel box, with a space to attach a lens at the front.  You can see a small imp inside, with a paintbrush and easel.  A dial on the top of the box seems to be for setting the shutter speed.  A small button sits on top of the box, looking ominous.

appraise_text:
The Akina TR-10 dual-action camera is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: devotional painting of Sandelfon
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Sandelfon, the god of corridors.  Sandelfon is shown purely in a metaphorical sense in this painting, as it is entirely filled with eye-bending depictions of corridors.  The corridors, painted in stark black, white, and grey, twist and turn into each other in a way that makes your eyes bleed.  This is just the painting to inspire twisty thoughts of winding corridors and the wonders they hold to the truly devout.  The border of the painting is lined with small white and black tiles.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Sandelfon is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: pair of plain blue trousers
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of simple blue trousers.  They're thoroughly functional and not even remotely fashionable... obviously they have been designed with utility and not aesthetics in mind.  The pair of plain blue trousers has one small pocket.

appraise_text:
The pair of plain blue trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is blue and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or six items.


item_name: sheet of linen paper
appraise_text: The sheet of linen paper is about a foot long and about nine inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 9 g
description:
Thick and creamy, with a delicious texture and a faint purple tinge, this paper is ideal for adding a subtle touch of class to your writing.


item_name: sheet of [colour] glittery paper
weight: 10 g
description:
This thick, rough-textured paper, with green glitter impregnated across the surface, is ideal for adding a bright sparkly flavour to your writing.

appraise_text:
The sheet of green glittery paper is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: elegant white writing box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Just the right size for a pen and a few sheets of paper, with a neat compartment for an inkwell in one corner, the lid of this delicate, pretty box is adorned with a scattering of glittering silver snowflakes.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The elegant white writing box is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or ten items.


item_name: antique tin ink well
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a thin shell of tin, pressed into the shape of a giant spider and enamelled in nearly lifelike shades.  It's clearly quite old, and some of the enamel is flaking away, but it's a much-loved antique and moreover won't let ink drip on the desk.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The antique tin ink well is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of tin and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: binder
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
A wooden binder with three metal rings designed to store papers.  It has an index on the inside cover that could be used to list what is stored within it.  It is open and empty.

appraise_text:
The binder is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: hand-painted Quirmian writing box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Just the right size for a pen and a few sheets of paper, with a neat compartment for an inkwell in one corner, this sturdy wooden box has been painted with a summer meadow strewn with wildflowers.  A large, prosperous-looking family sit picnicking around a blue and white cloth covered with all manner of good things, from fresh country bread to a whole ham and a dozen bottles of strong red wine.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The hand-painted Quirmian writing box is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or ten items.


item_name: roll of wallpaper
description: This is a large roll of wallpaper, probably enough to cover a single wall completely.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The roll of wallpaper is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: sheet of cute [animal] writing paper
weight: between 4 g and 5 g
description:
This is a nice sheet of writing paper, with a cheerful picture of a fox in the lower right-hand corner.

appraise_text:
The sheet of cute fox writing paper is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: marbling comb
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This comb has a series of prongs on one side and a single prong on the other.  It is ideal for creating patterns while marbling fabric or paper.

appraise_text:
The marbling comb is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of metal and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: metal marbling tray
weight: 1lb
description:
This metal marbling tray is not very deep as it only needs to hold a few inches of water but it is quite large to allow all sorts of papers and cloths to be dyed in it.

appraise_text:
The metal marbling tray is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of metal and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: glistening black slug swim ring
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a swim ring, designed to be worn around the waist while inflated to aid in floatation.  It sports a giant, glistening black slug's head, guaranteed to scatter any nearby hygiene-minded swimmers.  A valve on the tail end allows for inflating or deflating the ring, depending on whether the wearer wants to float or just make a fashion statement.  It is flat and wrinkled.  The glistening black slug swim ring just slips off of your waist, as it's not inflated.

appraise_text:
The glistening black slug swim ring is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of rubber.


item_name: crimson and ruby carpetbag
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
In all its ladylike simplicity, this bag is comprised of a square of crimson carpet with a woven pattern of ruby peonies folded up and sewn together in the sides.  Sensible, yet elegant, it has a woven shoulder strap to allow it to be worn over one shoulder while going about one's business.  It is small enough to not be burdensome, and its closing mechanism is crafted from wood wrapped in black kidskin leather.  The crimson and ruby carpetbag has one main pocket.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The crimson and ruby carpetbag is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is crimson and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 27 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: woollen cloth
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small yellow coloured cloth, with red stitching around the border.  In the bottom corner, there is a logo of a gem-studded ring, also stitched with red cotton.  The cloth is a bit woolly and fluffy, and looks like it would be good for wiping and scrubbing things with.  Sparks and flecks of octarine coloured particles are dotted all over the cloth.

appraise_text:
The woollen cloth is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of kegutsu boots
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
Kegutsu boots aren't really armour, but they sure do look snazzy over a nice pair of metal socks.  All a-tassled and made from genuine water buffalo skin, these smooth boots allow a warrior to dress up their combat footgear and make it fit into the rest of their armoured wardrobe.  They also add a bit of toughness to the outer layer of foot armour.  This pair has red, white and green corded stitching and tassles.

appraise_text:
The pair of kegutsu boots is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: pair of corded sode
weight: 3 7/9 lb
description:
This sode is made of two rectangular pieces of iron scale armour which sit on the wearer's shoulders to protect them from damage.  Brightly coloured cords have been laced across the scale to make each piece an individual work.  This sode has orange, white and blue threads stitched across it.  Given its weight, the sode is quite cumbersome to wear, but its aesthetic value more than compensates.

appraise_text:
The pair of corded sode is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: moon tooth sabre
weight: 2 3/9 lb
description:
The moon tooth sabre is an extremely sharp weapon that resembles a cymbal cut in half.  It is normally used in conjunction with another moon tooth sabre.

appraise_text:
The moon tooth sabre is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: devotional painting of Fish
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Fish, the god of fishermen.  Fish is shown as a brawny, middle-aged fisherman, standing knee-deep in violent ocean waters, a massive fishing rod clutched in His weathered hands.  Clad in yellow rubber waders, leather breeches, a plaid flannel shirt, a yellow rubber slicker, and a yellow rubber fishing hat (complete with exotic lures), Fish is shown reeling in a huge, thrashing silver trout.  This is just the picture to inspire the ambitious fisherman.  The border of the painting is lined with miniature wooden fish of different species.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Fish is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: illuminated breviary
weight: 1lb
description:
Hand-scribed and gorgeously illuminated by the monks of St Orotund's Abbey, near Pseudopolis, this beautiful volume is a work of art in its own right as well as an expression of devotion to [God].  The covers are made from sturdy leather, secured with brass clasps.  "Prayers and rites of [God]" is written on the front.  It contains the prayer: Glory be unto [God].

appraise_text:
The illuminated breviary is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of vellum.


item_name: sturdy pocketbook
weight: between 2 1/9 lb and 2 2/9 lb
description:
Simple and practical, this solid little pocketbook has a thick, waterproof leather binding and a press-stud to hold it closed.  The front is embossed with an elegant maze design.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed sturdy pocketbook is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: devotional painting of Pishe
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Pishe, the goddess of slight showers.  Pishe is shown standing beneath a raining cloud, Her arms upraised, and a short branch in one of Her hands.  She is painted in delicate grey shades, Her silvery robes fastened by a simple brooch.  This is just the painting to inspire quiet, reflective, and slightly damp meditation.  The border of the painting is lined with raindrop-shaped crystal beads.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Pishe is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: scale-embossed book
weight: between 1 7/9 lb and 1 8/9 lb
description:
Square and solid, of a size to fit nicely in the hand, this book has been bound entirely in shimmering leather, embossed with a pattern of fish scales.  The front cover has been embossed with a creel and fishing pole.  A silver clasp in the shape of a fishing hook adorns the side.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed scale-embossed book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: stormy petrel quill
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Relatively short and slim, but sturdy and smooth, this is a deep brown flight feather highlighted with running, shifting strands of subtle blue-green iridescence like the lights of the ocean depths.  A nomad of the skies over water, the stormy petrel soars and skims for years at a time, never feeling the pull of the shore.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The stormy petrel quill is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of feather and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: speckled fluffy book
weight: between 2lb and 2 1/9 lb
description:
Square and solid, of a size to fit nicely in the hand, this book has been bound in something that looks... for all the world like felted pocket lint.  The speckled, multicoloured cover is bordered with a thicker row of fluff around the edges, lending it an extra-cushiony look.  An attached cord of braided yarn with small fluffy tassels at the end can be tied to hold the book closed when not in use.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed speckled fluffy book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: silver-blue silk book
weight: between 1 7/9 lb and 1 8/9 lb
description:
Square and solid, of a size to fit nicely in the hand, this book has been bound in a pale silvery blue silk that shimmers like sunlight on water.  A thin band of silver inset with clear cabochon crystals in the shape of rain droplets borders the edge of the cover.  A beautifully worked catch, shaped like a woman's delicate hand, holds the book shut when closed.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed silver-blue silk book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: pond scum
description: This is a medium pile of pond scum, about one cupful. It's green and slimy and smells quite a bit.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
One cupful of pond scum is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: crushed tin
appraise_text: The crushed tin is about three inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of tin.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This flattened tin is just smaller than the palm of your hand.  Whoever crushed it did a creditable job, as it's now no more then a fat disc of irregular metal.  It smells of beer.


item_name: bluebell writing box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Just the right size for a pen and a few sheets of paper, with a neat compartment for an inkwell in one corner, this delicate, pretty cream-coloured box is adorned with dozens of tiny bluebells.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The bluebell writing box is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or ten items.


item_name: sheet of deckle-edged paper
weight: 9 g
description:
Thick and creamy, with a smooth texture and a soft raindrop grey wash around the neat deckled edges, this paper is ideal for adding a subtle touch of elegance and precision to your writing.

appraise_text:
The sheet of deckle-edged paper is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: pair of kote
weight: 5lb
description:
These kote enclose the arms in splinted armour, which is fastened securely to a fabric underlay.  The [material] splints on this kote are narrowly cut and have been sewn close together.

appraise_text:
The pair of kote is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of [material] and could be worn as armour.


item_name: moose antler
weight: 10lb
description:
Large, long and heavy, the moose antler is, well, large, long and heavy.  But on top of that, it's furry, pointy and looks like you could give someone a good thumping with it.  And it looks like some of those proddy bits on the antler are a bit pointy, too.  The antler is pretty hairy, and dark brown in colour.

appraise_text:
The moose antler is about four feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of bone and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: some smuggler's lingerie
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Clingy, extremely comfortable, and flattering no matter who's wearing it, this practical yet appealing set of black silk lingerie is perfect for wearing underneath the rest of a stylish smuggler's outfit (and not, for example, lying around seductively on the deck of a heaving ship or anything ridiculous like that). Yet, it carries the scent of sea salt like a memory. Why?

appraise_text:
Some smuggler's lingerie is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sea serpent fang
weight: 1 8/9 lb
description:
This is, essentially, the three-foot-long sharpened fang of a sea serpent on a hilt.  Hard as steel and a quarter the weight, these weapons are traditionally wielded by sea serpents against sailors; clearly, its former owner bit off a little more than it could chew.  The hooked curve that once prevented prey from escaping makes this sword an excellent slashing weapon, while the groove that used to hold venom still runs down the middle of the blade, stained faintly black.  Its hilt is utilitarian, plain steel wrapped in black silk with a curved crossguard.

appraise_text:
The sea serpent fang is about three feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of sea serpent enamel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: Genua Highschool tie
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
The school tie of Genua Highschool is a fairly uninteresting design.  A light blue background is striped with yellow and bordered with red all the way along.  There is no sign of a school crest or motto... the design is purely colour-based.

appraise_text:
The Genua Highschool tie is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is light blue and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cloth robe [Ephebian]
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a robe in the Ephebian style.  It is made of fairly thin linen with vertical stripes.  It is very long and stretches almost to the ground.

appraise_text:
The cloth robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cloud-grey bathing suit
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This demure, unpretentious bathing suit has been made from thick, soft cotton the colour of rain clouds in the spring.

appraise_text:
The cloud-grey bathing suit is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: xiou li jian
weight: 3 1/9 lb
description:
This single edged long sword flares slighly towards the tip to balance its weight.  An oval shaped brass guard rests just above the hardwood hilt, which is covered in thin cotton cord and ends in a brass pommel.

appraise_text:
The xiou li jian is about five feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and wood and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: small pink writing box
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Just the right size for a pen and a few sheets of paper, with a neat compartment for an inkwell in one corner, this delicate, pretty pink box is covered all across its lid and sides with intertwined roses, ribbons, and ballet slippers.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small pink writing box is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or ten items.


item_name: bottle of liquorice bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of shiny black through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of liquorice bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is shiny black and is made of glass.


item_name: large lemon
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This gigantic lemon is imported from the jungles of Howandaland, or so they say.  Hopefully it isn't related to the famous Singing Lemon.


item_name: offle king cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a white cabbage that is green to look at before cooking, good for salads, beer making and soling shoes.


item_name: sto red cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a cabbage that grows to a huge size in all weather conditions, but is really, really green.  When they come up with a good joke out there on the cabbage farms, they don't let it go in a hurry.


item_name: kendle green cabbage
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is actually a red cabbage.  Oh how they laugh at this on the farms of the Sto Plains!  Has a hint of mustard.


item_name: large crossbow bolt
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
A long and heavy bolt designed for a large crossbow.  It is made of steel and has an extremely sharp tip.

appraise_text:
The large crossbow bolt is about a foot and a half long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: red handled toothbrush
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a red handled toothbrush, with a comfortable grip, and flexible head.  The cutting edge of toothbrush technology.

appraise_text:
The red handled toothbrush is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: devotional painting of Gufnork
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Gufnork, the god of fluff.  Gufnork is shown only in a metaphorical sense in this painting, as it is entirely covered in fluff of different colours, textures, and fluffiness.  Sky blue soft fluff, bright pink spiky fluff, white silky fluff--fluff of all varieties has been glued to the canvas.  This is just the painting to inspire fluff-filled meditation.  The border of the painting has been covered in fluff.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Gufnork is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "The Ring of the Nibelungingung" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the famous Hublandish opera cycle "The Ring of the Nibelungingung".  A startling realistic illustration of flying valkyries wearing a lot of metal advertises the opera cycle.  Below the illustration are written the performance dates of the eight-part opera cycle at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House.

appraise_text:
The "The Ring of the Nibelungingung" poster is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "Cosi Fan Hita" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the famous opera "Cosi Fan Hita". A lavish illustration of masqued dancers advertises the opera, and below the illustration are written the performance dates at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House.

appraise_text:
The "Cosi Fan Hita" poster is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "La Triviata" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the tragic opera "La Triviata".  A heartbreaking illustration of a consumptive, yet somehow pneumatic, young woman is drawn above the performance dates of the opera at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House.

appraise_text:
The "La Triviata" poster is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "The Enchanted Piccolo" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the famous opera "The Enchanted Piccolo".  A fine engraving of a silver piccolo sits in the centre of the poster, while below the engraving the dates of the opera are listed.

appraise_text:
The "The Enchanted Piccolo" poster is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: rumpled leather-bound book
weight: between 1 5/9 lb and 1 6/9 lb
description:
Square and solid, of a size to fit nicely in the hand, this book has been bound entirely in leather that somehow looks slightly rumpled and travel worn.  Etched upon the front cover is an image of a surprised looking matron in a dressing gown, with her hair put up in curlers.  Battered leather straps, that might almost be found upon an old-fashioned valise, hold the book secure when closed.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed rumpled leather-bound book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: "Guys and Trolls" poster
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy black poster advertising the new Walter Plinge musickal, "Guys and Trolls".  A huge illustration of troll dice (looking suspiciously like human teeth) occupies the centre of the poster, with "Guys" in huge scrawled letters on top and "Trolls" below.

appraise_text:
The "Guys and Trolls" poster is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: tube of minty toothpaste
description: A cool, minty toothpaste.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The tube of toothpaste is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: "The Barber of Pseudopolis" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the famous comedy "The Barber of Psuedopolis".  A humorous cartoon of a dancing, singing barber advertises the opera, while below the cartoon the dates of the opera are listed.

appraise_text:
The "The Barber of Pseudopolis" poster is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: breathfresh tablet
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than 1 g
description:
This is an oval shaped yellow tablet.  If people quietly move away from you when you talk, you need this.  Badly.  On its surface the letters "AMA" have been stamped.


item_name: devotional painting of Sek
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small devotional painting of Sek, the seven-handed god.  Painted in glistening blacks and dark reds and purples, Sek is shown sitting cross-legged on the floor with his bloated stomach resting on his legs.  Three arms protrude from either side of his torso while a seventh, smaller arm extends rather impractically from the top of his head.  The painter has managed to convey an evil, bloodthirsty glare emanating from Sek's eyes.  This is just the painting to inspire violent, destructive thoughts.  The border of the painting has been convincingly painted to look like spattered blood...it must be paint though, of course.

appraise_text:
The devotional painting of Sek is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "Il Truccatore" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the famous opera "Il Truccatore".  A nice iconograph of the famous Enrico Basilica takes up most of the poster, below which elegant writing advertises the dates of the opera at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House.

appraise_text:
The "Il Truccatore" poster is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "Aiaiaiaiada" poster
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy poster advertising the great Klatchian opera "Aiaiaiaiada".  A forn-looking drawing of the famous Djelian princess Aiaiaiaiada sitting atop a majestic elephant takes up most of the poster.  Below the illustration is a string of forn text.

appraise_text:
The "Aiaiaiaiada" poster is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "Hubwards Side Story" poster
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy red poster advertising the new Walter Plinge musickal, "Hubwards Side Story".  The story of two Morporkian star-crossed lovers, Stony, a troll, and Marija, a dwarf, "Hubwards Side Story" is famous for its heart-rending tragedy.  An iconograph of Stony and Marija looking tragic fills the poster, with the title picked out in crossbow bolts and pebbles.

appraise_text:
The "Hubwards Side Story" poster is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: "Cats On Skates" poster
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a huge, glossy black poster advertising the new Walter Plinge musickal, "Cats On Skates".  Below wiggly yellow writing advertising the title, a bright iconograph of several human-shaped cats wearing silver roller skates dominates the poster.

appraise_text:
The "Cats On Skates" poster is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: sparkling orange goldfish swim ring
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a swim ring, designed to be worn around the waist while inflated to aid in floatation.  It sports a giant, gaping, goldfish's head, guaranteed to scare off any lurking sea creatures.  A valve on the tail allows for inflating or deflating the ring, depending on whether the wearer wants to float or just make a fashion statement.  It is flat and wrinkled.  The sparkling orange goldfish swim ring just slips off of your waist, as it's not inflated.

appraise_text:
The sparkling orange goldfish swim ring is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is orange and is made of rubber.


item_name: witch embroidery pattern
description: This sheet of paper is printed with a witch pattern for embroidery.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The witch embroidery pattern is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: could be beef pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a lovely golden brown bit of bread dough that has been lovingly wrapped around some brown chunks of meat which could be beef, but seems to insist that closer examination is not warranted.  This whole mass has been deep fried to the point where the sheen could blind in direct sunlight and any paper bag in which it was placed would instantly become transparent.


item_name: must be mutton pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a dark brown mass of bread dough wrapped around some sort of meat product and deep fried to a sopping mess.  This could be mutton, it's certainly tough enough, but well it could also be a cat or a passing troublemaker as well.


item_name: very likely vegetable pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This sodden mass of bread has what appears to be a very flaccid carrot sticking out of one end.  The pie has been deep fried and also appears to contain something potato shaped.  It could, however, be a glob of fat.  After all, it appears to be jiggling.


item_name: apparently chicken pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a greasy ball of bread dough that has been deep fried after being stuffed with a meat which resembles chicken; however, the feather sticking out of one end looks like a magpie's.


item_name: named meat pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a greasy ball of bread dough wrapped around something that is some meat of sorts.  It may have even had a name or been called Rover or Roxy at some time.


item_name: might be meat pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This twisted bit of blackened dough has been stuffed with something that could be meat but whether or not it comes from a cow or a raccoon is a question only the butcher could answer.


item_name: application form
description: This is an application form to the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins.
weight: less than a pound
special_find_note: 87af320c8a32586d14d6ec9e0495312debe63ff8
appraise_text:
The application form is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: wooden nunchaku
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a nunchaku, a pair of wooden batons attached by a length of steel chain.  It is a difficult weapon to wield, but is fearsome in the right hands.  Of course, in the wrong hands, it tends to hit its wielder around the head a lot.

appraise_text:
The wooden nunchaku is about a foot and a half long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and steel and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: silver dragon nunchaku
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a nunchaku, a pair of wooden batons attached by a length of steel chain.  It is a difficult weapon to wield, but is fearsome in the right hands.  Of course, in the wrong hands, it tends to hit its wielder around the head a lot.  The handles on this pair have been made of silvered hardwood and a number of colourful enamelled dragons twist around the upper half of their lengths.

appraise_text:
The silver dragon nunchaku is about a foot and a half long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and steel and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: sai
weight: 7/9 lb
special_find_note: No longer exists - got made into 'Agatean steel sai'.
description:
Constructed by anchoring three prongs to a hilt, this sai has three rounded, blunt blades which protrude menacingly from its stem.  The middle blade is considerably longer than the other two and the narrowness of the weapon makes it look like it would be easy to conceal.  It looks like the sort of thing someone named Raphael would wield.

appraise_text:
The sai is about nine inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: ono
weight: 12 2/9 lb
special_find_note: No longer exists - got made into 'steel ono'.
description:
A massive battle-axe, the ono were traditionally used for battering down palace gates, knocking rivals off their horses or destroying opponents who deigned to enter combat with a lesser weapon.  It's nice to know that times haven't changed.  The handle of this ono is about five feet long, and a massive axe head has been attached to one end.

appraise_text:
The ono is about five feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: egg shell
weight: 0lb
description:
The broken shell of an egg.  It's all white and cracked and slightly gooey on what was once its inside.  Super stuff!

appraise_text:
The egg shell is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is white and is made of egg shell.


item_name: egg carton
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This lidded cardboard box has four round sockets on the inside, suitable for holding eggs.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The egg carton is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: egg [Annie's cottage]
appraise_text: The egg is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide. It is white and is made of egg.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: d3ae8b8d57ff712f5afae4b8405a8d3d7d78933d
description:
A white ovoid, containing a nutritious and tasty yolk, which you might be able to get by breaking the egg into something that could hold its gooey innards.  Just try not to think about where it came from.


item_name: wine bottle
weight: between 2 4/9 lb and 2 5/9 lb
special_find_note: d3ae8b8d57ff712f5afae4b8405a8d3d7d78933d
description:
This is a deeply dusty bottle.  The label has long worn off.  A thick, filmy blanket of ingrained grime coats the bottle.  It smells faintly of vinegar.

appraise_text:
The wine bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: ancient wine
special_find_note: d3ae8b8d57ff712f5afae4b8405a8d3d7d78933d
description:
This looks like a very old, fermenting wine, about one pint.  It bubbles away in a rather disconcerting manner.  A faint suggestion of vinegar wafts from it.


item_name: ugly looking statue
weight: 3lb
description:
This is a rather grotesque looking ceramic statue.  It looks something like a vulture with an over-exaggerated... well... let's not go into which part of it is over-exaggerated.  It's surprisingly heavy, and very ugly.

appraise_text:
The ugly looking statue is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of ceramic.


item_name: lion pelt
weight: 8 3/9 lb
description:
This is the soft pelt of a lion, which has (presumably) been forcefully removed from its previous owner.

appraise_text:
The lion pelt is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of plain silver cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 75 g
description:
These unadorned silver discs will sit unobtrusively on any shirt, while at the same time reminding everyone that you are rich enough not to need buttons.


item_name: silk money plant
weight: 11 1/9 lb
description:
A small silk plant with fragile translucent beige leaves, the money plant is believed by Fung Shooey devotees to attract wealth.  However if you don't believe that, it also looks good in its lacquered pot and is very easy to take care of considering it never needs watering!

appraise_text:
The silk money plant is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: potted silk spider plant
weight: 8 8/9 lb
description:
This is a healthy-looking spider plant.  Normally fast growing, this particular specimen never needs trimming because its leaves are made of the softest silk available.  Spiky and beautifully dyed deep and pale green leaves trail down over the edge of its pot, a few small off-shoot baby plants crafted from clumps of silk.

appraise_text:
The potted silk spider plant is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: potted silk fuchsia plant
weight: 8 8/9 lb
description:
The startlingly pink flowers of this silk-leafed fuchsia plant, hanging down over the edge of its lacquered pot, will bring a splash of life and colour to any room.  The dyeing process on the silk flowers has been so intricately done that the centres of the blossoms are not only magenta, but a deep orchid, pale yellow and crimson as well.

appraise_text:
The potted silk fuchsia plant is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: leather teddy
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a [adjective] teddy made of [colour] coloured leather.  It is form-fitting, cut high on the hip and low across the breasts.

appraise_text:
The leather teddy is about two and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: crystal-ringed key
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Paired with a chastity belt on purchase.
description:
This key is hung on a clear hard crystal keyring.  It looks like it could unlock a chastity belt of a particular kind.

appraise_text:
The crystal-ringed key is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and crystal.


item_name: crystal chastity belt
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A chastity belt, meant to put access to one's most private areas under some fiendish master's or mistress's control.  After it's closed and locked, it can't be removed until it's unlocked again.  This one is made out of clear hard crystal to show off rather than conceal the wearer's assets. It has a large but transparent lock on the front.  It is currently open and unlocked, not being worn by anyone.

appraise_text:
The crystal chastity belt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and crystal and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: steel chastity belt
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
A chastity belt, meant to put access to one's most private areas under some fiendish master's or mistress's control.  After it's closed and locked, it can't be removed until it's unlocked again.  This one is made out of polished steel, making it look rugged and unbreakable.  It has a large shiny steel lock on the front.  It is currently open and unlocked, not being worn by anyone.

appraise_text:
The steel chastity belt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and steel and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [adjective] [metal] necklace
appraise_text: It is made of [metal] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
This is an [adjective], [metal] necklace.  An arrangement of tiny jewels has been constructed at its base upon a small, metal disk in the pattern of [pattern].  The jewels on the necklace glisten with such enthusiasm that you might suspect them to be cheap imitations.


item_name: large glass jar
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From 'jar of honey'.
description:
A large glass jar with a hand painted label.  The large glass jar is completely full with some honey.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large glass jar is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: Lucky Mantra Stone
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a stone - but not just ANY stone.  This is a Lucky Stone.  It has been painted a pretty, sorry, Auspicious shade of blue, with the Mantra of The Seven Lucky Words painted on in red.  Lucky Red.  Really!

appraise_text:
The Lucky Mantra Stone is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of stone.


item_name: pair of [colour] woollen trousers
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Practical and warm, if possibly a bit scratchy without the proper undergarments, these trousers are obviously made for a working person.  Well-fitted, without being restricting, they are quite plain, but would certainly be flattering on the right physique.

appraise_text:
The pair of dark blue woollen trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is dark blue and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sexy Hogfather outfit
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Comprising a skimpy thong, a skimpy bra, a skimpy suspender belt, a pair of red fishnet stockings, a long white false beard, and a pointy hat, this outfit is sure to delight any Hogswatch fetishist.  All the items are made from soft red satin and trimmed with white fur.

appraise_text:
The sexy Hogfather outfit is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is red and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pink face covering
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is made from a lightweight pink gauze which demurely reveals the outline of the face beneath.  The material rests across the nose and is attached to the face by a long cord which ties behind the head.

appraise_text:
The pink face covering is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of white satin slippers
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This soft slippers are made to fit like a glove.  The satin is perhaps not the most practical of materials, but its warm glow invites touches. 

appraise_text:
The pair of white satin slippers is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is white and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: glittery sequin
description: A very glittery sequin, of the type often seen in parades.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The glittery sequin is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of metal and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of large gold-framed sunglasses
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
These large sunglasses have a shiny gold frame and amber-coloured glasses.  Their classy shine would nicely offset the wild look of huge sideburns.

appraise_text:
The pair of large gold-framed sunglasses is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sheer blue shawl
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This sheer shawl is knitted lace in variegated autumn colours, rusts and oranges, golds and crimsons on a backdrop of pale blue silk.  It displays a pattern of fallen leaves, and would be ideal to wrap around oneself over an elegant gown, to compliment another garment or just to feel the luxurious softness of the fabric on a brisk autumn evening.  It is trimmed with a fringe formed of knotted tassels that run along the bottom of the rectangular wrap, swaying from side to side with the wearer's movements.

appraise_text:
The sheer blue shawl is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is pale blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Klatchian ivory top
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
Ivory-coloured silk has been scattered with diamond sequins to form a richly shimmering fabric.  Thick straps run across each shoulder before expanding in width to cover the bust and finishing in a thick band with a delicate pattern of diamonds just below the bust.  Attached to the lower band is a light mesh of silver which tapers off into points.

appraise_text:
The Klatchian ivory top is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is ivory and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: fine cream linen under robe
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is an expensive looking robe in a soft, fine linen which is a beautiful cream colour.  It is meant to be worn under an over robe and girdle.  It is part of the ceremonial outfit of a wizard of the Djelibeybi Institution of Illusory Learning.

appraise_text:
The fine cream linen under robe is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is cream and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: metal helm [permalight]
description: The helmet has an eagle in flight embossed on it, and seems to glow with an inner light.
weight: 9 lb
appraise_text:
The metal helm is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be worn as armour.


item_name: mineskirt
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a dwarfish invention called the "mineskirt". It is fairly short, made of thick leather, and has flowers embroidered on it. It is obviously quite feminine, but still somewhat traditional.

appraise_text:
The mineskirt is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is brown and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: torn cotton shirt
weight: 8/9 lb
special_find_note: Becomes 'cotton shirt' when repaired.
description:
With large tears running all over it, this shirt has nearly been torn to shreds.  This shirt will be no use at all as an item of clothing, although it can just about still be worn.  Much more damage will break it completely.

appraise_text:
The torn cotton shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: lumpy bedraggled wizard's pointy hat
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This hat has been designed cunningly to allow a huge number of notes to be stuffed inside of it, though it has been highly beaten up...  The lumpy bedraggled wizard's pointy hat has one interior pocket.

appraise_text:
The lumpy bedraggled wizard's pointy hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: bottle of violet bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of dark blue through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of violet bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is dark blue and is made of glass.


item_name: tattered cotton shirt
weight: 8/9 lb
special_find_note: Becomes 'cotton shirt' when repaired.
description:
Tears run through most of this shirt.  From the arms to the back there is hardly an area which hasn't taken at least some damage.  While there are lots of tears, they are not really that large, nor that serious.  Things can certainly get worse for this shirt, though, and unless some quick repair is administered, they probably will.

appraise_text:
The tattered cotton shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: heavily creased cotton shirt
weight: 8/9 lb
special_find_note: Becomes 'cotton shirt' when repaired.
description:
Major creases run throughout the material of this shirt, some of which are accompanied by small tears or holes.  While there are dozens of creases all over the shirt, there are only a few small holes marring the very largest and deepest creases.  However, the holes are barely noticeable, and this shirt is quite useable as it is.

appraise_text:
The heavily creased cotton shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cotton shirt
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
Like any other shirt, this one has two arms, a collar, a front, a back and buttons to do it up.  All but the buttons are made out from a fairly fine cotton.  It looks quite cheap, and not very durable.  The cotton is also quite thin, and offers little protection from the cold, let alone anything else.

appraise_text:
The cotton shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blue-black sash
description: This rough silken sash is very black and yet, at the same time, a sort of blue colour.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The blue-black sash is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is blue-black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: slim leather-bound book
weight: between 2 1/9 lb and 2 2/9 lb
description:
Square and solid, of a size to fit nicely in the hand, this book has been bound in pale leather, thin and supple.  The front cover has been lightly tooled with a man's face, his eyes inset with two garnets and an unfathomable smile on his lips; a similar, smaller face adorns the spine.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed slim leather-bound book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: pair of huge black fur-trimmed boots
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
Solid and heavy, with thick sturdy soles and steel hobnails, these boots are built for walking over any surface from Hubland ice floes to snowy rooftops.  The calf-high tops are trimmed with fluffy white fur.

appraise_text:
The pair of huge black fur-trimmed boots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hogfather hat
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a red felt hat with a white bobble on the end.  It is similar to the one that the Hogfather is reputed to wear only it doesn't smell of pig's blood and sausages.

appraise_text:
The Hogfather hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is red and is made of felt and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: the Hogfather's robe
weight: 1lb
description:
Warm and voluminous and cosy, and so very very red (red like a warm fire and red wrapping paper and cranberry sauce, definitely not red like fresh-spilt blood) this robe carries the very essence of Hogswatch with it, and the white fur lining will keep the wearer warm whilst driving their sleigh through any snow.

appraise_text:
The Hogfather's robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of wool and fur and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hogswatch sack
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Just like the one the real Hogfather carries, this sack is made from plush red velvet and trimmed with white fur, perfect to be filled with presents for the deserving and bloody bones for everyone else.

appraise_text:
The Hogswatch sack is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of velvet and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or twelve items.


item_name: bottle of grape bubblebath
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This small bottle seems to contain some soapy liquid that glows ever so slightly with a tinge of bright purple through the tinted glass.  The liquid within could be poured from the bottle when in a suitable environment to make a nice, relaxing bubblebath.

appraise_text:
The bottle of grape bubblebath is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is bright purple and is made of glass.


item_name: wrought iron wall sconce
weight: 1lb
description:
This is an ornamental wall sconce, a candleholder designed to be hung on a wall.  Wrought iron has been skilfully manipulated to form the outline of a dragon, complete with wings and fiery breath.  The dragon's forepaw is raised to the sky and it holds an iron bowl in its claws.  The bowl is large enough to hold a candle and catch the overflowing wax.  There is nothing on the wrought iron wall sconce.

appraise_text:
The wrought iron wall sconce is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold less than one pound, or one item.


item_name: [colours] coloured candle
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This candle is not only practical, it is a work of art.  Alternating layers of [colour 1] and [colour 2] wax have created a lovely set of rings.  Deft work with a hot wire has allowed the chandler to sculpt those layers into swirls and bows, ribbons, and butterflies, each particoloured candle becoming a miniature wax version of a stained glass window.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The [colours] coloured candle is about three inches long and not very wide.  It is [colour 1] and is made of wax and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: mourning shirt
description: A thick, scratchy shirt made of white fabric.
weight: 2lb
appraise_text:
The mourning shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: elegant white bodice
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
Stiffly reinforced by boning, this elegantly simple white bodice has a repeating motif of Quirmian fleurs-de-lis worked into the satin.

appraise_text:
The elegant white bodice is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of pink velvet bikini panties
description: This pair of plushy velvet panties invite your caress.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The pair of pink velvet bikini panties is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: "I Love Genua" flag
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This flag is for anyone wishing to express just how much they love the beautiful City of Genua.  You could probably "wave" the flag if you wanted to.

appraise_text:
The "I Love Genua" Flag is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: colichemarde scabbard
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
A slim scabbard of hardened leather with silver fittings, it looks like it was designed to hold a very expensive duelling sword.  It could sheathe a colichemarde.

appraise_text:
The colichemarde scabbard is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: autumnal leaf-print shawl
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This colourful shawl is printed with a pattern of fallen leaves in variegated autumn colours - rusts and oranges, golds and crimsons.  It would be ideal to wrap around oneself over an elegant gown, to complement another garment or just to feel the luxurious softness of the fabric on a brisk autumn evening.  It is trimmed with a fringe formed of knotted tassels that run along the bottom of the rectangular wrap, swaying from side to side with the wearer's movements.

appraise_text:
The autumnal leaf-print shawl is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is russet brown and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: yellow ribbon
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This long yellow ribbon is the sort often found tied around stone palms.  No-one knows how they get there, but they do.

appraise_text:
The yellow ribbon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is yellow and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cigarette
description: This is a somewhat crumpled roll-up cigarette. It is currently unlit and almost in mint condition.
weight: less than 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The cigarette is roughly a couple of inches long and not very wide.  It is made of paper and tobacco and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: big cardboard box
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a big cardboard box.  It looks pretty sturdy, but don't expect it to hold uhm... something very heavy!  It is open.

appraise_text:
The big cardboard box is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: [type] Klatchian steel knife
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a [type] knife, made from [type] Klatchian steel.  The [type] grip is sturdy and comfortable, but the balance is... sort of strange.

appraise_text:
The [type] Klatchian steel knife is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: pair of six-inch killer heels
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Constructed from dense twilight spider silk, these high-heeled shoes have elegant stiletto heels tapering dangerously to a tiny pinpoint.  They look rather deadly actually....maybe it ought to be prerequisite to have passed the Masters exam in Dance and Deportment before even attempting to wear them?

appraise_text:
The pair of six-inch killer heels is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is twilight and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small cloth nappy
description: This is a small nappy made of cloth.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The small cloth nappy is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cigarillo
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This cigarillo is composed of fairly cheap tobacco rolled into several layers of brown paper.  It is currently unlit and about halfway gone.

appraise_text:
The cigarillo is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: mountain bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of lacquer and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
The blue lacquer bracelet is inlaid with a mountain scene in white marble.  Lighter patches of blue represent the sky and the water, while carvings of trees cut through the upper layer into the green that hides within.


item_name: valley ring
appraise_text: It is made of lacquer and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
description:
This dark grey lacquer ring has a carved piece of white marble embedded into the band, depicting a shallow valley between two gently-rounded hills.


item_name: pair of tight black briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Close-fitting, sharply designed, and uncompromisingly masculine, these snug silk briefs cling to every curve and angle.  A slim band of white embroidery edges the broad waistband, just above the words "Assassin Provocateur" in hard-edged italics on the wearer's left hip.  Surely nobody could be concealing anything under there... for long.

appraise_text:
The pair of tight black briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous twilight briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Soft as clouds and mysterious as summer twilight, these briefs from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  Picked out with dove-grey cobweb lace across the silk, with twining ribbons forming a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back, the panties are finished with a tiny taffeta bow at each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous twilight briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is twilight and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: delicate white lace negligee
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Consisting of fall upon fall of pale, frothy lace, barely kept up by a pair of thin white ribbons over the wearer's shoulders, this negligee from the "Assassin Provocateur" range would be the perfect garment for a romantic evening.  The subtly concealed underwiring supports and uplifts the wearer's bosom, and also provides the perfect hiding place for a stiletto... because sometimes, romantic evenings are just business after all.

appraise_text:
The delicate white lace negligee is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: alluring scarlet strapless bra
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk the colour of freshly shed blood, accented with black cobweb lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and a matching bow between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring scarlet strapless bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is scarlet and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: clinging shadowy grey T-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This close-fitting T-shirt, the elusive not-quite-black of a shadow with someone very, very skilled in it, outlines every rippling muscle.  It's enough to make young girls squee and grown men swoon, and would practically make a perfect centrefold in itself.  The AP monogram, showing that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur"designer label, has been embroidered on the left breast in pure black thread.

appraise_text:
The clinging shadowy grey T-shirt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is shadowy grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: alluring twilight demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk the colour of summer twilight, accented with dove-grey lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and matching bows, one at the base of each strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring twilight demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is twilight and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: backless midnight black bustier
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This longline halter-necked bustier bares almost the entire back, tying closed at the base of the wearer's spine with a raspberry-red silk cord.  The long ends of the knot dangle down teasingly, swaying with her motion and accentuating the curves that flare out below the dramatic waistline.  At the left hip, the words "Assassin Provocateur" have been embroidered in sophisticated raspberry-red italics, and the neat steel busk at the front conceals a sheath for a stiletto.  After all, a girl's got to be properly equipped for a night out...

appraise_text:
The backless midnight black bustier is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is midnight black and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: lacy black garter
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If Death's domain were a kingdom by the sea, the foam on each dark wave as it broke on the shore would look just like the lace on this fragile, feminine garter.  Seemingly too light and insubstantial to support anything, it nevertheless holds a lady's stocking as securely as it does the hip flask that could nestle into the single loop concealed in the lace.  It could sheathe a blowpipe.

appraise_text:
The lacy black garter is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: elegant knife belt
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This elegant belt is made from strips of black leather interwoven into an elaborate knotwork pattern.  Cunningly, in a few places, the leather loops are slightly looser than others and would possibly allow you to sheathe a knife or dagger in them.  There are ten loops free.

appraise_text:
The elegant knife belt is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black lace flask garter
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If Death's domain were a kingdom by the sea, the foam on each dark wave as it broke on the shore would look just like the lace on this fragile, feminine garter.  Seemingly too light and insubstantial to support anything, it nevertheless holds a lady's stocking as securely as it does the hip flask that could nestle into the single loop concealed in the lace.  It could sheathe a flask.

appraise_text:
The lacy black garter is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: thick dark blue waistcoat
weight: 2lb
description:
This waistcoat would look at home in any fancy wine bar. Delicate embroidery runs across the front, which close examination reveals to be montages of assassins hunting their prey, leading to intricately carved buttons discreetly showing the last moments of the victim. Feeling beneath the black silk lining reveals strips of hardened leather discreetly woven into the material, which means the waistcoat would offer moderate protection in any tricky spots one might find in the aforementioned wine bars.

appraise_text:
The thick dark blue waistcoat is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: valley necklace
appraise_text: It is made of electrum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Variously-sized rings of electrum have been linked together in a chain, the random arrangement of differing diameters suggesting two rather pebbly hillsides plunging down on either side to meet in a desolate valley at the bottom.  Just in case anyone misses the symbolism, an actual pebble has been carefully polished, engraved with the Agatean character for "valley", and suspended from the centre of the chain.


item_name: silver strapless dress
weight: 1lb
description:
Cut in an elegant and lightweight grey satin, this strapless dress never fails to make the wearer look poised and beautiful, whilst not restricting their movement at the same time.  The upper section, decorated around the high bust line with intricate black and silver ribboning, encases and supports the top half of the body, whilst a small, netted underskirt adds volume and width to the thin skirt that finishes around the calf.  Both parts are sectioned from the waist by a broad black chiffon sash that ties into a discreet bow at the back.

appraise_text:
The silver strapless dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is silver and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: tabard [custom tabard]
description: [custom description]
weight: 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The tabard is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cobra stiletto
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This slender knife has been skilfully made from a darkly gleaming steel, the ebony handle perfectly counterbalancing the short blade with its hexagonal cross-section.  The rounded pommel has a tiny cobra inlaid in niello silver.

appraise_text:
The cobra stiletto is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: piece of straw
description: This is a standard, well chewed piece of straw.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
A piece of straw is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: mountain necklace
appraise_text: It is made of electrum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This necklace consists of a thin white disc of marble suspended from a fine electrum chain.  The shape of a tall mountain top surrounded by clouds has been carved into the marble in relief.


item_name: alluring moonlight silver demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk the colour of the full moon, accented with pure white cobweb lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and matching bows, one at the base of each glimmering strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring moonlight silver demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is moonlight silver and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: delicate black satin negligee
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Consisting of a long fall of sheer, skimpy satin, barely kept up by a pair of thin black ribbons over the wearer's shoulders, this negligee from the "Assassin Provocateur" range would be the perfect garment for a romantic evening.  The subtly concealed underwiring supports and uplifts the wearer's bosom, and also provides the perfect hiding place for a stiletto... because sometimes, romantic evenings are just business after all.

appraise_text:
The delicate black satin negligee is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous moonlight silver briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Soft and pale as clouds a heartbeat away from the first full moon of autumn, these briefs from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  Picked out with pure white cobweb lace across the silk, with twining ribbons forming a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back, the panties are finished with a tiny taffeta bow at each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous moonlight silver briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is moonlight silver and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: shadowy grey sleeveless T-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Designed to perfectly showcase an athletic physique, this close-fitting sleeveless T-shirt, the elusive not-quite-black of a shadow with someone very, very skilled in it, outlines every rippling muscle.  It's enough to make young girls squee and grown men swoon, and would practically make a perfect centrefold in itself.  The AP monogram, showing that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur" designer label, has been embroidered on the left breast in pure black thread.

appraise_text:
The shadowy grey sleeveless T-shirt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is shadowy grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: elegant moonlight silver suspender belt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This elegant silvery silk suspender belt with its cobweb lace detailing does a lot more than caress the wearer's thighs to hold her stockings up.  This is the femme fatale equivalent to the much more masculine utility belt.  Disguised behind the soft silk are four silk pouches, useful for holding the sorts of small, ingenious items that are an important part of the Assassin's craft.  Embroidered over the right hip in sophisticated italics are the words "Assassin Provocateur".  Definitely a piece designed to set poison-laiden pulses racing....

appraise_text:
The elegant moonlight silver suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is moonlight silver and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: delicate black stiletto
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
Slender and wickedly elegant, this little knife has a blade shaped like a long teardrop and almost no guard.  The short handle, wrapped in soft black suede, is slightly curved to fit in the hand.  At the flared pommel, the letters "AP" are inlaid in pink enamel, indicating that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur" range.

appraise_text:
The delicate black stiletto is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous midnight black briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Soft as clouds and dark as night, these briefs from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  Picked out with black cobweb lace across the silk, with twining ribbons forming a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back, the panties are finished with a tiny taffeta bow at each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous midnight black briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is midnight black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Gebra steel dory
weight: 4 4/9 lb
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
This is a perfectly-balanced and elegantly proportioned Ephebian dory.  Its head has been expertly forged from the finest Gebra steel.  The deceptive simplicity of this weapon conceals the fact that it is at one and the same time both elegantly simple and lethally effective.  The shaft has been shaped from a piece of ash and has a bronze shoe at its foot.

appraise_text:
The Gebra steel dory is about six and a half feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: darkened stile
weight: 8/9 lb
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
This maliciously-pointed implement has been forged from the finest Klatchian steel.  Unlike other blades, however, this one has been twisted during its forging in such a way that it resembles the tight spiral of an animal's horn.  It looks eminently suitable for slipping between the ribs of any terminally inobservant victims who happen to be in the vicinity.

appraise_text:
The darkened stile is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: pair of [colour] sandals [informal]
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of shiny patent leather sandals.  Odd refractions of light dance within the [colour] coloured leather.  Good for informal situations.

appraise_text:
The pair of mint sandals is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black and midnight jumpsuit
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This black and midnight jumpsuit has been especially made for a furry fruitbat companion.  It is snuggly and comfortable with special holes for the legs and wings.

appraise_text:
The black and midnight jumpsuit is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is midnight black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: conker
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a typical Ramtops conker; that is, it has been painted lurid purple with oozing magentaslime covering it as well.  It's made up of a horse chestnut attached to a length of string.  You're just itching to challenge someone with it aren't you!  

appraise_text:
The conker is about an inch long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of chestnut and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: horse chestnut
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This large, smooth, mahogany brown nut is lovely and shiny.  Unfortunately, as can be seen from its fully-rounded shape, it's the fruit of the horse chestnut rather than the sweet chestnut and so alas is inedible.

appraise_text:
The horse chestnut is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of chestnut.


item_name: some green mould
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
It's a handful of thick, green mould.  The faint scent of vinegar permeates the air around it.  It looks like there are about ten pinches of it.


item_name: half an old boot
appraise_text: Half an old boot is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of leather
weight: 4/9 lb
special_find_note: 99ccb4f018b4d8cffab85a1d7c5a351a083c59a8
description:
This is half a boot.  Totally useless and unwearable unless you have half a foot in which case you are fortunate indeed.


item_name: darkened makhaira
weight: 2 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
Approximately the length of a grown man's arm, this slender sword has been forged from darkened Klatchian steel.  Soft and supple dark grey leather has been wrapped around the handle to provide a sure grip.  The razor-sharp blade would probably prove invaluable for a quick stab in the dark.

appraise_text:
The darkened makhaira is about two feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be used as a weapon of type sword.


item_name: imp-powered watch
appraise_text: It is made of brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is one of those wrist watches that is powered by a chubby-looking imp.  This watch basically has fifteen functions, but as far as you are concerned the imp performs only two: one to tell the time and the other to apologise for its inefficiency in its other thirteen functions.  Perhaps you could use it.


item_name: glass log
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
The log is made of glass.  Something in the middle of it appears as a dark shape, but you'd have to break the log to find out what it is.

appraise_text:
The glass log is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bag of coal
weight: 11 4/9 lb
description:
This is a thin bag, made of crudely woven string.  The twine has been plaited and knotted to make a semi-transparent bag that can stretch slightly to carry bulky items.  It is by no means strong.  The crude string bag has one main pocket.  It is almost completely full with: eleven medium sized lumps of coal and a small lump of coal.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The crude string bag is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of string and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: Flaming Cabbage brooch
appraise_text: It is made of bronze and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This nice brooch is crafted from finest bronze and it depicts a grinning cabbage head with flames shooting up from the top of its head.


item_name: wooden branch
appraise_text: The wooden branch is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of wood.
weight: 3 3/9 lb
special_find_note: 556052482b7eb733ccb4851d0819587e694271a8
description:
This is essentially a branch that has been lopped off a tree.  It looks like it was severed from its original owner some time ago, though, and would probably make suitable fuel for a fire.


item_name: small tin button
appraise_text: It is made of tin and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Reward from doing Job Market missions in Ankh-Morpork.
description:
This is a small button, made of tin.  It bears an inscription of a hammer above a wagon wheel.  Anyone who earns this medal can show proudly to the world that he/she is not afraid of hard work!


item_name: heart shaped locket
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This locket is given to a loved one, made from a silvery substance that glints in the light.  The small catch and hinges betray the fact that this locket might contain something.


item_name: ebony pen
weight: 16 g
description:
This is a straight, no-nonsense pen made from a single piece of ebony.  No decoration of any kind was put on it; its beauty comes from its simplicity and the very subtle curves which make it fit the hand better.  The grain of the wood seems to come alive under the polish as one writes with it.  It features a straight nib, used for writing in heavy gothic script.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The ebony pen is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: Sung family kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This kimono marks the wearer out as belonging to the Sung Family.  It is a pale blue with details along the hem and sleeves picked out in gold thread, the colours of the Family.  Their emblem, a koi carp, is embroidered in gold on the chest.

appraise_text:
The Sung family kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is pale blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: brown cotton belt
description: This brown belt should only be worn by students who have reached First Kyu.
weight: 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The brown cotton belt is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is brown and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: red cotton belt
description: This red belt is one a student should wear when they first start out.
weight: 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The red cotton belt is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: McSweeney family kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
The unusual red and black checked pattern of this kimono marks the wearer unmistakeably as a member of the McSweeney Family (a very old, established family).  The large squared pattern is so distinctive that the embroidered ox on the chest is almost unnecessary.  The McSweeney family kimono has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The McSweeney family kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: worn drill
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This traditional wrap around cotton drill is loose fitting to allow ease of movement.  It has been well worn and looks quite old.

appraise_text:
The worn drill is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: white belt
description: This is the ninja equivalent of a newbie sash.
weight: 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The white belt is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hong family kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This kimono marks the wearer out as belonging to the Hong Family.  It is in the Hong colours of red and cherry blossom pink, with the family emblem, a lotus blossom, embroidered on the chest.

appraise_text:
The Hong family kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: black ninja mask
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a thin black scarf which wraps closely around the lower half of the wearer's face, concealing everything below their eyes.

appraise_text:
The black ninja mask is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Axe of Managerial Ire
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
An auriental executioner's axe, the blades are slightly concave to better fit the neck of a condemned criminal.

appraise_text:
The Axe of Managerial Ire is about four feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: tartan leather kilt
description: Leather, painted in a crude plaid, it appears to be a handmade homage to a noble family.
weight: 6 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The tartan leather kilt is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: pair of black stylish trousers
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
These are very stylish black trousers.  They are a part of the uniform in which FBI agents work.  Wearing these would make anyone respect.  What is more interesting though, is that they never seem to get any wrinkles or get dirty.

appraise_text:
The pair of black stylish trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: FBI badge
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a badge given to very special people.  FBI stands for Federal Buffalo Investigation, which is a small resistance society.  What they resist is still unclear.  Just beneath the surface, you can make out what looks like a pair of glittering eyes.

appraise_text:
The FBI badge is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of metal and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: withered ear [talker]
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a withered ear that has been lopped from some unlucky soul.  The practise of Voodoo is widespread throughout Genua, and as such there are a number of grisly items like this floating around the various locales of the city.  This particular ear has been threaded onto a piece of string, and could be worn if body parts are in fashion this season.  Just beneath the surface, you can make out what looks like a pair of glittering eyes.

appraise_text:
The withered ear is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: sensible black woollen vest
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a thick black vest made for the worthy purpose of hiding parts of witches that they don't want the outside world to be privy to.  Or perhaps exposed to.  Who knows; it's probably better that such bits stay hidden behind such sturdy items of clothing such as this.  The sensible black woollen vest has one breast pocket.

appraise_text:
The sensible black woollen vest is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: beer-stained cotton apron
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This apron was once white, but is now covered in a multitude of beer stains in colours ranging from yellow to almost black.  Either it was used in an establishment with an extremely good choice of beer, or its owner has worked in a lot of different places.  The beer-stained cotton apron has one front pocket.

appraise_text:
The beer-stained cotton apron is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is multicoloured and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: black silk kosode
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful black short sleeved kosode made of silk.  It is a simple yet tasteful creation with no fancy embroidery.  The hem, collar and sleeves are edged with a golden border.

appraise_text:
The black silk kosode is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: short grey robe
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
The dark grey folds of heavy silk on this robe stand coolly out from the deep red showing beneath it.  Wide bands of the dark grey silk wrap over the wearer's shoulders across the back and chest, ending in a a short skirt halfway between the waist and knees.  The waist is tied closed with a bright and shiny gold waistband.  From beneath the grey folds a deep red undershirt is visible, wide sleeves reaching down and the top with the fetching Auriental style collar accentuating the neck.  A highly polished golden sigil of a snarling tiger is pinned to the collar, indicating this robe to be a Fang guard uniform.

appraise_text:
The short grey robe is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black striped kimono
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This kimono, in a lightweight black cotton, is of good quality, though its material betrays it as something more likely to be worn by a servant than a person with property.  The shoulders and back are covered with a dark blue pattern of stripes, suggesting that it is to be folded how a man would wear it.

appraise_text:
The black striped kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: large crimson kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This kimono has been specially designed for the larger man or woman.  It has many patches on it where it has been altered to suit someone who has gained weight quickly.  Of course only someone with a larger figure would even dream of wearing this, unless they decided to use it as a tent of course.  An image of what looks like a large plate of cakes has been sewn onto the back, possibly to cover up a section that's been made bigger.

appraise_text:
The large crimson kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is crimson and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: deep crimson robe
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This knee-length robe is a very sober one, extremely tasteful in its minimalism and dyed to a uniform, deep crimson red.  It is of a very traditional design, the whole robe made out of the same heavy damask silk with the preferred Auriental collar.  The robe is worn in a somewhat loose manner and has no decorations, but for a single row of small round buttons down the front, embroidered with pink cherry blossoms.  A small blood red sigil shaped like a lotus blossom is pinned to the left collar, marking it as a Hong guard uniform.

appraise_text:
The deep crimson robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black check robe
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is quite an imposing robe indeed, made of smooth and heavy black silk.  The billowing, long skirt reaches to just an inch off the ground, rising to a snug fit around the waist.  The front of the robe is closed by a flap rising from the right waist along the side of the chest to the right shoulder blade where it is fastened by three small red buttons.  The wide, gauntlet style cuffs of the robe are dyed in a remarkable black and red check pattern, as is the nehru style collar.  Attached to the collar is a red sigil in the shape of a water buffalo, indicating this robe to be the uniform of the McSweeney House guards.

appraise_text:
The black check robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black floral kimono
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This kimono, in a lightweight black cotton, is of good quality, though its material betrays it as something more likely to be worn by a servant than a person with property.  The sleeves and hem are embroidered with a thin pattern of dark blue flowers, which, along with its cut, suggests that it is intended for a woman.

appraise_text:
The black floral kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of N'ai Kee silk trousers
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
These stylish dark grey trousers were lovingly fashioned from the finest heavy silks the Fangs could afford.  They are slightly baggy, so as to allow for freedom of movement during a chase after intruders or for impressive fighting manoeuvres.  A line of intricate, curly embroidery runs down each side, one a blood red, the other a sparkly gold.  It is said that a previous Lord Fang had these made and named for the philosopher of the same name, whose mantra "Just do it" led him to be trampled to death when trying to outrun a herd of hungry Tsimo wrestlers.

appraise_text:
The pair of N'ai Kee silk trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: formal robe
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
The deep purple silken folds of this formal robe reach almost to the ground.  The sleeves are so voluminous they could easily hide small objects being held by the wearer.  With no collars, front fastenings or waist belt the only decorations are a score or more silver circles of steel stitched to the shoulders and upper back.  Whilst having no inherent protective quality, the circles symbolise the confrontational nature of those who would wear such a robe.

appraise_text:
The formal robe is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is deep purple and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: snarling tiger kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This kimono is one of the series Lord Fang had custom made for himself.  It is of a deep grey with silvery scrollwork around the hem and sleeves.  Above the scrollwork vivid red flames were dyed onto the grey silk.  The back of the kimono is almost artfully painted with the snarling tiger of the Fangs in flashy colours.  Large gold pictograms wishing for wealth and longevity have been embroidered on the chest.

appraise_text:
The snarling tiger kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is deep grey and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: white silk kosode
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful white short sleeved kosode made of silk.  It is a simple yet tasteful creation with no fancy embroidery.  The hem, collar and sleeves are edged with a golden border.

appraise_text:
The white silk kosode is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: crochet hook
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
These long slender needles are used for weaving yarn into any number of items.  Used mostly for clothes making, small hooks attached to the end allow the yarn to be pulled and manipulated.  In a pinch these could be used as a weapon, though no one is likely to take you very seriously.

appraise_text:
The crochet hook is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: black velvet cape [mysterious]
description: A long velvet cloak, lined with red silk, and perfect for skulking around and looking mysterious.
weight: 1 7/9 lb
appraise_text:
The black velvet cape is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black velvet cape
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a perfect, swash-buckling, flourishing cape, cut from deep black velvet and lined with scarlet silk, which flashes rich colour with every extravagant gesture of its wearer's arms.  It is trimmed with silver, and fastened with four silver buttons, each carved with the bunch of grapes which stands for Duchess Saturday's Musketeers.

appraise_text:
The black velvet cape is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: mottled green kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This regal kimono is of a very unusual pattern and hue.  The thick damask silk is dyed in various shades of green with such a cunning technique that it makes the wearer seem as if they were wearing a sun dappled forest.  The kimono has been cut and fitted with such style and grace that it is fit for the finest aristocracy of the Empire.  At the low hanging cuff of each sleeve, a golden crane has been embroidered in the silk.

appraise_text:
The mottled green kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: pair of creased cotton trousers
weight: 1 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Becomes 'pair of cotton trousers' when repaired.
description:
While not in top condition, these trousers really aren't in that bad of a state.  With a little repair, they could be back to the standard they were in when made, although that clearly wasn't very good to begin with.  The main thing which detracts from their original condition are the creases which run all over them, making them look very poor indeed.

appraise_text:
The pair of creased cotton trousers is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: cobalt kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This kimono is of a deep cobalt blue and woven from the finest damask silk, creating a rich and deep blue silk garment, almost sensuous to the touch.  Tastefully minimalistic on the front, the only markings on the deep blue kimono are embroiderings on the hem and cuffs.  The hem of the kimono is interwoven with gold thread in an abstract, eyepleasing pattern.  The embroidery around the left cuff portrays the Agatean symbols for "art" and "beauty", while that on the right cuff reveals the pictograms for "peace" and "longevity".  Offset on the back of the kimono is an ornate handpainted koi carp in tones of silver and gold.

appraise_text:
The cobalt kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: herb basket
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This small spherical basket is woven of fine strips of light bamboo.  The inside is lined with a thin layer of supple, treated leather to protect what it might carry.  It looks perfect for storing herbs, plants and roots on a foraging trip.

appraise_text:
The herb basket is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of bamboo and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: saffron robe
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This fine robe is one of those of the traditional elderly monks of the Empire.  A bold red over-robe of thick silk diagonally drapes over one shoulder of a saffron under-robe of thin, soft cotton. The sleeves of the under-robe protrude from beneath the shoulder draping over-robe.  The robe reaches to the ground and is worn loosely so as not to hamper movement.  A shining orange sigil, shaped like a rose, is pinned to the traditional Auriental collar.

appraise_text:
The saffron robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: dark over-robe
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The over-robe is a garment that is slung over one shoulder to cover most of the body while leaving both arms completely free to move.  This particular one is made of dark, soft fabric, perfect for warmth and concealment on an autumn night.

appraise_text:
The dark over-robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: dark green robe
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This fine green robe resembles those of the traditional mystics and monks of the Empire.  A dark green over-robe of thick silk covers a lighter, moss green under-robe of thin, soft satin the sleeves of which protrude from beneath the sleeveless over-robe.  The over-robe reaches to the ground and is worn as a kimono, wrapped close around the waist.  A lively turquoise sigil, shaped like a crane, is pinned to the traditional Auriental collar, marking it as a Tang family guard uniform.

appraise_text:
The dark green robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: dark blue shamfu shirt
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a dark blue shamfu shirt with one simple button at the top.  It bears a round neckline and it has long sleeves.  This shirt is made from woven cotton and it is usually worn by old men.

appraise_text:
The dark blue shamfu shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is dark blue and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: shiny wood carving
appraise_text: The shiny wood carving is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of wood.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
special_find_note: 89c44db454f85f871bc608e8e93c58d4df9044a3
description:
Skilfully carved into a circlet of polished ebony wood, this is a personal scene of someone (who looks an awful lot like Lord Sung) arranging flowers in nothing but a silk fundoshi.  The craftsmanship is remarkable, every nuance and feature in the wooden relief is immaculate and makes the whole tableau come to life.


item_name: light blue dress
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
A long gown of a soft, light blue reaches down to the ankles in a loose way.  The dress is made of the softest satin silk, mainly light blue with a few streaks of angel white here and there, creating a scene not unlike the heavens.  This is an ideal dress for those graceful women that like to paint in wide, airy studios, whose minds are often elsewhere.  The neckline of the dress is cut low, so as to sway the will of men, and it has a tiny platinum koi carp embroidered at the end of its V-shape.  The sleeves are wide and roomy, there is a small pocket inside each sleeve.  A somewhat veiled split runs up to the hips.

appraise_text:
The light blue dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is light blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: black velvet coat and tails
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This classic black velvet coat and tails is usually worn only for formal affairs.  Or by vampires on a daily basis.  The jacket is lined with pearl grey silk.  The black velvet coat and tails has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The black velvet coat and tails is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: antique tuxedo
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a worn, patched outfit that appears to have once been some sort of velvet evening attire consisting of trousers, shirt, and tails.  The lace cuffs and cravat are torn and dark with grime, and the once shiny brass buttons have turned black and corroded with age.  Holes and tears have been expertly patched, although the stitches are rather large and jagged.  The whole outfit leaves one with the impression of someone attempting to keep up traditions.

appraise_text:
The antique tuxedo is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: red silk sash
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a broad silk sash frequently worn by dignitaries to display their many medals and honours.  Or to hide their ever-expanding middles.

appraise_text:
The red silk sash is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is red and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: shimmering golden towel
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a bold, sparkling and thoroughly ostentatious towel.  It's not the kind of thing you leave folded up in the airing cupboard, that's for sure.  Somebody wants to make a statement with this towel, although that statement may very well be 'I have no sense of style'.

appraise_text:
The shimmering golden towel is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is shimmering gold and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: diaphanous white gown
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a beautiful, romantic gown made of the sheerest white silk.  The neckline is heart-shaped with thin gold cords crossing between the breasts and then around the bodice, making the dress fit tightly.  From the bodice down, however, the silk flows like a pale waterfall, fluttering in the slightest breeze.  It is exactly the type of garment worn by damsels in distress.  Or by damsels who cause distress.

appraise_text:
The diaphanous white gown is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: big green kimono
description: You think you noticed two small blue eyes inside the cloud, but you are not sure.
weight: 2 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The big green kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is green and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: black silk cape
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a short cape, worn more for dress occasions than to keep warm and dry.  It is made of shiny black silk and lined with dove grey satin.

appraise_text:
The black silk cape is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: red and black dress
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a simple dress made of lengths of black cloth to form the dress part and a deep blood red cloth to form the bodice.

appraise_text:
The red and black dress is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of high heel boots
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
With the high, pointed heel of these boots and the heaviness of the iron, they are quite impractical.  They are however, quite stylish and would probably draw the wearer a second glance.  Designed more with looks than practical use in mind, these boots could be the finishing touch to an outfit, or the beginning of a twisted ankle.

appraise_text:
The pair of high heel boots is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: embroidered brocade vest
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The vest is made of black brocade, heavily embroidered with grim, shadowy designs stitched on with silver coloured thread.  The vest is fastened with four buttons made of polished jet.

appraise_text:
The embroidered brocade vest is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: cinching belt
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a wide belt designed to be worn around the waist and cinch you good - whatever that means.  It is made from black leather accentuated with black sequins and rhinestones.

appraise_text:
The cinching belt is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: antique ruby pendant
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Suspended from a delicate, antique gold chain, this is a red stone cut into the shape of a shimmering tear drop.  At first glance, it appears to be a ruby or a garnet, but upon closer inspection the stone turns out to be a tiny, sealed vial filled with dark red liquid.


item_name: knife belt [no value]
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a black leather belt that any assassin or Klatchian bandito would be proud to wear.  It has ten loops, or "frogs" as they are called, for holding most kinds of knives.  Knives could be drawn from the belt, sheathed, or hurled directly from the belt at an opponent if you have a hand free.

appraise_text:
The knife belt is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: light blue charmeuse skirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a light blue calf-length skirt cut in a full riding style.  It is made of the finest thin, enforced charmeuse and trimmed with medium ribbon.

appraise_text:
The light blue charmeuse skirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is light blue and is made of charmeuse and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pleated black linen skirt
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
Made from soft black linen, this skirt is fairly short and ideal to show off the wearer's legs.  It has been pleated to be more decorative, but is more likely to be worn for work than for leisure.

appraise_text:
The pleated black linen skirt is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of dark blue uniform trousers
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
These heavy, dark blue, cotton-blend uniform trousers are made of quite sturdy material combining cotton and something-very-strong. They represent the latest and greatest in smart looking security wear.

appraise_text:
The pair of dark blue uniform trousers is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be worn as armour.


item_name: pith helmet
weight: 4lb
description:
This simple helmet is designed more to protect the user from a harsh sun and the occasional falling coconut than swords or axes.  But it's quite fashionable.  So much so that even Gapp would have to approve.

appraise_text:
The pith helmet is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: sunny yellow kimono
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This kimono is a sunny yellow, with a lone sapient pearwood tree standing tall from the hem of the robe.  Its willowy russet and brown branches have been woven through with gold threads and bear lovely green and orange leaves, and beautiful white blossoms.

appraise_text:
The sunny yellow kimono is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is sunny yellow and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: hawk's hood
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a leather hood which may be placed over a hawk's head to cover its eyes and pacify it.  It is quite elaborate, with silver filigree work on the side and two small rubies where the eyes would be.

appraise_text:
The hawk's hood is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: knife belt
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a black leather belt that any assassin or Klatchian bandito would be proud to wear.  It has ten loops, or "frogs" as they are called, for holding most kinds of knives.  Knives could be drawn from the belt, sheathed, or hurled directly from the belt at an opponent if you have a hand free.  There are ten loops free.

appraise_text:
The knife belt is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: torn cotton skirt
weight: 1 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Becomes 'cotton skirt' when repaired.
description:
With long rips running all the way up the sides and several small torn patches on the front and back of this skirt, it doesn't look like it's going to last much longer.  All that is keeping it together is a mixture of fine threads and pure laziness on the part of gravity.

appraise_text:
The torn cotton skirt is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: moth-eaten hat
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is an old looking hat that is as holey as a piece of Quirmian cheese.  Or do I mean Lancre cheese?  No, wait, that's the one with the blue veins.  Or possibly it's a mature Rincewind.  Anyway, it's pretty holey, as if a lot of moths have been nibbling on it.  Its appearence is of a normal hat where someone has pushed the crown in to flatten it out.

appraise_text:
The moth-eaten hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of dusty tights
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of regulation Actors' Guild tights, pale grey and dusty.  They are also fairly holey and look pretty worn, ideal for that layabout poor actor look.

appraise_text:
The pair of dusty tights is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of silver framed glasses
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These glasses have silver frames and thick lenses.  The size and shape of the lenses would make the wearer appear to have extremely large eyes.

appraise_text:
The pair of silver framed glasses is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: jagged sparkly knife
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a fairly bulky knife. One edge is very jagged and rough, but the whole knife sparkles, and it looks like it would be very hard to damage.  The handle is white and smooth.  This might be just the sort of thing to keep on you to help you out of a tricky spot, or maybe to open envelopes, though it looks like it would probably shred the contents, too.

appraise_text:
The jagged sparkly knife is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of diamond and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: lion-dog ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 17 g
description:
The lion-dog, whose stylised image is depicted on this ring, represents watchfulness.  The ring has the lion-dog's head in jade, while the body curls around to form the golden band.


item_name: silver lion necklace
appraise_text: It is made of silver and ruby and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 15 g
description:
This is an elegant silver necklace, moulded in the form of a pouncing lion.  The eyes of the lion are miniature rubies, gleaming red.  The workmanship is quite superb, every muscle of the lion's body modelled in wisps of silver.


item_name: pair of small shorts
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
These small shorts are full of holes and patches, and were probably made by the mother of whatever small child is wearing them.  They look much loved and much abused.

appraise_text:
The pair of small shorts is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: studded leather wristlets
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: f8655b0d83c5d7fe4ca1a61f4081e50944817df6
description:
These bands of thick studded leather are designed to wrap around the wrists, making the wearer seem far more impressive than may otherwise be the case.

appraise_text:
A pair of studded leather wristlets is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: white bonnet
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This white bonnet looks rather well worn and faded, but will cover the wearer's head all the same.  It has two small strips of fabric dangling off the side to tie underneath.

appraise_text:
The white bonnet is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blackened steel knife
weight: 2lb
description:
Forged from steel, this knife has been engraved and blackened.  The runes covering it evoke disturbing images in your mind, and you can almost hear the faint echoes of tortured screams as you gaze upon it.  Faint traces of dried blood fill the engraved runes.

appraise_text:
The blackened steel knife is about a foot long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: silver flail
weight: 9lb
description:
This weapon is comprised of a hefty shaft of wood, one end of which is connected via chains to three large and polished silver balls.  The other end of the shaft is wrapped in strips of leather to allow its wielder to better grip onto it.  It looks like it could hold four rituals in its chains, shaft, balls and grip.

appraise_text:
The silver flail is about five feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: spiked black pole
weight: 9 3/9 lb
description:
As poles go, this one is pretty threatening.  Its blackened metal length is adorned with painful-looking ridges, making it difficult to hold comfortably.  Above a modest circlet of iron spikes, the pole is topped by a seven-sided emblem, each point of which is decorated with a finely-metalworked hand and a far cruder metal point, jutting away from the centre of the sigil.  It looks like it could hold four rituals in its base, shaft, spikes and emblem.

appraise_text:
The spiked black pole is about seven feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of iron and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: smock
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a simple smock, much beloved of the locals of Slice.  It has much in common with them.  It is cheap, simple, shapeless and doesn't look like much good.  It is also honest, hard wearing and off-white.

appraise_text:
The smock is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is off-white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: horsehair-crested bronze helm
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
This is a sturdy-looking helm made made from polished bronze.  Its crest is formed from a dense strip of black horsehair bristles that are attached to the bronze vertically along the helm's mid-line.  Such helms are often worn by Ephebian hoplites, the crest indicating the free born status of the soldier.

appraise_text:
The horsehair-crested bronze helm is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of bronze and could be worn as armour.


item_name: strip of white cloth
weight: between 31 g and 32 g
description:
This is a long, narrow strip of white linen.  It is strong enough to bind even the nastiest flesh wounds.

appraise_text:
The strip of white cloth is about a foot and a half long and about three inches wide.  It is white and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: delicate sword
weight: 5 5/9 lb
description:
The long, gleaming blade is slender and elegantly leaf-shaped, while the double hilts divide into three strands on each side and sweep back around the hands, twisting in an elongated and stylish lattice.  It looks showy, impressive, fragile and terribly impractical.  It seems like the perfect thing to take on a quest... as long as it isn't actually used for much.

appraise_text:
The delicate sword is about four and a half feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type heavy-sword.


item_name: wild boar tusk
description: This curved tusk comes from a wild boar. Perhaps you can use it to defend yourself.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
appraise_text:
The wild boar tusk is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is made of bone and could be used as a weapon of type misc. 


item_name: gold-trimmed obi
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A length of black silk, trimmed with gold piping.  It is embroidered with an abstract design in silver and gold thread, as well as having the characters for "honour", "charity" and "idleness" sewn on one end.  The other contains a slip of paper cordially reminding the ancestors that the wearer is a good person at heart.

appraise_text:
The gold-trimmed obi is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: chequered sports jacket
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
At first glance this looks to be made of real wool, but it is, in fact, made of dwarf-made fibres.  On the elbows are small leather patches sewn on to reduce wear.  How very sensible.

appraise_text:
The chequered sports jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of dwarf-made fibres and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: dark blue tricorn
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This deep blue tricorn hat is exactly the type worn by town criers.  If you are a town crier it will make you stand out and look important.  Otherwise it will just make you look a bit stupid.

appraise_text:
The dark blue tricorn is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is deep blue and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: mortar board
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
A traditional black teacher's mortar board with small black tassles.  This is a sort of skull cap with a flat bit glued to the top.  Very skilled teachers balance books and marking on them.

appraise_text:
The mortar board is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of felt and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: flat stone
appraise_text: Rocky as a mineral.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a large, smooth, flat stone.  It's not clear what sort of a stone it is, in terms of its mineral, but it's about palm-sized and has a good comfortable weight to it.


item_name: pointy stone
appraise_text: Rocky as a mineral.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a smallish stone, with some nasty points and sharp edges.  It's not clear what sort of a stone it is, in terms of its mineral, but it's about palm-sized and has something of a streamlined appearance.


item_name: Borogravian bread stick
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a loaf of dwarf bread, baked in the style popular in Borogravia.  It is about the thickness of your wrist all along its four foot length, similar to a thick, short staff.  Like most dwarf breads, it's nigh on impossible to eat, but brilliant for use in skull percussion.  It looks thin enough to be chopped in half.

appraise_text:
The Borogravian bread stick is about four feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of bread and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: steel-bladed kama
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This traditional Auriental hand-axe is simply a wooden baton with a dangerous-looking curved steel blade protruding out from one end.

appraise_text:
The steel-bladed kama is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: short bread stick
weight: 1 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From chopping a Borogravian bread stick in half.
description:
This is a two foot length of dwarf bread.  It is thin enough to get a good grip with in one hand, yet still has plenty of weight behind it.  It appears to have been hacked, by dint of some considerable effort, from a larger stick.

appraise_text:
The short bread stick is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of bread and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: iron amulet
appraise_text: It is made of iron and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This amulet is made from iron, and hideous runes cover its surface.  It radiates a sense of evil and, if used correctly, could well intimidate lesser demonic creatures.


item_name: old weather-beaten key
description: The key is old and rusty. It must have been left in the open for many years.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The old weather-beaten key is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: iron key
description: The key is wrought from iron, and has a small label on it that reads "mansion, crypt".
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The iron key is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pair of shimmering ivory sandals
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
White leather supports the base of the foot and is held on by a triangle shape of ivory silk which slips between the toes.  Minute diamond sequins have been sewed onto the wider parts of the material and make the sandals shimmer in the light.

appraise_text:
The pair of shimmering ivory sandals is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: faded himation
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a very faded himation.  It is dyed a vibrant shade of puce.  An eye-catching pattern of Hercules-knots has been added to its border.  It is perfect for a double arrangement to hang over both shoulders before draping over the whole body.  The edge is patterned with Hercules-knots.

appraise_text:
The faded himation is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is puce and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: string of Mardi Gras beads
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: f8655b0d83c5d7fe4ca1a61f4081e50944817df6
description:
This is a long string of shimmering gold Mardi Gras beads of the sort that are, according to custom, "thrown" from floats to individuals who like to display their, um, assets.

appraise_text:
The string of Mardi Gras beads is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: schoolmaster key
description: A key. Wonder where it fits?
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The schoolmaster key is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: pair of long johns
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
The hills of Llamedos are damp and cold, and these heavy duty knitted under-trousers keep the worst of the weather out.

appraise_text:
The pair of long johns is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: classic black corset
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This utterly classic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is a strapless black overbust corset in deep, smooth duchess satin, shaped to give even the most androgynous of wearers a dramatic waistline and an impressive cleavage.  Scarlet silk ribbon criss-crosses the wearer's spine and ties in a bow to hold it firmly closed, and the neat steel busk at the front conceals a sheath for a stiletto.  After all, a girl's got to be properly equipped for a night out...

appraise_text:
The classic black corset is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: alluring scarlet demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk the colour of freshly shed blood, accented with black cobweb lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and matching bows, one at the base of each strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring scarlet demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is scarlet and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: pair of flimsy black boxer briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Fitting close enough to outline the wearer's every curve and angle like a second skin of silk, these briefs are as comfortable as wearing night-time clouds and a lot more secure.  A slim band of white embroidery edges the broad waistband, just above the words "Assassin Provocateur" in hard-edged italics on the wearer's left hip.  Surely nobody could be concealing anything under there... for long.

appraise_text:
The pair of flimsy black boxer briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous scarlet briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Soft as clouds and wicked as blood spilt at sunset, these briefs from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  Picked out with black cobweb lace across the silk, with twining ribbons forming a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back, the panties are finished with a tiny taffeta bow at each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous scarlet briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is scarlet and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sleeveless black T-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Designed to perfectly showcase an athletic physique, this close-fitting sleeveless T-shirt, black as a very self-satisfied cat on an unlit rooftop under a new moon, outlines every rippling muscle.  It's enough to make young girls squee and grown men swoon, and would practically make a perfect centrefold in itself.  The AP monogram, showing that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur" designer label, has been embroidered on the left breast in pure black thread.

appraise_text:
The sleeveless black T-shirt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hertmes grey ostrich handbag
weight: 4 4/9 lb
description:
This aspirational smoky grey handbag is the symbol of ultimate luxury and style.  With the hardware made of fine Klatchistani silver, it is priced out of the range of most Assassins without a few contract royalties under their belts.  The premium ostrich leather is soft to the touch, but flexible and durable.  Slightly wider than it is tall, this simple and classy bag has a front opening held in place with a decorative silver padlock.  The Hertmes-Genua plate is embossed in silver on the inside of the bag, and the bottom of the bag has four gleaming silver feet.

appraise_text:
The Hertmes grey ostrich handbag is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is grey and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: pair of close-fitting dark grey briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Close-fitting, sharply designed, and uncompromisingly masculine, these snug silk briefs cling to every curve and angle.  A slim band of black embroidery edges the broad waistband, just above the words "Assassin Provocateur" in hard-edged italics on the wearer's left hip.  Surely nobody could be concealing anything under there... for long.

appraise_text:
The pair of close-fitting dark grey briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is dark grey and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: snug wine red T-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This close-fitting T-shirt, the deep red of good Quirmian wine, outlines every rippling muscle.  It's enough to make young girls squee and grown men swoon, and would practically make a perfect centrefold in itself.  The AP monogram, showing that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur" designer label, has been embroidered on the left breast in dark grey thread.

appraise_text:
The snug wine red T-shirt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is wine red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black lace blowpipe garter
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If Death's domain were a kingdom by the sea, the foam on each dark wave as it broke on the shore would look just like the lace on this fragile, feminine garter.  Seemingly too light and insubstantial to support anything, it nevertheless holds a lady's stocking as securely as it would a blowpipe tucked into the neat little loop at the inside of her thigh.

appraise_text:
The lacy black garter is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of lace and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sapphire-studded sword belt
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Broad and thick, this dark leather belt has a simple buckle and a scattering of sapphires along its length.  A loop on each hip would serve any gentleman to carry a sword and dagger about town or while riding, but they would be less than secure in the hunting field or engaged in any activity more strenuous than a gentleman of leisure normally finds himself.  There are two loops free.  It could sheathe a rapier, foil, colichemarde, blade, dagger, sword, sabre, sidesword or epee.

appraise_text:
The sapphire-studded sword belt is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] hair ribbon
weight: 2 g
description:
This is a long piece of [colour] ribbon suitable for holding back long hair, whether binding a simple ponytail, braided in to create a colourful plait, or twined elegantly through a mass of curls.

appraise_text:
The [colour] hair ribbon is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is [colour] and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: moon sake
description:
This is about two pints of Full Moon Sake, a rare and highly valued example of the Imperial breweries of Hung Hung.


item_name: tokkuri flask
weight: between 3 1/9 lb and 3 2/9 lb
description:
This is a white porcelain flask with finely painted mountains sweeping around its curved sides.  A single bearded crane can be seen flying over the snowy peaks while industrious peasants toil the fields below.  The neck is long and tapered to allow sake to be easily poured.  Written in hand painted gold lettering on the bottle's label in Agatean:  Full Moon Sake.  Imperial Brewery Hung Hung.

appraise_text:
The tokkuri flask is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 8 pounds, about thirty items, or about 2 pints.


item_name: keyring necklace [assassins]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This keyring is special as the steel ring holding the keys has been wrapped in a soft dark leather to help lessen the noise one would make in the usual business of jingling keys.  A small metal plaque is already attached bearing the Assassins' Guild emblem.  A delicate darkened steel chain runs through it allowing it to be worn around the neck.

appraise_text:
It is made of steel and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or fifteen items.


item_name: black lace dart garter
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If Death's domain were a kingdom by the sea, the foam on each dark wave as it broke on the shore would look just like the lace on this fragile, feminine garter.  Seemingly too light and insubstantial to support anything, it nevertheless holds a lady's stocking as securely as it does the blowpipe darts that could nestle into the six tiny loops concealed in the lace.


item_name: alluring speedwell blue demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk.  The intense blue, delicate but somehow fragile-seeming like a little wayside flower, is accented with silver-grey cobweb lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and matching bows, one at the base of each thin strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring speedwell blue demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is speedwell blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: pair of snug wine red briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Close-fitting, sharply designed, and uncompromisingly masculine, these snug silk briefs cling to every curve and angle.  A slim band of dark grey embroidery edges the broad waistband, just above the words "Assassin Provocateur" in hard-edged italics on the wearer's left hip.  Surely nobody could be concealing anything under there... for long.

appraise_text:
The pair of snug wine red briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is wine red and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous speedwell blue briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Soft and fragile-seeming as wildflowers by the wayside, these briefs from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  Picked out with silver-grey cobweb lace across the silk, with twining ribbons forming a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back, the panties are finished with a tiny taffeta bow at each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous speedwell blue briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is speedwell blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: delicate speedwell blue suspender belt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This delicate deep blue silk suspender belt with its cobweb lace detailing does a lot more than caress the wearer's thighs to hold her stockings up.  This is the femme fatale equivalent to the much more masculine utility belt.  Disguised behind the soft silk are four silk pouches, useful for holding the sorts of small, ingenious items that are an important part of the Assassin's craft.  Embroidered over the right hip in sophisticated italics are the words "Assassin Provocateur".  Definitely a piece designed to set poison-laden pulses racing...

appraise_text:
The delicate speedwell blue suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is speedwell blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: ruby-studded sword belt
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Broad and thick, this dark leather belt has a simple buckle and a scattering of rubies along its length.  A loop on each hip would serve any gentleman to carry a sword and dagger about town or while riding, but they would be less than secure in the hunting field or engaged in any activity more strenuous than a gentleman of leisure normally finds himself.

appraise_text:
The ruby-studded sword belt is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hertmes raspberry pink lizard handbag
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This cute, coveted raspberry pink handbag is the symbol of ultimate luxury and style.  It oozes quality and 'It' factor. Only the finest tiny-scaled lizard skin has been used and the handstitching along the seams is regular and slightly slanted.  Wider than it is tall, this simple and hardwearing bag has a front opening held in place with a decorative silver padlock.  The Hertmes-Genua plate is embossed in silver on the inside of the bag, and the bottom of the bag has four silver feet.

appraise_text:
The Hertmes raspberry pink lizard handbag is about two feet long and about four inches wide.  It is raspberry pink and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: wizard's pointy hat [quill hat]
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Tiny silver moons and stars lie spangled across the sturdy dark blue cloth of this hat, from the wide brim to the crooked tip.  Just above the brim, a sturdy loop has been sewn into the hat, allowing the owner to insert a jaunty plume.  It could sheathe a quill or pen.

appraise_text:
The wizard's pointy hat is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cloth and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: dark lantern
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a small lantern, designed to be easily concealed.  Its metal sides have been carefully darkened to avoid gleaming in the moonlight, and small hinged flaps allow shutters to be lowered across the lamp at a moment's notice.  The small flaps have been lifted, showing an unlit wick.  It is almost completely out of fuel.

appraise_text:
The dark lantern is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of iron and glass and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: adorable stuffed buffalo
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
Made from the softest brown leather, this is an adorable version of one of the many buffalos that line the hillsides of Bes Pelargic.  It appears to have something written on it.  Written in neat stitching in Agatean:  Buffalo Babies(TM).  My Name is [random Buffalo Baby name and text].

appraise_text:
The adorable stuffed buffalo is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather.


item_name: square stone
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a flat square stone, like a paving stone in miniature, although apparently made from something much harder than cement.  It seems to have a strange mason's or architect's symbol engraved on one side and what might be the floor plan of a building on the other.

appraise_text:
The square stone is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: rags and feathers
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a ragged loincloth held together by a few longer scraps of cloth.  It would leave absolutely nothing to the imagination if there were not a peacock feather tied to the front.

appraise_text:
Some rags and feathers is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: winter jasmine bonsai tree
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
The bark of this miniature tree twists and writhes around its trunk.  Stubby, knotted branches stick out in all directions, festooned with bright yellow flowers that seem quite large in proportion to the rest of the plant.  It sits in an oval ceramic pot of no more than four inches at its widest, glazed blue with a tripartite leaf motif in dark green.

appraise_text:
The winter jasmine bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of pottery and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: flowering quince bonsai tree
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This tiny tree is short and squat, with stony-grey bark and vivid red flowers.  It has been planted in a shallow square pot with rounded corners, glazed a glossy black that provides a dramatic contrast to the brightness of the flowers.  The entire thing could easily fit in the palm of your hand.

appraise_text:
The flowering quince bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of pottery and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: cedar bonsai tree
weight: 3lb
description:
This distinctively-shaped tree stands proud and straight at around three foot tall, the texture of its rough, knobbly bark offering a pleasing contrast to its dense canopy of short, pale-green needles.  It sits in a fairly sizeable clay pot that has been stained in a mix of greys before being fired without glaze to leave a matte surface covered in speckles and short crooked lines.

appraise_text:
The cedar bonsai tree is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of pottery and wood and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: maple bonsai tree
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This tiny tree clings precariously to a tiny moss-covered rock, its ancient root system mirroring the twists and turns of the branches above.  Closer inspection reveals that it is a maple, red and orange as in the height of autumn.  It looks so fragile that you dare not breathe on it.  It sits in a ceramic pot, painted black with a red trim and heavily glazed.  The pot is wide and shallow, octagonal in shape, with tiny pebbles arranged carefully around the larger centre stone.

appraise_text:
The maple bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: juniper bonsai tree
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
The trunk of this tree catches your eye immediately, in fact the trunks of this tree catch your eye.  They start out as a single body, with a wiry root system that wraps around a large stone, then both halves of the trunk extend upwards and outwards in opposite directions.  The foliage of the juniper is a pale green and its leaves are quite small.  The trunks and branches are covered in small needles that make training this species quite hazardous.

appraise_text:
The juniper bonsai tree is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: ship inna bottle
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
A very nice ship inna bottle.  It looks like someone spent hours putting thingies into the bottle and gluing them carefully in place over many days.  The sea looks incredibly realistic, in fact almost too realistic.  The ship has the name "SS Frog" written on its side.  It appears to have been caught in the middle of a huge storm and the crew are rushing around madly trying to get the sails down before they rip off.

appraise_text:
The ship inna bottle is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: [colour] house toy
appraise_text: The [colour] house toy is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of wood.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is an Exclusive Possession house model, painted [colour].  Of course, outside of an actual Exclusive Possession board it is as good as useless.  It may as well be a chocolate teapot.


item_name: exotic Auriental blouse
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This exotic Auriental blouse is made from a brocade silk material.  It is decorated with flowery designs and hugs the figure tightly, thus making every day a good cleavage day.

appraise_text:
The exotic Auriental blouse is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: hemp rope
appraise_text: The hemp rope is about two feet long and about six inches wide. It is made of hemp.
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a length of rope suitable for splicing, knotting or using as a skipping rope if you so desired.


item_name: marigold
description: This beautiful yellow-orange flower is a marigold.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The marigold is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of plant matter and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: pair of stained boxer shorts
description: This pair of boxer shorts is filthy and tattered, fit only to be burned.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: 579fb89e6b3fefee96b4f95a1544e14e32295bd9
appraise_text:
The pair of stained boxer shorts is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: bag of peanuts
weight: between 1 3/9 lb and 1 4/9 lb
description:
This is a little brown paper bag which is designed to hold a number of small items.  It has a colourful picture of a big pile of peanuts.  The paper bag is about half full with twelve unshelled peanuts.

appraise_text:
The paper bag is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, or about thirty items. 


item_name: piece of dried fish
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
What was once a plump and juicy fish has been vigorously dried to remove all traces of moisture.  What is left is a mere husk of what it was, but there is definitely no water left in it at all.


item_name: red Wanobean candle
weight: 2 g
description:
This a dark red scented candle.  Around the base light red lines are twirled giving the impression of jungle leaves.  Above that, different shades of red form exotic flowers, only seen in the densest jungles.

appraise_text:
The red Wanobean candle is about three inches long and not very wide.  It is made of wax and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: blue Wanobean candle
weight: 2 g
description:
This a dark blue scented candle.  Around the base light blue lines are twirled giving the impression of a jungle.  Above that, different shades of blue form raindrops, falling on the jungle.

appraise_text:
The blue Wanobean candle is about three inches long and not very wide.  It is made of wax and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: pure white rod
weight: 5 5/9 lb
description:
This rod has been made of sturdy wood and painted pure white.  It has a vague air of pious benevolence about it, but is otherwise unremarkable.

appraise_text:
The pure white rod is about four feet long and about three inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: friendship bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of some unidentifiable material and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a woven friendship bracelet, braided from bright threads of many different colours.  It has the message "[two custom words]" woven into it, symbolising the friendship two friends weave between themselves.


item_name: piece of garbage
description: A nice large smelly piece of garbage from the Ankh river.
weight: 8/9 lb
appraise_text:
The piece of garbage is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: sparkly crystal
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
The inner structure of this odd-looking crystal seems to have some strange reflective property, so that it sparkles and twinkles especially well when placed in light.

appraise_text:
The sparkly crystal crystal is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of crystal.


item_name: [colour] and [colour] striped tie [fun]
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This tie is made from half-decent silk, at least.  The alternating beige and navy blue stripes are certainly a unique effect, while the prominent picture of a Klatchian dancing girl near the broad end gives a clue to the wearer's fun-loving personality.

appraise_text:
The beige and navy blue striped tie is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: wildflower patterns embroidery book [small gilt-edged book]
weight: less than a pound
description:
The sturdy dark green leather of this little book has been tooled with interlaced honeysuckle vines.  Tiny bees, inlaid with gold leaf, crawl in and out of the delicate flowers.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed small gilt-edged book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: short [colour] chiton [simple]
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
A simple square of fine linen, soft and loose, drapes gently around the body, fastening at the shoulders with an array of small silver pins.  Traditionally worn with a girdle to gather it in at the waist, the linen falls in soft folds across the wearer's shoulders, and reaches to mid-thigh.

appraise_text:
The short pink chiton is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is pink and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black T-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This close-fitting T-shirt, black as a very self-satisfied cat on an unlit rooftop under a new moon, outlines every rippling muscle.  It's enough to make young girls squee and grown men swoon, and would practically make a perfect centrefold in itself.  The AP monogram, showing that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur" designer label, has been embroidered on the left breast in pure black thread.

appraise_text:
The black T-shirt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: strapless starlight dress
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
A narrow band of tiny silver stars encircles both the strapless decolletage and the calf-length hem of this classy dress.  The silver flecks seem to cast a very faint glow over the wearer's face.  The gown has been stylishly tailored from the deepest of midnight blue chiffon and comprises two parts: the bodice has been lightly boned (although discretion keeps us from revealing with whose bones) whilst the skirt has been permitted a restrained flare.

appraise_text:
The strapless starlight dress is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is midnight blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: tumbler
description: A long, circular glass with thick walls.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From Cool Monk bar drinks.
appraise_text:
The tumbler is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: bag of jewels
weight: 27 7/9 lb
special_find_note: No longer in the game.
description:
Some mean old person left this bag of jewels in an off-shore tax haven in an attempt to keep it safe from those money grabbing taxmen.  It would almost certainly be safer in your hands.

appraise_text:
The bag of jewels is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: small cloth bag
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: From a secret tax haven.
description:
This simple, utilitarian bag consists of a single piece of dark green cotton cloth that has been folded in half, sewn together along the side edges, and hemmed at the top.  A cord has been threaded through the top hem, allowing the mouth of the bag to be closed up.

appraise_text:
The small cloth bag is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or ten items.


item_name: pair of griffin moccasins
weight: 1lb
special_find_note: No longer in the game.
description:
These are a pair of griffin moccasins. They are made from the hide of a griffin, giving decent protection to your feet. The moccasins are very comfortable to wear and actually look quite good on you.

appraise_text:
The pair of griffin moccasins is roughly a couple of inches long and about a foot wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: fire cracker [large]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a large red fire cracker of Auriental manufacture.  It's the sort of thing that is thrown at weddings.  You may 'light' it, and 'throw' it.  You read the fire cracker: Written in Agatean: ACME Firecracker.

appraise_text:
The fire cracker is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: fire cracker [small]
weight: 10 g
description:
This is a small fire cracker of the *BANG* variety.  It is the type used to startle the elderly, or throw at parties.  It is crafted from many layers of multicoloured paper scraps.

appraise_text:
A fire cracker is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: twisting myrtle necklet
appraise_text: It is made of gold and sapphire and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Smuggler caves chest loot.
description:
This somewhat rigid piece of decorative neckwear appears to be designed to make its wearer look as though they have been festooned with myrtle.  Fashioned from gold, the body is formed from woven strands of gold, textured to have the appearance of bark.  Small sapphire berries nestle amongst delicately-shaped golden leaves, which extend along the full length of the necklace.


item_name: lucky monkey paw
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is a withered monkey paw, hung from a string.  Supposedly it is able to bring good luck and fortune.  The monkey would probably disagree if it were around, however.  It is tough, leathery and smells slightly odd.

appraise_text:
The lucky monkey paw is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black olive
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 10 g
description:
This is a small black olive.  Its tasty flesh hides a small inner stone.  Sweet and fruity in flavour with a stronger aftertaste, this olive variety is always an Ephebian favourite.


item_name: wicked little stiletto
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This slender knife has been skilfully made from a darkly gleaming steel, the ebony handle perfectly counterbalancing the short blade with its hexagonal cross-section.  The rounded pommel has a tiny Assassins' Guild crest inlaid in niello silver.

appraise_text:
The wicked little stiletto is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: breath-taking pink and black suspender belt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This pretty pink tulle suspender belt overlaid with sexy black lace and pink taffeta ribbon detailing does a lot more than caress the wearer's thighs to hold her stockings up.  This is the femme fatale equivalent to the much more masculine utility belt.  Disguised behind the luscious tulle fabric are four silk pouches, useful for holding the sorts of small, ingenious items that are an important part of the Assassin's craft.  Embroidered over the right hip in sophisticated italics are the words "Assassin Provocateur".  Definitely a piece designed to set poison-laiden pulses racing....

appraise_text:
The breath-taking pink and black suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: alluring pink and black demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in pretty pink tulle overlaid with sexy black lace. The bra is finished with pink taffeta ribbon details and pink taffeta bows, one at the base of each black strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring pink and black demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is pink and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: pair of snug white briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Close-fitting, sharply designed, and uncompromisingly masculine, these snug silk briefs cling to every curve and angle.  A slim band of black embroidery edges the broad waistband, just above the words "Assassin Provocateur" in hard-edged italics on the wearer's left hip.  Surely nobody could be concealing anything under there... for long.

appraise_text:
The pair of snug white briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is white and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous pink and black briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
A far cry from the much maligned pink panties, these panties from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  The pretty pink tulle peeks through from behind feminine black lace interwoven with pink taffeta ribbon detailing.  The ribbon forms a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back.  The briefs are finished with a tiny pink taffeta bow on each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous pink and black briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is pink and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sheet of crested parchment
weight: 11 g
description:
This is a sheet of good quality parchment, embossed at the top with the crest of the Guild of Assassins and the motto "Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre".  Clearly, someone thought that the image of the Guild was extremely important, to go to the effort of producing such a beautiful, smooth, translucent piece of soft supple skin as this.

appraise_text:
The sheet of crested parchment is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of parchment and paper.


item_name: silver-studded sword belt
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Broad and thick, this dark leather belt has a simple silver buckle and a scattering of silver studs along its length.  A loop on each hip would serve any gentleman to carry a sword and dagger about town or while riding, but they would be less than secure in the hunting field or engaged in any activity more strenuous than a gentleman of leisure normally finds himself.  There are two loops free.  It could sheathe a rapier, foil, colichemarde, blade, dagger, sword, sabre, sidesword or epee.

appraise_text:
The silver-studded sword belt is about two feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black lace stiletto garter
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If Death's domain were a kingdom by the sea, the foam on each dark wave as it broke on the shore would look just like the lace on this fragile, feminine garter.  Seemingly too light and insubstantial to support anything, it nevertheless holds a lady's stocking as securely as it would a stiletto tucked into the neat little loop at the inside of her thigh.


item_name: black lace lockpick garter
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
If Death's domain were a kingdom by the sea, the foam on each dark wave as it broke on the shore would look just like the lace on this fragile, feminine garter.  Seemingly too light and insubstantial to support anything, it nevertheless holds a lady's stocking as securely as it does the lockpicks that could nestle into the six tiny loops concealed in the lace.


item_name: lovely little cow
appraise_text: The lovely little cow is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This lovely little cow is made from soft, fluffy material that just begs you to fondle it.  It has big, brown, glass eyes you could lose yourself in, and the cutest pink nose you've ever seen.  Large black patches cover its white hide, and its long white tail has an adorable tuft of black at the end.  The cow is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You really could spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: adorable fluffy hippo
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is an adorable hippopotamus made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a round body with short stubby legs and brown, clear eyes made of glass.  The hippo is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.

appraise_text:
The adorable fluffy hippo is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: black kitten
appraise_text: The black kitten is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and lovely kitten is made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has black, shiny fur, a pink nose and brown, clear eyes made of glass.  This charming thing is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: brown hamster
appraise_text: The brown hamster is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and lovely hamster is made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has brown, shiny fur, a pink nose and brown, clear eyes made of glass.  This charming thing is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: cheeky monkey
appraise_text: The cheeky monkey is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is cheeky monkey made out of some soft, brown and fluffy material.  It has sharp, green eyes made of glass and it's remarkably well made.  The monkey seems almost alive and you could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: cheeky squishy rat
appraise_text: The cheeky squishy rat is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This fluffy rat is made out of some soft, grey, fur-like material that smells faintly of rats.  Unlike the average Morporkian rat, which is akin to a furry, land-dwelling piranha, this one has a friendly, cheeky smile on its well-made face.  Also unlike most of Morpork's rat population, this one wears a straw hat and carries a shiny wooden cane.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: chubby pig
appraise_text: The chubby pig is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a chubby and incredibly cute pig made out of some soft, pink and fluffy material.  It has blue, clear eyes made of glass and is remarkably well made.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: colourful parrot
appraise_text: The colourful parrot is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small and brilliantly plumed parrot made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a bright yellow beak, real feathers and eyes made of glass.  This tropical bird seems incredibly huggable and almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: cuddly green Bel-Shamharoth
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This stern looking cuddly ichor god is made out of some soft and downy material.  It is covered with a plush fabric that somehow still looks like it is oozing slime.  Its eyes are brown, clear and made of glass.  The ichor god is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it, whether it likes it or not.

appraise_text:
The cuddly green Bel-Shamharoth is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: cuddly green turtle
appraise_text: The cuddly green turtle is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This green and soft turtle is made out of some soft and fuzzy material.  Small legs poke out under its shell which has a really nice pattern embroidered on it.  Its eyes are brown, clear and made of glass.  The turtle is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: cuddly striped tiger
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and cuddly tiger is made out of some soft and fuzzy material.  It has orange fur with black stripes, its paws are slightly over-sized, as well as the ears.  The eyes are made out of brown, clear glass.  This marvelous thing is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.

appraise_text:
The cuddly striped tiger is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: cute baggy elephant
appraise_text: The cute baggy elephant is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This grey and cute baby elephant is made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a slightly over-dimensioned trunk, flapping ears and big, blue eyes made of glass.  This charming thing is remarkably well done and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: cute cuddly fruitbat
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This eminently huggable fruitbat is made out of some soft and fuzzy material.  Its wings are slightly spread and covered with a downy cloth that glistens in the light.  Its eyes are brown, clear and made of glass.  The fruitbat is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.

appraise_text:
The cute cuddly fruitbat is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: cute fluffy bunny
appraise_text: The cute fluffy bunny is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This very cute bunny has long floppy ears, sparkling black eyes, a little pink nose and very soft and fluffy fur.  The bunny is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: cute furry dog
appraise_text: The cute furry dog is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small, happy-looking white dog is made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a black nose, stubby tail and brown, clear eyes made of glass.  This charming thing is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.   You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: damp Pishe doll
appraise_text: The damp Pishe doll is about nine inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of silk.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This scaled down version of Pishe, the Goddess of Slight Showers, depicts the goddess in a pose of divine bliss.  Her cloudy glass eyes look as deep and reflective as a still pool, and her long flowing hair cascades gently down her back.  Scantily clad in strands of wispy silk, her soft curves and pale skin are very visible.


item_name: fluffy dragon
appraise_text: The fluffy dragon is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a really selfish-looking dragon made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a wry grin with two rows of (soft) teeth and brown, clear eyes made of glass.  The dragon seems uncannily alive and doesn't really invite any cuddling.


item_name: fluffy moose
appraise_text: The fluffy moose is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a sweet moose made out of some soft, brown and fluffy material.  It has blue, clear eyes made of glass and it's remarkably well made.  The moose seems almost alive and you could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: furry grey mouse
appraise_text: The furry grey mouse is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This furry grey mouse is made out of some soft and fuzzy material.  Small pink legs hang from its body and a long thin whiplike tail curls around it.  Its eyes are clear, red and formed from a glass bead.  The mouse is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: fuzzy lion
appraise_text: The fuzzy lion is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is an adorable little lion, complete with a big fuzzy mane and long tail.  It is apparently trying to look really scary, but those little button eyes are far too cute.  It is quite lifelike, and looks ready to pounce.


item_name: green cuddly cabbage
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is an incredibly cute cabbage pet made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a round body with leaves and a little stem of cloth.  Its eyes are made of clear, brown glass.  The cabbage looks almost alive and you could really spend a whole day cuddling it.

appraise_text:
The green cuddly cabbage is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: green fluffy crocodile
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a really mischievous-looking crocodile made out of some soft and fluffy material.  It has a wry grin and brown, clear eyes made of glass.  The crocodile seems uncannily alive and doesn't really invite any cuddling.

appraise_text:
The green fluffy crocodile is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: pea bag frog
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This pea bag frog is made out of some soft and fluffy fabric containing peas or something similar.  It has a a smug grin and bulging eyes made of large, yellow buttons.  This lovely thing is remarkably well done and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.

appraise_text:
The pea bag frog is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of cloth and plush.


item_name: plump seven-handed demon
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a small, soft seven-handed demon.  It is covered with an expensive blood red satiny fabric and overstuffed to make it very plump and well-rounded.  Each hand has five tiny little pin-sized claws and the demon has a tiny pair of very sharp horns on its head.  However, it doesn't seem to appreciate its position with an unpleasant grimace on its face and the ghost of a wisp of steam rising from each ear.

appraise_text:
The plump seven-handed demon is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of satin and plush.


item_name: small cuddly feef
appraise_text: The small cuddly feef is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is dressed in traditional feef costume, featuring a blue and black stripy jumper, black trousers with extra pockets for hiding things in, boots, a cloak and a large duffle bag in which to store ill-gotten gains.  Wearing dark cotton gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints and prevent a pale flash of skin giving it away in the dark of the night, it's also holding a crowbar to aid in breaking and entering.  It would look less like a lemming if only it didn't get heavied quite so often.


item_name: small cuddly fool
appraise_text: The small cuddly fool is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is dressed in the standard attire for a member of the Guild of Fools and Joculators and College of Clowns: baggy trousers, huge shoes, a fake red nose, and a colourful wig.  It looks extremely mournful, as if not even the cuddliest cuddle could cheer it up.


item_name: small cuddly godbotherer
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is dressed in an impressive priests robe of sky-blue.  It's holding a block of incense and a set of prayer beads that are glowing radiantly, and has a prayer book or two, some holy water and a silver flail tucked away in easily accessible places.  It would look less like a lemming if only it didn't pray quite so often.

appraise_text:
The small cuddly godbotherer is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: small cuddly hag
appraise_text: The small cuddly hag is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is dressed in traditional witchy garb, consisting of a large black hat, a basic black dress, tough hob-nailed boots (black) and, the give away, red and white stripy tights just like Esme's.  It is armed with a sturdy looking broomstick and seems to have large dollops of honey and several bottles of scumble within easy reach.  It would look less like a lemming if only it could cultivate more warts.  Unfortunately, with skin as smooth as that, it's unlikely to happen.


item_name: small cuddly newbie
appraise_text: The small cuddly newbie is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is a bit wet behind the ears, so its clothes are a mix of what you'd expect from priests, witches, wizards and the like.  Which leads to interesting combinations of a robe with random chunks of armour, a pair of stripy tights and pink frilly underwear.  It's holding a heavy sword and wearing a womble brooch.  It would look less like a lemming if only it learnt not to jump on passing bandwagons.


item_name: small cuddly ssasswot
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is neatly dressed in black silk, and armed with an array of sharp pointy things.  It would look ominous if not for the fact that, underneath all the silk and steel, lurks a creature with a curious resemblance to a small lemming.  It is supposed to appear stylishly unhuggable.  It doesn't.

appraise_text:
The small cuddly ssasswot is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: small cuddly warrior
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is dressed in a skimpy loincloth and various mis-matched pieces of armour.  It's holding a huge sword in one hand, and an even bigger shield in the other.  Its muscles and tendons seemed strained almost to breaking point, and it's coiled like a spring waiting to...well...spring.  It would look less like a lemming if only it wasn't so dim.

appraise_text:
The small cuddly warrior is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: small cuddly wizzie
appraise_text: The small cuddly wizzie is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy is dressed in traditional wizzie robes with as many sequins, sparkly bits and bright colours as is possible to fit onto that amount of fabric.  Given its girth, it's quite a lot of fabric, too.  It's holding a stout staff made of sapient pearwood and is carrying nourishment for those moments between meals when it could be caught short of an essential calorie or two.  It would look less like a lemming if only it wasn't for the lemming expression it has on its face.


item_name: small furry womble
appraise_text: The small furry womble is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This brown and cuddly womble is made out of some soft and fuzzy material.  A nicely patterned vest and an elegant pair of reading glasses complete its outfit.  Its eyes are brown, clear and made of glass.  The womble is remarkably well made and seems almost alive.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.


item_name: snuggly little giant spider
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a fearsome, yet snuggly little giant spider, its fearsomeness only slightly hampered by the fact that it is not much larger than your hand, and made from some kind of fluffy black material with tiger stripes on the back.  It has thousands of tiny red glass eyes and looks remarkably well made.  You could really spend a whole day cuddling it.

appraise_text:
The snuggly little giant spider is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: soggy curious squid
appraise_text: The soggy curious squid is about four inches long and about four inches wide. It is made of plush.
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a strange, yet cute curious squid.  It is covered with a rubbery white material that feels oddly damp to touch.  Each tentacle is made of the same material with little sequins sewn on one side.  It has a pair of large, limpid black eyes that make it look unbelievably sad.


item_name: small, salt-encrusted peanut
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From the ferry t-shop snack shop and some pub counters.
description:
This is a small, hard peanut-shaped thing.  It might possibly be an actual peanut, but it is hard to tell under the thick layer of salt and other, less easily identified, substances that coat it.  There's only one way to find out.


item_name: glossy label [random slogan]
appraise_text: The glossy label is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 3 g
description:
This is a small label, slightly glossy, with the words "[random slogan]" printed on it in barely smudged letters.  It looks like you could stick it just about anywhere.


item_name: large bronze letter
appraise_text: The large bronze letter is not very long and not very wide. It is made of bronze.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a large letter [letter] cast in solid bronze.  It is slightly tarnished with age and worn at the edges.  It is the sort of thing that is used to create signs over shops and other such buildings.


item_name: small bronze key
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small key, far too small to fit in a door.  It looks like one of those keys that little kids have for their diaries and secret boxes.

appraise_text:
The small bronze key is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of bronze.


item_name: caged ironwood case
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
About the size of an average pint of one's favourite drink, this handsomely crafted case is used to hold something much more arcane.  The artifact itself seems to have been made from petrified wood; so petrified, in fact, it still seems to be shaking.  The terrified wood is kept locked in a cage of various metals including octiron.  Whether or not the caging is meant to protect you or the case, however, has yet to be seen.  At every intersection of metalwork, a tiny gem has been placed which captures and reflects all available light in a sparkling array of colour.  It is in perfect condition.  There is no ink in the well.  It contains no paper.  It radiates pure octarine brilliance.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.

appraise_text:
The caged ironwood case is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ironwood.


item_name: demure black skirt suit
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
Neat and unfussy, this elegantly cut cashmere jacket and pencil skirt creates an image of reassuring competence and unthreatening femininity.  The Guild of Assassins crest embroidered neatly on the breast pocket in dark silver thread, however, may bring this impression somewhat into question.

appraise_text:
The demure black skirt suit is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cashmere and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: elegant midnight black suspender belt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This elegant black silk suspender belt with its cobweb lace detailing does a lot more than caress the wearer's thighs to hold her stockings up.  This is the femme fatale equivalent to the much more masculine utility belt.  Disguised behind the soft silk are four silk pouches, useful for holding the sorts of small, ingenious items that are an important part of the Assassin's craft.  Embroidered over the right hip in sophisticated italics are the words "Assassin Provocateur".  Definitely a piece designed to set poison-laiden pulses racing....

appraise_text:
The elegant midnight black suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is midnight black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: alluring midnight black demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk the colour of night overhead, accented with black cobweb lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and matching bows, one at the base of each black strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring midnight black demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is midnight black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: dead mouse
description: A small white mouse, very dead and slightly chewed, evidently a future meal for some carnivore.
weight: 4/9 lb
appraise_text:
The dead mouse is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: dramatic wild thyme suspender belt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This dramatic thyme-violet silk suspender belt with its cobweb lace detailing does a lot more than caress the wearer's thighs to hold her stockings up.  This is the femme fatale equivalent to the much more masculine utility belt.  Disguised behind the soft silk are four silk pouches, useful for holding the sorts of small, ingenious items that are an important part of the Assassin's craft.  Embroidered over the right hip in sophisticated italics are the words "Assassin Provocateur".  Definitely a piece designed to set poison-laiden pulses racing....

appraise_text:
The dramatic wild thyme suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is wild thyme and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: alluring wild thyme demi-cup bra
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This mesmerisingly hypnotic creation by designer label "Assassin Provocateur" is an underwired half cup bra in soft, smooth silk.  The glowing purple, fresh and dramatic like a flower in the moors, is accented with deep green cobweb lace. The bra is finished with taffeta ribbon details and matching bows, one at the base of each narrow strap and one between the cups.  The deft cut of the cups lets the wearer's breasts sit in the cups like two ripe fruits ready to be plucked....

appraise_text:
The alluring wild thyme demi-cup bra is about six inches long and about a foot wide.  It is light purple and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: pair of drop-dead gorgeous wild thyme briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Soft and fresh as moorland flower petals, these briefs from the "Assassin Provocateur" range are enough to make grown men weep.  Picked out with deep green cobweb lace across the silk, with twining ribbons forming a V-shape from each hip to the crotch at the front and back, the panties are finished with a tiny taffeta bow at each hip.  This piece of lingerie is to die for, and in the case of any possible theft, we hope literally.

appraise_text:
The pair of drop-dead gorgeous wild thyme briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is wild thyme and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: ivory brooch
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: From a grandmother.
description:
The brooch is made of expensive imported ivory, carved horribly ineptly -- the perfect gift to give when you want to let the recipient know that you paid a lot to annoy them.  The carving on it is of a couple of vaguely animalistic forms, possibly hippos, though one of them has lots of hair or spikes coming out from it.

appraise_text:
The ivory brooch is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of ivory and could be worn as armour.


item_name: pair of close-fitting shadowy grey briefs
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
Close-fitting, sharply designed, and uncompromisingly masculine, these snug silk briefs cling to every curve and angle.  A slim band of deep blue embroidery edges the broad waistband, just above the words "Assassin Provocateur" in hard-edged italics on the wearer's left hip.  Surely nobody could be concealing anything under there... for long.

appraise_text:
The pair of close-fitting shadowy grey briefs is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is shadowy grey and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: shadowy twilight suspender belt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This suspender belt, made from silk the colour of twilight with dove-grey lace panels and matching taffeta ribbon detailing, does a lot more than caress the wearer's thighs to hold her stockings up.  This is the femme fatale equivalent to the much more masculine utility belt.  Disguised behind the soft silk are four silk pouches, useful for holding the sorts of small, ingenious items that are an important part of the Assassin's craft.  Embroidered over the right hip in sophisticated italics are the words "Assassin Provocateur".  Definitely a piece designed to set poison-laden pulses racing....

appraise_text:
The shadowy twilight suspender belt is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is twilight grey and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: slim ivory calligraphy brush
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: 5a41729063d3a0af67ec44f5231c9039915a0c56
description:
This is an elegant ivory handled paintbrush, used primarily for calligraphy.  The long bristles are of wolf-hair, and are excellent at painting precise, clear strokes.

appraise_text:
The slim ivory calligraphy brush ia about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of some unidentiable material and could be used as a weapon.


item_name: [colour] ukulele
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Random colours given on Ukulele Day, August 23rd, each roundworld year.
description:
A silly-looking instrument, the ukulele mostly looks like a shrunken guitar.  It has four strings, producing a distinct twangy sound when plucked.  This particular ukulele has been painted [colour] and feels strangely light.

appraise_text:
The [colour] ukulele is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is [colour]and is made of wood and appears to be a musical instrument from the stringed family.


item_name: Heliodeliphilodelphiboschromenos candle
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a long white candle.  Along the length of the candle is written in large red letters: Heliodeliphilodelphiboschromenos.  These 'Helio' candles are known for their long burn time.

appraise_text:
The Heliodeliphilodelphiboschromenos candle is about two and a half feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wax and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: pair of rainbow striped knee socks
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Knitted in soft lambswool, these socks offer both style and comfort.  Stripes in all the colours of the rainbow wind around the legs, with the skill of the knitter made apparent in the smoothness of the joins.

appraise_text:
The pair of rainbow striped knee socks is about two feet long and about three inches wide.  It is rainbow-striped and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: McSweeney's Restaurants staff badge
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A rectangular clip-on McSweeney's Restaurants staff badge, it is bright red and has the company logo printed in one corner.  Everyone employed by the chain is expected to wear one of these badges whenever they're working for them.  It has a row of three empty holes on it.

appraise_text:
The McSweeney's Restaurants staff badge is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of cloth and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of large hairsticks
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
These hairsticks are perfect for those who want to make a statement with their hair.  Being extra-thick at the blunt end, they also need more length than usual to make a nice taper to the stick-in-hair end.

appraise_text:
The pair of large hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of black hairsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These hairsticks taper to a soft point at one end and are carved with decorative scrollwork at the other.  Lacquered to a glossy black, they would enhance any hairstyle.

appraise_text:
The pair of black hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of square hairsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These hairsticks have a square cross-section and are lacquered with a plain, clear gloss.  They would look lovely holding a head of hair up in a bun.

appraise_text:
The pair of square hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of red hairsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These red-lacquered hairsticks taper to a soft point at one end and are gilded with a delicate gold leaf pattern at the other.  They would go perfectly with a red and gold kimono, but would also work nicely as an accessory to other clothing.

appraise_text:
The pair of red hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of fine pearl hairsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These hairsticks are made from finely-carved dark wood, with narrow lacquered gold panels running along the length and some very fine pieces of mother-of-pearl at the thicker ends.

appraise_text:
The pair of fine pearl hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of ribboned hairsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The simple shape of these hairsticks is enhanced by colourful ribbons attached to the ends.  Sanded smooth but left plain and unlacquered, they work well for everyday wear.

appraise_text:
The pair of ribboned hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of wooden hairsticks
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
These slender wooden hairsticks are polished to a lovely shine and would look very nice stuck in your hair.

appraise_text:
The pair of wooden hairsticks is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: wine red sleeveless T-shirt
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This close-fitting T-shirt, the deep red of good Quirmian wine, outlines every rippling muscle.  It's enough to make young girls squee and grown men swoon, and would practically make a perfect centrefold in itself.  The AP monogram, showing that this is part of the exclusive "Assassin Provocateur" designer label, has been embroidered on the left breast in dark grey thread.

appraise_text:
The wine red sleeveless T-shirt is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is wine red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] chiton [simple]
weight: 1lb
description:
A simple square of fine linen, soft and loose, drapes gently around the body, fastening at the shoulders with an array of small silver pins.  Traditionally worn with a girdle to gather it in at the waist, the linen falls in soft folds across the wearer's shoulders, and brushes their ankles.

appraise_text:
The [colour] chiton is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is [colour] and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: tiny note
appraise_text: The tiny note is about three inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From within a tiny message cylinder.
description:
This is a tiny piece of paper, headed with the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.  It appears to have something written on it.


item_name: tiny message cylinder
description: This is a tiny message cylinder. It bears the insignia of the Ohulan-Cutash Post Office.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Delivered by carrier pigeon from a post office.
appraise_text:
The tiny message cylinder is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or two items.


item_name: dog-eared brown book
weight: between 1 1/9 lb and 1 2/9 lb
description:
This is a pocket-sized brown book, rather dog-eared on its corners.  It looks as though it may have passed through several generations of the mountain villagers.  It appears to have something written on it: Thee Art of Goat Cheese Mayking.  A Prymer for Begynners.

appraise_text:
The closed dog-eared brown book is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: Agatean Empire citizenship papers
weight: 8 g
description:
A slip of paper with official-looking Agatean characters and a large seal.  It appears to have something written on it.

appraise_text:
Some Agatean Empire citizenship papers is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: elegant [colour] silk waistcoat
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
Made from fine [colour] Agatean silk and cut in neat, clean lines that won't distract from the wearer's physique, this waistcoat fastens with simple [metal] buttons.

appraise_text:
The elegant [colour] silk waistcoat is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  t can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: starfish
appraise_text: The starfish is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide. It is made of starfish.
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a giant silvery-coloured starfish.  It is about the size of your head, and the bright colour ensures it could be easily seen from a distance.  There appears to be a small hole on the underside of the starfish.  Perhaps it was once hung as a trophy?


item_name: funereal top hat
weight: 1lb
description:
Tall and sombre, this hat is both imposing in its respectability and dignified in its simplicity.  Despite its spotlessly clean surface it carries a faint and indelible impression of grave-dirt, cobwebs, and the everpresent shadow of mortality.  The funereal top hat has one inside pocket.

appraise_text:
The funereal top hat is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: pair of [colour] silk boxer shorts
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Quite close-fitting, with an elasticated waistband and a single bone button to fasten the fly, these boxer shorts look comfortable and stylish.

appraise_text:
The pair of beige silk boxer shorts is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is beige and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: blackened stiletto
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This slender knife has been skilfully made from black steel, the blade and handle perfectly balanced.  The blade itself tapers in a graceful curve to a sharp point. The handle has been designed for an easy hold, but also stylishly carved with an embossed Guild of Assassins crest.

appraise_text:
The blackened stiletto is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: red hot
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes your CBB effect when eaten.
description:
Round and red, this candy is one of the famous Agatean Red Hots.  It's a perfect little ball of spicy yum-yum goodness and likely capable of putting out any other flame around.  Of course, there might not be much of you left if you eat a sweety of volcanic proportions.


item_name: violet mint
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes your garlic breath when eaten.
description:
Violet in colour, it smiles at you weakly as if it knows its own fate.  Great care was taken into making this perfectly rounded sphere of mintiness.


item_name: Youth of Sto Lat [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Youth of Sto Lat Wine.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large, azure stained glass bottle is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Finest Ladies Kisses White Wine [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Ladies' Kisses White Wine.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large, azure stained glass bottle is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Young Boy's Peaches [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Young Boy's Peaches.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large, azure stained glass bottle is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 1 gallon.


item_name: Djelian Nights [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Djelian Nights.  It is completely full.  It is open.


item_name: Sacred Grove [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Sacred Grove.  It is completely full.  It is open.


item_name: Ephebian Red [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Last Year's Ephebian Red.  It is completely full.  It is open.


item_name: Golden Ephebian Wine [wine]
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This tall, hand-blown bottle has been stained with drops of azure paint in seemingly random strokes, giving it a slightly chilled and frost-covered appearance. A neatly calligraphed label identifies it as a product of Zosimos' Wine Shop on Paradox Avenue, Ephebe.  The large, azure stained glass bottle is completely full with some Golden Ephebian.  It is completely full.  It is open.


item_name: pink bow
description: A nice pink bow. It would look terribly cute worn in your hair.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Received on Pink Bow Day - November 10th.
appraise_text:
The pink bow is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: brass feather
appraise_text: It is made of leather and brass and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This is an elegant feather that appears to have come from a brass vulture, attached to a leather strap.  It doesn't seem to be detailed and it is solid and inflexible for a feather, but would serve as a piece of jewellery for someone who wanted to proclaim their faith.


item_name: [colour] cravat [Agatean silk]
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
The elegance of a good cravat lies mostly in its wearer's - or its wearer's valet's - skill at tying it.  Nevertheless, the quality of the dark lavender Agatean silk is evident to those who know how to look.

appraise_text:
The dark lavender cravat is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is dark lavender and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: packet of iridescent powder
appraise_text: The packet of iridescent powder is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A paper packet containing iridescent powder which could be added to a full tin of paint to make wonderful and exciting new additions to the world of home (or wherever) decoration!  This additive will make your paint become iridescent.


item_name: packet of rainbow speckles
appraise_text: The packet of rainbow speckles is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
A paper packet containing rainbow speckles which could be added to a full tin of paint to make wonderful and exciting new additions to the world of home (or wherever) decoration!  This additive will make your paint become rainbow-speckled.


item_name: large mug of Tsortean coffee with whiskey and cream
weight: about a pound and a half
description:
This is a mug, of the sort usually used to serve hot drinks such as coffee.  The mug of tsortean coffee is completely full with two cups of tsortean coffee.  It is completely full.

appraise_text:
The mug of tsortean coffee is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: cigar baklava, perfect for a late night sugar crash
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a rich, heavy pastry in the form of a rolled log of thin pastry, filled with a mix of ground almond, cinnamon, butter, sugar and a tempting array of spices.  It is soaked in a formidable syrup based primarily around sugar and lemon, and looks like it would be hard going to get through at one sitting.


item_name: delicious kebab, fast and cheap
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a long stick upon which pieces of meat have been skewered.  It is roasted and seasoned with tahini sauce.


item_name: boar spear
weight: 10lb
description:
The long blackened wood handle of this spear has a thin blade attached to the end, sharp on both sides but also featuring a sharp point and the profile of a spear head.  Ideal for impaling pigs, even the heavily armoured ones, this is the weapon of a true hunter.

appraise_text:
The boar spear is about six and a half feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: [adjective] [metal] corridor necklace [finesmithing]
appraise_text: It is made of [metal] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 16 g
special_find_note: Player made from finesmithing, religious jewellery pattern book.
description:
A fine [metal] chain supports a [metal] corridor, sculpted with superb skill and precision.  The corridor seems to stretch away from the viewer, its perspective executed with such talent as to draw the viewer to a setting for a tiny gem, which twinkles at the distant end, symbolising the reward of a long journey.  Sandelfon himself would be honoured to wear such a pendant.


item_name: toy growler [build-a-bear]
appraise_text: The toy growler is not very long and not very wide. It is made of some unidentifiable material.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a voice-box, or growler.  There appears to be a small imp inside with a length of cord tied firmly to one leg.  The imp has been trained to memorise noises perfectly and to recite them when it feels a tug on the cord.  It could be pressed into the stuffing of a cuddly toy.  The imp has memorised no noises and is eager to get started.


item_name: cotton furoshiki cloth
description: This is a cotton furoshiki cloth, perfect for wrapping presents in.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The cotton furoshiki cloth is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 25 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: silk furoshiki cloth
description: This is a silk furoshiki cloth, perfect for wrapping presents in.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The silk furoshiki cloth is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of silk and cotton and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 25 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: small compact
appraise_text: The small compact is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of tin.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small, battered compact.  It has the usual small mirror inside, but instead of a powder tray, it has a dial beneath it with a number of settings.  The compact is currently set to "off".


item_name: large gourd
weight: 1 5/9 lbs
description:
This is a large rounded gourd of the variety used to fetch, carry and store liquids around the home.  Apparently the flesh of the fruit before it is hollowed out can be quite tasty too.  A thick leather strap has been attached to the gourd, such that it can be slung over one shoulder.  A piece of cork is attached to the gourd's neck and can be used to plug and unplug it.

appraise_text:
The large gourd is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of leather and gourd and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint. 


item_name: delicate hyaline amulet
appraise_text: It is made of crystal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Tiny and delicate, this pendant has been made from uncountable threads of clouded crystal, cold to the touch.  They weave around each other in a complex pattern, reminiscent one moment of brambles or ivy and the next of falling snow or the surface of a mountain stream.  It hangs from a smooth ribbon, with a silver-white sheen like ice, which wraps closely around the wearer's neck.


item_name: stuffed alligator [small]
description: The traditional stuffed alligator. What wizardly workshop would be complete without one?
weight: 11 1/9 lb
special_find_note: No longer exists - was in Sadel Noctis shop, got replaced with a better, different version.
appraise_text:
The stuffed alligator is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: block of sulphur
description: Some sulphur, about one block.
weight: 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
One block of sulphur is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of sulphur.


item_name: bottle of linseed oil
description: This is a small clear glass bottle. It is closed.
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The small clear bottle is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, four items, or about 1 shot.


item_name: summer's night coat
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
Thick, glossy silk, the deep blue of an August night by the sea, wraps elegantly from shoulders to knees.  Severely and elegantly plain, the line is unmarred by decoration or pockets. The lining is a rich dark gold, embroidered all across its surface with lilies and roses in matching thread.

appraise_text:
The summer's night coat is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is deep blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: cloudberry pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a large, sweet, homemade cloudberry pie.  The golden pastry is lightly sprinkled with brown sugar, and the soft cloudberry filling smells delightful.


item_name: ripe cloudberry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 10 g
description:
This golden-orange berry is formed of several small lobes clustered together, giving a jewel-like effect.


item_name: punnet of cloudberries
weight: between 2/9 lb and 3/9 lb
description:
This is a small box, open at the top, primarily used for putting berries and other squashy things in to stop them from being squished during storage or transport.  The cardboard punnet is about half full with six ripe cloudberries.

appraise_text:
The cardboard punnet is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or ten items.


item_name: cardboard punnet
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small box, open at the top, primarily used for putting berries and other squashy things in to stop them from being squished during storage or transport.

appraise_text:
The cardboard punnet is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or ten items.


item_name: bag of beeswax candles
weight: 10 g
description:
This bag is made from white, slightly-waxed paper.  While hardly the most durable of containers, it does at least appear to be strong enough to safely hold a number of small items.  The paper bag is about half full with fifteen beeswax candles.  It is open.


item_name: beeswax candle
weight: 1.5 g
description:
This is a small candle, like you'd see on a birthday cake.  It is quite soft and squidgy.  It is not currently lit.  It is new.

appraise_text:
The beeswax candle is about three inches long and not very wide.  It is made of wax and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: fish carved from varnish
weight: 0.25 g
description:
This is a small fish carved out of varnish.  By the the smell of it, the varnish was made from fish, so perhaps the artist was paying tribute to those pisceans who gave up their lives to be made into something for painting on furniture.  It has a small red label stuck on it.

appraise_text:
One fish carved from varnish is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: elegant ring
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 12 g
description:
This is a beautiful ring.  It somehow combines the brightness of the sun with the delicacy of snow.  It looks like it's made out of gold, but it is hard to tell.


item_name: set of [adjective] iron flanchards
weight: 4 4/9 lb
description:
These are two [adjective] metal plates that can be attached on either side of a saddle to protect the horse's flanks from attack.

appraise_text:
The set of [adjective] iron flanchards is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: ornate iron peytral
description: This [adjective] iron armour protects a horse's chest, rather like a breastplate.
weight: 8 8/9 lb
appraise_text:
The [adjective] iron peytral is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: [adjective] iron shaffron
description: This is a articulated metal plate meant to protect a horse's face in combat.
weight: 6 6/9 lb
appraise_text:
The articulated iron shaffron is about nine inches long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: [adjective] iron crupper
description: This is a large [adjective] piece of iron armour that protects a horse's hindquarters in combat.
weight: 13 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The [adjective] iron crupper is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: [adjective] iron crinet
description: This is an [adjective] set of metal plates that covers a horse's neck to deflect blows in combat.
weight: 6 6/9 lb
appraise_text:
The [adjective] iron crinet is about nine inches long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and could be worn as armour.


item_name: golden statuette
appraise_text: The golden statuette is about six inches long and about six inches wide. It is made of gold.
weight: 5lb
description:
This highly prized statue of a great Agatean Dragon has been superbly modelled, with great attention to detail.  Its muscular body and lithe, spiked tail are shown in a classical fighting stance.  One powerful claw grips its prey between razor-sharp talons.  The sculptor has intricately shaped each armoured scale, showing the high quality and even higher value of this golden statue.


item_name: strange needle
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a strange needle, made out of a shimmering, iridescent metal.  Its eye is almost microscopically sized, and it seems to vibrate extremely fast while, at the same time,  staying in one place.  If the rumours about octiron are true, throwing it would probably yield some information.

appraise_text:
The strange needle is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of octiron and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: formal pinstripe bathrobe
weight: 1 4/9 lb
description:
This bathrobe is the epitome of style and class, hand-tailored to resemble the finest Genuan evening wear.  It sports a brilliantly executed double breasted lapel, while the cuffs feature many buttons and buttonholes that are extremely decorative and, naturally, non-functional.  Anyone wearing this creation is guaranteed to be the best-dressed person fresh out of the shower.

appraise_text:
The formal pinstripe bathrobe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is dark grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: bag of sugar cubes
weight: less than a pound
description:
A small bag, made from waxed brown paper.  The small brown paper bag is about one-quarter full with twenty sugar cubes.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small brown paper bag is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: large bag of coffee beans
weight: about a pound
description:
A small bag, made from waxed brown paper.  The small brown paper bag is completely full with four large handfuls of coffee beans.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small brown paper bag is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eight items.


item_name: oiled leather thigh holster
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Plain and practical, this broad holster clasps around the upper thigh with a pair of brass-buckled straps.  Three sturdy loops will hold a selection of tools ready to the artificer's hand, and hold them close no matter what corners or odd positions he may have to contort himself into.  It could sheathe a jewellers tool, drawknife, brush, file, graving tool, screwdriver or gemcutting tool.

appraise_text:
The oiled leather thigh holster is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pink Rooter costume
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This costume is designed so your pet can dress up as Rooter, one of the Hogfather's magical flying pigs who pull his sleigh.  It's marvellously pink, and has cute floppy pig ears, and an adorable pink snout, and a delightful curly tail.

appraise_text:
The pink Rooter costume is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is pink and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: glittering white wand
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
You recognise the glittering white wand to be a wand of sugar-dusting.  This slim glitter-dusted wand is tipped with a sparkly star and a red ribbon bow.

appraise_text:
The glittering white wand is about nine inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: string of sausages
weight: 2 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This looks at first glance like a string of piping-hot sausages, made in the traditional Morporkian style from collagen, stale bread, herbs (or at least plants), grease, miscellaneous pig parts, and plenty of sizzle.  Mostly sizzle.  On closer inspection, it's actually made from carved and painted hardwood fastened by iron links.  You could probably do some serious damage with this, even if you used it to hit people rather than trying to eat it.

appraise_text:
The string of sausages is about three and a half feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and iron and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: large [colour] truffle
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 60 g
special_find_note: From truffle-hunting with pigs.
description:
This is a fine truffle found only in the forests scattered in the Ramtops.  This particular one is quite large and coloured [colour], and appears rather uncommon.


item_name: common [colour] truffle
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 45 g
special_find_note: From truffle-hunting with pigs.
description:
This is a fine truffle found only in the forests scattered in the Ramtops.  This particular one is average sized and coloured [colour], and looks fairly common.


item_name: small [colour] truffle
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 30 g
special_find_note: From truffle-hunting with pigs.
description:
This is a common truffle found only in the forests scattered in the Ramtops.  This particular one is quite small and coloured [colour], and might be worth something.


item_name: pink Snouter costume
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This costume is designed so your pet can dress up as Snouter, one of the Hogfather's magical flying pigs who pull his sleigh.  It's marvellously pink, and has cute floppy pig ears, and an adorable pink snout, and a delightful curly tail.

appraise_text:
The pink Snouter costume is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is pink and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: brightly painted wooden tooth fairy
weight: 5 g
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This delightfully traditional wooden Hogswatch ornament was quite possibly handmade by elves near Nothingfjord, and painted in bright cheerful colours according to the natural human impulse to do everything possible to keep the dark and chill of winter away.  This particular ornament looks exactly like Violet the tooth fairy, complete with stepladder and pliers.

appraise_text:
The brightly painted wooden tooth fairy is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: jolly elf mask
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This genuine rubber mask is perfect for anyone who wants to disguise themself as one of the Hogfather's elves, with its pointy ears, jolly red bobble hat at a jaunty angle, and two bright spots of colour on its apple cheeks.  Just don't let a real elf find out about it...

appraise_text:
The jolly elf mask is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: string of silver bells
weight: 10 g
description:
This is, functionally, a piece of string with a number of little silver - well, silverish - bells along its length.  Alas, (or possibly thank goodness) they have no clappers, but they still look very pretty and festive and twinkly.

appraise_text:
The string of silver bells is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of tin.


item_name: embroidered velvet saddlecloth
weight: 3lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
Thick and plush, this red velvet saddlecloth has been embroidered all over with a scattering of glittering snowflakes and twinkling stars.  The edges are trimmed with white fur, and a golden bauble hangs from each corner.

appraise_text:
The embroidered velvet saddlecloth is about five feet long and about five feet wide.  It is red and is made of velvet and silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: brightly painted wooden pine tree
weight: 5 g
description:
This delightfully traditional wooden Hogswatch ornament was quite possibly handmade by elves near Nothingfjord, and painted in bright cheerful colours according to the natural human impulse to do everything possible to keep the dark and chill of winter away.  This particular ornament looks exactly like the gigantic Skund pine that ravaged Sto Lat.  It would be perfect to put on the Hogswatch tree, if you happened to be the kind of person who relished both recursion and sadistic black humour.

appraise_text:
The brightly painted wooden pine tree is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood.


item_name: cute Hogfather costume
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This costume is designed so your pet can dress up as the Hogfather, in a little red outfit with a broad black belt, a pointy floppy hat, and a long white beard.

appraise_text:
The cute Hogfather costume is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is red and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: greyed timber wardrobe
weight: about sixty pounds
description:
This is a plain wardrobe made out of greyed timber planks, all unpolished and unadorned.  It's not very decorative, but it will last for some time, and stand around in an unassuming way in the bedroom.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The greyed timber wardrobe is about six and a half feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 94 pounds, or about one hundred and twenty items.


item_name: confused squirrel
appraise_text: You appraise the confused squirrel and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: 1 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This adorable red squirrel was enjoying a nap in the branches of his favourite tree, and then there was a lot of thrashing around and shouting, and then someone unwrapped the present he'd somehow got himself inside in his asleep.  Now he's still confused, but pretty happy to sit on someone's shoulder and see the Disc.


item_name: disgruntled owl
appraise_text: You appraise the disgruntled owl and mmmm, very sexy.
weight: 2 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This small brown owl had settled in for a peaceful session of contemplative thought after dinner - definitely not a snooze at all - when her tree was rudely uprooted and moved into a decidedly less salubrious neighbourhood.  She's decided to make the best of a bad lot and ride around on someone's shoulder for a while.  She's really a very lovely-looking owl, with soft brown feathers and huge yellow eyes.  Oddly, the feathers on her head form a kind of pointy hat.


item_name: velvet-cushioned saddle
weight: 7lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
Solidly built and luxuriously padded with deep red velvet cushions, this saddle is basically a kind of equestrian armchair trimmed with white fur and glittering baubles.

appraise_text:
The velvet-cushioned saddle is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is Hogswatch red and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: bottle of mulled wine
weight: about four pounds
description:
This is a large dark plum glass bottle.  The large dark plum bottle is completely full with one pint of mulled wine.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The large dark plum bottle is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: glass [object] bauble
weight: 5 g
description:
This delightfully traditional glass Hogswatch ornament was quite possibly hand-blown by elves near Nothingfjord, and shaped to glitter in any available light.  It would be perfect to put on the Hogswatch tree.

appraise_text:
The glass raven bauble is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of glass.


item_name: navy blue choli
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Made from navy blue silk, this close-fitting short-sleeved blouse is equally suitable for both everyday wear and more formal occasions.  Traditionally worn under a sari or paired with a long skirt, the elegant simplicity of its cut and design allow it to complement almost any outfit.

appraise_text:
The navy blue choli is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is navy blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: piece of extra-large wrapping paper
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a big piece of pretty taupe Hogswatch wrapping paper.  It looks like it could be used to wrap up something as a present.

appraise_text:
The piece of pretty taupe Hogswatch wrapping paper is about one hundred and twenty-five feet long and about one hundred and twenty-five feet wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 25 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: rare black truffle
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From truffle-hunting with pigs.
description:
This is an excellent truffle found only in the forests scattered in the Ramtops.  This particular one is black and looks quite rare.


item_name: prickly yet cute hedgehog
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This is a happy little hedgehog, wearing a tiny witch's hat and having not a care in the world.  It is made out of some soft and fluffy material - as long as you pet it in the right direction and attempt no funny business.  Its stumpy legs seem almost too small for its plump body, and its glass eyes watch the world with keen interest.

appraise_text:
The prickly yet cute hedgehog is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: iconographer's waistcoat
weight: 2lb
description:
Perfect for the serious iconographer, this many-pocketed waistcoat is made from tough grey-brown canvas.  It would hold lenses, frames, spare paintboxes, and the all-important bar of chocolate securely during any iconography assignment, from a Howondaland safari to a family picnic in the Tump.  The iconographer's waistcoat has one upper left front pocket, one lower right front pocket, one right breast pocket, one upper right front pocket, one lower left front pocket and one left breast pocket.

appraise_text:
The iconographer's waistcoat is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of canvas and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: [adjective] sugar basin [pottery]
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Cockbill street.
description:
This masterfully crafted sugar basin would be quite at home on the very fanciest of tea tables.  Its shape rounds out elegantly from the base and curves almost imperceptibly back inwards at the rim.

appraise_text:
The beautiful sugar basin is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: [adjective] milk jug [pottery]
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Cockbill street.
description:
This stylish milk jug has been expertly crafted, with a gracefully curving handle and a lip that would never even think of dripping.

appraise_text:
The stylish milk jug is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: [adjective] cow saucer [pottery]
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Royal Market.
description:
This beautiful saucer has been masterfully crafted into a two-dimensional representation of the face of a cow.  Comically exaggerated nostrils are balanced by the pathos of gently drooping ears beneath small horns that almost quiver with emotion, and eyes filled with quiet wisdom gaze solemnly outwards.

appraise_text:
The beautiful cow saucer is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: small cuddly adventurer
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This small and fluffy toy looks like it just arrived straight outta Pumpkin Town, wearing a fluffy cloak, leather breeches and a white linen tunic.  It brandishes a wooden spear in one hand and a torch in the other, somehow managing to hold on to an ice bucket with a bottle of wine as well.  Its bright glass eyes look around for quests, and it would look less like a lemming if it wasn't wearing orthopedic shoes from hell.

appraise_text:
The small cuddly adventurer is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of plush.


item_name: halberdic spear
weight: 10lb
special_find_note: This item was removed/renamed to a Boar Spear in 2020.
description:
This halberdic spear has the design of a halberd and the shape of a spear, with the functionality of both.  The long blackened wood handle has a thin blade attached to the end, sharp on both sides but also featuring a sharp point and the profile of a spear head.  Ideal for impaling pigs, even the heavily armoured ones, this is the weapon of a true hunter.

appraise_text:
The halberdic spear is about six and a half feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: huge tofu block
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 11 1/9 lb
description:
This is tofu; soy bean milk that has been formed into a block with a solidifier.  It's pale and wobbly-looking and full of protein.


item_name: sturdy drawstring bag
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This bag is made from densely-woven cotton canvas, with robust seams and a thick drawstring long enough to be tied around the bag when closing it, for extra security.

appraise_text:
The sturdy drawstring bag is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or ten items.


item_name: magnificent white magnificent cori truffle
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From truffle-hunting with pigs.
description:
Highly prized and virtually impossible to find.  The natural element with the richest fragrance, the white truffle of Celesti or tuber 'Magnatum Cori' is considered the diamond of the table.  A most precious gem, which originates from the depths of the earth and marks a unique and unrepeatable event each time.


item_name: pair of sheer black stockings
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
The translucent, filmy black silk of these stockings feels utterly insubstantial, like wearing cobwebs and starlight.  A broad band of moonlight silver satin runs around the top of each, embroidered in sophisticated italics with the words "Assassin Provocateur".

appraise_text:
The pair of sheer black stockings is about two feet long and about three inches wide.  It is black and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of garnet cufflinks
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
No gentleman would dream of wearing shirts with buttoned wrists, so cufflinks serve the purpose much more stylishly.  This particular set has medium-sized trilliant-cut garnet facings, showing the wearer to be a gentleman of taste and money, and would look very stylish with a light-coloured shirt.


item_name: torturer's apron
weight: 2lb
special_find_note: 7a522afffbe171f955dc7dbf3cf7ced33d8c7ffe
description:
This leather apron is covered in a multitude of blood stains, ranging from old and congealed to glisteningly fresh.    The torturer's apron has one left pocket and one right pocket.

appraise_text:
The torturer's apron is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or thirteen items.


item_name: red-gold wedding robe
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
This robe, worn by the groom on the wedding day, is made of thick red wool, lined with silk and embroidered with a complex pattern of interweaving dragons.  At the hem, the design becomes simple and geometrical, while toward the collar, the dragons become larger, until a single immense one writhes out of the mass of bodies and coils around both sleeves.  The sleeves are long and heavy, being slightly longer than arm length.  The collar is made from the silk lining, but is starched and embroidered to the point where it provides stiff support for the groom's neck.

appraise_text:
The red-gold wedding robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is red-gold and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: sky-blue wedding robe
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
This robe, normally worn by the bride on her wedding day, is of heavy light-blue fabric, embroidered in white and navy with a swirling seascape that starts near the ankles with sprites around a bobbing boat and winds up into a complicated abstract pattern along the shoulders, sleeves and cuffs.  The sleeves are layered, with an thin inner sleeve stretching the length of the arm and a thick outer sleeve ending above the elbow.

appraise_text:
The sky-blue wedding robe is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is sky-blue and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: dignified black coat
weight: 3lb
description:
This knee-length overcoat is simply cut and utterly undecorated apart from a narrow velvet collar.  The buttons are made from jet, and the pockets are deep enough for handkerchiefs to comfort dozens of grieving relatives.  The dignified black coat has one inside pocket and two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The dignified black coat is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or about twenty items.


item_name: hard candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Hardens your emotions (removes the emotional effects of red, yellow, blue, or green candies).
description:
This is a solid candy which is clear in colour.  This small, oval-shaped candy gleams from within happily.  You can just make out small colourful ribbons twirling through the centre of this candy.


item_name: origami Jade Hare
appraise_text: The origami Jade Hare is about six inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From a safe in BP.
description:
This intricately folded hare, complete with the mortar and pestle he uses to compound the elixirs of immortality, is constructed from a single sheet of jade-coloured paper.  With the twinkle in his almost-imagined eye, and the foppish tilt to one ear, he is truly a masterpiece of origami art.


item_name: [colour] [wood] ring [rose patterned] [woodworking]
appraise_text: It is made of wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
special_find_note: Player made from woodworking, Uberwaldean woodworking book.
description:
Slender and gently rounded, this [colour] [wood] ring would sit comfortably on the finger of any fair forest maid or greenwood lord.  A complex intertwining pattern of rose stems, complete with thorns, covers the surface between a number of detailed flowers.


item_name: star candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes your PMG effect when eaten.
description:
This is a solid candy which is clear in colour.  This small, star-shaped candy glows with an inner fire.  It would likely put anything else trying to shine to shame.  Oddly, however, it produces no light.


item_name: monochrome candy
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Removes your TMC effect when eaten.
description:
This is a small, soft candy.  Looking deep inside, you get the impression there are other colours trapped within, but the surface seems to be resolutely monochrome, unchanging and uniform.


item_name: [colour] [wood] ring [flat bezelled] [woodworking]
appraise_text: It is made of wood and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 5 g
special_find_note: Player made from woodworking, Uberwaldean woodworking book.
description:
Slender and gently rounded, this [colour] [wood] ring would sit comfortably on the finger of any prosperous burgher or merchant prince.  A ring of delicately carved beading surrounds a flat round bezel.


item_name: tealight
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small flat circular candle which sits in a flimsy metal dish.  It would be perfect to put in a lantern or lamp were there no fireflies about.

appraise_text:
The tealight is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wax and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: red cardboard box
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: 9b1326b29a19acd02d72b78f51b172b5dc8224fd
description:
This cardboard box is bright scarlet in colour.  It feels quite delicate, like it isn't meant to hold anything particularly substantial or endure being moved about much.

appraise_text:
The red cardboard box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or about thirty items.


item_name: lucky red [animal] envelope
weight: 1 g
special_find_note: 9b1326b29a19acd02d72b78f51b172b5dc8224fd
description:
This is a small, bright red envelope designed to hold a monetary gift for special occasions.  A shiny gold pattern of blooming flowers and exploding fireworks runs around the border, surrounding a beautiful depiction of a proud [animal].

appraise_text:
The lucky red [animal] envelope is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or five items.


item_name: dirty cotton shirt
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This shirt is made from thick white cotton, but that was a while ago.  Half its buttons are missing, the sleeves are going ragged, and the white has turned a mix of yellow and brown.

appraise_text:
The dirty cotton shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is yellow and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of old breeches
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of black breeches made of simple cloth.  Time and grime have not been kind to them, turning them worn and stained on top of their already unsophisticated look.

appraise_text:
The pair of old breeches is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: owl pellet
description: This is the dried up hair and bones of an owl's latest meal.
weight: 3/9 lb
appraise_text:
The owl pellet is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of bird droppings.


item_name: potted fuchsia
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
The startlingly pink flowers of this fuchsia plant, hanging down over the edge of the pot, will bring a splash of life and colour to any room.

appraise_text:
The potted fuchsia is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: potted fern
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
This small potted fern has delicate feathery fronds of forest green and can be kept both inside and in sheltered gardens.

appraise_text:
The potted fern is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: money plant
appraise_text: The money plant is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide. It is made of plant.
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
A small plant, with water-rich, plump, round leaves, the money plant is believed by Fung Shooey devotees to attract wealth.  However if you don't believe that, it also looks good and is very easy to take care of.


item_name: cactus plant
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
This tall, thin and very spiny cactus plant is perfect for the less green-fingered customer, as it needs very little maintenance.  It is also a great deterrent for nosy pets.

appraise_text:
The cactus plant is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: bamboo plant
weight: 4 4/9 lb
description:
This is a pot of bamboo.  It is a young plant and the stems are thin and green still with shoots bursting out all over.  Followers of the ancient art of Fung Shooey believe bamboo is a lucky plant to have in the home.

appraise_text:
The bamboo plant is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: cheese plant
weight: 4 4/9 lb
description:
With large leaves and the potential to grow and grow, this cheese plant is best suited for a large room, or perhaps a balcony and will bring a welcome touch of greenery wherever it is placed.

appraise_text:
The cheese plant is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: spider plant
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
This is a healthy, growing spider plant, its long and spiky pale green leaves trailing down over the edge of the pot and with a few small off-shoots already growing.

appraise_text:
The spider plant is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: jasmine plant
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
The delicate and fragile beauty of the blossoms on this plant is matched by the distinctive and soothing scent of jasmine they release, making this a popular plant to keep in the bedroom.

appraise_text:
The jasmine is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: black M&M clothing box
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This heavy black, glossy cardboard box is of the kind used to hold all the essentials for a formal occasion.  The intertwining gold M&M logo is burnished on the top of the box.

appraise_text:
The black M&M clothing box is about three feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: set of fluffy earmuffs
weight: 3/9 lb
special_find_note: From Pumpkin Town.
description:
These fluffy earmuffs are dyed in shades of lurid green, pink, blue and orange - the perfect accessory to... well, maybe not the perfect accessory but they sure will keep your ears warm, if you were to wear them that is.

appraise_text:
The set of fluffy earmuffs is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of fur and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: decorated smith's apron
weight: 1lb
description:
This lightweight, functional smith's apron is made of supple animal hide that has been tanned and dyed jet black.  Gold trim borders the apron, as well as each of the four spacious pockets, making it look about as aesthetically pleasing as an apron can hope to manage.  A small loop on the bottom corner of each side would allow for a couple of useful tools to be stowed, ready for easy access.  There are two loops free.  The decorated smith's apron has one middle-left pocket, one middle-right pocket, one left pocket and one right pocket.  It could sheathe a hammer, roll of jeweller's files, roll of gemcutting tools, brush, polishing file, graving tool or tongs.

appraise_text:
The decorated smith's apron is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 4 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: statue of Hat
appraise_text: The statue of Hat is about six feet long and about six feet wide. It is made of stone.
weight: about 500 pounds
special_find_note: f7662f41d34221c0101f9a7b3a39506ec841681d
description:
This is a statue of Hat, the Vulture-Headed God of Unexpected Guests.  It is without doubt the most grotesque statue you have ever had the misfortune to clap your eyes on.  Made of rough hewn stone and standing about six feet tall, His wings are lopsided and the nose defies description.


item_name: white backpack
description:
This is a small white backpack with a red cross stitched into its side, indicative of a backpack used for the storage of medical related items.


item_name: wooden flail
weight: 4 4/9 lb
description:
This practice flail has a short metal chain linking a solid wooden handle and a ball with wooden spikes.  Not as lethal as its metal counterparts, but when practicing, this seems like an ideal thing to use.

appraise_text:
The wooden flail is about three feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type flail.


item_name: wooden box
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is a heavy wooden box with a window on one side.  Looking through the window, you can see a tiny demon sat atop a tiny wooden stool, waiting eagerly to use his paints and easel.  You might be able to use it to take a picture.

appraise_text:
The wooden box is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: sheet of Raven House parchment
weight: 11 g
description:
This is a sheet of good quality parchment, embossed at the top with an unkindness of ravens perched in a tree, and the motto "Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre".  Clearly, someone thought that the image of the Guild was extremely important, to go to the effort of producing such a beautiful, smooth, translucent piece of soft supple skin as this.

appraise_text:
The sheet of Raven House parchment is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of parchment and paper.


item_name: large "The Shades in my Heart" banner
weight: about a pound
description:
This banner has been made from tough but rather grimy cotton cloth.  It's unclear what the original colour was, but now it's a sort of off-grey, with dark brownish-red splotches here and there.

appraise_text:
The large Shades banner is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of cotton and could be placed as furniture.


item_name: tweed waistcoat [pet cloak]
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a sturdy, tasteful, and jolly waistcoat made of the finest Ohulan tweed and fastened with brass buttons.  A tiny scrap of moss-green silk peeks from the almost-as-tiny breast pocket, and a minuscule brass chain disappears into a dainty watch pocket lower down.

appraise_text:
The tweed waistcoat is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is brown and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: shallow clothing box
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
Heavy and textured, this broad, shallow cardboard box is a pleasure to hold.  Embossed into the lower right-hand corner of the cream-coloured lid is a ducal coronet and the logo of Ankh-Morpork's most prestigious tailor.  Written in discreet gold italics: Grangrid, Graves, and Descendants.  By Appointment to His Grace the Duke of Ankh.

appraise_text:
The shallow clothing box is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 16 pounds, or six items.


item_name: barbaric fur-trimmed leather tunic
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
Made from thick warm hide trimmed with white fur around the neck, hem, and shoulders, this sleeveless tunic is designed to leave thighs and biceps free for weapon-work and admiration whilst still keeping those essential core muscles warm.

appraise_text:
The barbaric fur-trimmed leather tunic is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is brown and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: barbaric fur-trimmed leather gown
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
Long and sweeping, with a close-fitting bodice and a full circle skirt, this gown is made from tanned hides with the fur faced inwards for warmth.  The piecing leaves lines of white fur standing out stark against the deep brown leather, and a ruff of fur rings the high collar.  Stiffened points jut out from each shoulder, forming an imposing silhouette whilst leaving the biceps free for weapon-work.

appraise_text:
The barbaric fur-trimmed leather gown is about five feet long and about a foot wide.  It is brown and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: rugged leather back scabbard
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This sword harness is made of sturdy, dark brown leather and held together by hefty steel buckles.  Fastening across the chest and with a thick strap over one shoulder for stability, it looks like it can securely support even the largest of two-handed swords.  It could sheathe a sword.

appraise_text:
The rugged leather back scabbard is about four feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: stiff leather parade jacket
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This parade jacket has been designed to look shiny, fancy, immaculate and lots of other words that have nothing to do with comfort or practicality.  The leather is thin but stiff, and has been tanned a rich brown colour.  Tan epaulettes adorn the shoulders and several assorted brass chains hang across the left breast, presumably to get in the way and catch on one's other clothing.  The only real concession to utility is a pair of leather straps stitched into the back of the garment.  As long as the jacket is tightly fastened, they should allow one to wear a ceremonial sword of considerable size without the need for any unsightly additional scabbard or bandolier.  It could sheathe a sword.

appraise_text:
The stiff leather parade jacket is about three and a half feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: long rose-coloured duelling coat
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is the perfect coat for a bit of sword play.  It is loose but form fitting in the torso area and flares at the hips to give plenty of room for movement to the feet.  Made of a padded double layer of velvet, and lined with midnight green silk, the cuffs are oversized and the collar stands to give a dangerous yet stylish look.  The long rose-coloured duelling coat has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The long rose-coloured duelling coat is about six feet long and about a foot wide.  It is rose-coloured and is made of velvet and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or twelve items.


item_name: white musketeer's hat
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This white felt hat has a tall crown and an extravagantly floppy brim, pinned up on one side with a kilt pin.  It bears the remaining half of a peacock feather, showing the wearer to be a gentleperson of exquisite martial fashion.  Unfortunately, the elegance of this once very expensive musketeer's hat has been marred by the fact that it is clearly two halves of different hats inexpertly stitched together.

appraise_text:
The white musketeer's hat is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is white and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: oiled leather waist sling
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This sling is essentially a pair of oiled leather straps, one of which wraps around the wearer's waist, and the other around their hips.  Connecting the two straps is a long cylinder of the same treated leather that can hold a polearm or similar-shaped object in a vaguely vertical position.  It won't be the most comfortable thing to wear, but it should get the job done and give you easy access to a weapon when you need it most.  It could sheathe a staff, polearm, scythe or javelin.

appraise_text:
The oiled leather waist sling is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: fur-lined elk skull helmet
weight: 4lb
description:
The skull of this fearsome but long-deceased elk has been lined with Hubland bear fur for warmth and comfort.  The animal's teeth have been filed to sharp points, so that the nasal bone throws an intimidatingly fanged shadow across the wearer's face, and the spreading rack of antlers demonstrates the proud Hublandish barbarian's contempt for such civilised niceties as narrow doorways.  It's not the most protective of headwear, but it looks terrifying and it will definitely keep your head warm.

appraise_text:
The fur-lined elk skull helmet is about three feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of bone and could be worn as armour.


item_name: short [colour] jacket
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
Snappily cut, with a wide stiff collar and broad lapels, this waist-length jacket fastens with two shiny [metal] buttons.  The short [colour] jacket has one inside pocket and one breast pocket.

appraise_text:
The short [colour] jacket is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is midnight black and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or eleven items.


item_name: lily handled cake knife
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This long-bladed knife is perfect for cutting large cakes into many small slices.  Its blade is broad but thin, in order to avoid any damage to the icing or to the cake itself.   The handle has been decorated in a beautifully naturalistic lily pattern, with long petals stretching fluidly from the base of the blade to the end of the handle.

appraise_text:
The lily handled cake knife is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: heart handled cake knife
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This long-bladed knife is perfect for cutting large cakes into many small slices.  Its blade is broad but thin, in order to avoid any damage to the icing or to the cake itself.   The handle features a design of two stylised hearts, joined together with an intricate ropework band.

appraise_text:
The heart handled cake knife is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: diamante cake knife
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This long-bladed knife is perfect for cutting large cakes into many small slices.  Its blade is broad but thin, in order to avoid any damage to the icing or to the cake itself.   The handle is inset with tiny clear crystals that sparkle in the light.

appraise_text:
The diamante cake knife is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: occult moon diadem
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Technically, only one of the moons on this diadem is actually occulted, but all of them are definitely occult, for what could be more evocative of the mysterious feminine magic and ancient mystique of womanhood than the moon in its waxing and waning?  Also, despite being a slim strip of silver that curls around the wearer's forehead and temples, it is very definitely not a tiara.  Tiaras are worn by pretty popular girls who go to dances with boys, not by fierce and independent-minded witches who wield the time-honoured power of womanhood.


item_name: moonstone silver bracelet
weight: 3/9 lb
description:
This bracelet entwines itself around the wearer's arm in blackened, antique silver in the shape of vines.  Here and there, a fragile leaf has been wrought, and the moonstone, a teardrop shape of shimmering silver, is trapped in the centre of the writhing mass.

appraise_text:
It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, four items, or less than a shot.


item_name: rosewood jewellery box
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a small box made for containing jewellery.  The body is made from rosewood, with polished brass hinges and screws.  The lid features a marquetry design of a bunch of flowers.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The rosewood jewellery box is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rosewood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: pair of black silk evening gloves
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Simple and unadorned, the thin silk allows every lingering touch on a beau's hand to be felt with no loss of sensation, and the timeless style ensures that these gloves will never go out of fashion.  The seams are a little thick, perhaps, but that's due less to any clumsiness on the seamstress's part than to the four lockpick sheaths sewn in.

appraise_text:
The pair of black silk evening gloves is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small shell pink amphora
weight: about seven pounds
description:
Crafted from fine clay and glazed with a fragile shade of shell pink, this small amphora has been decorated with a floral pattern in pale eggshell white.  A work of fine quality, no doubt intended for an expensive scent or oil, it has tall handles, and its round stopper has been attached to the neck with a creamy pink braided ribbon.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The small shell pink amphora is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, seven items, or about 4 shots.


item_name: black octagonal plate
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is a nicely lacquered black octagonal plate, the sort usually used to serve meals in restaurants.  You could probably eat from it, if it contained food.

appraise_text:
The black octagonal plate is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of pottery.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: papers box
description: A flat rectangular box with a hinged lid on one end. It looks perfect for storing papers in.
weight: 2/9 lb
appraise_text:
The papers box is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: [adjective] gaiwan [pottery]
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Sung estate.
description:
The bell-shaped bowl of this gaiwan flares beautifully, and nestles perfectly into its matching saucer.  The lid settles onto its bowl like a tea leaf drifting down into an Emperor's teapot and the pages of history.

appraise_text:
The [adjective] gaiwan is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, twelve items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: [adjective] flask [pottery]
weight: 1lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Sung estate.
description:
Exquisitely shaped in the form of a gourd, with a gently ribbed surface that's a delight to hold, this stylish flask sits lightly in the hand.

appraise_text:
The [adjective] flask is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: [adjective] tanuki statue [pottery]
weight: 1 6/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Sung estate.
description:
This statue depicts an adorably moon-faced tanuki, his large eyes (signifying judgment and observation) bulging comically beneath his turtle-shell hat, which symbolises protection against metaphorical bad weather.  His face is occupied mostly by a huge friendly smile, which symbolises a huge friendly smile, and he holds a sake bottle (virtue) and an empty purse (trust and confidence) clutched to his immensely round belly (which symbolises prosperity and calmness).  Any business displaying this friendly and symbolic fellow outside will surely prosper, at least if they have customers with a proper understanding of symbolism.

appraise_text:
The [adjective] tanuki statue is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of clay and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: [adjective] incense burner [pottery]
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Sung estate.
description:
Elegant and precise, this incense burner is truly a masterwork of the potter's art.  Six perfectly straight and smooth sides rise from a flat base, forming a beautifully proportioned hexagonal tower.  A gently curved hemisphere forms the cap, pierced with a dozen tiny holes around its rim for the smoke to rise to the heavens.

appraise_text:
The [adjective] incense burner is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or three items.


item_name: [adjective] cabbage teacup [pottery]
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Royal Market.
description:
A stylish teacup made of pottery so fine it's almost translucent.  It is shaped beautifully, like the interwoven young leaves at the heart of a fresh cabbage... really, it must be from Sto Lat.

appraise_text:
The fine cabbage teacup is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.   It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, twelve items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: [adjective] cow teacup [pottery]
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, Royal Market.
description:
This beautiful teacup has been masterfully formed in the shape of a cow.  Four cute little hooves poke out at the base, and a long tail curves elegantly to form the handle.  An adorable bovine face has been moulded onto the side opposite the tail - you can almost hear it moo.

appraise_text:
The [adjective] cow teacup is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.   It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, twelve items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: [adjective] teacup [pottery]
description: An artistically formed pottery teacup.
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from pottery, all except Zaxiteles.
appraise_text:
The [adjective] teacup is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: blue lacquered bar
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a stout bar, perfect for placing drinks and bottles on while their contents are waiting to be consumed and poured.  Lacquered a Djelian blue and decorated with dancing geishas and flowing fountains, this is definitely a piece that was made with an aristocratic home in mind.  There is nothing on the blue lacquered bar.

appraise_text:
The blue lacquered bar is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of lacquer and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 40 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: broken pine tabletop
weight: 7 6/9 lb
description:
This is one half of a tabletop that has been broken lengthways down the middle.  It is covered with all sorts of stains, which might cause one to wonder whether its former home was a bar, an alchemist's workroom or both.

appraise_text:
The broken pine tabletop is about four feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a part of a wall.


item_name: terracotta tile
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
Made from terracotta, this tile would not look out of place on the rooves of sunny Djelibeybi.  Instead, the layer of grime and soot on it suggests that it has spent some time protecting a house in the Big Wahoonie.

appraise_text:
The terracotta tile is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of clay and looks like it can be used in a loft as a roof tile.


item_name: tiny cue card
appraise_text: The tiny cue card is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: From Lancre postal receipt.
description:
This is a tiny cue card.  It appears to have something written on it:  There is some mail from [player] wot is waiting for you.  Go to a post office to read it.


item_name: greyed timber table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
This is a plain table made out of greyed timber planks, unpolished.  It's not very decorative, but it will last for some time, and stand around in an unassuming way in the kitchen.  There is nothing on the greyed timber table.

appraise_text:
The greyed timber table is about seven feet long and about six feet wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: oak bed
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This bed could sleep two, but it would be a tight squeeze.  It has been crafted from oak and looks sturdy enough to last for generations.  An oak leaf pattern has been carved down the length of the frame on each side, and a comfortable mattress of duck down gives the bed a plush look.  The headboard and frame of the bed could be painted and decorated to suit any decor.  There is nothing on the oak bed.

appraise_text:
The oak bed is about six and a half feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 10 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: large ash table
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This is a large wooden table, made of the finest white ash.  The legs are curved towards the outside, then again in the opposite direction before touching the floor, resulting in a shape somewhat like the letter "S".  They're also sculptured in a motif resembling leaves.  There is nothing on the large ash table.

appraise_text:
The large ash table is about five feet long and about four and a half feet wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 55 pounds, or about ninety items.


item_name: dark cherry wood table
weight: about twenty pounds
description:
Long alternating strains of burgundy, purple and brown run through the length of this large table, creating a lovely mottled stain which bleeds out into the room and captures the attention of anyone nearby.  Its legs are long, thick and gnarled, carved into the shape of four yawning lions ready to gobble up any stray scraps that may fall from above.  There is nothing on the dark cherry wood table.

appraise_text:
The dark cherry wood table is about six feet long and about four feet wide.  It is made of cherry wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 33 pounds, or about forty items.


item_name: gnarled pine door
weight: 11 1/9 lb
special_find_note: b7d1c631bde34be141b8db19b255b5ba59d374ad
description:
This pine door is full of knots which gives it an unattractive mottled look.  The bottom part is also starting to rot.

appraise_text:
The gnarled pine door is about six feet long and about two and a half feet wide.  It is made of pine and looks like it can be added to a loft as a door.


item_name: peeling tile
weight: 2lb
description:
This is a cheap, unglazed tile made from clay.   The paint on it is peeling, revealing layers of different colours, none of them particularly attractive.

appraise_text:
The peeling tile is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like it can be used in a loft as a roof tile.


item_name: warped wooden post
weight: 7 1/9 lb
description:
This long wooden post is so warped that any house it is used to support runs the risk of being classed as one of BS Johnson's.

appraise_text:
The warped wooden post is about six and a half feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a support.


item_name: privy door
weight: 12lb
description:
Pity this door.  It has spent a life-time serving as the entrance and exit to a privy and even sports the traditional half-moon cut-out.  To add injury to insult, a colony of woodworms is making a spirited attempt at devouring it.

appraise_text:
The privy door is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be added to a loft as a door.


item_name: tube of frog adhesive
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a small tube covered in green frog skin patterns.  You wonder who on the Disc would market a product whose sole purpose is to bond frogs to the floor (or coffee table).  The tube of frog adhesive is full.

appraise_text:
The tube of frog adhesive is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: mossy tile
weight: 1 7/9 lb
description:
This clay tile is covered in green and brown moss.  Apart from that, it seems to be in quite good condition.

appraise_text:
The mossy tile is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of clay and looks like it can be used in a loft as a roof tile.


item_name: faded tile
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
Years of exposure to the elements has faded this once shiny grey tile to a mockery of its former self.

appraise_text:
The faded tile is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is made of clay and looks like it can be used in a loft as a roof tile.


item_name: rusted iron pole
description: This iron pole is rusted all over and has holes in some places.
weight: 6 7/9 lb
appraise_text:
The rusted iron pole is about six feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of iron and looks like it can be used in a loft as a support.


item_name: gnarled wooden plank
description: This wooden plank is full of knots and gnarls, giving it a rather tortured appearance.
weight: 7 6/9 lb
special_find_note: From smashing carts up.
appraise_text:
The gnarled wooden plank is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a part of a wall.


item_name: weathered wooden post
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
This wooden post has that faded look that only years in the rain and sun can achieve.  It could be smartened up with a coat of paint.

appraise_text:
The weathered wooden post is about six feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a support.


item_name: rusted iron sheet
weight: 6 6/9 lb
description:
This long, thin sheet of iron may have once been used on a grand mansion or in a dank dungeon.  Whatever its past, it is now old and rusted.

appraise_text:
The rusted iron sheet is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of iron and looks like it can be used in a loft as a part of a wall.


item_name: battered metal tin
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This small, metal tin looks like it's been run over by carts, trampled by camels, and left in the gutter for weeks.  It's certainly seen better days, though by the looks of things they were several centuries ago.

appraise_text:
The battered metal tin is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of tin and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 2 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: warped pine beam
weight: 6 8/9 lb
description:
A warped length of pine cut at an angle, suggesting that it was once used to support a roof, and if the grime on it is anything to go by, the roof was in Ankh-Morpork.

appraise_text:
The warped pine beam is about six and a half feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a strut for a roof.


item_name: thin steel chimney
weight: 6 7/9 lb
description:
This steel pipe is in pretty good condition although it is covered with soot and heat discolouration.  This, and the small cap on one end, suggests that it was once a chimney of some sort.

appraise_text:
The thin steel chimney is about six and a half feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of steel and looks like it can be used in a loft as a support.


item_name: old sign post
description: This length of rounded wood was once used as a street sign in Ankh-Morpork.
weight: 7 1/9 lb
appraise_text:
The old sign post is about six feet long and about six inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a support.


item_name: impedex
weight: 1 g
special_find_note: Given by Professor Shrub on April Fool's Day for the Impemon capture minigame.
description:
This is a magical scroll that lets you see and capture invisible imps when it's held.  It's made out of thin, ephemeral-looking paper with glowing lettering that changes as you read it.  A shimmer of octarine radiates across the surface.  It has the hazy octarine sparkle of a magical talisman.  It appears to have something written on it.

appraise_text:
The impedex is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [colour] berry [impemon shiny reward]
description: This is a cherry-sized [colour] berry. It looks juicy and sweet.
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2 g
special_find_note:
Rewarded by Professor Shrub for returning shiny versions of Impemon.  Colour represents the type of Impemon.


item_name: [colour] candy [impemon reward]
description: This is a little cubic [colour] lump. It looks rare and decidedly sweet.
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2 g
special_find_note:
Rewarded by Professor Shrub for returning regular versions of Impemon.  Colour represents the type of Impemon.


item_name: fluffy ribbon choker
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This short fluffy ribbon is meant to be tied around one's neck as a tight-fitting necklace.  Its simple black colour acts as a contrast to its extravagant fluffiness, making it a perfect complement to nearly any outfit.

appraise_text:
The fluffy ribbon choker is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is black and is made of cotton and could be worn as armour.


item_name: pair of fluffy sunglasses
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This pair of fancy sunglasses has a frame made of red fluff with a thick steel wire running through the middle.  While striking, the fluff blocks out most of its wearer's peripheral vision.

appraise_text:
The pair of fluffy sunglasses is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is red and is made of metal and could be worn as armour.


item_name: fluffy tuxedo top
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This is the top half of a tuxedo outfit, composed of a black satin jacket over a white cotton shirt.  Unusually, the jacket is trimmed with white fluffy fur around the collar, on the lapels, and on the bottom.  Instead of a bowtie, a large black fluff completes the look.  The fluffy tuxedo top has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The fluffy tuxedo top is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is black and white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or about twenty items.


item_name: pair of fluffy cargo shorts
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This pair of dark green knee-length shorts is notable for two things: its deep pockets and its extravagantly fuzzy exterior.  It looks just like the sort of thing a follower of Gufnork would wear to present themselves as a handyperson who gets things done.  The pair of fluffy cargo shorts has two side pockets.

appraise_text:
The pair of fluffy cargo shorts is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is dark green and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 1 pound, or about twenty items.


item_name: pair of fluffy bunny slippers
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This pair of fluffy slippers is white on the outside and pink on the inside.  On the toe is a bunny face drawn with two black beads for eyes, a pink triangle for a nose, and two bunny ears that stick up into the air.  It looks perfect for keeping your toes warm on a chilly evening at home.

appraise_text:
The pair of fluffy bunny slippers is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of fluffy cotton gloves
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This pair of white cotton gloves has puffy rings of fluff at the wrists, presumably to keep one's hands extra warm.  The rings of fluff are unusually thick, making them twice as wide as the gloves themselves.

appraise_text:
The pair of fluffy cotton gloves is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: brown fluffy wig
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This vibrantly brown wig fairly explodes in all directions with its fluffiness.  Despite only being shoulder length, its sheer volume makes it shoulder width as well, mimicking the sort of hairstyle only possible with at least an hour of hairstyling a day.

appraise_text:
The brown fluffy wig is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is brown and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: coal scuttle
weight: 7lb
description:
This coal scuttle consists of little more than a large, metal bucket with a handle.  It is intended for use to carry and store coal for the fire and would undoubtedly perform such a function admirably.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The coal scuttle is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or about eighty items.


item_name: dog biscuit
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5 g
description:
This is a small, grainy biscuit in the shape of a bone.  It's hard to tell exactly what it's made of, but it smells vaguely meaty and feels quite brittle.  It doesn't seem terribly appetising, but it's likely that a dog would love it.


item_name: rough smith's hammer
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
This is a functional and practical smith's hammer with a foot-long haft and a small but weighty head made of good quality steel.  It's designed for shaping smaller pieces of armour, but it would also do a decent job of re-shaping the head of a would-be attacker.

appraise_text:
The rough smith's hammer is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: ceremonial chainmail robe
weight: 20lb
description:
This is a ceremonial robe, hand-forged by a faithful follower of Chefet.  Each member of the dog-headed god's priesthood forges their own lightweight robe from an alloy of klatchian steel and gold and must wear it at all times when going about their official duties.  Like most of these robes, the actual practicality of armour has been sacrificed in favour of making it as light as possible; a smart move for a garment that must be worn for up to 18 hours a day.

appraise_text:
The ceremonial chainmail robe is about four feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of klatchian steel and could be worn as armour.


item_name: chainmail haubark
weight: 10lb
description:
This chainmail haubark is very much like a hauberk, but for dogs.  Rather than being one large piece, it is divided up into several smaller pieces that connect together with strong dome fasteners.  It looks like it would provide quite good protection, although, like a real hauberk, the head is left uncovered.  You could fasten it to a faithful canine companion to provide it with a little extra protection, or just to make it look adorable in a shiny set of armour.

appraise_text:
The chainmail haubark is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of steel and could be worn as armour.


item_name: gilded smith's hammer
weight: 2 4/9 lb
description:
Somebody has taken great pains to combine form and function without compromise when creating this smith's hammer.  Made of a single piece of Klatchian steel, it has a short haft and a two-sided head that includes one flat and one rounded surface.  Beautiful gold detailing covers the non-functional sides of the hammer, as well as the handle, but the striking surfaces are left bare and utilitarian.  Grooves have been worked into the haft and wrapped tightly in thin, supple leather to ensure a perfect grip.

appraise_text:
The gilded smith's hammer is about a foot and a half long and about six inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: armour unfastener
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This simple little tool is essentially a miniature crowbar that is used to unfasten the small, fiddly joints on certain pieces of armour.  It would be perfect for carefully separating the individual parts that make up a suit of pet armour without stressing or hurting the animal.

appraise_text:
The armour unfastener is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: well-chewed metalworking book
weight: between 1/9 lb and 2/9 lb
description:
This is a small, plainly bound book of papyrus pages.  It looks rather as though several dogs have chewed on it.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed well-chewed metalworking book is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper and papyrus.


item_name: [metals] faceted ring
appraise_text: It is made of electrum and black gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
This curious ring comprises a wide band of electrum that is slightly raised at each edge to form a shallow groove.  Within the groove is a lustrous, multifaceted layer of black gold that has been meticulously cut and shaped to form a vibrant geometric design.  With every movement, the light catches the facets in a different way, sending the black gold shapes flowing across the surface of the ring.


item_name: [metals] panelled ring
appraise_text: It is made of electrum and platinum and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
This is a thick electrum ring, a little wider than one might typically see.  All around its circumference are raised trapezoid shapes made of platinum, which alternate in their orientation to create a satisfying interlocking pattern.


item_name: two-tone [metals] ring
appraise_text: It is made of white gold and black gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
Five alternating bands of gleaming white and black gold make up this simple but elegant ring.  The outer and middle bands of white gold are a little wider and enclose the two slim bands of black gold seamlessly.


item_name: [gem] navel stud [finesmithing]
appraise_text: It is made of [metal] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
special_find_note: Player made from finesmithing, well-chewed metalworking book.
description:
A slim [metal] setting engraved with complex Ephebian key patterns frames a setting for a large gem.


item_name: [adjective] [gem] pendant [finesmithing]
appraise_text: It is made of [metal] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 16 g
special_find_note: Player made from finesmithing, well-chewed metalworking book.
description:
This lovely [metal] pendant forms an elegant setting for a setting for a large gem, highlighting its inherent beauty perfectly.


item_name: [metal] hound brooch [finesmithing]
appraise_text: It is made of [metal] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 16 g
special_find_note: Player made from finesmithing, well-chewed metalworking book.
description:
This elegant [metal] brooch has been wrought in the shape of a finely detailed hunting hound with his nose held low and tail flagging.  A setting for a small gem forms his glittering eye.


item_name: [metal] kantharos [finesmithing]
weight: 4/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from finesmithing, well-chewed metalworking book.
description:
A noble hunting hound gazes patiently from this lovely [metal] drinking cup, each keenly pricked ear hollowed for a handle.  The stem is an Ephebian column, widening to a broad circular pediment incised with grape vines.  Six empty small gem settings take the place of grapes around the foot, carved tendrils twining around each one.

appraise_text:
The [metal] kantharos is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of silver and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: braided [metals] ring
appraise_text: It is made of [metal] and [metal] and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 10 g
description:
This beautiful ring is made up of two intertwining strands of [metal] and [metal], spiralling endlessly around one another.  The inside surface has been subtly smoothed down to make it comfortable to wear without spoiling the mesmerising nature of the design.


item_name: dentistry voucher
appraise_text: The dentistry voucher is about six inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 2 g
description:
This is a fancy voucher, smelling faintly of mint.  It appears to have something written on it:  The presentation of this voucher entitles the bearer to one free dental examination (so long as bearer happens to be Genghiz Cohen).  Signed: Samuel S. Smith (Dentist)


item_name: Lancrastian Army Knife
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The Lancrastian Army Knife is a compact assortment of tools sandwiched between two wooden sleeves.  The tools can be extracted individually for use or closed away for compactness.  The sleeves themselves have been painted in a cheerful red colour except for a small white cross at one end.  This tool has been packed full of some things that a soldier would need in the field and many things they would not.  It would seem that some of King Verence's suggestions managed to survive the design process despite Shawn's best efforts.

appraise_text:
The Lancrastian Army Knife is about four inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: [type] sporran
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This solidly made pouch is traditionally worn with the kilt, to serve as a sort of modular pocket and keep the front from flying up and exposing one's unmentionables, or at least not-mentionable-till-everyone's-three-pints-downs.  It's made from [colour] leather and decorated with wolves' teeth.  The [colour] leather sporran has one pouch pocket.

appraise_text:
The [colour] leather sporran is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or six items.


item_name: presentation case
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Given with a Lancrastian Army Knife.
description:
This is a pretty little box made of wood and polished to a warm, natural sheen.  It appears to be well made and fairly sturdy.  The inside of the box has been lined with a rich, red cloth and padded for softness.

appraise_text:
The presentation case is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or two items.


item_name: instruction pamphlet
weight: 5 g
special_find_note: Given with a Lancrastian Army Knife.
description:
This is a good quality piece of paper with a slightly glossy feel.  It has the Royal Seal of Lancre stamped on the bottom right corner.

appraise_text:
The instruction pamphlet is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: wooden tub
weight: 5lb
description:
This is a large tub made from wood.  It looks waterproof and grease-proof, ideal for all your lard storing needs.

appraise_text:
The wooden tub is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 111 pounds, or about one hundred and thirty items.


item_name: [colour] tangzhuang
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This traditional Agatean jacket is made from the finest heavyweight amethyst silk and embroidered all across its surface with pomegranates.  The high straight collar and long sleeves give the garment a beautiful symmetry, counterbalanced by the elegant diagonal line where silk knots nestle into their loops like a newly-wedded family into their home.  The amethyst tangzhuang has two inside pockets.

appraise_text:
The amethyst tangzhuang is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold less than one pound, or nine items.


item_name: small [colour] flower bearer suit
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This tiny suit is made from lightweight Agatean silk, its waistcoat overlaid with delicate floral lace.  A tiny spray of baby's breath peeps out from the buttonhole.  It would suit a pet very well, should their owner wish them to be a flower bearer at their wedding.

appraise_text:
The small flower bearer suit is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small grey top hat
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Sized perfectly for a pet to wear to a wedding - or a museum, or a day at the races - this brushed silk top hat is extremely stylish.

appraise_text:
The small grey top hat is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small [colour] flower bearer dress
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Layers of sheer purple chiffon float lightly over the flowing silk of this small diaphanous dress.  The only breaks in the colour are the multitudinous small flowers embroidered artfully over the topmost layer.  A sentimental pet owner might dress their pet in this for their wedding, whether their beloved pet can be trusted to scatter flowers or not.

appraise_text:
The small purple flower bearer dress is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is purple and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small [colour] ring bearer dress
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This pet-sized ballgown is made from lustrous purple silk taffeta, puffed sleeves, full skirt and all.  Intricate beadwork around the waist depicts a set of ever-looping circles, endlessly entwined, calling to mind the wedding rings that the pet will bear for its overoptimistic owner.

appraise_text:
The small purple ring bearer dress is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is purple and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: tiny bow tie
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Normally, a pre-tied bow tie would be an utter solecism that would cause any gentleman to be laughed out of his club, hanging his head in unfashionable shame.  When the gentleman in question has paws without opposable thumbs, however, it's an important access need.  This particular example is made from rather spiffy black Agatean silk and fastens with a discreet silver stud.

appraise_text:
The tiny bow tie is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: small [colour] ring bearer suit
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Fine purple Llamedese wool has been woven expertly into a formal pet-sized suit.  Subtle pinstripes on the waistcoat add a touch of interest, and the diminutive pocket square folded into the breast pocket draws the eye.  Such an elegant ensemble is suited only for those pets entrusted with the important role of ring bearer.

appraise_text:
The small purple ring bearer suit is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is purple and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: tiny picture hat
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Sized perfectly for a pet to wear to a wedding - or to high tea, or a day at the races - this stylishly broad-brimmed hat has been made from the finest ecru sinamay and trimmed with eau-de-djel ribbon.  A gauzy veil beaded with tiny crystals drapes artfully, and overall this hat is picture-perfect for blocking other pets' view.

appraise_text:
The tiny picture hat is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of sinamay and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pretty yellow satin ribbon
weight: 5 g
description:
This length of pretty satin ribbon would be perfect for tying around the neck of a special pet, to make them look even more special on a special day.

appraise_text:
The pretty yellow satin ribbon is about a foot long and about an inch wide.  It is yellow and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of silvery blue rainboots
weight: 1lb
description:
These rainboots have been fashioned from soft blue rubber.  Sparkles here and there shine like silver stars.  While they'll protect your feet from most bad weather, something about their delicacy suggests that the maker had the slightest of showers in mind.

appraise_text:
The pair of silvery blue rainboots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of midnight blue rainboots
weight: 1lb
description:
These tall, stout, and slightly pointy-toed boots are made of deep blue rubber, just perfect for splashing in puddles and making a mess.  Shiny gold stars and moons are dotted around the top of each boot, making them look a bit Occult.

appraise_text:
The pair of midnight blue rainboots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of pretty pink rainboots
weight: 1lb
description:
This is a tall pair of stout rubber boots, just perfect for splashing in puddles and making a mess.  A cheerful yellow daisy has been painted near the top of each boot.

appraise_text:
The pair of pretty pink rainboots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pair of rainboots
weight: 1lb
description:
This is a pair of plain rainboots, made from dark green rubber.  Comfy and waterproof, they should keep your feet safe from the heaviest storm or the dirtiest Ankh-Morpork street.

appraise_text:
The pair of rainboots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [adjective] [metal] ceremonial hammer [finesmithing]
weight: 1 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from finesmithing, well-chewed metalworking book.
description:
This ornate hammer has been forged from a single piece of [metal].  The striking head is formed in the shape of a blunt-faced bulldog, teeth bared, and standing proudly on a fluted Ephebian column.

appraise_text:
The [metal] ceremonial hammer is about a foot long and about four inches wide.  It is made of [metal] and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: slightly insubstantial belt loop
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This is a custom scabbard that hasn't been set up yet.  It could sheathe an axe, mace, keyring, baton, whip, cane, flail, wrench, club, torch or hammer.

appraise_text:
The slightly insubstantial belt loop is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: block of feta cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 8/9 lb
description:
With a sharp odour and a vague "barnyardy" taste, this ewe's milk cheese is solid but crumbly.  The pure white flesh has a milky acidity, which is furthered greatly by a rather salty tang, the result of being matured in brine.


item_name: small stencilling sponge
description: A small sponge, well-suited to delicate stencilling work.
weight: 15 g
appraise_text:
The small stencilling sponge is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of sponge and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: [shape] broom stencil
weight: 10 g
description:
This thin, flexible piece of card features cutouts of climbing vines.  It has been designed to be the perfect size and shape to wrap around a broomstick handle so that paint can be applied to the cutouts.  You could use it to decorate a broomstick if you had some suitable paint and a small stencilling sponge.

appraise_text:
The vine broom stencil is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of card and paper.


item_name: grubby old sack
description: The sack is made of hessian cloth, and smells foul. It could well have been used to hold manure.
weight: 2lb
appraise_text:
The grubby old sack is about a foot and a half long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of hessian and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 20 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: marble display plinth
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This slim fluted column of Ephebian marble, with a simple square base and capital, would serve perfectly to display a piece of treasured artwork.  There is nothing on the marble display plinth.

appraise_text:
The marble display plinth is about three and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of marble and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or five items.


item_name: display plinth
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This simple display plinth is beautifully handcrafted from a single oak log, squared off and smoothed.  The only decoration is the craftsman's mark, a wreath of intertwining oak branches near the top.  It is ready to be painted or polished with beeswax.  There is nothing on the display plinth.

appraise_text:
The display plinth is about three and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 44 pounds, or five items.


item_name: small key
appraise_text: The small key is about an inch long and about an inch wide. It is made of brass.
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Found in Copperhead mines.
description:
This is a small brass key.  Judging from its distinctively simple shape it is intended for winding up a clockwork mechanism.


item_name: lacquered music box
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This tiny box has been decorated with a classic scene of courtesans drinking wine under a willow tree.  The tree stands beside a river flowing peacefully beneath a craggy mountain range, and a tiny keyhole has been cleverly incorporated into the tree's roots.

appraise_text:
The lacquered music box is about a foot and a half long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of wood, lacquer and clockwork and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 5 pounds, or about thirty items.


item_name: granite plinth
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
This is a simple unadorned block of granite which would serve perfectly to display a piece of treasured artwork or for that matter a jar with a piece of a treasured ancestor.  There is nothing on the granite plinth.

appraise_text:
The granite plinth is about three and a half feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of granite and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 11 pounds, or one item.


item_name: shiny black berry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1.85 g
description:
This shiny black berry has a slightly dull star pattern at one end, where the calyx has been removed.  It is squishy and the inky juice on the inside looks sweet and good to eat.


item_name: shapeless grey dress
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
Made from an undistinguished shade of grey linen, this garment is apparently a dress.  While other dresses might use darts, seams, tucks, pleats, ruching, smocking, gathering, contouring and a plethora of other -ings to create shape, this one seems content merely to slump over the wearer's figure like a particularly unenthusiastic sack.

appraise_text:
A letter dropped by a postman from one of the balconies flutters gracefully down to the floor before falling in to the sack of a different postman who happened to be passing.


item_name: parasol
weight: 1 1/9 lb
description:
This is an [adjective] parasol made of [colour] silk.  When open, it protects against the sun and rain.  You can also clobber someone with it.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The parasol is about three feet long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of bamboo and silk and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: small papyrus boat
description: This is a small papyrus boat, a toy to sail on the lake.
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: Quest item.
appraise_text:
The small papyrus boat is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of papyrus.


item_name: ice axe
weight: 3 1/9 lb
description:
An indispensable tool for thrill-seeking mountaineers, this ice axe is just as fit for saving a life as it is for taking one.  Its shaft of white mountain pine separates a steel pick and adze at one end from a steel spike at the base.  Not only can it be jabbed into the side of a mountain or used to cut footholds into frozen terrain, it also comes in handy should an adventurer stumble across one of the Ramtops' more unsavory residents.  Mountains aren't all that this axe is fit to conquer, when held in the right hands.

appraise_text:
The ice axe is about a foot and a half long and about four inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type axe.


item_name: oaken hellhound desk
weight: about forty pounds
description:
Wicked and mysterious patterns have been engraved all along the legs of this fine oaken desk.  The top itself has been painted pitch black, creating a clear contrast between the carvings and the dark finish.  Four brass statues, depicting hellhound paws, complete the foot of the legs.  Frozen mid-leap, they make the desk appear as if it might pounce upon someone at any moment.  The sharp ends of the claws are blood-red and flare as they catch the light.  Despite that, the desk seems safe enough to sit at and use.  Well...  as long as any toes are kept a safe distance away from the claws of the hounds.  There is nothing on the oaken hellhound desk.

appraise_text:
The oaken hellhound desk is about five feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of oak and brass and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 27 pounds, or about fifty items.


item_name: rich tea biscuit
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 2 g
special_find_note: Fang Estate in Bes Pelargic.
description:
This is a thin round biscuit with a golden colour, made to a traditional Morporkian recipe by the skilled cooks of the Fang family.  Designed to be dunked in tea, they have a slightly sweet flavour which can best be described as "bland".


item_name: porcelain tiger mug
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Fang Estate in Bes Pelargic.
description:
This is a mug made in a traditional Morporkian style, of the same sort used in the new Imperial Standard tea ceremony.  The finest artisans of the Fang family made it in delicate porcelain, and it bears a Morporkian-style image of a grinning tiger's head beside a column of ornate characters.  It appears to have something written on it.  Written in ornate characters in Agatean:  You Don't Have To Be Rich To Work Here But It Helps.

appraise_text:
The porcelain tiger mug is about four inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of pottery and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, eleven items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: porcelain biscuit jar
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Fang Estate in Bes Pelargic.
description:
This is a medium-sized jar, specially commissioned by Lord Fang to contain the imported foreign delicacies so important to the new Imperial Standard tea ceremony.  Snarling tigers prowl across the viridian surface, their stripes inlaid with gold on the scarlet fur.

appraise_text:
The porcelain biscuit jar is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of porcelain and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: earthenware tea bowl
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Fang Estate in Bes Pelargic.
description:
This is an old earthenware bowl, presumably once used to serve tea to honoured guests of the Fang family, but now very much out of fashion.  It has been made in a simple and unadorned style, not completely smooth or even symmetrical, and at some point it broke and someone mended it with a web of silver veins.

appraise_text:
The earthenware tea bowl is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and silver and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, nine items, or about 2 gills.


item_name: blue eraser
description: This dark blue eraser can be used to erase most things written in pencil on paper products.
weight: 5 g
appraise_text:
The blue eraser is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of rubber and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: antique silver fountain pen
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This is a slim, nicely balanced silver fountain pen, colourfully enamelled with a motif featuring green boughs.  It's a little worn, but it's clearly been well looked after during its lifetime, and is entirely serviceable.  It is clean and dry.

appraise_text:
The antique silver fountain pen is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of silver and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: packet of catnip
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small packet, rather like an envelope, of thick paper that has been waxed to make it more resilient.  The small waxed paper packet is about one-quarter full with some catnip.  It is open.


item_name: packet of ground shells
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small packet, rather like an envelope, of thick paper that has been waxed to make it more resilient.  The small waxed paper packet is about one-quarter full with some ground shells.  It is open.


item_name: packet of grain
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small packet, rather like an envelope, of thick paper that has been waxed to make it more resilient.  The small waxed paper packet is about one-quarter full with some grain.  It is open.


item_name: packet of dog chow
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small packet, rather like an envelope, of thick paper that has been waxed to make it more resilient.  The small waxed paper packet is about one-quarter full with some dog chow.  It is open.


item_name: old belt knife
weight: 1 1/9 lb
special_find_note: 808476ef4e072a3313c1160fc3fe6afc4d5d4a65
description:
This short knife, with its chequered wood handle and square pommel, has clearly had a long history of everyday use - from cooking and whittling to entirely legitimate self-defense - and an equally long but rather more patchy history of cleaning and sharpening.  The fairly shiny blade has a slightly wobbly turtle engraved on it, and a piece of the hilt is missing entirely exposing the rusty tang.

appraise_text:
The old belt knife is about six inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of steel and could be used as a weapon of type dagger.


item_name: small green bowl
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: From a safe.
description:
This small bowl looks rather as though it was made at some midnight evening class in the swamp, with its slightly lumpy texture and mottled green glaze.  To complete the froggy resemblance, a half-dozen swimming frogs decorate the base of the bowl, as though to peer up through your gumbo with their huge froggy eyes.

appraise_text:
The small green bowl is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: apple-wood bookcase
weight: about thirty pounds
description:
This is a tall, narrow bookcase made of apple wood.  The top is a lovely piece of polished granite.  There is nothing on the apple-wood bookcase.

appraise_text:
The apple-wood bookcase is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of apple wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 50 pounds, or about seventy items.


item_name: tall hatstand
weight: about fifteen pounds
description:
This is a tall, serious looking hatstand.  It is made of dark sturdy teak wood and stands proud on four lavishly decorated legs.  The top has been carved into the grand shape of A'Tuin, upon which the elephants and the Disc have been elaborately sculpted, capturing the true beauty of the scene.  The turtle's flippers extend outwards and are where the coats and hats are hung.  There is nothing on the tall hatstand.

appraise_text:
The tall hatstand is about a foot long and about a foot wide.  It is made of wood and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, or about sixty items.


item_name: old gangplank
weight: 7 2/9 lb
description:
This long piece of wood once served as a gangplank on a ship, if the wooden slats nailed across it for grip are any indication.  It is still in fairly good condition but is scuffed with the boots of hundreds of passengers.

appraise_text:
The old gangplank is about three and a half feet long and about two feet wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a part of a wall.


item_name: bologna pin
appraise_text: It is made of metal and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This enamelled metal pin has been formed in the shape of a cute, plump and very tasty-looking bologna.  It appears to have something written on it:  P E A C E


item_name: rainbow Hello Monkey! t-shirt
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This rainbow tie-dyed t-shirt is printed with a multitude of multicolored Hello Monkey! mascots, all dancing endlessly in file.  It's quite mesmerising, really.

appraise_text:
The rainbow Hello Monkey! t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is rainbow tie-dyed and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hello Monkey! lunchbox
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This tin lunchbox has been painted bright blue and emblazoned with the Hello Monkey! logo on each side.  Waving forlornly on each side of the lunchbox is Hello Monkey! himself, mouthless and slightly disturbing.  It has a red wooden handle and appears to be airtight when closed.  It could probably keep food reasonably fresh.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The Hello Monkey! lunchbox is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of tin and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, or about twenty items.


item_name: oversized Hello Monkey! t-shirt
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This oversized green t-shirt is printed all over with an alternating pattern of bright yellow bananas and Hello Monkey! faces.

appraise_text:
The oversized Hello Monkey! t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is green and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hello Monkey! nightshirt
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This knee-length nightshirt is made from twilight blue brushed cotton.  Printed on the front of it is an adorable depiction of Hello Monkey! dressed in cute little pyjamas and snuggled up in the curve of a large crescent moon.

appraise_text:
The Hello Monkey! nightshirt is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is twilight blue and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: skin-tight Hello Monkey! t-shirt
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This is a very small cherry-red t-shirt with an image of Hello Monkey! printed on the front.  Somehow it's stretchy enough to fit an adult, although it looks more like a crop top and the beloved mascot's already large head stretches into a funny shape on even the narrowest of chests.

appraise_text:
The skin-tight Hello Monkey! t-shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is cherry-red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Hello Monkey! doll
weight: 6/9 lb
description:
This is a soft cuddly caricature of the favourite Agatean children's hero, Hello Monkey!.  With big black button eyes, a yellow dot nose and the mildly disturbing lack of a mouth, the monkey doll has been dressed up in a cute little sailor costume, one cuff ending in a large fuzzy banana that has been sewn to his left hand.  He looks cute enough to cuddle all day long, and he is laundrable just in case you dribble on him in bed at night.

appraise_text:
The Hello Monkey! doll is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: soft rag
weight: 10 g
description:
This is a square of old cotton soaked in turpentine.  It could be used to strip the wax from a piece of woodwork.

appraise_text:
The soft rag is about sixty-six and a half feet long and about sixty-six and a half feet wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: pair of [adjective] [colour] sandals
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is an [adjective] pair of [colour] sandals.  The top of each sandal is formed by four leather straps that criss-cross between the sides of the [material] sole.  They have been [adjective] decorated with [pattern].

appraise_text:
The pair of [adjective] [colour] sandals is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is [colour] and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: wide-legged [colour] silk salwar
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The fabric of this kingfisher blue salwar hangs loosely around the legs and is gathered to narrow cuffs at the ankles.  The flowing drape of the silk would enhance any figure, while also being very comfortable to move about in.  Embroidered swirls of gold swoop and glide across the material, with a mix of raised and flat stitches used to produce a shimmering effect as they catch the light in different ways.

appraise_text:
The wide-legged kingfisher blue silk salwar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is kingfisher blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: wide-legged [colour] cotton salwar
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The fabric of this purple salwar hangs loosely around the legs and is gathered to narrow cuffs at the ankles.  The flowing drape of the cotton would enhance any figure, while also being very comfortable to move about in.  Embroidered swirls of white swoop and glide across the material, with a mix of raised and flat stitches used to produce a shimmering effect as they catch the light in different ways.

appraise_text:
The wide-legged purple cotton salwar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is purple and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: narrow-legged [colour] cotton salwar
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The blue cotton of this salwar has been cut narrowly across the width but generously along the length, creating an attractive ruching effect as it clings tightly to the legs.

appraise_text:
The narrow-legged blue cotton salwar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is blue and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: knee-length [colour] cotton kameez
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The red cotton of this kameez drapes in soft folds, ending with a neat hem just above the knees.  Deep slits at each side reach from hem to hip, and the waist is tapered slightly to add shape.  Thick white embroidery threads have been arranged in undulating patterns around the neck and hem, then couched down with almost invisible stitches in a matched-colour sewing thread.

appraise_text:
The knee-length red cotton kameez is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is red and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: simple mangalsutra
appraise_text: It is made of gold and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 90 g
description:
This simple necklace is strung with a repeating pattern of three small black beads followed by a larger gold-faceted bead.  It is fastened with a delicate gold clasp at the back of the neck.  A small gold disc with an embossed sun pattern hangs from the centre.


item_name: elegant silver mangalsutra
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 90 g
description:
This necklace is made of delicate links of silver woven together into a chain.  Where each pair of links meets, a bead of onyx stone conceals the join, creating an alternating pattern of black and silver.  At the front, the silver chains become two solid strands to form a simple crescent moon shape that sits neatly in the hollow of the neck.


item_name: simple [colour] cotton kameez
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Stars of various sizes from tiny to large have been embroidered all over it in white thread.  The smaller ones are made from simple straight stitches, while the larger ones are built up from layers of interlocked stitches to give a three-dimensional effect.

appraise_text:
The simple yellow cotton kameez is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is yellow and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: knee-length [colour] silk kameez
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The emerald green silk of this kameez drapes in soft folds, ending with a neat hem just above the knees.  Deep slits at each side reach from hem to hip, and the waist is tapered slightly to add shape.  Thick silver embroidery threads have been arranged in undulating patterns around the neck and hem, then couched down with almost invisible stitches in a matched-colour sewing thread.

appraise_text:
The knee-length emerald green silk kameez is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is emerald green and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: narrow-legged [colour] silk salwar
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
The cerulean blue silk of this salwar has been cut narrowly across the width but generously along the length, creating an attractive ruching effect as it clings tightly to the legs.  Embroidered swirls of silver swoop and glide across the material, with a mix of raised and flat stitches used to produce a shimmering effect as they catch the light in different ways.

appraise_text:
The narrow-legged cerulean blue silk salwar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is cerulean blue and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: simple [colour] silk kameez
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Cut from lime green silk, this thigh-length kameez has a simple yet pleasing shape.  Set-in sleeves flow gently down towards the wrists, and v-shaped slits at each hip allow for freedom of movement.  Thick silver embroidery threads have been arranged in undulating patterns around the neck and hem, then couched down with almost invisible stitches in a matched-colour sewing thread.

appraise_text:
The simple lime green silk kameez is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is lime green and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pink Tusker costume
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This costume is designed so your pet can dress up as Tusker, one of the Hogfather's magical flying pigs who pull his sleigh.  It's marvellously pink, and has cute floppy pig ears, and an adorable pink snout, and a delightful curly tail.

appraise_text:
The pink Tusker costume is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is pink and is made of wool and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: pink sugar pig
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 5 g
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
Round and plump and utterly adorable, this is as faithful a replica of one of the Hogfather's pigs as it's possible to get through the medium of pink sugar.  It has adorable beady eyes, adorable floppy ears, and its tail is a piece of string stiffened with sugar to make it properly twirly.


item_name: [colour] linen hijab
weight: about a pound
description:
Sturdy and practical, this rectangle of cyan linen is the ideal headscarf for warmer weather.  Worn by wrapping around the head and neck, it protects you from the sun and keeps your hair out of the way.

appraise_text:
The cyan linen hijab is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is cyan and is made of linen and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour] cotton hijab
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This simple rectangle of silvery grey cotton wraps around the head and neck to provide a practical and affordable head covering.

appraise_text:
The silvery grey cotton hijab is about three and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is silvery grey and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: broken mast
weight: 6 2/9 lb
description:
This looks to be the top part of a mast of some sort of ship.  It has obviously been broken but some of the rigging is still attached to it.

appraise_text:
The broken mast is about six and a half feet long and about four inches wide.  It is made of wood and looks like it can be used in a loft as a support.


item_name: sooty tile
weight: 1 7/9 lb
description:
A thick layer of soot covers this clay tile, making it difficult to determine its colour.  Despite this, it seems to be in fairly good condition with only a few chips marring its surface.

appraise_text:
The sooty tile is about a foot long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of clay and looks like it can be used in a loft as a roof tile.


item_name: red door
description: A simple pine door with peeling, red paint.
weight: 11 5/9 lb
appraise_text:
The red door is about six feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of pine and looks like it can be added to a loft as a door.


item_name: [length] riving of ginkgo
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of ginkgo is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of ginkgo.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of ginkgo, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: pair of fishermen's boots
weight: 1 3/9 lb
description:
This is a pair of knee high boots, each made from a single piece of brown leather with a seam running up the inside.  The ankles and calves are a very loose fit to allow the boots to be worn or removed without the need for buttons, buckles or laces.  Various cracks and streaks of white reveal where seawater has taken its toll on the leather.

appraise_text:
The pair of fishermen's boots is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is brown and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: marbling bauble
description: This is a lovely round Hogswatch bauble, just right to hang on the tree.
weight: less than a pound
appraise_text:
The Hogswatch bauble is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: decoratable Hogswatch bauble
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a small round papier mache bauble with a ribbon loop.  It has been designed to hang on a Hogswatch tree or other festive or ceremonial structure and/or vegetation of your choice.

appraise_text:
The bauble is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of papier-mache.


item_name: medium sized brown bottle
weight: about three pounds
description:
This is a medium sized brown glass bottle.  The medium sized brown bottle is completely full with one pint of water.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The medium sized brown bottle is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 1 pint.


item_name: [object]-shaped chocolate
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 20 g
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This chocolate has been formed into the shape of a [object].  The glossy exterior just begs you to eat it.


item_name: shiny box
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This wide, flat box has been covered with shiny silver paper.  Its interior is divided into a number of compartments.

appraise_text:
The shiny box is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of cardboard and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or twelve items.


item_name: frosty white perfume bottle
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This is a perfume bottle made out of frosty white crystal.  It is almost full of [scent] perfume which can be sprayed onto someone.

appraise_text:
It is made of tin and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: tinsel charm bracelet
weight: 25 g
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This bracelet is braided from festive, if slightly itchy, Hogswatch tinsel in red and green and gold.  A number of jump rings have been woven into the braid, allowing the wearer to attach charms.

appraise_text:
It is made of tin and appears to be a piece of jewellery.  It can hold less than one pound, or fifteen items.


item_name: slice of black pudding
weight: 7 7/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
Two feet across and nearly four inches thick, this is a generous slice of a truly prodigious black pudding, large enough for even the Hogfather to use as a breakfast plate and not have to come back for seconds.  Some thoughtful soul has attached a pair of straps to the back so that it can be used as a shield.

appraise_text:
The slice of black pudding is about two feet long and about two feet wide.  It is black and is made of blood, oats, salt, spices, suet and natural flavourings and looks like it could be held as a shield.


item_name: greaseproof paper package
appraise_text: The greaseproof paper package is about a foot long and about a foot wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 1 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
This functional-looking package of greaseproof paper looks large enough to contain more than a snack, but less than a feast.  It appears to have something written on it: Contents: two mincemeat toasties. one sprout 'n' chestnut pie. Warning: contents will only remain fresh while package remains unopened.


item_name: mincemeat toastie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
Raisins, currants and sultanas have been soaked in brandy, mixed with spices and chopped apples, sharpened with candied citrus peel, and enriched with suet.  As if all that was not enough, the resulting mixture has been sandwiched between two slabs of bread along with a slice of vintage cheese, and toasted to a crisp, sweet, salty, boozy deliciousness.


item_name: sprout 'n' chestnut pie
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 6/9 lb
special_find_note: Present from the Hogswatch pine.
description:
A sturdy pastry crust encloses a dense filling of roasted chestnuts, braised sprouts and fried onions.


item_name: tiny Hogswatch tree
weight: about four pounds
description:
Only a foot tall, and planted in an adorable little red pot, this pine sapling is perfect for a desk or a countertop or a Nac Mac Feegle barrow.  There is nothing on the tiny Hogswatch tree.  There is nothing perched on top of the Hogswatch tree.

appraise_text:
The tiny Hogswatch tree is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of tree and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 1 pound, or five items.


item_name: foolish [colour] tutu
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
This insult to what should have been graceful lace and silk is obviously intended to make the wearer look like a complete idiot.  Cheap magenta satin forms a skimpy body, more or less decorated with carelessly attached vomitous yellow polka-dots and the occasional lonely sequin.  A stiff tulle frill projects out horizontally at the hip, clearly designed to recall the traditional vousvous worn by the specialised balletic foolerists of the Quirmian Societe Joyeux, but in a much more vulgar manner suited for Low Japery... or possibly for a costume party amongst the drunken dregs of society.

appraise_text:
The foolish magenta tutu is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is magenta and is made of satin and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: [colour]-feathered fascinator
weight: 2/9 lb
special_find_note: Gapp provides!
description:
This is a fascinator, a formal and elaborate headpiece.  Seemingly designed especially for pretentious people who wish to show that they are a cut above the rest when it comes to sartorial extravagance and pretentiousness, they can often be found worn at the races - or at any other public event that gives the wearer the opportunity to be particularly obnoxious.  The main body of this example is coloured [colour] and has been adorned with a bewildering array of [colour] feathers.  It bears more than a passing resemblance to a dead hen that has been tie-dyed and is now intended to be strapped to somebody's head as a "statement piece".  Regardless as to how much it would cost a potential purchaser, it looks absolutely revolting.

appraise_text:
The [colour]-feathered fascinator is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of straw and feathers and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: washstand jug
weight: 7/9 lb
description:
This is a battered, dented old jug, with its surface enamelled in duck-egg blue.  Chips and scratches reveal the blackish metal underneath the paint.  It is designed to sit neatly in its sister bowl until needed.

appraise_text:
The washstand jug is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of metal and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 6 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 quarts.


item_name: heavenly blue spray phial
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a spray bottle made from heavenly blue crystal.  The play of light through it suggests that it has double walls, to insulate it from the outside temperature.  It is full of cool water which can be sprayed onto someone to cool them down.

appraise_text:
The heavenly blue spray phial is about an inch long and about an inch wide.  It is heavenly blue and is made of crystal and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: deep green demijohn
weight: about forty pounds
description:
This large bottle has been decorated with designs depicting the desert, and the fates of people who have obviously (and foolishly) decided not to take a container of water with them.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The deep green demijohn is about two feet long and about a foot wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 gallons.


item_name: sturdy leather costrel
weight: between 4 2/9 lb and 4 3/9 lb
description:
As unwieldly as it might look, this barrel-shaped leather canteen has saved the life of many a desert traveler by providing a means to carry water - or other morale-boosting beverages - conveniently on one's hip.  The "neck" of the vessel protrudes from the middle of its convex side and is flanked by two eyelets that support a short, thick strap. It likely won't be the most comfortable thing you ever wear, but it certainly is practical.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The sturdy leather costrel is about a foot long and about six inches wide.  It is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.  It can hold about 3 pounds, about forty items, or about 1 quart.


item_name: tasselled lamp shade
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This tatty-looking lamp shade looks like it did once serve its intended purpose, as evidenced by the frayed tassles hanging from the rim and the bleached look of the beige cloth stretched across its frame.  This is no longer the case, however.  It has now been liberated and given glorious new purpose as a hat for people who should have stopped drinking hours ago.

appraise_text:
The tasselled lamp shade is about six inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: parchment-coloured kimono
description:
This is a pale, off-white kimono that resembles the texture and colour of a piece of parchment.  The sleeve-cuffs and bottom hem of the garment are decorated with ink-coloured scrollwork, as one might find on official documents.  Several Agatean pictograms have been hand-brushed up the bottom of the kimono, fine calligraphy that read things like "Honour to Shoji" and "Please Pass the Ink".


item_name: granite inkstone
weight: 75 g
description:
This is a natural river stone, shaped only by time and the flow of water into a perfect shape for a scholar's inkstone.  A gentle depression forms a natural well for water, rising to a flat plain for grinding ink.  The plain is marked with characters inlaid in brass, signifying dedication to Shoji, the Goddess of Paperwork.

appraise_text:
The granite inkstone is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of stone.


item_name: [colour] ink jar
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This pleasingly rounded porcelain ink jar has a wide mouth with a secure stopper and a roughened base for stability.  The glaze is the delightful [colour description].  The [colour] ink jar is completely full with two ounces of [colour] ink.  It is completely full.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The [colour] ink jar is not very long and not very wide.  It is made of ceramic and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, six items, or about 3 shots.


item_name: ritual fishing rod
weight: 2 7/9 lb
description:
This fine wooden fishing rod has been stained a deep brownish-green and coated in a protective layer of lacquer.  It looks like it is intended more as an object of devotion than a practical tool, but it would probably serve either purpose equally well.

appraise_text:
The ritual fishing rod is about five and a half feet long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: blue fish headband
weight: 35 g
description:
This slender strip of heavy cotton has been dyed a deep blue colour like the ocean and has Fish's holy symbol embroidered in the centre in shimmering sea green thread.  It ties securely around the head with enough material left over for two blue strands to trail proudly behind you.

appraise_text:
The blue fish headband is about six inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: leather turtle mask
weight: 1 6/9 lb
description:
This bulky leather mask has been shaped to resemble the head of a large sea turtle.  Two thick straps allow for secure fastening around the back of one's head and neck, while the turtle's eyes are made of a strange gauze-like material that allows for surprisingly good vision while the mask is being worn.

appraise_text:
The leather turtle mask is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: shark cloak
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This ultra-lightweight cloak has been fashioned from a thin layer of some kind of rubbery grey hide.  Sleek, yet bold, anybody wearing it will cut an imposing figure indeed.  A curious pattern resembling gills adorns the collar, while mottled patches of darker and lighter greys cover the back and sleeves.  Surely a garment as unique as this would be favoured by Fish Himself.

appraise_text:
The shark cloak is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is grey and is made of hide and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: manta ray cloak
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This ultra-lightweight cloak has been fashioned from a thin layer of some kind of rubbery black hide.  It resembles its namesake in almost every way, from the wide wing-like sleeves to the long trailing 'tail' that reaches almost to the floor and the impossibly soft creamy-white interior lining.  Surely a garment as unique as this would be favoured by Fish Himself.

appraise_text:
The manta ray cloak is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is black and is made of hide and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: octopus cloak
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This ultra-lightweight cloak has been fashioned from a thin layer of some kind of rubbery crimson hide.  Oily to the touch, and with trailing tentacles that seem to move on their own, not everybody would consider even trying this on, let alone wearing it to go about their business.  A curious valve on each side of the neck makes rhythmic breathing motions, to no apparent effect.  Surely a garment as unique as this would be favoured by Fish Himself.

appraise_text:
The octopus cloak is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is crimson and is made of hide and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: malleable grey brooch
appraise_text: It is made of gleaming obsidian and silver and appears to be a nice piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Changes into other brooches depending on which God you consecrate it to.
description:
This odd little trinket certainly doesn't look like much, being a small wad of a soft, putty-like substance stuck to a silver clasp.  You could probably wear it as a brooch if you wished, but it's hardly likely to impress anybody as it is.


item_name: voracious card indexer
appraise_text: The voracious card indexer is about a foot long and about nine inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This large paperback book has a glossy black cover with a simple gold rectangle design printed on it.  It looks like one of those prototype revision books from the Unseen University, designed to hoard, collect, sort, index and display all kinds of useful information to be reviewed at a moment's notice.  This one apparently didn't turn out quite right, however, as it only seems to be interested in collecting trading cards.


item_name: curious octopus brooch
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Created by consecrating a malleable grey brooch.
description:
This curious little brooch seems to be made entirely of slimy seaweed, formed into the shape of a curious octopus.  A delicate silver clasp is attached to the back to enable it to be fastened to one's clothing.  Something about the craftsmanship gives you the sense that this was not made by a mortal hand.


item_name: dolphin cloak
weight: 5/9 lb
description:
This ultra-lightweight cloak has been fashioned from a thin layer of some kind of rubbery silver hide.  Sleek and form-fitting, it almost cries out to be worn while speeding through the open oceans of the disc, leaping and diving and exploring the infinite mysteries of the deep.  Surely a garment as unique as this would be favoured by Fish Himself.

appraise_text:
The dolphin cloak is about six feet long and about two feet wide.  It is silver and is made of hide and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: parachute harness
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This is a chest harness with a canvas container on the back, presumably containing a parachute.  A ripcord on the container can be used to deploy the parachute when appropriate.

appraise_text:
The parachute harness is about three feet long and about three feet wide.  It is made of canvas, silk and leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: black leather bootlace tie
weight: 75 g
description:
This bootlace tie is a bold fashion statement.  Expertly hand-braided from black leather, it fastens with a silver slide engraved with a portrait of Duchess Saturday.  The ends are finished with decorative aiguillettes tipped with coffee beans.

appraise_text:
The black leather bootlace tie is about a foot long and about three inches wide.  It is black and is made of leather and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: Effing oak dresser
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
With cupboards and drawers beneath and tall, glass-fronted shelves on top, this dresser was made early in the Century of the Three Lice.  Tall and looming, built to last from the dark old oak of the Effing Forest, someone has even formed tiny crevices to bring the calendrical lice to life, as if waiting there to be flicked out by a hot knife - though actually, the closer you look, the more you see scorch marks from hopefully long-ago hot metal.  Each upper door features windows with pointed arches in their top panes, and each handle is a carefully-turned wooden knob, engraved with, for some reason lost in time, a bee.  Cross-banded in dark cherry, each drawer locks, and each tiny keyhole features a teardrop escutcheon carved from bone.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The Effing oak dresser is about six feet long and about three and a half feet wide.  It is made of oak and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 133 pounds, or about one hundred and twenty items.


item_name: greenish fuel dye
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than 1/9 lb
description:
This is more pinches than you can estimate at a glance of tiny, greenish crystals, perfect for adding to a fuel in order to produce dazzling effects.


item_name: badge case
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Rewarded by Professor Shrub for returning an impedex with badge rewards.
description:
This is a small, velvet-lined wooden case that's just big enough to hold the five badges nestled in it.  The emblem of the Bes Pelargic Wizards' Guild is carved on the side.  It looks like you could inspect the badges for more information.

appraise_text:
The badge case is about four inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of some unidentifiable material.


item_name: tiny paper packet of fuel dye
description:
This is a tiny packet, rather like an envelope, of thick paper that has been waxed to make it more resilient.  It appears to have something written on it:  greenish fuel dye - Do Not Eat!.  The tiny waxed paper packet is about half full with some greenish fuel dye.

appraise_text:
The tiny waxed paper packet is roughly a couple of inches long and about an inch wide.  It is made of paper and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or four items.


item_name: lightable firestick
weight: 3 3/9 lb
description:
This long, smooth pole has been well crafted and decorated in colourful swirls and spots.  It looks quite sturdy and well balanced.  The ends have been padded but it doesn't look like that would lessen the impact much if you were hit with it.  Traces of soot and lamp oil suggest that the pads could be lit.  You get the feeling that you could check the patterns you know and attempt to whirl it in one of those patterns.

appraise_text:
The lightable firestick is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type polearm.


item_name: lightable fire poi
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
This small lump of canvas rags has been attached to a chain and finished with small loops that can be slid comfortably over two fingers.  You get the feeling that you could check the patterns you know and attempt to whirl it in one of those patterns.

appraise_text:
The lightable fire poi is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of cloth and metal and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: practice poi
weight: between 3/9 lb and 4/9 lb
description:
Strips of cloth have been loosely rolled into a soft ball and attached to a length of string to form this poi.  At the other end of the string is a small loop just big enough for two fingers.

appraise_text:
The practice poi is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of cloth and could be used as a weapon of type misc.


item_name: medium sized black bottle
description: This is a medium sized black glass bottle.
weight: about a pound and a half
appraise_text:
The medium sized black bottle is about nine inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of glass and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold about 1 pound, about twenty items, or about 3 gills.


item_name: pink ballet tutu
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
From the tiniest child wobbling at the back of Miss Euphemia Strickland's Academy of the Terpsichorean Arts (17 Pigsty Hill, very reasonable fees, no child turned away) to the most graceful prima ballerina on the stage of the Opera House, there is no garment more essential and emblematic than the tutu.  Assuming that ballet shoes don't count as a garment, which is debatable.  It has a close-fitting pink silk body with slim shoulder straps and a stiff frill of tulle around the waist.

appraise_text:
The pink ballet tutu is about a foot and a half long and about a foot wide.  It is pastel pink and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: hexagonal test tube
weight: 2 2/9 lb
description:
This test tube has been carved from a single natural prism of rock crystal and set in an elaborate brass framework carved with images of cabbages, aubergines, and lemons all living together in harmony.  A constant shifting rainbow of colour plays across the surface.

appraise_text:
The hexagonal test tube is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of brass and crystal.


item_name: leather tooling kit
weight: 1 5/9 lb
description:
This sturdy leather pouch is thin and rectangular, with a pair of small brass hinges and a bone-pinned fastener allowing it to be closed and secured when not in use.  Inside the case are all manner of blunt, yet somehow still pointy, objects varying in size, shape and complexity.  Judging by the symbol in the shape of an animal pelt on the lid, it appears this kit is for those who wish to engage in leather tooling.  It is open.

appraise_text:
The leather tooling kit is about four inches long and about six inches wide.  It is dark brown and is made of leather and looks like you could hold it.


item_name: blank maker's mark stamp
weight: 125 g
description:
This is a simple brass stamp, suitable for imprinting a small design into a leather object.  The base of the stamp is currently smooth and blank and will need to be modified at a smithy before it can be used.

appraise_text:
The blank maker's mark stamp is roughly a couple of inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of brass.


item_name: dense scrollwork leather tooling pattern
weight: 3 g
description:
This tooling pattern is essentially just a thick sheet of paper with detailed linework on it depicting dense scrollwork.  With a proper tooling kit and some know-how, you could transfer this design onto a leather item of your choice.

appraise_text:
The dense scrollwork leather tooling pattern is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: overlapping leaves leather tooling pattern
weight: 3 g
description:
This tooling pattern is essentially just a thick sheet of paper with detailed linework on it depicting overlapping leaves.  With a proper tooling kit and some know-how, you could transfer this design onto a leather item of your choice.

appraise_text:
The overlapping leaves leather tooling pattern is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: leatherworking sponge
weight: 20 g
description:
This is a dense, porous chunk of sponge about the size an average person's hand.  Its purpose is to hold enough water to thoroughly drench a piece of leather, enabling one to remove any tooled text or patterns from it.

appraise_text:
The leatherworking sponge is about three inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is brown and is made of sponge.


item_name: geometric shapes leather tooling pattern
weight: 3 g
description:
This tooling pattern is essentially just a thick sheet of paper with detailed linework on it depicting geometric shapes.  With a proper tooling kit and some know-how, you could transfer this design onto a leather item of your choice.

appraise_text:
The geometric shapes leather tooling pattern is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: rustic leather tooling book
weight: 127 g
description:
This book has a rich brown-coloured cover with a picture of a stereotypical farmhand on it - overalls, pitchfork, straw hat and all.  It purports to contain a number of leather tooling patterns that can be used in conjunction with a leather tooling kit.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed rustic leather tooling book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: beginner's tooling pattern book
weight: 127 g
description:
This plain-looking book has a simple dark brown cover and an embossed picture of a half-finished geometric pattern on the front.  It purports to contain a number of leather tooling patterns that can be used in conjunction with a leather tooling kit.  It is closed.

appraise_text:
The closed beginner's tooling pattern book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: coffee bean [chocolate]
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
special_find_note: After sucking the chocolate coating off a chocolate-covered coffee bean.
description:
This is a rough, pungent coffee bean, possibly imported from Klatch.  Some cad has sucked off all the lovely chocolate that once surrounded the bean.


item_name: [priestly design] brooch [malleable brooch]
appraise_text: It is made of [material] and silver and appears to be a nice piece of jewellery.
weight: 1/9 lb
special_find_note: Created by consecrating a malleable grey brooch.
description:
This curious little brooch seems to be made entirely of [material], formed into the shape of [design].  A delicate silver clasp is attached to the back to enable it to be fastened to one's clothing.  Something about the craftsmanship gives you the sense that this was not made by a mortal hand.


item_name: brass-bound bucket sink
weight: about seven pounds
description:
This is a plain oak bucket, bound in polished brass and set into a wooden framework.  A brass tap allows water in, and a plughole bored into the base allows water out again.

appraise_text:
The brass-bound bucket sink is about three feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is made of oak and brass and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 gallons.


item_name: unnecessarily ornately gilded kitchen sink
weight: about a hundred pounds
description:
The deep cylindrical basin of this sink is large enough to hold an entire 30-piece dinner service plus epergne, and the taps are made from solid gold.  The porcelain itself is the deep pink of really good rose-scented soap, densely covered with gilded scrolls and acanthus leaves.  The overflow pipe is a golden rosette, centred in a band of cherubs positioned so that when the sink is full, they are bathing in the frothy water.  Of course, when they aren't, they sit there in midair waving their loofahs and sponges in some strange semi-aquatic ceremony.  The semicircular draining board is modelled after a Latatian ruin, with broad white steps leading up to a ring of pillars, and the whole stands on a fluted marble pediment.

appraise_text:
The unnecessarily ornately gilded kitchen sink is about six feet long and about five feet wide.  It is made of porcelain, gold and marble and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 gallons.


item_name: horrible avocado kitchen sink
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is quite a small kitchen sink, which would be useful for all sorts of day to day washing up if not for one salient factor.  Some sort of interior design criminal has coloured it in a kind of sludgy greyish-green - the kind of colour that somehow fails to go with anything else, even black, and will put anyone off their dinner from the next room.  Perhaps the Breakers and Decorators have been in?

appraise_text:
The horrible avocado kitchen sink is about six feet long and about five feet wide.  It is horrible avocado green and is made of porcelain and evil and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 gallons.


item_name: white porcelain kitchen sink
weight: about ten pounds
description:
This is a plain and unpretentious white porcelain sink, suitable for any kitchen.  The deep rectangular basin is large enough for a day's washing up, or a week's laundry, or to bathe a child.  Ridged draining boards flank the basin on either side, and a brass tap lets in water.

appraise_text:
The white porcelain kitchen sink is about six feet long and about five feet wide.  It is white and is made of porcelain and brass and could be placed as furniture.  It can hold about 22 pounds, about sixty items, or about 2 gallons.


item_name: Florian's shirt
weight: 5/9 lb
special_find_note: e8c618c1fea02ee675f114b34a2ef92c24a7b3c0
description:
This is one of Florian's white dress shirts that he wears on special occasions or when he really wants to impress someone.  It has a thick, musky odour to it, as if he had been wearing it for a while and never bothered to get it washed.

appraise_text:
Florian's shirt is about two and a half feet long and about a foot and a half wide.  It is white and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: clear crystal shard
appraise_text: The clear crystal shard is about six inches long and about an inch wide. It is made of crystal.
weight: less than a pound
special_find_note: From smashing a crystal ball.
description:
This is a clear crystal, about six inches long.  It looks like it could probably be shattered in a satisfying way if it were thrown on the ground.  It is cold to the touch.  It looks as if it has at least [quantity] thaums stored in it, judging by the octarine glow.


item_name: confiscated item receipt
weight: 2 g
special_find_note: 50f13e1a464b9b2d41cf9ab9ba62c8a8c0669e70
description:
This piece of paper is issued by the Bes Pelargic Imperial Guards when a restricted item or banned item is confiscated by them.  It appears to have something written on it.

appraise_text:
The confiscated item receipt is about four inches long and roughly a couple of inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: map of Pumpkin Town
appraise_text: The map of Pumpkin Town is about a foot long and about a foot wide. It is made of paper.
weight: less than a pound
description:
The map shows a little village.  The centre is a 2 by 2 room square, surrounded by several useful buildings.  A travel agency, that could lead you out of Pumpkin Town and into the larger Discworld, is west from the southwest corner; a training room, the town's morgue, a hospital and a crafting workshop are south from the square.  Two shops are at the northeast.


item_name: Pumpkin Town visitors' guide
weight: about a pound
description:
This is a friendly looking guide to Pumpkin Town.  It could probably help you decide what to see and do before going out into the world.  Why not open it and read it?

appraise_text:
The closed Pumpkin Town visitors' guide is about nine inches long and about six inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: thin book
appraise_text: The closed thin book is about three inches long and about three inches wide. It is made of paper.
weight: between 1 2/9 lb and 1 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Given when joining the Unseen University.
description:
This is a thin, useful-looking, cloth-bound book.  It looks well read, judging by the way the pages curl at the corners.  It appears to have something written on it:  Woddeley's Occult Primer.


item_name: some chicken cat-su
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a flat-pounded chicken cutlet lightly breaded and briefly fried, cut in the shape of a cat's face and served alongside a lightly-sweetened brown sauce.


item_name: training ball
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a steamed bun stuffed with a mixture of pork, beef and lamb.  It has been decorated to resemble a common pet toy used to play fetch with.


item_name: some canine curry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
Despite the name this chicken and potato curry is creamy yet not at all spicy, coloured with a light dose of turmeric and served on a bed of soft-cooked rice.


item_name: some fox terrier foo yung
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This is a dish of lightly fried scrambled egg, bean sprouts and chicken on a bed of soft-cooked rice, doused in a beef-based gravy.


item_name: snoot snack
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This lightly-sweet rice cake is shaped like a curious dog's snout in mid-sniff, with "eyes" made of glazed sugar discs.


item_name: some saluki satay
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This dish consists of snow peas, carrots, sweet peppers, butter beans and celery in a tangy peanut-based mock-satay sauce made without garlic or other canine-unsafe spices.


item_name: some mastiff stir-fry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: less than a pound
description:
This flavoursome stir-fry incorporates cubes of tender beef, plenty of bean sprouts, celery, broccoli, and strips of carrot fit for a big, hearty appetite.


item_name: gold and garnet nipple chain
appraise_text: It is made of gold and garnet and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
Thinly forged gold rings decorate the wearer's nipples, sustaining three glinting elegant chains of gold links which support dozens of glimmering, glinting rose-cut garnets of subtly different hues.  Ranging from the brazen orange of a setting desert sun to the vivid crimson of a wild Klatchian rose, the gems send sparkling flashes of light over the wearer's chest.


item_name: silver cat bracelet
appraise_text: It is made of silver and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 125 g
description:
This elegant bracelet is constructed from slender ovals of silver, joined together in a chain that fits snugly around the wearer's wrist.  Its clasp is formed in the shape of a solid silver cat, stretched to full length, with tail curled around the final link on one side and paws reaching out to grasp the first link on the other.  The cat's fur is so finely engraved that even the most subtle shifts in texture are clear.


item_name: ripe red loganberry
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
This fruit is plump and ripe, just ready for eating.  It's a cross between a raspberry and a blackberry, sharp and tasty!


item_name: twisted brambles leather tooling pattern
weight: 3 g
description:
This tooling pattern is essentially just a thick sheet of paper with detailed linework on it depicting twisted brambles.  With a proper tooling kit and some know-how, you could transfer this design onto a leather item of your choice.

appraise_text:
The twisted brambles leather tooling pattern is about six inches long and about three inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: slim black leather tooling book
weight: 127 g
description:
This slim black book has no title, author or... anything really on its cover.  Somebody was certainly going for a minimalist aesthetic with this volume.  It seems to contain various patterns that can be used in conjunction with a leather tooling kit.

appraise_text:
The closed slim black leather tooling book is about six inches long and about four inches wide.  It is made of paper.


item_name: jagged grflx leather bevor
weight: 1 lb
special_find_note: Made by Squinty Jeb from grflxen hide.
description:
This sleek cup-shaped armour piece covers the wearer's neck and extends up past their chin, protecting the soft and vulnerable tissue with a smooth layer of diamond-shaped black scales.  The upper edge has been shaped into jagged points, evoking the rending jaw of the ferocious apex predator who unwillingly donated the materials.

appraise_text:
The jagged grflx leather bevor is about nine inches long and about nine inches wide.  It is made of leather and could be worn as armour.


item_name: practical [colour] cotton salwar
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Constructed from a long rectangle of pink cotton, this salwar is tapered at the ankles, gathered at the waist and quite roomy between the legs, making it singularly fit for athletic endeavors.  It is covered with delicately embroidered mango shapes, arranged in a tumbling pattern that never seems to repeat itself.  The black thread of the embroidery has been cleverly used to give a variety of textures in chain stitch, fern stitch, stem stitch and neat little knots.

appraise_text:
The practical pink cotton salwar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is pink and is made of cotton and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: practical [colour] silk salwar
weight: 4/9 lb
description:
Constructed from a long rectangle of lime green silk, this salwar is tapered at the ankles, gathered at the waist and quite roomy between the legs, making it singularly fit for athletic endeavors.  Embroidered swirls of silver swoop and glide across the material, with a mix of raised and flat stitches used to produce a shimmering effect as they catch the light in different ways.

appraise_text:
The practical lime green silk salwar is about three feet long and about a foot wide.  It is lime green and is made of silk and looks like you could wear it.


item_name: golden rose nath
appraise_text: It is made of gold and garnet and appears to be a piece of jewellery.
weight: 2/9 lb
description:
This style of facial decoration hails from Klatch, the hoop of the nath attaching at the nose with a chain to trail along the cheek, terminating at the ear with a simple gold hook.  This particular piece sports a large golden hoop decorated with over three dozen tiny brilliant-cut garnets in a circle around an intricately worked rose in gold.  Each petal is lovingly carved down to the wickedly sharp-looking thorns.  The chain connecting the hoop to the ear sports a quartet of round crimson beads to complement the color of the garnets and provide a bit of weight.


item_name: missing item receipt
description:
This is a receipt for your missing unknown object.  You can either sell it to a shop for something which may be close to replacement value (and may not), or give it to a Liaison and ask very nicely to have it replaced.  You can also try kissing it - who knows, you may get lucky.


item_name: [length] riving of magnolia
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of magnolia, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of magnolia is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of magnolia.


item_name: [length] riving of bamboo
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of bamboo is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of bamboo.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of bamboo, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of plum
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of plum is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of plum.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of plum, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of spruce
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of spruce is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of spruce.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of spruce, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [colour] [wood] walking stick [Uberwald] [woodworking]
weight: 1 3/9 lb
special_find_note: Player made from woodworking, Uberwaldean woodworking book.
description:
Slim and elegant, the balance of this [wood] walking stick is wonderfully light.  The carved magpie's head that forms the handle looks as though it's peering around quizzically.

appraise_text:
The [colour] [wood] walking stick is about three feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wood and could be used as a weapon of type mace.


item_name: [length] riving of wych elm
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of wych elm, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of wych elm is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wych elm.


item_name: [length] riving of buckthorn
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of buckthorn, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of buckthorn is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of buckthorn.


item_name: [length] riving of spindle
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of spindle, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of spindle is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of spindle.


item_name: [length] riving of whitebeam
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of whitebeam, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of whitebeam is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of whitebeam.


item_name: [length] riving of hornbeam
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of hornbeam, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of hornbeam is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of hornbeam.


item_name: [length] riving of oak
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of oak is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of oak.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of oak, about [length] long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of konara oak
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of konara oak, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of konara oak is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of konara oak.


item_name: [length] riving of teak
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of teak is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of teak.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of teak, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of yew
appraise_text: The two-foot riving of yew is about two feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of yew.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of yew, about two feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of rosewood
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of rosewood, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of rosewood is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of rosewood.


item_name: [length] riving of rowan
appraise_text: The five-foot riving of rowan is about five feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of rowan.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of rowan, about five feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of alder
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of alder is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of alder.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of alder, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of apple wood
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of apple wood, about six feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of apple wood is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of apple wood.


item_name: [length] riving of Effing oak
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of Effing oak, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of Effing oak is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of Effing oak.


item_name: [length] riving of bog oak
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of bog oak, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of bog oak is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of bog oak.


item_name: [length] riving of ivy
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of ivy is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of ivy.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of ivy, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of fir
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of fir is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of fir.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of fir, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of wild service
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of wild service, about four-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The four-foot riving of wild service is about four feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of wild service.


item_name: [length] riving of poplar
appraise_text: The six-foot riving of poplar is about six feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of poplar.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of poplar, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of tamarisk
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of tamarisk, about six-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.

appraise_text:
The six-foot riving of tamarisk is about six feet long and about an inch wide.  It is made of tamarisk.


item_name: [length] riving of palm
appraise_text: The four-foot riving of palm is about four feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of palm.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of palm, about four-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of acacia
appraise_text: The two-foot riving of acacia is about two feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of acacia.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of acacia, about two-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: [length] riving of balsa wood
appraise_text: The five-foot riving of balsa is about five feet long and about an inch wide. It is made of balsa.
weight: 2 6/9 lb
description:
This is a riving of balsa, about five-feet long.  This could be used for woodwork, or you could saw it into smaller pieces.


item_name: rumpled wizard's robe
description:
Somehow, this fustily traditional wizard's robe - complete with sequins, octarines, mystickal sigils, and food stains - is also a fustily traditional business suit.  The kind that might be worn by an elderly accountant who deals with long-established family businesses.  Given it belongs to the man in charge of the financial affairs of Unseen University, which would be mindblowingly complex even if they didn't have to account for the depreciation of not-entirely-real estate amortized over semi-imaginary time, and other n-dimensionally complex kinds of mathematics, it's not surprising that it's looking a little frayed around the seams and sigils.


item_name: small earring box
description: This is a small, velvet-lined box just large enough to hold a couple of earrings. It is closed.
weight: 25 g
special_find_note: Box contains two "mirrored earring" items.
appraise_text:
The small earring box is about three inches long and about three inches wide.  It is black and is made of cardboard and velvet and looks like you could hold it.  It can hold less than one pound, or two items.


item_name: creamy sheep cheese
appraise_text: Don't play with your food!
weight: 1/9 lb
description:
Contrary to common belief in some parts, sheep have more uses than producing wool.  Their milk can be used to make a cheese which is rich and creamy and has a flavour entirely its own.


